DnD Quotes
So I was bored and on Facebook 5 minutes ago and realized I never cross-posted this. So I thought I'd fix that, because most of these still make me giggle.
"Dropping an old man is a free action."
"Dude, you're standing in the girl you just slept with."
"I do not fear pain, Mistress."
"We were pissed when you kept dodging the coat hanger."
"The booze failed its attack against the halfling."
"One must have patience if one is to carve the ice."
"It's a tiny nail." "Like for a tiny Jesus?"
"Was I streetwise looking for nice boobs?"
"So you have the body tied to the back of the bard's horse. In plain sight."
"No, wait, who has a cloak? We'll cover him up!"
"...Now you have a body tied to the back of a horse with a cloak over him."
"It's okay, we're adventurers! We'll just say we're looking for someone to rez him!"
"You left him outside in front of the Healer's. And there's no rez magic, remember?"
"Oh, shit..."
"So unless they disappeared and turned the rest of the people into beds...?"
"So if we're going to set anyone on fire with the dead wolf, it should be..."
"I'm racing a bottle of whiskey to sleep. Does it get empty or do I pass out first?"
"Looks like you got a fat ol' target on your dick, sir."
"I know I found the clitoris. I touched it. She liked it. Am I gonna get the cancer?"
"Yeah, well, you know what you get when you hire a werewolf."
"...Yeah, affirmative action has never sucked so hard."
"...tumor as big as a housecat."
"Fuck decorum."
"Dropping an old man is a free action."
"Dude, you're standing in the girl you just slept with."
"I do not fear pain, Mistress."
"We were pissed when you kept dodging the coat hanger."
"The booze failed its attack against the halfling."
"One must have patience if one is to carve the ice."
"It's a tiny nail." "Like for a tiny Jesus?"
"Was I streetwise looking for nice boobs?"
"So you have the body tied to the back of the bard's horse. In plain sight."
"No, wait, who has a cloak? We'll cover him up!"
"...Now you have a body tied to the back of a horse with a cloak over him."
"It's okay, we're adventurers! We'll just say we're looking for someone to rez him!"
"You left him outside in front of the Healer's. And there's no rez magic, remember?"
"Oh, shit..."
"So unless they disappeared and turned the rest of the people into beds...?"
"So if we're going to set anyone on fire with the dead wolf, it should be..."
"I'm racing a bottle of whiskey to sleep. Does it get empty or do I pass out first?"
"Looks like you got a fat ol' target on your dick, sir."
"I know I found the clitoris. I touched it. She liked it. Am I gonna get the cancer?"
"Yeah, well, you know what you get when you hire a werewolf."
"...Yeah, affirmative action has never sucked so hard."
"...tumor as big as a housecat."
"Fuck decorum."