Fice: Five Days Gone 8/8 [DCU--Tim/Cissie]
Title: Five Days Gone
Authors: lady_sarai, zoe_chan
Continuity: Future AU.
Word Count: Total length: 31,500 This chapter: 4,000
Pairing/Characters: Tim/Cissie, Bruce, Dick, Kon, Bart
Rating/Warnings: Teen for language
Disclaimer: We do not own anything or anyone. We promise.
Note: As stated--this takes place in the future. Bart and Kon are alive (it's very handwavey as to how), Tim and Cissie are married. Tim has given up Robin and become Kestrel.
Summary: Cissie gets kidnapped.
Chapter 8: October 21st
It was late the next day before Cissie was finally discharged and allowed to leave the hospital. Bruce suggested they stay at the Manor for a few days, but both Tim and Cissie just wanted to be home. When Tim parked the car at their apartment building, Cissie breathed a sigh of relief. Making their way into the building, she squeezed his hand and held it tightly all the way up the stairs to their third floor apartment. She spent the entire walk up hoping that none of their neighbors would hear them-it wasn't that she didn't want to see them, but she just wanted to be home-she didn't want to deal with any more people.
They made it into the apartment without incident, and Tim shut and bolted the door behind them. He turned back to Cissie with a wry smile. "No company."
Cissie sighed and returned the smile. "Good," she replied feelingly. She reached out a hand and caught his arm, pulling him closer. She wrapped her arms around his chest and dropped her forehead to his shoulder. "It's good to be home," she murmured.
"It's good to have you home," Tim said, pulling her tightly against him.
"Hmm," she murmured, burrowing closer to him. She turned her face into his neck and just breathed, feeling safe for the first time in days. She swallowed past the lump in her throat and sighed heavily.
Tim smoothed her hair down her back, trying not to think about the past week. "Are you hungry?" he asked finally. "Bart said that Rosa came by with a lasagna."
"Did she? That was nice of her." Cissie didn't move except to shrug slightly. "I'm not really all that hungry," she admitted. "But we should probably eat at some point."
"Probably," he said with a faint smile. "But it will take an hour to heat in the oven, so-if I start it now, maybe we’ll be hungry when it’s finished?"
"Maybe." She sighed again, unwilling to break the hug quite yet. "And-I do want a shower sometime soon," she admitted. She gave a dry laugh. "A sponge bath is just not the same."
He grimaced. "No. Did you… want to do that now?" Tim was equally reluctant to break the hug, but he wanted to be sure that Cissie was happy and comfortable. "I can put in the lasagna, then come in and keep you company."
Cissie sighed again and tightened her arms around him. "That's not a bad idea," she said reluctantly. She pulled back just far enough to look up at him. "I don't want to move," she admitted wryly, "but a shower sounds really good."
He smiled. "Go take your shower, beautiful. I’ll be in in a few minutes. And maybe we can cuddle up on the couch and watch a movie afterwards, how’s that sound?"
"It sounds perfect," she replied, leaning up to kiss him. "Love you."
"Love you, too." He watched as Cissie made her way down the hall to the bathroom, then turned to the oven, setting it to preheat. When the light had clicked off, he pulled the lasagna from the freezer and put it in the oven with the foil still on top to keep from burning the cheese. He set the timer for an hour, then left the kitchen to go find Cissie.
~*~
Cissie grabbed a set of towels from the linen closet, pausing for a moment to just look around and be happy to be home. She buried her nose in the towels, breathing in the smell of clean laundry before turning on the shower. She brushed her teeth while she waited for the water to heat up. It felt so good to be able to use her toothpaste, her toothbrush, at her sink, in her home. When she finished, she rinsed her toothbrush and put it away, glancing up at the mirror. She froze, her stomach sinking. She'd known she probably didn't look great after-everything, but she hadn't expected this. Bruises-along her jaw, her cheekbone. She turned her head to get a better look at one near her ear, and stopped when she realized that it wasn't a shadow she was looking at on her neck.
She shuddered and turned away from the mirror to check the water. She undressed and climbed in, exhaling slowly as the warm water hit her. Cissie stood under the spray for a minute. The water washed over her, but she barely felt it. She raised her hands and stared at her wrists, chafed raw from the ropes they'd been tied with. Her throat closed up and her chest felt tight-she couldn't breathe. She leaned forward, pressing her forehead to the shower wall. The water pounded on her back and she pressed her hands over her mouth, as if doing so would help hold the panic back.
Tim opened the door to the bathroom and let himself in. "Hey Cissie," he called over the rush of the water.
She tried to pull herself together, to find her voice so she could answer him, but couldn't seem to remove her hands from her mouth. She made an incoherent noise in her throat instead, curling in on herself.
"Cissie?" he called again, his voice raising slightly in alarm. "Are you okay?"
She forced herself to move her hands from her mouth, barely managing to choke out his name before she burst into tears and her legs gave out beneath her, forcing her to slide down the shower wall.
Without any further thought, Tim shoved open the shower curtain and climbed into the shower with her, heedless of the fact that he was still completely clothed. He sat down beside her on the floor of the bathtub and put his arms around her.
Cissie clutched at him, burying her face in his shirt. She gasped, trying to calm down. "I'm sorry," she choked out. "I can't-sorry-can't breathe."
"It's okay," Tim said soothingly. "Just… take it slowly."
Cissie shook her head against him, dragging in fast, shallow breaths. " I can't-I don't-don't know how-" Her voice trailed off, dissolving into a desperate whine. She unclenched her fingers from his shirt and pressed her hand against his shoulder, making another distressed noise. She hit his shoulder again feebly, shaking her head. Her skin crawled, her chest was tight, her stomach churned. "I don’t know why-I don't know-what to do," she managed, shuddering.
"It's okay," Tim said again. "Can you breathe with me? Breathe in, Cissie. Big breath. It’s okay." He took a deep breath and watched Cissie for signs that she was following suit.
She dragged in a shuddering breath, letting it out with him. She followed his cues for several deep breaths, focusing on his voice and his chest moving under her as he breathed. She shook her head again, asking weakly, "What's wrong with me?"
"Nothing's wrong with you," he said quietly, pulling her a little closer. "You've been through a lot over the past week, and the drugs they gave you can have this effect on people. It’s not you."
Cissie exhaled slowly before dragging in another long, deep breath. She opened her eyes and stared at Tim's dark blue shirt before speaking. "I don't know why, I just-panicked. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't-stop." She shivered convulsively, despite the warm water still falling over them.
"Shh, it’s okay," he murmured, chafing her skin lightly to warm her. "It's not your fault."
She burrowed closer to him, still shivering but beginning to breathe more easily. She turned her head to rest her ear against him to better feel the rise and fall of his chest. Once she was calmer, she frowned slightly and pushed away just enough to look at him. She picked at his shirt, looking him over. "You're… dressed."
"Yes," he said ruefully, glancing down at his clothes. "And wet."
She made a face, dropping her head back to his shoulder. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be," he said, smiling lightly. "It's not often I get to play knight in shining armor to my lovely wife."
Cissie managed a small smile, hugging him. "You're always my knight in shining armor," she said softly-her voice only shook a little as she shivered. The water was warm, but the air was cool on her wet skin.
Tim pulled away slightly. "You should finish up your shower, sweetheart. Do you want me to stay?"
She hesitated, pulling back to sit on her heels. She wrapped her arms around herself, shrugging a little and giving him a sheepish smile. "It's okay if you want to go change-you're soaked."
He smiled. "I don’t, really. I won’t get any wetter staying in here with you-and I’ll be able to strip in the tub when you turn the water off to keep from dripping all over the place. Win-win."
She smiled back at him, letting him help her carefully to her feet. Her teeth were beginning to chatter, so he moved her to stand more directly under the spray of water. "Well, if it's a win-win," she said. She leaned against him with a sigh. "Thank you," she murmured.
"You're welcome." He paused before continuing. "At risk of sounding like a bad porn actor-can I help at all?"
She laughed. "You weren't leering, so you didn't sound like a bad porn actor, but then again, I'm not sure there's such a thing as a good porn actor anyway." She glanced past him and nodded over his shoulder. "Could you grab the shampoo for me?"
He picked up the shampoo bottle and tossed it idly from one hand to the other. "Do you want me to get your hair for you?"
She paused and gave him a small smile. "That-would be really nice."
Tim upended the bottle and squeezed some shampoo into his hand-more than he used for himself. He set the bottle back down again took a step closer to her, smearing the soap onto both hands as he did. He reached up and began to gently massage the shampoo through her hair.
Cissie turned her back to him and dropped her head forward so he could have a better angle. She made a small, happy noise and shut her eyes as he worked his fingers over her scalp. She leaned into his touch, feeling the last of her panic begin to fade away. She exhaled slowly, relaxing. His fingers worked their way behind her ears and when they touched a spot below her right ear, she hissed, tensing involuntarily in sudden pain.
Tim drew back in concern. "What's wrong?" he asked.
Cissie shook her head mutely, reaching up with shaking fingers to gently prod the area behind her ear-it was sore and tender, and she couldn't help wincing again when she found the bump at the base of her skull. "It's nothing," she muttered.
"It's not nothing, Ciss," Tim said, frowning. "I don’t want to hurt you. Did I hit a bump?"
She took a shaky breath and tried to smile back at him. "Just a little one."
He gave her a small, tense smile in return. "Want me to keep going and try to avoid the sore spots? Or did you want to take over?"
She leaned back against him, shaking her head as she ran her fingers over the rest of her head. "It's okay-I think there's only the one spot."
Tim made an unhappy noise, nodding slowly before continuing. "Let me know if I hit another one, okay?"
She nodded. "I'm okay." She didn't say anything more while he finished shampooing and helped her rinse her hair, running his fingers carefully through to prevent tangles. When he was finished, she found her washcloth and he handed her her lavender vanilla body wash. She washed quickly, biting her lip to keep from making noise when the soap stung or she hit an especially tender bruise. When she moved to wash her back, Tim took over. She rinsed the soap off quickly-she was beginning to feel cold, despite the hot water, and her fingers were starting to prune. She turned the water off when she finished, and finally turned to face Tim again, slipping her arms around his waist and pressing her face into his chest. "I am okay," she said, her voice muffled enough to mostly hide the way it shook.
"Hmm," he said noncommittally. He took her towel off the rack and wrapped it around her, carefully to keep from aggravating any of her injuries. "You should dry off-you’ll warm up faster."
She shivered, not entirely from the cold, and nodded against him. She clutched at her towel, wrapping it more securely around herself. Pulling back, she offered him a small smile. "I'll get you a towel so you can change," she offered, stepping out of the tub. She wiped her feet on the bathmat before heading to the closet. She grabbed one of his grey towels and returned, handing it to him.
While Tim stripped out of his soaked clothing, she brushed her hair-carefully, mindful of the bump on the back of her head. She put down the brush as Tim stepped out of the tub, wrapping the towel around his waist. She turned and leaned back against the sink, hugging herself. "Tim?" she asked softly. "Could-would you just-hold me? Just-for a minute?"
Tim wrapped his arms around her again. "As long as you want."
Cissie pressed herself against him, closing her eyes. They stood quietly until she heaved a sigh and squeezed her arms around him. "I'm sorry," she murmured.
"Don't be," he said firmly. "I missed you too…" he closed his eyes and buried his nose in her wet hair. "God, so much."
She pushed her face against his shoulder, exhaling deeply. "I missed you." She pulled back enough to look up at him and touch her forehead to his. "I love you," she whispered.
"Love you too," he said quietly, letting the rest of his breath out in a small sigh as he gently traced his hands up and down her arms.
She offered him a half smile, a shiver running through her. She moved her hands to his waist and leaned in, kissing him. He brought his hands up to her face, tracing her cheekbones with his thumbs and weaving his fingers into the hair at the base of her neck as he returned her kiss. She moved her hands around to his back and pulled him closer before breaking away to catch her breath and smile shakily at him.
"Hey," he said, smiling back and a little breathless.
She laughed softly and kissed him again. "Hey," she repeated.
"How are you feeling?" he asked, tracing her neck gently with his fingertips, careful to avoid the bruising.
"Hmm," she murmured, leaning back into his touch. "Better now." She smiled, looking at him for a quiet moment before moving in to kiss him. She trailed her fingers over his lower back before deepening the kiss. She moved her hands back to his hips and hooked her fingers under the edge of his towel, yanking him closer.
He laughed against her mouth and wrapped his arms around her. Without warning, he bent and swept both legs out from under her and carried her-laughing-into the bedroom, where he deposited her onto the bed. "You, Mrs. Drake," he said with mock seriousness. "Are giving me ideas."
She laughed, reaching up to grab his shoulders and pull him down. "Good," she said emphatically. "Because you, Mr. Drake, have the best ideas."
~*~
Tim watched Cissie as she slept. He knew he should be sleeping, too, but he felt like he’d spent most of the past week sleepwalking, and he wasn’t tired anymore. He frowned at the shadows of bruises he saw on Cissie’s skin. He knew it was wrong-that it was revenge, not justice-but all he wanted to do was map each and every bruise and duplicate them on the bodies of her kidnappers.
As he watched, Cissie began to frown in her sleep, and then to make small, unhappy noises. "Cissie," he said softly. If she was having a nightmare, he wanted to wake her from it. After all she’d been through-she didn’t deserve nightmares as well.
She stirred, grunting slightly. She blinked at him as she woke, frowning. "Tim?"
He smiled faintly. "Hey, Ciss," he murmured.
She continued frowning for a moment, looking at him and then glancing around. "I… was asleep?"
"Yeah," he said softly. "You were dreaming."
"I…" She stopped and shuddered, closing her eyes for a moment. She rolled closer to him, pushing her forehead against his chest. "I was dreaming," she repeated shakily.
He hugged her tightly and smoothed a hand over her hair. "Do you want to talk about it?"
She grunted, curling closer. She wrapped an arm around him and shook her head mutely. After clinging to him for a moment, she exhaled slowly and started speaking anyway. "I-I couldn't move. I couldn't-" she swallowed hard, digging her fingers into his back. Her voice broke. "I couldn't get away. I was trying, and I couldn't and-he was coming. I heard-I could see-" She made another distressed noise. "I couldn't move."
"It was just a dream," he said, kissing the top of her head and hugging her tightly.
"Yeah," she whispered, shuddering again. "I guess."
"I'm sorry," he whispered. He closed his eyes against a wave of unhappiness and began rubbing soothing circles into her back.
"Don't be," she said, her voice muffled. "It's not your fault."
He made an indistinct noise at the back of his throat and continued to rub her back.
She pushed her face against his chest, making a small, distressed noise. She exhaled slowly, trying to relax. "I'm sorry," she mumbled.
He pulled back slightly to look at her. "What? Why?"
She shook her head, clinging to him. "I-I just want to forget it happened," she said softly, not really answering.
"I… wish I could make it go away," Tim muttered, leaning forward to kiss her.
She shifted enough to kiss him back, sighing when they broke apart. She tucked her head under his chin. "Me too," she mumbled. She inhaled deeply. "I don't want to dream about it, but-I don't know how not to. I-I could see him, Tim."
Tim made an unhappy noise and wrapped his arms more tightly around her. "I am so, so sorry."
She sighed again, shaking her head. "Don't-it… It's okay."
"No, it isn't," he said with a faint frown.
Cissie made a small noise, shrugging slightly. "I-no," she said finally. "I guess it's not. I just-" She pushed her face into his neck. "I want it to be. I don't want you to be sorry."
"I'm s-" He stopped short and let out a sharp laugh. "It's just-I wish I could do more to make this better."
She gave a short laugh of her own. "I wish I could, too," she said. She pulled back to look at him, offering a slight smile. "You do make it better, though."
"I don’t feel like I’m making anything better," Tim muttered, setting his jaw in frustration.
She paused, looking closely at him. "You are," she insisted.
He made an indistinct noise at the back of his throat and looked away.
"Hey," she said quietly, reaching up to touch his cheek. "What is it?"
"I just-" he scowled. "I feel useless. They hurt you." He traced his fingertips gently over a bruise. "And I know, it’s wrong, but dammit, all I want to do is copy every single bruise and scrape you have on each of their bodies."
She gave him a small smile. "Thank you," she murmured, leaning into his touch. "Which is probably not the reaction you should get, but-I love you, too." She turned her face to kiss his palm. "And you're not useless," she told him firmly. "You're about as far from useless as it gets."
"You're sweet." He sighed, kissing the top of her head. "And, no, it’s not the reaction I should get. I should get a stern lecture. Or something."
She offered him a small smile. "You could always tell Bruce-I think he likes giving stern lectures."
He grimaced. "My confessional to the Batman. No thank you."
She took his hand in hers, lacing their fingers together. "I am okay, you know."
"Hmm." Tim regarded her thoughtfully. "I'm not so sure. I’m worried about you."
She frowned up at him. "You don't have to be," she said softly. She looked away, dropping her head to his shoulder. "I don't want to worry you," she mumbled.
"You're the love of my life," he said, smiling a little. "I get to worry about you."
She hugged him tightly. "I love you, too." She sighed, pulling back to look at him. "We're kind of a mess, aren't we?" she asked wryly.
He let out a quiet laugh. "A bit, yeah."
"I wish I knew how to make it better."
Tim made a face. "I think time is what does it. I hear that, anyway."
She smiled at him. "Do you, now?"
"Mmm," he said mildly. "Also massive amounts of therapy, but I’ve never done well with that sort of thing."
She laughed. "I think we'll probably manage without the therapy, don't you?"
"Oh, probably. I’ve been working on a system of denial and repression for years."
"And this system-does it work for you?" she asked, teasingly.
"Most days," he said, smiling back. "With the occasional nervous breakdown."
She leaned up to kiss his cheek. "Being why I've been trying to break that system of repression for just as long."
"One of these days, you may even succeed." He turned his face slightly to meet her lips with his own.
She kissed him back; when they broke apart, she touched her forehead to his. "Good." She took a deep breath and kissed him again. "We're going to get through this, Tim," she whispered. She paused. "Right?"
"Definitely," he murmured against her lips, brushing the tip of his nose briefly against hers.
She giggled and wrinkled her nose. "Good. I'm glad." She smiled and pushed at his shoulder until he rolled onto his back. She rolled with him and propped her elbows up on his chest to smile down at him. "I love you."
"Mmm, love you too," he said, smiling lazily up at her. He tucked his hands under his head and leaned up to kiss her.
She kissed him back and traced an idle pattern on his chest with her fingertips. When they broke apart, she smirked slightly. "So. I had a thought."
"I'm breathless with anticipation."
She laughed and folded her arms over his chest, resting her chin on them. "Hmm. Well, we can't speed up time, to help us get through this. And we'd like to avoid therapy, as it doesn't agree with either of us, and I'd like to avoid your strategy of denial and repression, because it tends to backfire-as you admitted." She gave him a slow, playful smile. "But I can think of a different kind of therapy."
"Really?" Tim's smile widened slightly and he moved his hands from behind his head to Cissie’s waist. "And what might that be, my dearest love?" he asked, tracing his thumbs gently over her hips.
She moved to lean over him, straddling his waist. "Let's call it-a kind of physical therapy," she said, grinning.
Tim laughed quietly and shifted his hips upward underneath her. "The more physical the better."
She flattened herself against him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. She leaned in for a long kiss. "I couldn't agree more."
~*~
Authors: lady_sarai, zoe_chan
Continuity: Future AU.
Word Count: Total length: 31,500 This chapter: 4,000
Pairing/Characters: Tim/Cissie, Bruce, Dick, Kon, Bart
Rating/Warnings: Teen for language
Disclaimer: We do not own anything or anyone. We promise.
Note: As stated--this takes place in the future. Bart and Kon are alive (it's very handwavey as to how), Tim and Cissie are married. Tim has given up Robin and become Kestrel.
Summary: Cissie gets kidnapped.
Chapter 8: October 21st
It was late the next day before Cissie was finally discharged and allowed to leave the hospital. Bruce suggested they stay at the Manor for a few days, but both Tim and Cissie just wanted to be home. When Tim parked the car at their apartment building, Cissie breathed a sigh of relief. Making their way into the building, she squeezed his hand and held it tightly all the way up the stairs to their third floor apartment. She spent the entire walk up hoping that none of their neighbors would hear them-it wasn't that she didn't want to see them, but she just wanted to be home-she didn't want to deal with any more people.
They made it into the apartment without incident, and Tim shut and bolted the door behind them. He turned back to Cissie with a wry smile. "No company."
Cissie sighed and returned the smile. "Good," she replied feelingly. She reached out a hand and caught his arm, pulling him closer. She wrapped her arms around his chest and dropped her forehead to his shoulder. "It's good to be home," she murmured.
"It's good to have you home," Tim said, pulling her tightly against him.
"Hmm," she murmured, burrowing closer to him. She turned her face into his neck and just breathed, feeling safe for the first time in days. She swallowed past the lump in her throat and sighed heavily.
Tim smoothed her hair down her back, trying not to think about the past week. "Are you hungry?" he asked finally. "Bart said that Rosa came by with a lasagna."
"Did she? That was nice of her." Cissie didn't move except to shrug slightly. "I'm not really all that hungry," she admitted. "But we should probably eat at some point."
"Probably," he said with a faint smile. "But it will take an hour to heat in the oven, so-if I start it now, maybe we’ll be hungry when it’s finished?"
"Maybe." She sighed again, unwilling to break the hug quite yet. "And-I do want a shower sometime soon," she admitted. She gave a dry laugh. "A sponge bath is just not the same."
He grimaced. "No. Did you… want to do that now?" Tim was equally reluctant to break the hug, but he wanted to be sure that Cissie was happy and comfortable. "I can put in the lasagna, then come in and keep you company."
Cissie sighed again and tightened her arms around him. "That's not a bad idea," she said reluctantly. She pulled back just far enough to look up at him. "I don't want to move," she admitted wryly, "but a shower sounds really good."
He smiled. "Go take your shower, beautiful. I’ll be in in a few minutes. And maybe we can cuddle up on the couch and watch a movie afterwards, how’s that sound?"
"It sounds perfect," she replied, leaning up to kiss him. "Love you."
"Love you, too." He watched as Cissie made her way down the hall to the bathroom, then turned to the oven, setting it to preheat. When the light had clicked off, he pulled the lasagna from the freezer and put it in the oven with the foil still on top to keep from burning the cheese. He set the timer for an hour, then left the kitchen to go find Cissie.
~*~
Cissie grabbed a set of towels from the linen closet, pausing for a moment to just look around and be happy to be home. She buried her nose in the towels, breathing in the smell of clean laundry before turning on the shower. She brushed her teeth while she waited for the water to heat up. It felt so good to be able to use her toothpaste, her toothbrush, at her sink, in her home. When she finished, she rinsed her toothbrush and put it away, glancing up at the mirror. She froze, her stomach sinking. She'd known she probably didn't look great after-everything, but she hadn't expected this. Bruises-along her jaw, her cheekbone. She turned her head to get a better look at one near her ear, and stopped when she realized that it wasn't a shadow she was looking at on her neck.
She shuddered and turned away from the mirror to check the water. She undressed and climbed in, exhaling slowly as the warm water hit her. Cissie stood under the spray for a minute. The water washed over her, but she barely felt it. She raised her hands and stared at her wrists, chafed raw from the ropes they'd been tied with. Her throat closed up and her chest felt tight-she couldn't breathe. She leaned forward, pressing her forehead to the shower wall. The water pounded on her back and she pressed her hands over her mouth, as if doing so would help hold the panic back.
Tim opened the door to the bathroom and let himself in. "Hey Cissie," he called over the rush of the water.
She tried to pull herself together, to find her voice so she could answer him, but couldn't seem to remove her hands from her mouth. She made an incoherent noise in her throat instead, curling in on herself.
"Cissie?" he called again, his voice raising slightly in alarm. "Are you okay?"
She forced herself to move her hands from her mouth, barely managing to choke out his name before she burst into tears and her legs gave out beneath her, forcing her to slide down the shower wall.
Without any further thought, Tim shoved open the shower curtain and climbed into the shower with her, heedless of the fact that he was still completely clothed. He sat down beside her on the floor of the bathtub and put his arms around her.
Cissie clutched at him, burying her face in his shirt. She gasped, trying to calm down. "I'm sorry," she choked out. "I can't-sorry-can't breathe."
"It's okay," Tim said soothingly. "Just… take it slowly."
Cissie shook her head against him, dragging in fast, shallow breaths. " I can't-I don't-don't know how-" Her voice trailed off, dissolving into a desperate whine. She unclenched her fingers from his shirt and pressed her hand against his shoulder, making another distressed noise. She hit his shoulder again feebly, shaking her head. Her skin crawled, her chest was tight, her stomach churned. "I don’t know why-I don't know-what to do," she managed, shuddering.
"It's okay," Tim said again. "Can you breathe with me? Breathe in, Cissie. Big breath. It’s okay." He took a deep breath and watched Cissie for signs that she was following suit.
She dragged in a shuddering breath, letting it out with him. She followed his cues for several deep breaths, focusing on his voice and his chest moving under her as he breathed. She shook her head again, asking weakly, "What's wrong with me?"
"Nothing's wrong with you," he said quietly, pulling her a little closer. "You've been through a lot over the past week, and the drugs they gave you can have this effect on people. It’s not you."
Cissie exhaled slowly before dragging in another long, deep breath. She opened her eyes and stared at Tim's dark blue shirt before speaking. "I don't know why, I just-panicked. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't-stop." She shivered convulsively, despite the warm water still falling over them.
"Shh, it’s okay," he murmured, chafing her skin lightly to warm her. "It's not your fault."
She burrowed closer to him, still shivering but beginning to breathe more easily. She turned her head to rest her ear against him to better feel the rise and fall of his chest. Once she was calmer, she frowned slightly and pushed away just enough to look at him. She picked at his shirt, looking him over. "You're… dressed."
"Yes," he said ruefully, glancing down at his clothes. "And wet."
She made a face, dropping her head back to his shoulder. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be," he said, smiling lightly. "It's not often I get to play knight in shining armor to my lovely wife."
Cissie managed a small smile, hugging him. "You're always my knight in shining armor," she said softly-her voice only shook a little as she shivered. The water was warm, but the air was cool on her wet skin.
Tim pulled away slightly. "You should finish up your shower, sweetheart. Do you want me to stay?"
She hesitated, pulling back to sit on her heels. She wrapped her arms around herself, shrugging a little and giving him a sheepish smile. "It's okay if you want to go change-you're soaked."
He smiled. "I don’t, really. I won’t get any wetter staying in here with you-and I’ll be able to strip in the tub when you turn the water off to keep from dripping all over the place. Win-win."
She smiled back at him, letting him help her carefully to her feet. Her teeth were beginning to chatter, so he moved her to stand more directly under the spray of water. "Well, if it's a win-win," she said. She leaned against him with a sigh. "Thank you," she murmured.
"You're welcome." He paused before continuing. "At risk of sounding like a bad porn actor-can I help at all?"
She laughed. "You weren't leering, so you didn't sound like a bad porn actor, but then again, I'm not sure there's such a thing as a good porn actor anyway." She glanced past him and nodded over his shoulder. "Could you grab the shampoo for me?"
He picked up the shampoo bottle and tossed it idly from one hand to the other. "Do you want me to get your hair for you?"
She paused and gave him a small smile. "That-would be really nice."
Tim upended the bottle and squeezed some shampoo into his hand-more than he used for himself. He set the bottle back down again took a step closer to her, smearing the soap onto both hands as he did. He reached up and began to gently massage the shampoo through her hair.
Cissie turned her back to him and dropped her head forward so he could have a better angle. She made a small, happy noise and shut her eyes as he worked his fingers over her scalp. She leaned into his touch, feeling the last of her panic begin to fade away. She exhaled slowly, relaxing. His fingers worked their way behind her ears and when they touched a spot below her right ear, she hissed, tensing involuntarily in sudden pain.
Tim drew back in concern. "What's wrong?" he asked.
Cissie shook her head mutely, reaching up with shaking fingers to gently prod the area behind her ear-it was sore and tender, and she couldn't help wincing again when she found the bump at the base of her skull. "It's nothing," she muttered.
"It's not nothing, Ciss," Tim said, frowning. "I don’t want to hurt you. Did I hit a bump?"
She took a shaky breath and tried to smile back at him. "Just a little one."
He gave her a small, tense smile in return. "Want me to keep going and try to avoid the sore spots? Or did you want to take over?"
She leaned back against him, shaking her head as she ran her fingers over the rest of her head. "It's okay-I think there's only the one spot."
Tim made an unhappy noise, nodding slowly before continuing. "Let me know if I hit another one, okay?"
She nodded. "I'm okay." She didn't say anything more while he finished shampooing and helped her rinse her hair, running his fingers carefully through to prevent tangles. When he was finished, she found her washcloth and he handed her her lavender vanilla body wash. She washed quickly, biting her lip to keep from making noise when the soap stung or she hit an especially tender bruise. When she moved to wash her back, Tim took over. She rinsed the soap off quickly-she was beginning to feel cold, despite the hot water, and her fingers were starting to prune. She turned the water off when she finished, and finally turned to face Tim again, slipping her arms around his waist and pressing her face into his chest. "I am okay," she said, her voice muffled enough to mostly hide the way it shook.
"Hmm," he said noncommittally. He took her towel off the rack and wrapped it around her, carefully to keep from aggravating any of her injuries. "You should dry off-you’ll warm up faster."
She shivered, not entirely from the cold, and nodded against him. She clutched at her towel, wrapping it more securely around herself. Pulling back, she offered him a small smile. "I'll get you a towel so you can change," she offered, stepping out of the tub. She wiped her feet on the bathmat before heading to the closet. She grabbed one of his grey towels and returned, handing it to him.
While Tim stripped out of his soaked clothing, she brushed her hair-carefully, mindful of the bump on the back of her head. She put down the brush as Tim stepped out of the tub, wrapping the towel around his waist. She turned and leaned back against the sink, hugging herself. "Tim?" she asked softly. "Could-would you just-hold me? Just-for a minute?"
Tim wrapped his arms around her again. "As long as you want."
Cissie pressed herself against him, closing her eyes. They stood quietly until she heaved a sigh and squeezed her arms around him. "I'm sorry," she murmured.
"Don't be," he said firmly. "I missed you too…" he closed his eyes and buried his nose in her wet hair. "God, so much."
She pushed her face against his shoulder, exhaling deeply. "I missed you." She pulled back enough to look up at him and touch her forehead to his. "I love you," she whispered.
"Love you too," he said quietly, letting the rest of his breath out in a small sigh as he gently traced his hands up and down her arms.
She offered him a half smile, a shiver running through her. She moved her hands to his waist and leaned in, kissing him. He brought his hands up to her face, tracing her cheekbones with his thumbs and weaving his fingers into the hair at the base of her neck as he returned her kiss. She moved her hands around to his back and pulled him closer before breaking away to catch her breath and smile shakily at him.
"Hey," he said, smiling back and a little breathless.
She laughed softly and kissed him again. "Hey," she repeated.
"How are you feeling?" he asked, tracing her neck gently with his fingertips, careful to avoid the bruising.
"Hmm," she murmured, leaning back into his touch. "Better now." She smiled, looking at him for a quiet moment before moving in to kiss him. She trailed her fingers over his lower back before deepening the kiss. She moved her hands back to his hips and hooked her fingers under the edge of his towel, yanking him closer.
He laughed against her mouth and wrapped his arms around her. Without warning, he bent and swept both legs out from under her and carried her-laughing-into the bedroom, where he deposited her onto the bed. "You, Mrs. Drake," he said with mock seriousness. "Are giving me ideas."
She laughed, reaching up to grab his shoulders and pull him down. "Good," she said emphatically. "Because you, Mr. Drake, have the best ideas."
~*~
Tim watched Cissie as she slept. He knew he should be sleeping, too, but he felt like he’d spent most of the past week sleepwalking, and he wasn’t tired anymore. He frowned at the shadows of bruises he saw on Cissie’s skin. He knew it was wrong-that it was revenge, not justice-but all he wanted to do was map each and every bruise and duplicate them on the bodies of her kidnappers.
As he watched, Cissie began to frown in her sleep, and then to make small, unhappy noises. "Cissie," he said softly. If she was having a nightmare, he wanted to wake her from it. After all she’d been through-she didn’t deserve nightmares as well.
She stirred, grunting slightly. She blinked at him as she woke, frowning. "Tim?"
He smiled faintly. "Hey, Ciss," he murmured.
She continued frowning for a moment, looking at him and then glancing around. "I… was asleep?"
"Yeah," he said softly. "You were dreaming."
"I…" She stopped and shuddered, closing her eyes for a moment. She rolled closer to him, pushing her forehead against his chest. "I was dreaming," she repeated shakily.
He hugged her tightly and smoothed a hand over her hair. "Do you want to talk about it?"
She grunted, curling closer. She wrapped an arm around him and shook her head mutely. After clinging to him for a moment, she exhaled slowly and started speaking anyway. "I-I couldn't move. I couldn't-" she swallowed hard, digging her fingers into his back. Her voice broke. "I couldn't get away. I was trying, and I couldn't and-he was coming. I heard-I could see-" She made another distressed noise. "I couldn't move."
"It was just a dream," he said, kissing the top of her head and hugging her tightly.
"Yeah," she whispered, shuddering again. "I guess."
"I'm sorry," he whispered. He closed his eyes against a wave of unhappiness and began rubbing soothing circles into her back.
"Don't be," she said, her voice muffled. "It's not your fault."
He made an indistinct noise at the back of his throat and continued to rub her back.
She pushed her face against his chest, making a small, distressed noise. She exhaled slowly, trying to relax. "I'm sorry," she mumbled.
He pulled back slightly to look at her. "What? Why?"
She shook her head, clinging to him. "I-I just want to forget it happened," she said softly, not really answering.
"I… wish I could make it go away," Tim muttered, leaning forward to kiss her.
She shifted enough to kiss him back, sighing when they broke apart. She tucked her head under his chin. "Me too," she mumbled. She inhaled deeply. "I don't want to dream about it, but-I don't know how not to. I-I could see him, Tim."
Tim made an unhappy noise and wrapped his arms more tightly around her. "I am so, so sorry."
She sighed again, shaking her head. "Don't-it… It's okay."
"No, it isn't," he said with a faint frown.
Cissie made a small noise, shrugging slightly. "I-no," she said finally. "I guess it's not. I just-" She pushed her face into his neck. "I want it to be. I don't want you to be sorry."
"I'm s-" He stopped short and let out a sharp laugh. "It's just-I wish I could do more to make this better."
She gave a short laugh of her own. "I wish I could, too," she said. She pulled back to look at him, offering a slight smile. "You do make it better, though."
"I don’t feel like I’m making anything better," Tim muttered, setting his jaw in frustration.
She paused, looking closely at him. "You are," she insisted.
He made an indistinct noise at the back of his throat and looked away.
"Hey," she said quietly, reaching up to touch his cheek. "What is it?"
"I just-" he scowled. "I feel useless. They hurt you." He traced his fingertips gently over a bruise. "And I know, it’s wrong, but dammit, all I want to do is copy every single bruise and scrape you have on each of their bodies."
She gave him a small smile. "Thank you," she murmured, leaning into his touch. "Which is probably not the reaction you should get, but-I love you, too." She turned her face to kiss his palm. "And you're not useless," she told him firmly. "You're about as far from useless as it gets."
"You're sweet." He sighed, kissing the top of her head. "And, no, it’s not the reaction I should get. I should get a stern lecture. Or something."
She offered him a small smile. "You could always tell Bruce-I think he likes giving stern lectures."
He grimaced. "My confessional to the Batman. No thank you."
She took his hand in hers, lacing their fingers together. "I am okay, you know."
"Hmm." Tim regarded her thoughtfully. "I'm not so sure. I’m worried about you."
She frowned up at him. "You don't have to be," she said softly. She looked away, dropping her head to his shoulder. "I don't want to worry you," she mumbled.
"You're the love of my life," he said, smiling a little. "I get to worry about you."
She hugged him tightly. "I love you, too." She sighed, pulling back to look at him. "We're kind of a mess, aren't we?" she asked wryly.
He let out a quiet laugh. "A bit, yeah."
"I wish I knew how to make it better."
Tim made a face. "I think time is what does it. I hear that, anyway."
She smiled at him. "Do you, now?"
"Mmm," he said mildly. "Also massive amounts of therapy, but I’ve never done well with that sort of thing."
She laughed. "I think we'll probably manage without the therapy, don't you?"
"Oh, probably. I’ve been working on a system of denial and repression for years."
"And this system-does it work for you?" she asked, teasingly.
"Most days," he said, smiling back. "With the occasional nervous breakdown."
She leaned up to kiss his cheek. "Being why I've been trying to break that system of repression for just as long."
"One of these days, you may even succeed." He turned his face slightly to meet her lips with his own.
She kissed him back; when they broke apart, she touched her forehead to his. "Good." She took a deep breath and kissed him again. "We're going to get through this, Tim," she whispered. She paused. "Right?"
"Definitely," he murmured against her lips, brushing the tip of his nose briefly against hers.
She giggled and wrinkled her nose. "Good. I'm glad." She smiled and pushed at his shoulder until he rolled onto his back. She rolled with him and propped her elbows up on his chest to smile down at him. "I love you."
"Mmm, love you too," he said, smiling lazily up at her. He tucked his hands under his head and leaned up to kiss her.
She kissed him back and traced an idle pattern on his chest with her fingertips. When they broke apart, she smirked slightly. "So. I had a thought."
"I'm breathless with anticipation."
She laughed and folded her arms over his chest, resting her chin on them. "Hmm. Well, we can't speed up time, to help us get through this. And we'd like to avoid therapy, as it doesn't agree with either of us, and I'd like to avoid your strategy of denial and repression, because it tends to backfire-as you admitted." She gave him a slow, playful smile. "But I can think of a different kind of therapy."
"Really?" Tim's smile widened slightly and he moved his hands from behind his head to Cissie’s waist. "And what might that be, my dearest love?" he asked, tracing his thumbs gently over her hips.
She moved to lean over him, straddling his waist. "Let's call it-a kind of physical therapy," she said, grinning.
Tim laughed quietly and shifted his hips upward underneath her. "The more physical the better."
She flattened herself against him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. She leaned in for a long kiss. "I couldn't agree more."
~*~