[fic] Family - Super Junior
Title: Family
Pairing: Band!fic
Rating: pg
Summary: Sungmin should never be allowed to read fanfic.
"I am confused," Sungmin said, sitting down at the breakfast table with the rest of Super Junior. Some showed interest, others continued to eat their meals, and some were falling asleep in their cereal bowls.
"What are you confused about?" Ryeowook questioned politely.
"Well, I was up last night reading some of those fanfic things they have on the cafe..."
"You know those things are shit, Sungmin," Yehsung injected woefully, still traumatized by the fact that his fans wanted him to kiss another man.
"...And I was wondering about out family dynamics." Sungmin continued over Yehsung's protests. "I mean, if we're all related like how the fans seem to think we're related, then we're one fucked up family."
"Sungmin, language." Eeteuk scolded halfheartedly, still half asleep behind his face mask.
"I am not part of this conversation." Kyuhyun picked up his bowl and headed toward the sink.
Donghae perked up at the word 'family'. "What am I in the family?" Donghae rocked back and forth on his chair. "The cool uncle? The dashing older brother?"
"More like the mentally unstable brother." Eunhyuk let out an 'oof!' as Donghae elbowed him hard in the side.
"Well, we're all brothers." Sungmin said. "But we're dating each other. So does this mean we're incestuous?'
"I thought in fanfic you were a sister?" Shindong interjected with a shrug. "Ryeowook is a sister too."
"What about Heechul-hyung? Or should I say Heechul-noona?" A spoon hit Kangin straight in the face. "Yah! You little--"
"Kangin, sit. Heechul, go get napkins. You've made a mess." Eeteuk pulled Kangin back into his seat.
"Make Shiwon go get napkins. He's standing already."
"Don't make other people do your--"
"Don't worry about it, Teukie-hyung, I'll get it."
By this time Sungmin was already drawing out a family tree on his place mat while Ryeowook looked on with interest. "See, Eeteukie's the mother right? And then Kangin's supposed to be the father." He drew little stick figures to represent them and an equal sign to show their relationship to each other. "And then we're their children." He drew thirteen heads under them and a name beneith each.
"But would Heechul-hyung really count as a child? I mean, he's so ol--um, more mature than the rest of us," Eunhyuk ammended when he saw Heechul pick up a fork.
"Make him Teukie-hyung's sister!" Kangin ducked, a piece of kimchi flying over his head.
"Heechul. Stop." Another piece of kimchi went flying. "Don't play with your food. And don't make a mess."
"Okay, so if Heechul-hyung is Eeteuk-umma's sis-er...brother, then I think Shindong should be Kangin's brother."
"What about Hankyung?" Shiwon piped up, picking up the kimchi with the napkins he'd gotten from the kitchen. "He's also the same age as Teukie-hyung and Heechul-hyung."
"Well, the fans seem to think Heechul is married to Hankyung."
"No, they think he's married to Shiwon."
"So they're having an incestuous threeway?"
"KRY is having an incestuous threeway."
"So what does that make Super Junior T?"
"Oh god, are you guys still talking about this?" Kyuhyun moaned as he entered the dining area sans bowl. "Sungmin, drop it."
"Yah, that's not a good way to talk to your hyung."
Kyuhyun grabbed the place mat and tore it in half. "Look, the fans think we're having a great big orgy and are fucking like bunnies."
There is dead silence for a second before Sungmin nods. "You know what? That doesn't sound like a bad idea to me."
There is a collective groan and someone spills milk all over Sungmin for the suggestion (the current suspect is Kyuhyun).
Pairing: Band!fic
Rating: pg
Summary: Sungmin should never be allowed to read fanfic.
"I am confused," Sungmin said, sitting down at the breakfast table with the rest of Super Junior. Some showed interest, others continued to eat their meals, and some were falling asleep in their cereal bowls.
"What are you confused about?" Ryeowook questioned politely.
"Well, I was up last night reading some of those fanfic things they have on the cafe..."
"You know those things are shit, Sungmin," Yehsung injected woefully, still traumatized by the fact that his fans wanted him to kiss another man.
"...And I was wondering about out family dynamics." Sungmin continued over Yehsung's protests. "I mean, if we're all related like how the fans seem to think we're related, then we're one fucked up family."
"Sungmin, language." Eeteuk scolded halfheartedly, still half asleep behind his face mask.
"I am not part of this conversation." Kyuhyun picked up his bowl and headed toward the sink.
Donghae perked up at the word 'family'. "What am I in the family?" Donghae rocked back and forth on his chair. "The cool uncle? The dashing older brother?"
"More like the mentally unstable brother." Eunhyuk let out an 'oof!' as Donghae elbowed him hard in the side.
"Well, we're all brothers." Sungmin said. "But we're dating each other. So does this mean we're incestuous?'
"I thought in fanfic you were a sister?" Shindong interjected with a shrug. "Ryeowook is a sister too."
"What about Heechul-hyung? Or should I say Heechul-noona?" A spoon hit Kangin straight in the face. "Yah! You little--"
"Kangin, sit. Heechul, go get napkins. You've made a mess." Eeteuk pulled Kangin back into his seat.
"Make Shiwon go get napkins. He's standing already."
"Don't make other people do your--"
"Don't worry about it, Teukie-hyung, I'll get it."
By this time Sungmin was already drawing out a family tree on his place mat while Ryeowook looked on with interest. "See, Eeteukie's the mother right? And then Kangin's supposed to be the father." He drew little stick figures to represent them and an equal sign to show their relationship to each other. "And then we're their children." He drew thirteen heads under them and a name beneith each.
"But would Heechul-hyung really count as a child? I mean, he's so ol--um, more mature than the rest of us," Eunhyuk ammended when he saw Heechul pick up a fork.
"Make him Teukie-hyung's sister!" Kangin ducked, a piece of kimchi flying over his head.
"Heechul. Stop." Another piece of kimchi went flying. "Don't play with your food. And don't make a mess."
"Okay, so if Heechul-hyung is Eeteuk-umma's sis-er...brother, then I think Shindong should be Kangin's brother."
"What about Hankyung?" Shiwon piped up, picking up the kimchi with the napkins he'd gotten from the kitchen. "He's also the same age as Teukie-hyung and Heechul-hyung."
"Well, the fans seem to think Heechul is married to Hankyung."
"No, they think he's married to Shiwon."
"So they're having an incestuous threeway?"
"KRY is having an incestuous threeway."
"So what does that make Super Junior T?"
"Oh god, are you guys still talking about this?" Kyuhyun moaned as he entered the dining area sans bowl. "Sungmin, drop it."
"Yah, that's not a good way to talk to your hyung."
Kyuhyun grabbed the place mat and tore it in half. "Look, the fans think we're having a great big orgy and are fucking like bunnies."
There is dead silence for a second before Sungmin nods. "You know what? That doesn't sound like a bad idea to me."
There is a collective groan and someone spills milk all over Sungmin for the suggestion (the current suspect is Kyuhyun).