Fic: Five Days Gone 7/8 [DCU--Tim/Cissie]
Title: Five Days Gone
Authors: lady_sarai, zoe_chan
Continuity: Future AU.
Word Count: Total length: 31,500 This chapter: 4,100
Pairing/Characters: Tim/Cissie, Bruce, Dick, Kon, Bart
Rating/Warnings: Teen for language
Disclaimer: We do not own anything or anyone. We promise.
Note: As stated--this takes place in the future. Bart and Kon are alive (it's very handwavey as to how), Tim and Cissie are married. Tim has given up Robin and become Kestrel.
Summary: Cissie gets kidnapped.
Chapter 7: October 20th
Tim felt a little guilty as he threw his car into park in the visitor parking lot at the hospital. He should have waited for the others to change after their return from Blüdhaven, but when the call came from Gotham City General, he hadn’t been able to stop himself from just going. After a week of inactivity and long days of gnawing certainty that Cissie was already dead, he needed to see her-to prove to himself that she really was going to be all right.
He took the parking lot at a dead run and was at the receptionist’s desk before the doors had finished closing behind him. He gave the young man on the other side of the desk what he hoped passed for a smile as he glanced up at Tim in greeting.
"Can I help you?" he asked.
Tim nodded sharply. "Yes. I’m looking for Cissie Drake."
The receptionist’s eyes widened. "Oh! Uh. Well-I'm sorry, you'll have to wait until she's admitted and brought to a room."
Tim blinked. "I'm her husband. She was brought in by…" he frowned as if trying to remember the name. "That speedster. Zephyr. I should be with her-I just need to know where she is."
The other man grimaced. "I know, and I really am sorry-but it's hospital policy that only two visitors are allowed in the exam rooms, and the police are in with her now."
"Then kick one of the cops out," Tim said flatly. "My wife has been missing for a week. I need to see her now."
"I'm sorry, sir, that's-I can't do that."
"Then let me."
The reception stared open-mouthed for a moment. "Uh, sir, no-I'm sorry, the police gave very explicit orders. They-they said no visitors."
"I’m not a visitor, I’m her husband," he snapped, frustrated. He was tired of people telling him he couldn’t see Cissie.
The young man held up his hands. "Sir, I understand, but there's really nothing I can do. If you take a seat, someone will come speak with you shortly."-“
"I don’t want to take a seat!" Tim exploded. "I want to see my wife!"
"I know, I'm sorry," he said, looking flustered. He glanced around. "Let me see if I can find someone else for you to talk to-I can see if one of the doctors is available?"
"Will a doctor let me see her?" he asked through clenched teeth.
"I-I'm not sure," the receptionist admitted.
"Then why would I want to talk to them?"
"I really don't know anything more than what I've told you, sir-a doctor would be able to give you a better update on her condition and possibly give you an idea of when she will be admitted to a room."
Tim made a frustrated noise in the back of his throat. "Can you please just tell me where she is?"
A hand clapped on Tim's shoulder and pressed down, as if holding him in place. "Tim." It was a sign of how focused he was that he hadn't noticed Bruce enter the ER and approach him until now. In an undertone, Bruce added, "Relax."
Tim whirled on him. "Did you honestly just tell me to relax?" he snapped, pitching his voice low to match Bruce’s.
"Assaulting this young man isn't going to get you in to see her," Bruce replied, unapologetic.
"And it will probably get you arrested," Dick added from over Bruce’s shoulder.
Tim gave both of them a dark scowl before stepping away from the receptionist’s desk. "Fine," he muttered.
"Look who I found," Kon said, appearing behind Dick, dragging a sulking and uncostumed Bart by the elbow.
Tim raised an eyebrow at him, his frown easing slightly. "Why the long face?"
Bart made a face. "One of the doctors called me a menace, and then one of the cops threw me out." He glanced at Kon. "He could have just asked me to leave."
Dick laughed quietly as they made their way to the waiting area. "Chief Rohrbach made a similar comment just before we left Blüdhaven. By the way-she’d prefer it if you gave the city a wide berth."
Bart scowled, dropping heavily into one of the plastic chairs. "The cops in Boston like me."
"The cops in Boston aren’t used to having one of us around," Dick replied with a grin.
"I guess," Bart mumbled. He looked at Tim, who hadn't taken a seat. "Aren't you going to sit down?"
He shook his head sharply, still frowning. "Restless."
Kon crossed his arms over his chest, leaning against the wall and watching Tim warily. He opened his mouth to say something and then cleared his throat. When the others looked at him, he nodded behind them.
Tim turned just as a doctor approached. "Mr. Drake?"
"Yes?" His tone wasn’t quite as sharp as it had been with the receptionist a few minutes earlier.
The doctor held a hand out to shake Tim's hand, introducing himself. "I'm Dr. Daniel, the physician in charge of your wife's case. If you would come with me, I'd like to update you on her condition."
~*~
Tim didn’t think the detectives would ever leave Cissie’s room. It had been-he didn’t know how long it had been. He’d lost track of time. It had been an eternity. When the detectives finally left the hospital room, Tim didn’t even wait for their permission before brushing past them and into the room. He thought they said something as he went by, but he didn’t hear, because Cissie was there, and he could see her, and she was alive.
He stopped in the doorway, and took a few breaths, just staring at her. "Cissie," he breathed, finally.
Cissie glanced up sharply when she heard his voice. “Tim.” She pushed herself into a sitting position, trying to hide a wince, and stared back at him.
Before he knew what was happening, Tim was across the room, taking her face in his hands, kissing her forehead, cheeks, eyelids, nose, lips. "Oh, God, you’re okay, you’re alive," he murmured, pulling back and taking her hands in his. He frowned at the chafe marks on her wrists, brushing them gently with his thumbs. "I'm so sorry…"
She shook her head, blinking through tears and squeezing his hands. “No, don’t, please-” She tugged on his hands and dropped her head to his shoulder, pressing her face into his neck. She took a shaking breath. “Just-hold me. Please.”
He nodded, swallowing hard, and pulled her tightly against him. He closed his eyes, feeling her against him-solid. "You’re-thank God. You’re here."
She took several deep, shuddering breaths and pressed herself against him. She wrapped her arms around him. She knew she was crying, but she couldn’t stop, and she was so tired and she couldn’t think straight-everything was fuzzy-but none of that seemed so bad now. “Tim,” she muttered, repeating his name several times. “I love you. I want to go home. I just-can we go home? Please?”
"Tomorrow. I promise. The minute the doctors say you can go, we’ll leave. Just-tonight we need to stay here. I’m so sorry."
“Stay with me,” she begged, clutching at him. “Don’t leave. Please. Stay here with me tonight.”
"I will. I promise. I’m not going anywhere. There isn’t anything that anyone could do to make me leave you tonight." He settled himself on the bed beside her without taking his arms from around her.
Cissie curled as close to him as she could and managed to choke out his name before she lost it and began sobbing against his chest.
"Oh, Cissie," he murmured, smoothing her hair back and holding her while she let go of the last vestiges of calm that had kept her going through the doctors and the police interviews. "It's okay. I’m here. I have you. Just… It’s okay." He pressed his head against hers, listening to her teeth chatter with sobs and pent-up anxiety.
Cissie shook her head. “No,” she wept, her shaking voice muffled by his chest. “I tried-I tried to get away and they-I don’t know how long they had me, I lost track and then the-the doctors and the police and so many people-I just wanted you and I’ve been trying so hard and my head, Tim, my head is-wrong, it’s all fuzzy and I can’t think right and it hurts and-Tim.”
Tim sighed unhappily. "I'm so sorry, Cissie. I’m so sorry we didn’t get there sooner. Your head-that’s the drugs they gave you to keep you from fighting them." He tried a smile, and was glad she wasn’t looking to see him fail. "You must have given them Hell for them to dope you up like that."
She drew in several long, uneven breaths, still shaking, although she was beginning to calm down-or just exhaust herself. “I tried,” she muttered. “I’m sorry.”
"You do not have anything to be sorry for, so don’t even think it," Tim said fiercely. "I know you tried. You’re you. This was their fault."
Cissie squeezed her eyes shut and worked on calming down. She felt like she couldn’t get close enough to Tim and even though she had stopped sobbing, she couldn’t stop crying. She turned her face against his chest and burrowed closer. Her breathing hitched and she clenched her fists in his shirt. “I love you-so much,” she managed.
"I love you too," he murmured, smoothing her hair down her back. "I-can’t be without you. I'd like to never do that again, if that’s all right."
Cissie managed a hoarse laugh that turned into a choked sob. “Please and thank you.”
~*~
Tim blinked drowsily a few times. He was looking at a wall-a familiar wall. His bedroom at the Manor. He rolled over, smiling a little. It was good to have Cissie-home? He frowned at the empty space beside him. Hadn’t the doctors told her to take it easy? It was early, she shouldn’t be awake yet.
He climbed out of bed, a puzzled frown on his face. None of her things were in his room. He pulled on a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants over his boxers before heading out to look for her.
“Cissie,” he called softly. Others might still be asleep. “Where are you?”
A door opened to his left and Kon stuck his head out. He stared at Tim a moment before registering what he was seeing. “Hey, man.” His voice was hoarse with sleep. “What’s up?”
“Just looking for Cissie,” Tim said, still frowning. “I don’t think she’s supposed to be up…” his voice trailed off at the expression on Kon’s face. “What’s wrong?”
“Tim,” Kon began slowly. “Cissie’s… still missing. I mean-I know we’ll find her any day now, but…”
“No.” Tim shook his head. “Dick found her yesterday-he brought her to the hospital, but she’s home now, and-“
Kon bit his lip. “No, Tim. I was down in the cave all night, listening to Batman and Nightwing work while you slept. They haven’t found anything yet.”
“But I-“
Kon’s face was full of pity. “I’m sorry, man. I think it was just a dream.”
~*~
Tim woke with a start, sitting bolt upright in bed. “No,” he whispered, glancing down at Cissie, who was still sleeping beside him. “This can’t just be a-“ He reached out with slightly shaking hands and brushed Cissie’s cheek with the backs of his fingers, reassuring himself through the touch that she was really there.
Cissie stirred, waking. She blinked and her eyes widened as she took in unfamiliar surroundings. She gasped and jerked away from Tim’s touch, curling in on herself before she saw him.
Tim’s eyes widened, and he flinched back a bit. "I'm sorry, Ciss-I didn’t mean to scare you."
Cissie stared, wide-eyed, for a second before exhaling and relaxing back against the pillows. “It wasn’t you,” she said quietly.
"I'm still sorry I scared you," he murmured, leaning forward to kiss her forehead.
She inhaled slowly, closing her eyes for a moment. “You didn’t scare me,” she murmured. “I-did that myself.”
He gave her a little half-smile. "Bad dreams?"
She shifted, tucking herself against Tim’s side. “Not… exactly,” she murmured. “I just-“ She shuddered. “I didn’t know where I was for a second.”
Tim winced. "And having some strange person reaching toward your face didn’t help, I imagine. I’m sorry."
She shook her head. “Don’t be. Really. It’s okay.” She rolled toward him a little, wrapping an arm around his waist.
He pulled her into a hug, burying his face in her neck. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, taking in the scent of her hair. He didn’t think he would have dreamed that.
Cissie pressed against him, holding him close. She frowned a little. “Tim? You’re shaking,” she said gently. “What’s wrong?”
He pulled back slightly and tried a smile. "Nothing. Just glad you’re okay."
Her frown deepened. “It’s not nothing,” she argued.
"It's-you shouldn’t be worried about me," he muttered, dropping a kiss on her nose.
“Does that mean you’re worrying about me?” she murmured, watching him closely. “Because-I’m okay now.” She gave him a tight smile. “Or-you know. I will be.”
"I'm glad. I just…" He grimaced. "I'm sorry. I’m brooding again. Don’t worry about it."
She sighed and reached up to touch his face. “Is that why you’re awake? Because you’re brooding?”
"I-woke up. The brooding came afterwards. I’m sorry-you should get some rest."
“I’m fine.” She shook her head, frowning. “What are you brooding about? Why’d you wake up?”
Tim pulled a face. "It was just a bad dream." He hoped Cissie didn’t hear the slightly desperate note in his voice.
Cissie reached up and touched his face. “What happened?” she asked softly. “Tell me?”
Tim frowned, biting the inside of his mouth. "It… it was a dream that all of this-“ he waved his hand vaguely. "Was a dream."
She blinked at him. “You dreamt…” she paused, thinking. “That what was a dream?”
Tim felt his face tighten. "This. You. Being here, safe. I dreamt I woke up in my room at Bruce’s and… you weren’t there. I looked for you. Kon said you were still missing." He gave a shrug that was more of a sharp jerk of the shoulder than anything else. "That's all."
She brushed her thumb across his cheek. “Tim,” she murmured. “I’m here. It wasn’t a dream.”
"I know," he said irritably. "I just-damn it." He pressed the heel of his hand into his forehead, trying to force the tears back.
“Shh,” Cissie whispered. She moved her hand from his cheek to take his hand. She squeezed his fingers, trying to pry his hand from his forehead.
He shook his head sharply, pressing his hand more tightly against his forehead. He clamped his eyes shut and set his mouth in a firm line, his entire body tensing with the effort to keep from falling apart.
“Tim.” She shifted and cupped the side of his face with her free hand. She pulled harder at his fingers. “It’s okay,” she said softly. She pushed his hair back and then used both hands to tug at his, finally succeeding in pulling his hand from his forehead. She squeezed his hand, but didn’t let go.
He felt his face draw in on itself as though he were hoping to hold himself together through sheer muscle effort. It lasted for about two seconds before he dropped his face into Cissie’s shoulder, shaking. "I just-If it weren’t, if we hadn’t. I couldn’t stop thinking about-" His jaw snapped shut as he worked to keep back the actual sobs that were threatening to break free.
“Oh, Tim,” she murmured. She brought her arms up and wrapped them around his shoulders, leaning her cheek against the top of his head and holding him close. “It’s okay. I’m okay.”
"I know," he snapped, keeping his head buried in her shoulder. "I just can’t stop thinking."
“Thinking what?” she asked in a low voice, stroking his hair.
"It's like having a song stuck in my head," he bit off, not really answering her question. "The thoughts, and images-they just keep going around in circles."
She held him closer, burying her face in his hair. “Oh, sweetheart-talk to me. Please.”
Tim made a strangled noise. "I just-keep seeing. What could have happened if Dick hadn't-" His voice broke off as a shudder shook him.
Cissie tightened her arms around him. She pressed her lips to his head. “Shh, baby. I’m here. I’m fine.”
His breath hitched. "But if you weren’t.”
“I know,” she murmured. “I’m so sorry.”
"Don't be," he,” snapped fiercely, pressing his forehead against her shoulder. "Not your fault. Should have found you sooner."
“God, Tim,” she whispered. She held him as tightly as she could. “Please don’t think like that. If there was any way you could have, you would have. I know that.”
"But I couldn’t-they wouldn’t let me. I just-" his voice broke off desperately. "If I had just done something, maybe you would have…"
She exhaled slowly. “You did everything you could. Everyone did. I know that. And now I’m here, and it’s over, Tim. It’s over and we’ll go home tomorrow.”
Tim didn’t respond except to hold Cissie more tightly, still keeping his face hidden in her shoulder.
She pushed her fingers through his hair and rubbed his back in small circles. “Oh, Tim,” she murmured. “I’m alright. I’m here now.”
"You should not have to make me feel better," he muttered, his voice muffled against her hospital gown. "I'm not the one who's who’s in the hospital because I was just kidnapped."
She sighed. “No. You’re the one whose wife is in the hospital because she was kidnapped. You’re the one who’s blaming himself for things completely out of his control.”
"That's not-" Tim stopped, gritting his teeth.
“Not what?” she asked. “Not what you’re doing? I think it is.”
He made an inarticulate noise against her shoulder.
She sighed and continued to stroke his hair. “Talk to me, please.”
He swallowed past a sudden lump in his throat. "I-I thought you were dead," he said finally.
“Oh Tim,” she murmured, and tightened her arms around him. She buried her face in his hair and held him. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
"Not your fault, so stop it," he growled into her shoulder. "I just-" he gritted his teeth again. "God, I was so scared."
“I know. Me too,” Cissie whispered. She squeezed her eyes shut, holding him as he shook. “Shhh. I’m okay. I promise. I’m right here. God, Tim,” she muttered, and shuddered. “It’s over now. It’s over.”
"I know, I just-fuck." Tim cursed as his voice broke. He could feel tears soaking into Cissie’s shirt and he couldn’t stop them or the shuddering sobs that seemed determined to tear themselves out of his chest. "Fuck," he muttered again brokenly.
“Shh…” She held him close, rubbing his back as he sobbed into her neck. She murmured reassurances, kissing his hair and what she could reach of his face-his forehead, his ear, his temple. “It’s all right, Tim. I’m here. I have you.”
"Damn it," he growled, trying to force the tears back again. "I didn’t-I wasn’t going to do this."
“Don’t,” she murmured. “It’s okay. You can’t keep holding it in-it’s okay, Tim. Let go, hon, please. It’s okay-I’m okay. I promise.”
He made a noise that was too hoarse to be a wail. "I know. Just-everyone was saying-and I know-and morgues-and I thought-but I couldn't-“ his voice broke off under a fresh bout of sobs.
Cissie held him, making shushing noises and blinking away her own tears as Tim lost whatever tenuous control he had been holding on to for the last week. “I’m here,” she murmured. “I know.” He was shaking so hard as he wept that she tightened her arms around him, because it felt a little like he might fly apart. She was only half aware of what she was saying as he fell apart in her arms. “I’ve got you. I love you, Tim. Shhh-it’s okay.”
He nodded vigorously into her shoulder, but it was several minutes before he was able to compose himself enough for words again. "I know," he said finally, voice hoarse and hollow from crying. "I know. I was just so sure I’d never see you again-" His face twisted and he bit his lip-hard-to keep from breaking down again. "It's just-trying to forget all that isn’t as easy as I would like."
Cissie held him, rubbing his back as he worked at calming himself down, and waiting until she was sure her voice wouldn’t shake. “I know. I-” She stopped, closing her eyes. She whispered, “I want to forget, too.”
Tim groaned softly into her shoulder. "God. I know. I'm such a jerk. I should-be better."
“You are not a jerk.” Cissie shoved lightly at his shoulder. “What do you mean? Better how?”
"Better than this," he muttered. "Not a wreck. You’re the one who gets to be the wreck. Not me."
“Don’t. Tim, please. I think-” Her voice broke a little. “I think we both get to be wrecks, okay? I took my turn earlier, and trust me-I’ll probably take another turn later, but-” She held him closer. “At least we’re not being wrecks at the same time?”
Tim laughed wetly. "Yeah."
Cissie shifted a little, pushing gently on his shoulders as she did so. She waited until he lifted his head and looked at her, then touched the side of his face and brushed her thumb over his cheek. “I love you so much,” she whispered thickly.
"Love you too," Tim murmured, pushing his face into her hand.
“I really am all right now,” she said softly. She gave him a slight-but sincere-smile. “You’re here.”
Tim let out a breath. "I'm here." He tried a smile and succeeded, mostly. "And so are you. I’m glad you’re here." He turned his face slightly and kissed the palm of her hand.
Cissie’s smile eased, growing a little. “Me too.” She moved her hand to the back of his neck and pulled him up. She kissed him lightly before resting her temple against his and shutting her eyes. “Are you okay?”
"Getting there," he said, with a slightly more convincing smile. He relaxed slightly, letting his head come to rest against hers. "I just… needed to convince myself that you were really okay, I think."
“Hmm,” she murmured, shutting her eyes. “I am.” She tilted her head a little, nuzzling his cheek and pressing her lips against his jaw. “Do you think you’re convinced enough to try and get some sleep?”
Tim tried to stifle a yawn, smiling around it. "I might be able to manage it."
Cissie made a small, pleased sound and kissed him once more before settling back more comfortably against her pillows and drawing Tim down with her. She waited while he got the message and settled against her, resting his head on her shoulder. She leaned her head against his and shifted to better hold him and be held. “Good night, hon,” she said sleepily. “I love you.”
"Love you too," he murmured, wrapping his arms tightly around her. "See you in the morning."
“I’ll be here,” she whispered. She listened to his breathing even out and felt him relax. It wasn’t long before she followed his lead and slid into an exhausted sleep.
~*~
Authors: lady_sarai, zoe_chan
Continuity: Future AU.
Word Count: Total length: 31,500 This chapter: 4,100
Pairing/Characters: Tim/Cissie, Bruce, Dick, Kon, Bart
Rating/Warnings: Teen for language
Disclaimer: We do not own anything or anyone. We promise.
Note: As stated--this takes place in the future. Bart and Kon are alive (it's very handwavey as to how), Tim and Cissie are married. Tim has given up Robin and become Kestrel.
Summary: Cissie gets kidnapped.
Chapter 7: October 20th
Tim felt a little guilty as he threw his car into park in the visitor parking lot at the hospital. He should have waited for the others to change after their return from Blüdhaven, but when the call came from Gotham City General, he hadn’t been able to stop himself from just going. After a week of inactivity and long days of gnawing certainty that Cissie was already dead, he needed to see her-to prove to himself that she really was going to be all right.
He took the parking lot at a dead run and was at the receptionist’s desk before the doors had finished closing behind him. He gave the young man on the other side of the desk what he hoped passed for a smile as he glanced up at Tim in greeting.
"Can I help you?" he asked.
Tim nodded sharply. "Yes. I’m looking for Cissie Drake."
The receptionist’s eyes widened. "Oh! Uh. Well-I'm sorry, you'll have to wait until she's admitted and brought to a room."
Tim blinked. "I'm her husband. She was brought in by…" he frowned as if trying to remember the name. "That speedster. Zephyr. I should be with her-I just need to know where she is."
The other man grimaced. "I know, and I really am sorry-but it's hospital policy that only two visitors are allowed in the exam rooms, and the police are in with her now."
"Then kick one of the cops out," Tim said flatly. "My wife has been missing for a week. I need to see her now."
"I'm sorry, sir, that's-I can't do that."
"Then let me."
The reception stared open-mouthed for a moment. "Uh, sir, no-I'm sorry, the police gave very explicit orders. They-they said no visitors."
"I’m not a visitor, I’m her husband," he snapped, frustrated. He was tired of people telling him he couldn’t see Cissie.
The young man held up his hands. "Sir, I understand, but there's really nothing I can do. If you take a seat, someone will come speak with you shortly."-“
"I don’t want to take a seat!" Tim exploded. "I want to see my wife!"
"I know, I'm sorry," he said, looking flustered. He glanced around. "Let me see if I can find someone else for you to talk to-I can see if one of the doctors is available?"
"Will a doctor let me see her?" he asked through clenched teeth.
"I-I'm not sure," the receptionist admitted.
"Then why would I want to talk to them?"
"I really don't know anything more than what I've told you, sir-a doctor would be able to give you a better update on her condition and possibly give you an idea of when she will be admitted to a room."
Tim made a frustrated noise in the back of his throat. "Can you please just tell me where she is?"
A hand clapped on Tim's shoulder and pressed down, as if holding him in place. "Tim." It was a sign of how focused he was that he hadn't noticed Bruce enter the ER and approach him until now. In an undertone, Bruce added, "Relax."
Tim whirled on him. "Did you honestly just tell me to relax?" he snapped, pitching his voice low to match Bruce’s.
"Assaulting this young man isn't going to get you in to see her," Bruce replied, unapologetic.
"And it will probably get you arrested," Dick added from over Bruce’s shoulder.
Tim gave both of them a dark scowl before stepping away from the receptionist’s desk. "Fine," he muttered.
"Look who I found," Kon said, appearing behind Dick, dragging a sulking and uncostumed Bart by the elbow.
Tim raised an eyebrow at him, his frown easing slightly. "Why the long face?"
Bart made a face. "One of the doctors called me a menace, and then one of the cops threw me out." He glanced at Kon. "He could have just asked me to leave."
Dick laughed quietly as they made their way to the waiting area. "Chief Rohrbach made a similar comment just before we left Blüdhaven. By the way-she’d prefer it if you gave the city a wide berth."
Bart scowled, dropping heavily into one of the plastic chairs. "The cops in Boston like me."
"The cops in Boston aren’t used to having one of us around," Dick replied with a grin.
"I guess," Bart mumbled. He looked at Tim, who hadn't taken a seat. "Aren't you going to sit down?"
He shook his head sharply, still frowning. "Restless."
Kon crossed his arms over his chest, leaning against the wall and watching Tim warily. He opened his mouth to say something and then cleared his throat. When the others looked at him, he nodded behind them.
Tim turned just as a doctor approached. "Mr. Drake?"
"Yes?" His tone wasn’t quite as sharp as it had been with the receptionist a few minutes earlier.
The doctor held a hand out to shake Tim's hand, introducing himself. "I'm Dr. Daniel, the physician in charge of your wife's case. If you would come with me, I'd like to update you on her condition."
~*~
Tim didn’t think the detectives would ever leave Cissie’s room. It had been-he didn’t know how long it had been. He’d lost track of time. It had been an eternity. When the detectives finally left the hospital room, Tim didn’t even wait for their permission before brushing past them and into the room. He thought they said something as he went by, but he didn’t hear, because Cissie was there, and he could see her, and she was alive.
He stopped in the doorway, and took a few breaths, just staring at her. "Cissie," he breathed, finally.
Cissie glanced up sharply when she heard his voice. “Tim.” She pushed herself into a sitting position, trying to hide a wince, and stared back at him.
Before he knew what was happening, Tim was across the room, taking her face in his hands, kissing her forehead, cheeks, eyelids, nose, lips. "Oh, God, you’re okay, you’re alive," he murmured, pulling back and taking her hands in his. He frowned at the chafe marks on her wrists, brushing them gently with his thumbs. "I'm so sorry…"
She shook her head, blinking through tears and squeezing his hands. “No, don’t, please-” She tugged on his hands and dropped her head to his shoulder, pressing her face into his neck. She took a shaking breath. “Just-hold me. Please.”
He nodded, swallowing hard, and pulled her tightly against him. He closed his eyes, feeling her against him-solid. "You’re-thank God. You’re here."
She took several deep, shuddering breaths and pressed herself against him. She wrapped her arms around him. She knew she was crying, but she couldn’t stop, and she was so tired and she couldn’t think straight-everything was fuzzy-but none of that seemed so bad now. “Tim,” she muttered, repeating his name several times. “I love you. I want to go home. I just-can we go home? Please?”
"Tomorrow. I promise. The minute the doctors say you can go, we’ll leave. Just-tonight we need to stay here. I’m so sorry."
“Stay with me,” she begged, clutching at him. “Don’t leave. Please. Stay here with me tonight.”
"I will. I promise. I’m not going anywhere. There isn’t anything that anyone could do to make me leave you tonight." He settled himself on the bed beside her without taking his arms from around her.
Cissie curled as close to him as she could and managed to choke out his name before she lost it and began sobbing against his chest.
"Oh, Cissie," he murmured, smoothing her hair back and holding her while she let go of the last vestiges of calm that had kept her going through the doctors and the police interviews. "It's okay. I’m here. I have you. Just… It’s okay." He pressed his head against hers, listening to her teeth chatter with sobs and pent-up anxiety.
Cissie shook her head. “No,” she wept, her shaking voice muffled by his chest. “I tried-I tried to get away and they-I don’t know how long they had me, I lost track and then the-the doctors and the police and so many people-I just wanted you and I’ve been trying so hard and my head, Tim, my head is-wrong, it’s all fuzzy and I can’t think right and it hurts and-Tim.”
Tim sighed unhappily. "I'm so sorry, Cissie. I’m so sorry we didn’t get there sooner. Your head-that’s the drugs they gave you to keep you from fighting them." He tried a smile, and was glad she wasn’t looking to see him fail. "You must have given them Hell for them to dope you up like that."
She drew in several long, uneven breaths, still shaking, although she was beginning to calm down-or just exhaust herself. “I tried,” she muttered. “I’m sorry.”
"You do not have anything to be sorry for, so don’t even think it," Tim said fiercely. "I know you tried. You’re you. This was their fault."
Cissie squeezed her eyes shut and worked on calming down. She felt like she couldn’t get close enough to Tim and even though she had stopped sobbing, she couldn’t stop crying. She turned her face against his chest and burrowed closer. Her breathing hitched and she clenched her fists in his shirt. “I love you-so much,” she managed.
"I love you too," he murmured, smoothing her hair down her back. "I-can’t be without you. I'd like to never do that again, if that’s all right."
Cissie managed a hoarse laugh that turned into a choked sob. “Please and thank you.”
~*~
Tim blinked drowsily a few times. He was looking at a wall-a familiar wall. His bedroom at the Manor. He rolled over, smiling a little. It was good to have Cissie-home? He frowned at the empty space beside him. Hadn’t the doctors told her to take it easy? It was early, she shouldn’t be awake yet.
He climbed out of bed, a puzzled frown on his face. None of her things were in his room. He pulled on a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants over his boxers before heading out to look for her.
“Cissie,” he called softly. Others might still be asleep. “Where are you?”
A door opened to his left and Kon stuck his head out. He stared at Tim a moment before registering what he was seeing. “Hey, man.” His voice was hoarse with sleep. “What’s up?”
“Just looking for Cissie,” Tim said, still frowning. “I don’t think she’s supposed to be up…” his voice trailed off at the expression on Kon’s face. “What’s wrong?”
“Tim,” Kon began slowly. “Cissie’s… still missing. I mean-I know we’ll find her any day now, but…”
“No.” Tim shook his head. “Dick found her yesterday-he brought her to the hospital, but she’s home now, and-“
Kon bit his lip. “No, Tim. I was down in the cave all night, listening to Batman and Nightwing work while you slept. They haven’t found anything yet.”
“But I-“
Kon’s face was full of pity. “I’m sorry, man. I think it was just a dream.”
~*~
Tim woke with a start, sitting bolt upright in bed. “No,” he whispered, glancing down at Cissie, who was still sleeping beside him. “This can’t just be a-“ He reached out with slightly shaking hands and brushed Cissie’s cheek with the backs of his fingers, reassuring himself through the touch that she was really there.
Cissie stirred, waking. She blinked and her eyes widened as she took in unfamiliar surroundings. She gasped and jerked away from Tim’s touch, curling in on herself before she saw him.
Tim’s eyes widened, and he flinched back a bit. "I'm sorry, Ciss-I didn’t mean to scare you."
Cissie stared, wide-eyed, for a second before exhaling and relaxing back against the pillows. “It wasn’t you,” she said quietly.
"I'm still sorry I scared you," he murmured, leaning forward to kiss her forehead.
She inhaled slowly, closing her eyes for a moment. “You didn’t scare me,” she murmured. “I-did that myself.”
He gave her a little half-smile. "Bad dreams?"
She shifted, tucking herself against Tim’s side. “Not… exactly,” she murmured. “I just-“ She shuddered. “I didn’t know where I was for a second.”
Tim winced. "And having some strange person reaching toward your face didn’t help, I imagine. I’m sorry."
She shook her head. “Don’t be. Really. It’s okay.” She rolled toward him a little, wrapping an arm around his waist.
He pulled her into a hug, burying his face in her neck. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, taking in the scent of her hair. He didn’t think he would have dreamed that.
Cissie pressed against him, holding him close. She frowned a little. “Tim? You’re shaking,” she said gently. “What’s wrong?”
He pulled back slightly and tried a smile. "Nothing. Just glad you’re okay."
Her frown deepened. “It’s not nothing,” she argued.
"It's-you shouldn’t be worried about me," he muttered, dropping a kiss on her nose.
“Does that mean you’re worrying about me?” she murmured, watching him closely. “Because-I’m okay now.” She gave him a tight smile. “Or-you know. I will be.”
"I'm glad. I just…" He grimaced. "I'm sorry. I’m brooding again. Don’t worry about it."
She sighed and reached up to touch his face. “Is that why you’re awake? Because you’re brooding?”
"I-woke up. The brooding came afterwards. I’m sorry-you should get some rest."
“I’m fine.” She shook her head, frowning. “What are you brooding about? Why’d you wake up?”
Tim pulled a face. "It was just a bad dream." He hoped Cissie didn’t hear the slightly desperate note in his voice.
Cissie reached up and touched his face. “What happened?” she asked softly. “Tell me?”
Tim frowned, biting the inside of his mouth. "It… it was a dream that all of this-“ he waved his hand vaguely. "Was a dream."
She blinked at him. “You dreamt…” she paused, thinking. “That what was a dream?”
Tim felt his face tighten. "This. You. Being here, safe. I dreamt I woke up in my room at Bruce’s and… you weren’t there. I looked for you. Kon said you were still missing." He gave a shrug that was more of a sharp jerk of the shoulder than anything else. "That's all."
She brushed her thumb across his cheek. “Tim,” she murmured. “I’m here. It wasn’t a dream.”
"I know," he said irritably. "I just-damn it." He pressed the heel of his hand into his forehead, trying to force the tears back.
“Shh,” Cissie whispered. She moved her hand from his cheek to take his hand. She squeezed his fingers, trying to pry his hand from his forehead.
He shook his head sharply, pressing his hand more tightly against his forehead. He clamped his eyes shut and set his mouth in a firm line, his entire body tensing with the effort to keep from falling apart.
“Tim.” She shifted and cupped the side of his face with her free hand. She pulled harder at his fingers. “It’s okay,” she said softly. She pushed his hair back and then used both hands to tug at his, finally succeeding in pulling his hand from his forehead. She squeezed his hand, but didn’t let go.
He felt his face draw in on itself as though he were hoping to hold himself together through sheer muscle effort. It lasted for about two seconds before he dropped his face into Cissie’s shoulder, shaking. "I just-If it weren’t, if we hadn’t. I couldn’t stop thinking about-" His jaw snapped shut as he worked to keep back the actual sobs that were threatening to break free.
“Oh, Tim,” she murmured. She brought her arms up and wrapped them around his shoulders, leaning her cheek against the top of his head and holding him close. “It’s okay. I’m okay.”
"I know," he snapped, keeping his head buried in her shoulder. "I just can’t stop thinking."
“Thinking what?” she asked in a low voice, stroking his hair.
"It's like having a song stuck in my head," he bit off, not really answering her question. "The thoughts, and images-they just keep going around in circles."
She held him closer, burying her face in his hair. “Oh, sweetheart-talk to me. Please.”
Tim made a strangled noise. "I just-keep seeing. What could have happened if Dick hadn't-" His voice broke off as a shudder shook him.
Cissie tightened her arms around him. She pressed her lips to his head. “Shh, baby. I’m here. I’m fine.”
His breath hitched. "But if you weren’t.”
“I know,” she murmured. “I’m so sorry.”
"Don't be," he,” snapped fiercely, pressing his forehead against her shoulder. "Not your fault. Should have found you sooner."
“God, Tim,” she whispered. She held him as tightly as she could. “Please don’t think like that. If there was any way you could have, you would have. I know that.”
"But I couldn’t-they wouldn’t let me. I just-" his voice broke off desperately. "If I had just done something, maybe you would have…"
She exhaled slowly. “You did everything you could. Everyone did. I know that. And now I’m here, and it’s over, Tim. It’s over and we’ll go home tomorrow.”
Tim didn’t respond except to hold Cissie more tightly, still keeping his face hidden in her shoulder.
She pushed her fingers through his hair and rubbed his back in small circles. “Oh, Tim,” she murmured. “I’m alright. I’m here now.”
"You should not have to make me feel better," he muttered, his voice muffled against her hospital gown. "I'm not the one who's who’s in the hospital because I was just kidnapped."
She sighed. “No. You’re the one whose wife is in the hospital because she was kidnapped. You’re the one who’s blaming himself for things completely out of his control.”
"That's not-" Tim stopped, gritting his teeth.
“Not what?” she asked. “Not what you’re doing? I think it is.”
He made an inarticulate noise against her shoulder.
She sighed and continued to stroke his hair. “Talk to me, please.”
He swallowed past a sudden lump in his throat. "I-I thought you were dead," he said finally.
“Oh Tim,” she murmured, and tightened her arms around him. She buried her face in his hair and held him. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
"Not your fault, so stop it," he growled into her shoulder. "I just-" he gritted his teeth again. "God, I was so scared."
“I know. Me too,” Cissie whispered. She squeezed her eyes shut, holding him as he shook. “Shhh. I’m okay. I promise. I’m right here. God, Tim,” she muttered, and shuddered. “It’s over now. It’s over.”
"I know, I just-fuck." Tim cursed as his voice broke. He could feel tears soaking into Cissie’s shirt and he couldn’t stop them or the shuddering sobs that seemed determined to tear themselves out of his chest. "Fuck," he muttered again brokenly.
“Shh…” She held him close, rubbing his back as he sobbed into her neck. She murmured reassurances, kissing his hair and what she could reach of his face-his forehead, his ear, his temple. “It’s all right, Tim. I’m here. I have you.”
"Damn it," he growled, trying to force the tears back again. "I didn’t-I wasn’t going to do this."
“Don’t,” she murmured. “It’s okay. You can’t keep holding it in-it’s okay, Tim. Let go, hon, please. It’s okay-I’m okay. I promise.”
He made a noise that was too hoarse to be a wail. "I know. Just-everyone was saying-and I know-and morgues-and I thought-but I couldn't-“ his voice broke off under a fresh bout of sobs.
Cissie held him, making shushing noises and blinking away her own tears as Tim lost whatever tenuous control he had been holding on to for the last week. “I’m here,” she murmured. “I know.” He was shaking so hard as he wept that she tightened her arms around him, because it felt a little like he might fly apart. She was only half aware of what she was saying as he fell apart in her arms. “I’ve got you. I love you, Tim. Shhh-it’s okay.”
He nodded vigorously into her shoulder, but it was several minutes before he was able to compose himself enough for words again. "I know," he said finally, voice hoarse and hollow from crying. "I know. I was just so sure I’d never see you again-" His face twisted and he bit his lip-hard-to keep from breaking down again. "It's just-trying to forget all that isn’t as easy as I would like."
Cissie held him, rubbing his back as he worked at calming himself down, and waiting until she was sure her voice wouldn’t shake. “I know. I-” She stopped, closing her eyes. She whispered, “I want to forget, too.”
Tim groaned softly into her shoulder. "God. I know. I'm such a jerk. I should-be better."
“You are not a jerk.” Cissie shoved lightly at his shoulder. “What do you mean? Better how?”
"Better than this," he muttered. "Not a wreck. You’re the one who gets to be the wreck. Not me."
“Don’t. Tim, please. I think-” Her voice broke a little. “I think we both get to be wrecks, okay? I took my turn earlier, and trust me-I’ll probably take another turn later, but-” She held him closer. “At least we’re not being wrecks at the same time?”
Tim laughed wetly. "Yeah."
Cissie shifted a little, pushing gently on his shoulders as she did so. She waited until he lifted his head and looked at her, then touched the side of his face and brushed her thumb over his cheek. “I love you so much,” she whispered thickly.
"Love you too," Tim murmured, pushing his face into her hand.
“I really am all right now,” she said softly. She gave him a slight-but sincere-smile. “You’re here.”
Tim let out a breath. "I'm here." He tried a smile and succeeded, mostly. "And so are you. I’m glad you’re here." He turned his face slightly and kissed the palm of her hand.
Cissie’s smile eased, growing a little. “Me too.” She moved her hand to the back of his neck and pulled him up. She kissed him lightly before resting her temple against his and shutting her eyes. “Are you okay?”
"Getting there," he said, with a slightly more convincing smile. He relaxed slightly, letting his head come to rest against hers. "I just… needed to convince myself that you were really okay, I think."
“Hmm,” she murmured, shutting her eyes. “I am.” She tilted her head a little, nuzzling his cheek and pressing her lips against his jaw. “Do you think you’re convinced enough to try and get some sleep?”
Tim tried to stifle a yawn, smiling around it. "I might be able to manage it."
Cissie made a small, pleased sound and kissed him once more before settling back more comfortably against her pillows and drawing Tim down with her. She waited while he got the message and settled against her, resting his head on her shoulder. She leaned her head against his and shifted to better hold him and be held. “Good night, hon,” she said sleepily. “I love you.”
"Love you too," he murmured, wrapping his arms tightly around her. "See you in the morning."
“I’ll be here,” she whispered. She listened to his breathing even out and felt him relax. It wasn’t long before she followed his lead and slid into an exhausted sleep.
~*~