THE REAPP SAGA
Character Name: Madara (a.k.a. Nyanko-sensei)
Series: Natsume Yuujinchou (Natsume's Book of Friends)
Character Age: Immortal, probably in the hundreds.
Job: Good Life Choices Adviser
Canon: What do you do when your grandmother leaves you a book of spirits' names, which you're told allows you to control or even kill them? If you're a nice boy like Natsume Takashi, you go on a personal quest to give them back one by one, getting into various mishaps and adventures along the way. Unfortunately, Natsume's spiritual power is often mistaken for his grandmother's by said spirits, not all of whom are friendly. Even worse, some of the more powerful ones want to steal the Book for themselves, and they're not above trying to eat or hurt Natsume to get it. While he's strong, he certainly can't fend off all their attentions by himself.
Which is where Madara comes in! Though he's the first spirit in the series shown wanting to steal the Book, he agrees to make a deal with Natsume instead. He promises to protect Natsume; in exchange, he gets whatever is left of the Book of Friends if Natsume dies. He usually takes the form of a fat, rotund cat nicknamed Nyanko-sensei, and at first glance appears to be the worst guardian ever. He's lazy, loves to eat and steal food, particularly seafood, and can barely go a week without getting hilariously stinking drunk. He's very selfish, self-centered and arrogant, though he can easily be distracted from a rant about how weak humans are by food or cat toys. He is not made completely of comic failure, though; his true form is an elegant, powerful spirit who can give Natsume guidance and advice, and his cranky behavior conceals a soft spot for humans and a tendency to defend the weak.
Sample Post:
The person in charge here is clearly a very bad farmer indeed, planting undead in with all his corn. And do you know why? The rotting flesh ruins the flavor of the whiskey that you make with it later! I bet I could do a much better job than any silly human with his silly and befouled crops, nyanyan. He should use better fertilizer than you! No wonder he called in the great and wonderful Nyanko-sensei to help him in the managing of this forsaken farm; even if I know absolutely nothing about plants at all, he clearly needs all the help he can get! There is no way this place or its denizens can get any worse or any smellier than has already been managed!
Yes, I am talking to you, stupid shambling zombie things. Even if you have no ears left at all, this spirit's magnificent voice should neverthless penetrate into the sad remnants of your skulls! Can you hear me now? Raise a hand or some kind of limb if you want to say yes, or just say it. Just so you know, yes means yes. No means yes. All of your remaining fingers falling off...very good! That also means yes. Nyahahaha, it is so funny how your farmer person wants me to come and tell you about good life choices to make when you do not have any sort of actual lives anymore--but that is all right, you do not have to look so sad about it! I will give you good afterlife decisions instead. And do you know what the best one you could possibly make right now is, nya?
Why, it is to obey your excellent new adviser and unquestioningly serve him in any way possible, of course! You, chewing on your companion's leg! I desire to eat something as well, and I cannot consume rotting flesh or vegetables! Only the best and freshest seafood will do, and I absolutely know that you have some stored away in that tall building over there, because I can smell it! Do not look unnerved, it is perfectly harmless to go over there and get me some. Shoo, shoo!
As for you! I know it is not nearly harvest time here yet, but it is inconceivable that there should be nothing whatsoever to be drunk here! Bring me anything alcoholic that you can find, and I do not care how many more body parts you might lose in the procurement of it; if you did not want that to happen to you, then you should have decided not to become a zombie, after all. This is a very special duty! I only pick you to do it because you cannot drink any of what you find yourself without a jaw, nyahahaha! ...wait, do not stare mournfully at me like that! All right, all right, I still will not give you any, but you can change places with the zombie with no eyes. Clearly she will not give me that look the way that you do.
And lastly, you! The one who cannot stand up for himself amongst the others, because he has no legs! My decision for you is that...you do not need to do anything at all! You may simply stay here by the throne of the great myself and await my pleasure. Because I am being a little bit nice to you, you had better be extra industrious and think up any way you can to service me properly!
Nyauuuuugh, not like that!
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