Waking up and knowing fine well you have to vaseline almost everything from your hips to your knees fills one with an odd sense of purpose. Stumbling downstairs to a harmony of snoring beautifully perfected by my mother and the dog, I knew that this day would be a good day ( Read more... )

After 5 years of University, 5 years of banter, a lifetime's worth of mental scars, at least 10 years shaved off the life expectancy, more drink than could have ever been necessary and less studying than you will believe: I find myself back in Glasgow, victorious in achieving a degree and now successfully unemployed ( Read more... )

Making Radiohead sound like Pendulum is a hard task but miraculously managed by a local sorcerer named Paul, coincidentally performing the same task with pendulum, that task being conjuring up a go-faster device, makes it sound like a bumblebee on cocaine being violently ill everywhere ( Read more... )

Sitting in a room full of friends and family on a warmth inspiring occasion I sit here in the corner firmly fixated on my laptop with music blaring through my headphones at a thoroughly unacceptable level I am gently nuzzled by both my dog and her most recent gaseous expulsion ( Read more... )

GEEEEEEE whizzz. what a mighty corkingly long time t'has been since i updated this dishevveled piece of shrapnel that was once my life. so much to write and so much to say, willikers where to begin is the big un methinks ( Read more... )

Right now I should be working on the essay due for this afternoon, it counts for like 20% upwards of my grade, but I'm having serious trouble getting myself motivated here. So i thought I'd write to my somewhat undernourished LiveJournal ( Read more... )

thud went the ground as tony's face ploughed into it at high velocity. The shortcut he had chosen totake was in fact through a forest and tragically he was felled by it, the trees seeking revnge on man via tony. Sadly my drunkenness hurt more than anything the next morning to be fair. Idiocy is seemingly my forté of late ( Read more... )

yummy, i woke up this morning and hit my head on the bars of my bed, i then proceeded to put my trousers on a couple of times till i got it right, a trendy habit of mine. Picked out a nice pair of socks and proceeded to put them on my hands and suddenly a war of words broke out between the two. Went to the bank which was fun, then bought some ( Read more... )

I'm living on an island on the west coast of Scotland and i thoguht that you should know that. this week there was much excitement with the texans coming to stay, apparently they were a raucas bunch but far be it from me to prejudge em ( Read more... )

euch...so hungover ( Read more... )