[fic] #55 Shatter Kangin/Kangin
Title: 055. Shatter
Rating: PG
Pairing: Kangin/Kangin (KangTeuk, Teukie/Teukie, KangTeuk/YoungSu (?), and another OT4 that will mess with your mind...again.)
Archive: 19/100
Notes: Kangin is reborn, but as twins. Incest. Sequel to Calender. Part of the OT4 series. My fics have been really dark as of late. I'm starting to wonder if I'm depressed about something...
You are reborn as twins, Kangin and Youngwoon, two halves of one whole. You always did think that being two people would be kinda fun. And it is. You play and you grow up with the same family, the same friends and ultimately, the same lovers because of some screwed up Christmas holiday away from home.
You love each other, of course. You are brothers and family, but it becomes more than tha after you meet Eeteuk and Jungsu who show you a love that you didn't know existed. But being what you are and who you are is something that shouldn't have been forgotten the day you forget yourself and share a kiss that makes you the most hated people on campus because you're sick and disgusting and an abomination.
You've always been strong and you know that the love you share with yourself and Eeteuk and Jungsu is worth it all. But words still hurt as much as they should and it's a group decision when you all decided to leave and transfer to another college. You have similar majors and Eetuek and Jungsu are involved in dancing and drama and singing and music, just like you, so it's not a challenge to get into the same university. Besides, you had Eeteuk and Eeteuk could talk himself into and out of anything; he sure did it to you.
You never regret it, the day the four of you move into a big apartment. It has two bedrooms, but one isn't used because none of you like to sleep without each other. You all share chores and somehow the house is kept clean despite the fact that none of you actually like cleaning. You take care of the food because both Jungsu and Eeteuk are horrible cooks and they seem to love your Kimchee soup and don't complain about having it whenever you can't afford takeout. It's domestic and you're happy because you have them and they have you and you have you.
But it is foolish to think that it could last forever. Family finds out and neighbors that couldn't mind their own business and the persecutions begin again. You thought that you could deal with it. But you are wrong. Too many fights breaks you and shatters your life into four different pieces and in four different places, far from the comfort of each other's arms and the safety and stability of those you'd come to rely on. Even though you've prided yourself on your independence, being separated from you and Eeteuk and Jungsu is almost too much to bear.
You, Kangin, meet Jongwoon and Yehsung first, two months after you ripped yourself apart. They are nothing like each other and nothing like you, but still there is a connection because they are twins just like you are twined. You tend to get along with Jongwoon more, because Jongwoon is cool and Yehsung is weird and you strangely think with a heart full of wrenching pain that Eeteuk and Yehsung would be good friends. The pain is made much worse when you finally get close enough to Jongwoon and Yehsung to be let in on their secret.
It's a visit to their apartment that spills the beans. Quite literally since the small boy you are introduced to as Ryeowook trips over himself and drops his lunch consisting of chili and some other substance that looks like something that Jungsu cooked up. Their arrangement reminds you much of your own and you think of how Jongwoon and Yehsung could be so completely opposite of you and yet share all the things that you once had. You see in Ryeowook and Kyuhyun parts of Jungsu and Eeteuk. Kyuhyun is responsible and mature, despite him being the youngest of the four and pure innocence is reflected in Ryeowook's shy glance.
It's so familiar and perfect and right that you are brought to tears and they ask you what's wrong and you can't tell them because it still hurts and god how could you be so stupid?
You call yourself, the phone number so easily remembered even after months of disuse and it rings only twice before you answer. You know that something is wrong because it's you and you can hear the tears in your voice and you instantly think that something has happened because there was no way you would ring you when you're in the middle of a fight unless it's life-threatening.
And it is life-threatening, because you're crying and just that fact is like facing the end of the world. You don't cry, it's not like you, but you realize that without you, you can't be strong and it takes only a few words and apologies to bring both of you to a tearful compromise that really just means that you're tired of this life and there is no way that you can ever be apart for long.
But even though this bond between you is mended, it's by no way fully healed.
Because your soul isn't made of just two pieces anymore. It's made of four and you need them to make you whole.
Rating: PG
Pairing: Kangin/Kangin (KangTeuk, Teukie/Teukie, KangTeuk/YoungSu (?), and another OT4 that will mess with your mind...again.)
Archive: 19/100
Notes: Kangin is reborn, but as twins. Incest. Sequel to Calender. Part of the OT4 series. My fics have been really dark as of late. I'm starting to wonder if I'm depressed about something...
You are reborn as twins, Kangin and Youngwoon, two halves of one whole. You always did think that being two people would be kinda fun. And it is. You play and you grow up with the same family, the same friends and ultimately, the same lovers because of some screwed up Christmas holiday away from home.
You love each other, of course. You are brothers and family, but it becomes more than tha after you meet Eeteuk and Jungsu who show you a love that you didn't know existed. But being what you are and who you are is something that shouldn't have been forgotten the day you forget yourself and share a kiss that makes you the most hated people on campus because you're sick and disgusting and an abomination.
You've always been strong and you know that the love you share with yourself and Eeteuk and Jungsu is worth it all. But words still hurt as much as they should and it's a group decision when you all decided to leave and transfer to another college. You have similar majors and Eetuek and Jungsu are involved in dancing and drama and singing and music, just like you, so it's not a challenge to get into the same university. Besides, you had Eeteuk and Eeteuk could talk himself into and out of anything; he sure did it to you.
You never regret it, the day the four of you move into a big apartment. It has two bedrooms, but one isn't used because none of you like to sleep without each other. You all share chores and somehow the house is kept clean despite the fact that none of you actually like cleaning. You take care of the food because both Jungsu and Eeteuk are horrible cooks and they seem to love your Kimchee soup and don't complain about having it whenever you can't afford takeout. It's domestic and you're happy because you have them and they have you and you have you.
But it is foolish to think that it could last forever. Family finds out and neighbors that couldn't mind their own business and the persecutions begin again. You thought that you could deal with it. But you are wrong. Too many fights breaks you and shatters your life into four different pieces and in four different places, far from the comfort of each other's arms and the safety and stability of those you'd come to rely on. Even though you've prided yourself on your independence, being separated from you and Eeteuk and Jungsu is almost too much to bear.
You, Kangin, meet Jongwoon and Yehsung first, two months after you ripped yourself apart. They are nothing like each other and nothing like you, but still there is a connection because they are twins just like you are twined. You tend to get along with Jongwoon more, because Jongwoon is cool and Yehsung is weird and you strangely think with a heart full of wrenching pain that Eeteuk and Yehsung would be good friends. The pain is made much worse when you finally get close enough to Jongwoon and Yehsung to be let in on their secret.
It's a visit to their apartment that spills the beans. Quite literally since the small boy you are introduced to as Ryeowook trips over himself and drops his lunch consisting of chili and some other substance that looks like something that Jungsu cooked up. Their arrangement reminds you much of your own and you think of how Jongwoon and Yehsung could be so completely opposite of you and yet share all the things that you once had. You see in Ryeowook and Kyuhyun parts of Jungsu and Eeteuk. Kyuhyun is responsible and mature, despite him being the youngest of the four and pure innocence is reflected in Ryeowook's shy glance.
It's so familiar and perfect and right that you are brought to tears and they ask you what's wrong and you can't tell them because it still hurts and god how could you be so stupid?
You call yourself, the phone number so easily remembered even after months of disuse and it rings only twice before you answer. You know that something is wrong because it's you and you can hear the tears in your voice and you instantly think that something has happened because there was no way you would ring you when you're in the middle of a fight unless it's life-threatening.
And it is life-threatening, because you're crying and just that fact is like facing the end of the world. You don't cry, it's not like you, but you realize that without you, you can't be strong and it takes only a few words and apologies to bring both of you to a tearful compromise that really just means that you're tired of this life and there is no way that you can ever be apart for long.
But even though this bond between you is mended, it's by no way fully healed.
Because your soul isn't made of just two pieces anymore. It's made of four and you need them to make you whole.