Why I do not like the concept of master/slave relationships
For those who believe I am blunt from what you've seen of me thus far, you ain't seen nothing yet.
This is my full opinion on all of this, stated as clearly as I am known for. You are welcome, any and all of you, to reply to this and tell me how completely wrong I am. I'd like the debate, and I always welcome commentary. That said...
I do not like master/slave relationships. I'm leery of 24/7 relationships in general. And here is why.
A submissive who wants someone to control all aspects of his or her life does not want a partner, they want a parent. They do not want to enjoy the kink of playing with power, they want to not take responsibility for their own lives. Most 24/7 submissives or slaves (note the most, I can think of several exceptions to this rule) come across as needy children incapable of making their own decisions. I think they want to be that way. And I think that is wrong.
Note my phrasing. Wrong. Not easier, not more comfortable, but morally wrong to give up the one glorious thing that we have, which is free will.
Wanting to please your partner is one thing, and getting pleasure out of making them happy is a common thing. Hell, I learned how to make hot tea appropriately, and I'd rather die than drink the stuff.
A dominant who wants to control all aspects of his or her submissive's life borders dangerously on abuse. The line between telling someone what to wear every day, what to eat every day, and who to talk to, what to think, what is and is not acceptable is extremely fine.
Is it acceptable for a dominant to order a submissive to stop talking to his or her friends? Family? What if he or she is beaten for it? What if he or she is isolated from everyone that they love?
They call that spousal abuse, and it being consentual doesn't make it right in my eyes.
If I see a man beating his wife, I'm going to call the police. If I see signs of abuse in a BDSM relationship, I'm going to say so. If I am wrong, I will admit it as loudly as I declared myself right.
Wanting to give up all control and responsibility to someone for the rest of your life is not healthy.
Wanting to take all control and responsibility from someone for the rest of their life is not healthy.
BDSM is safe, sane, and consentual.
Desiring to live the rest of your life as a child who needn't take responsibility for anything, or controlling someone else in that fashion is neither safe or sane.
I am not the moral authority of the BDSM universe. But if someone asks me for my opinion, I am going to give it, as politely as I can. When I give my opinion, I'm welcoming responses.
More than anything else, I am frustrated. Frustrated that a kink that I deeply enjoy is seen by so many as a way to stop having to take responsibility for their own lives. Frustrated that the kink my husband enjoys is often used as an excuse for abuse.
I am tired of watching people write off emotionally dangerous behaviors as okay because it's consentual.
If you were standing at a play party, and someone started cutting off their submissive's leg, would you say something? After all, it's consentual!
This is my full opinion on all of this, stated as clearly as I am known for. You are welcome, any and all of you, to reply to this and tell me how completely wrong I am. I'd like the debate, and I always welcome commentary. That said...
I do not like master/slave relationships. I'm leery of 24/7 relationships in general. And here is why.
A submissive who wants someone to control all aspects of his or her life does not want a partner, they want a parent. They do not want to enjoy the kink of playing with power, they want to not take responsibility for their own lives. Most 24/7 submissives or slaves (note the most, I can think of several exceptions to this rule) come across as needy children incapable of making their own decisions. I think they want to be that way. And I think that is wrong.
Note my phrasing. Wrong. Not easier, not more comfortable, but morally wrong to give up the one glorious thing that we have, which is free will.
Wanting to please your partner is one thing, and getting pleasure out of making them happy is a common thing. Hell, I learned how to make hot tea appropriately, and I'd rather die than drink the stuff.
A dominant who wants to control all aspects of his or her submissive's life borders dangerously on abuse. The line between telling someone what to wear every day, what to eat every day, and who to talk to, what to think, what is and is not acceptable is extremely fine.
Is it acceptable for a dominant to order a submissive to stop talking to his or her friends? Family? What if he or she is beaten for it? What if he or she is isolated from everyone that they love?
They call that spousal abuse, and it being consentual doesn't make it right in my eyes.
If I see a man beating his wife, I'm going to call the police. If I see signs of abuse in a BDSM relationship, I'm going to say so. If I am wrong, I will admit it as loudly as I declared myself right.
Wanting to give up all control and responsibility to someone for the rest of your life is not healthy.
Wanting to take all control and responsibility from someone for the rest of their life is not healthy.
BDSM is safe, sane, and consentual.
Desiring to live the rest of your life as a child who needn't take responsibility for anything, or controlling someone else in that fashion is neither safe or sane.
I am not the moral authority of the BDSM universe. But if someone asks me for my opinion, I am going to give it, as politely as I can. When I give my opinion, I'm welcoming responses.
More than anything else, I am frustrated. Frustrated that a kink that I deeply enjoy is seen by so many as a way to stop having to take responsibility for their own lives. Frustrated that the kink my husband enjoys is often used as an excuse for abuse.
I am tired of watching people write off emotionally dangerous behaviors as okay because it's consentual.
If you were standing at a play party, and someone started cutting off their submissive's leg, would you say something? After all, it's consentual!