Practical Joke Continued
Title: Practical Joke Continued
Author: Nytel
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Up to Pegasus, nothing really specific though.
Summary: What do you do when you find the CAG and his lead pilot in a compromising situation? Read to find out.
Disclaimer: I do not own Battlestar Galactica or any of its components.
***
Kara walked to the mess hall still half asleep. The night before she had slept better than she had in a long time. Kara had no idea why that was, but she wasn’t complaining.
After grabbing some food she went to find a place to sit down. She noticed Helo sitting by himself at one of the tables and opted to join him. As she sat down across from him she noticed that he was grinning from ear to ear.
“Someone’s happy this morning.” Kara stated.
“Yeah,” Helo said. “I guess I am.” He still hadn’t stopped smiling, and something about the way he was doing it was making Kara feel a little unnerved.
“Care to share?” Kara asked as she took a bite out of her toast.
“Not really.”
“Fine,” Kara said, not bothering to swallow first. “Be that way.”
Just as Kara had finished saying that Hot Dog walked into the mess still wearing his flight suit. He must have just ended his CAP rotation. That meant that Kara would be due to start hers in less than a few hours.
Kara was surprised when Hot Dog walked straight over to Helo. Hot Dog appeared to be about to say something but stopped when he noticed that it was Kara who was sitting across the table from Helo.
“Sir.” He said sounding shocked to see her.
“Hot Dog.” She said in reply.
Hot Dog then turned to face Helo. “Have you seen Dee lately sir?”
“Yeah,” said Helo. “She was just in here a few minutes ago in fact.” After saying that Helo’s smile seemed to become even bigger. In fact in looked like he was trying to suppress a laugh.
“She told me to tell you that if you were looking for her, she would be in CIC.”
After Hot Dog nodded, Helo continued. “Actually, she said that you should find her immediately and that you’ll be pleasantly surprised at how it all turned out.” Hot Dog nodded again. “And I’m willing to second her on that one. You’ll be pleased.”
Hot Dog nodded one last time before he turned around and briskly exited the room.
“What the hell was that all about?” Kara demanded.
Helo didn’t say anything. Instead he merely shrugged his shoulders. But what really irked Kara was that he still had that stupid grin plastered on his face.
“Fine,” she said rather harshly. “Don’t tell me.”
“Ok,” Helo responded. “I won’t.” And with that he stood up and left the mess hall, leaving a very confused and angry Kara Thrace in his wake.
Lee sighed as he closed the bulkhead door behind him. That had to have been one of the most boring meetings of his life. For hours they had sat there talking about a new and more efficient way to distribute supplies amongst the fleet.
It wasn’t that it wasn’t an important issue. It was just the fact that they had spent hours talking about it to realize that there wasn’t a more efficient way. They were already doing the best that they possibly could, given the circumstances they were in.
Luckily President Roslin had told Lee to go and perform his duties as CAG. She said it was a waste of his time to sit around in a meeting talking about stuff that he really shouldn’t be concerning himself with. Lee just wished she had thought of this before the meeting started.
Lee began walking back to the senior officer’s quarters so that he could change out of his formal blues. He might as well make his way down to the hanger bay now even though he wasn’t due on patrol for a few more hours. There was always something in the hanger bay that needed to get done so he may as well help if he could.
As Lee rounded a corner he saw the latest batch of nuggets. They acknowledged him with the formal ‘sir’, but something was odd. It looked as though all five of them were trying to suppress laughter. Lee would have questioned their odd behavior but the turned down one of the side hallways before he even had a chance.
Lee was still pondering the strange behavior of the nuggets when he ran into another group of people in the hallway. Two of them were marines that Lee had worked with during the cylon infiltration incident, but Lee didn’t recognize the other two.
When they noticed Lee they began to snicker silently and then they sped up to pass him. Lee turned around as he watched them pass, completely bewildered by their actions. What is so god damn funny?
Lee looked down at his uniform checking for some unnoticed stain. Then, just to be safe, he checked to make sure that he fly was done up. It was. There was absolutely nothing wrong with the way he looked. Then why the hell are people laughing at me? Lee was getting angry now.
When Lee passed a third group of people, he gave them an angry glare as they too started to laugh and talk amongst themselves. They immediately stopped their chatter, but a few of them were still struggling to suppress their laughter.
When Lee finally reached his quarters he was in a bad mood. He had just been laughed at by several people for no apparent reason, before that he had spent hours in a boring meeting, and he had started off the morning by falling out of his bed face first.
Then a tiny voice in his mind saw fit to remind him that he had had the pleasure of waking up with Kara. Lee promptly ignored that voice and entered the bunkroom.
Upon entering, Lee noticed that the only other two occupants were Kara and Helo. He let out a breath that he didn’t realize he’d been holding. He did not expect either of them to begin laughing at him for no good reason. It appeared that he was safe for the time being.
When Lee opened up his locker with a little more force than necessary Kara looked at him in surprise from where she sat on his bed. “You look tense.” She stated.
When he didn’t reply she said, “Something wrong?”
“Not really,” Lee replied. “But it seems that everyone I see wants to laugh at me for no good reason.” Lee had tried to keep his voice calm, but you could still sense the anger behind his words.
“Yeah, it’s starting to piss me off.” Kara said, though surprisingly she didn’t sound as angry as Lee.
“What?” Lee questioned. “People are laughing at you too?” A small smile broke out on Lee’s face. For some reason, knowing that the same thing was happening to Kara made the situation less worse in his mind.
“Hey,” Kara said warningly. “It’s not funny. In fact it’s starting to piss me off.”
“You already said that.”
Then Kara and Lee’s conversation as interrupted by laughter. They both immediately turned to look at Helo who was obviously not even trying to restrain himself, and was laughing very loud. The book that he had been reading dropped from his hand onto the floor and he began to laugh even harder.
“You had better tell me what you find so god damn amusing about this Helo.” Kara’s voice was seething with anger. Lee laid his hand on her arm unconsciously to restrain her if need be.
Upon hearing Kara’s statement Helo sobered a bit, but he still had a grin on his face. When Helo finally returned to reading his discarded book, Kara turned to face away from him. She grabbed her flight suit out of her locker and put it on part way. She tied the arms around her waist so that she was only really wearing the pants. Lee was doing the same.
When they had both changed they left the quarters and headed down to the hanger bay. Little did they know that as soon as they had closed the hatch door behind them Helo started to laugh again. It seemed to him that his plan was working much better than expected.
Commander Adama had just finished up his meeting with the President and was making his way to the mess hall before he went to talk to the Chief. Spending hours discussing the most boring things that one could think of would make any man hungry. The president had said that she and Billy would wrap up the meeting with Col. Tigh, which left Commander Adama free to go.
Commander Adama saw two people walking ahead of him in the hallway. From the direction that they were going he assumed that they were heading to the mess hall too. He recognized one of them as Dee, but the other one he couldn’t place. He was definitely a viper pilot. Commander Adama could tell because he was still wearing his flight suit.
As Commander Adama got closer to the duo he could hear that they were whispering to each other frantically. Now that was odd. He never pictured Dee as a person who would carry on like that. Just as the Commander saw that they were holding something, he recognized that the pilot was Hot Dog, one of Starbuck’s nuggets. Now that made this even odder. He had always thought that Dee had a thing for that assistant of the President’s.
Dee and Hot Dog must have been really focused on their conversation because they didn’t realize that he was behind them until he had almost caught up with them. Dee jumped in surprise as she looked over her shoulder and realized who their companion in the hallway was.
She grabbed the objects out of Hot Dog’s hands and hid them behind her back as quick as she possibly could. Adama recognized the objects were in fact pictures, but he could not tell what they were pictures of. Dee had hidden them too quickly for him to get a good look.
Both Hot Dog and Dee said “Sir,” as they stood at attention. They both looked a little nervous, but Hot Dog more so than Dee.
“At ease.” Adama said. “What have you got there Dee?” he asked indicating to the pictures hidden behind her back.
“Oh, uh…it’s nothing important sir.” She managed to stammer out in reply.
“Well I’d like to see it anyways.” Adama said. He was rather curious to see what Dee was hiding behind her back. Also, he needed to make sure it wasn’t anything that was compromising the safety of his battlestar.
When Dee hesitated Adama said, “Don’t force me to make that an order Dee.”
Dee reluctantly withdrew the pictures from behind her back and handed them over to the Commander face down.
Adama raised his eyebrow in question and proceeded to turn over the picture. Whatever he had been expecting, that wasn’t it. Nothing could have prepared him for what he was now seeing.
When the Commander looked up from the picture Dee said, “Sir, I can explain.”
“There’s no need Dee.” He replied, keeping his face free of all emotion.
“Sir really…”
“I said, there’s no need.” Then Adama’s face broke out into a grin. Dee looked shocked by his actions but did not say anything.
Hot Dog on the other hand said, “There’s actually two pictures sir.” He too had a smile on his face although it quickly faded when Dee reprimanded him for his rash words.
Commander Adama pulled the second picture out from under the first and in doing so his smile got even bigger. He had always known that there was something between Lee and Kara. And now the proof of it was sitting right here in his hands.
Looking back up at Dee and Hot Dog he saw that they were both waiting nervously for him to say something, probably just anything to break the heavy silence.
“Dee, I would like a copy of the pictures made and brought to my office. Do you understand?”
“Yes, sir.” She replied sounding very confused.
“Very well.” The Commander said as he handed the pictures back to her and continued on to the mess hall.
Now if Lee and Kara ever decided to tell him about what was going on between them he could have some fun in embarrassing them. Adama realized how childish that was, but at the same time he just couldn’t resist. No one should ever pass up the opportunity to get some amazing blackmail material. Not even if it was for a childish reason.
Kara walked with Lee to the hanger deck. They both had a while until they were due to start their rotation but Kara figured that there was probably something that needed to be done at the hanger deck, so they might as well do it.
As they entered the hanger deck side by side, people turned to look at them. Some of those people were snickering while others were merely smiling. Kara scowled, she had no idea what was so funny, but she wished that someone would finally let her in on the joke.
Kara then noticed the Commander. He was standing only a few feet away talking to the Chief about something. He was apparently just finishing up his discussion because he walked over to where Kara and Lee were standing.
Kara was shocked to see that he too had a grin on his face. He looked back and forth between her and Lee still smiling like an idiot, and then he left without even saying a word.
“What the hell was that about?” Kara asked.
“How the hell should I know?” Lee responded.
“Well, he is your father.” Lee glared at Kara for her last comment.
He stomped over to where his viper was, and Kara went over to hers. Kara noticed that Cally was under her viper doing some sort of maintenance. Cally rolled herself out from under the bird when she noticed that Kara was there.
“Sir.” She said.
“Cally.” Kara replied, noticing that Cally wasn’t laughing at her at least. So there is still one sane person on this ship. “What are you working on?”
“Just a routine maintenance check sir.” Cally said. “I’m almost done and the viper seems to be in good condition except that the hatch to the wiring won’t stay closed.”
“Yeah,” Kara said. “I took a pretty good hit from the cylons last time.” Kara remained silent for a few seconds before saying, “I’ll finish up here Cally. I’ve got time before I’m due for my rotation.”
Cally nodded and stood up. She stretched her neck from side to side before walking away to begin working on another Viper. Kara sat down on the roller and then stretched out on it. She rolled herself under the belly of her Viper and began to repair the hatch.
Kara had been working for a few minutes before she realized that the hanger deck was filled with secretive whispers. Pretending that she needed another wrench Kara rolled herself out from under the Viper. As soon as she did she saw that at least half the people there were looking at her. But as soon as they noticed that she could see them looking, they hurriedly turned away.
Kara’s anger flared. It had been a long time since she had been this mad. She hastily shoved herself back under her viper so that she could finish her repairs, almost hitting her head in the process.
It took Kara the better part of two hours to do the repairs and when she wheeled herself back out from under the bird she realized that nobody was staring at her. Good she thought. She then realized that it was because they were staring at something else, no someone else.
Lee was walking towards her and all eyes were on him. Kara stood up and shouted, “You guys got a problem?!” She was sick and tired of all the stupid behavior. Immediately after Kara’s outburst everyone in the hanger deck went back to doing what they were supposed to be doing.
When Lee made it a little closer to Kara she could see that he was mad too, but she knew that he wouldn’t do anything about it. Luckily for him, Kara wasn’t one to hesitate telling people off.
Seemingly ignoring Kara’s outburst, Lee came over and asked, “Are you ready to go?”
Kara nodded as she noticed that Lee had already zipped up his flight suit and held his helmet under his arm. Within moments Kara had her flight suit zipped up too, and she grabbed her helmet from the bench nearby. Meanwhile the deck crew was waiting for the two pilots so they could bring the vipers over to the launch tubes.
Right before Kara started to ascend the ladder into the cockpit Lee pulled her aside.
“Thanks,” he said quietly. He didn’t have to explain himself any further. Kara nodded. She knew what he was talking about.
As Kara entered the cockpit she could hear more secretive whispers from around her. If they don’t tell me what’s so funny and soon, I might have to do more then yell at them.
Lee had just launched his viper and for the first time that day he felt happy. Lee chose to ignore the voice in the back of his mind that was saying it was actually the second time, the first being when he woke up with Kara in his bed.
Flying always made Lee feel more carefree and happy, especially so when he was flying with Kara. If anything were to happen, Lee knew that Kara would have his back. And that was a very comforting thought.
Once Lee and Kara had flown once around the perimeter of the fleet, Lee heard Kara’s voice over the comm link. “Looks like this is going to be a boring three hours.”
“Seems that way.” Lee replied.
They flew in silence. Lee could tell that Kara wanted to talk about the weird behavior of the crew, but unfortunately they couldn’t. If they were to talk over the comm link, other people would hear their conversation. Most likely it would only be Dee, but neither Lee nor Kara wanted to risk that.
“Apollo…” Lee heard Kara say over the comm link, but then she didn’t say anything else.
Lee knew exactly what Kara had been going to ask so he simple said, “Later Starbuck.” They could discuss the behavior of the crew later, once they had finished their rotation.
They flew the rest of their patrol in silence, neither one saying a word. Eventually they saw that two other vipers had been launched. This meant that Kara and Lee were done their rotation.
“Starbuck and Apollo, Galactica, please execute a hands on approach to the portside hanger bay.”
“Roger that Galactica.” Lee said in response to the message. “Executing hands on approach.”
Once Lee had landed and gotten out of his viper, he immediately went over to where Kara was standing. He knew that she wanted to talk about what was going on, and he did too. That was all that he had been able to think about while flying CAP and he now desperately wanted to be able to get to the bottom of it.
Lee was surprised to see that there was a group of people crowded around Kara’s viper. He immediately recognized Helo, Cally, Hot Dog and …Gaeta and Dee? Lee wondered what they were doing down here. They should have been in CIC.
When Lee got a little closer he noticed that Kara and Helo were staring each other down. Remembering the tension between them earlier that day, Lee thought this can’t be good.
He ran the last few steps to where the group stood. “What the hell is going on here?!” Lee asked in his most demanding voice.
It was Kara who replied. “It’s them.” She said. “They’re the ones who started it.”
“Started what?” Lee asked.
“They started whatever it is that’s making everyone laugh at the sight of either of us.”
Lee noticed that he accused party was looking rather guilty. Kara continued. “Helo’s hiding the evidence behind his back and I can’t order him to show it to me.”
“Wait a second,” Helo said. “How do you know this has anything to do with that?”
“Why else would you be hiding it then?” Kara asked in a mocking tone.
Helo seemed to be at loss for words. “Um…maybe it’s something personal and I just don’t want you to see.”
“Then why were you showing it to them?” Kara asked, indicating the rest of the little group. She had a smug look on her face, knowing that she was right.
“Because…” Helo just let the word hang in the air, a sure sign that he was guilty.
Lee had had enough. “Show it to me Lieutenant. Now.” When Helo hesitated Lee added. “That’s an order.”
Whatever it was that Helo was doing, it obviously wasn’t worth disobeying an order for. He reluctantly handed over two pieces of paper to Lee. If this was really what all the commotion was about, then Lee wanted to get to the bottom of it.
Kara looked over Lee’s shoulder as he turned over the two pieces of paper and got the shock of his life.
Kara gasped in shock as she realized what exactly it was that Lee was holding. The two pieces of paper that Helo had been hiding were actually pictures. But that wasn’t the shocking part. They were pictures of her and Lee cuddling together in his bed.
Kara closed her mouth as soon as she realized that it had dropped open in her initial reaction to the pictures. A quick glance at Lee told Kara that he was just as shocked as she was, if not more.
When Kara looked up at the group of people surrounding them, she noticed that they all looked very nervous. They appeared to be awaiting some sort of response.
“So this is why everyone was laughing at us.” Kara stated angrily.
“Yes sir.” Cally said quietly. The rest of the group merely looked at Kara. Helo seemed to be the least worried about the outcome of their little stunt. He was trying to suppress the grin that was silently spreading its way across his face.
“You showed this picture to nearly everyone aboard Galactica. And let me guess,” Kara said. “You thought it would be funny to humiliate me because I kept you awake last night.”
They didn’t have to answer. Kara knew that she was right on the mark. For a few moments Kara stood there and thought about the situation. The people standing in front of her had been humiliating her all day without her even knowing it. They had shown those pictures of her and Lee to the gods knew how many people on this decrepit battlestar.
It was probably the best practical joke that Kara had ever heard of.
Lee stared at the pictures in his hands, still not truly believing what he was seeing. He definitely did not remember that from the night before, but then again, he had been sleeping. No matter how hard Lee tried he couldn’t believe that he and Kara had ever been in those positions. Yet the proof was right in front of him.
Suddenly Lee realized the implications of these pictures. They had been shown to almost every person aboard the Galactica. Lee felt his face start to heat up with embarrassment. He heard Kara talking to the group angrily, but he wasn’t really registering what she was saying.
Then, all of a sudden, Lee heard someone burst out laughing. This is the last straw he thought as he snapped his head up to see who it was that was laughing. Lee’s eyes widened in shock, as he realized that it was Kara who was laughing like an idiot. She was actually laughing so hard that she was clutching her side with one hand and using the other to steady herself on a nearby viper.
The group of pranksters were all looking at Kara like she had lost her mind, and they might not be that far off of the mark.
“You think this is funny Kara?” Lee asked. He was still utterly embarrassed by the whole situation.
Kara nodded her head but kept on laughing.
“These,” Lee said waving the pictures in front of him. “Were shown to everyone on this frakking ship. And you think it’s funny.”
Kara nodded once again. She had actually made it to the point where she was laughing so hard that tears had started to roll down her cheeks.
“Are you insane?” Lee yelled.
Before anyone could respond to his last comment, Lee thought of something. What if his father had seen these pictures too?
Lee turned to face Helo and asked, “Did my father see these?” Lee didn’t yell, but he didn’t need to. The anger was still evident in his voice.
“Yes, sir.” Said a voice off to Lee’s side. Lee turned to face Dee. “He saw Hot Dog and I looking at the pictures in the hallway and demanded that we show them to him.”
Lee felt a feeling of dread fill his gut. His father had seen these pictures. He gulped audibly before asking, “Did you at least explain to him that it’s not entirely what it looks like?”
Dee shook her head. “I tried sir, but he wouldn’t listen.”
Lee groaned. This day just couldn’t get any worse. When he realized that Kara was still laughing he said, “You do realize that my father saw these.”
Kara, who had managed to gain back some level of control, said, “Yes.” She was slightly out of breath. “He probably thinks that we’re frakking each other.” And with her last comment Kara started laughing again.
“This. Is. Not. Funny.” Lee said angrily through gritted teeth, emphasizing each word with a shake of the pictures.
“Whatever.” Kara said sarcastically.
Lee felt himself get even angrier. How the hell does she find this funny? “You know what Kara,” Lee said.
Kara looked at him with mock concern and said, “No Lee. What?”
“You’re sleeping on the floor tonight.” Lee was one hundred percent serious, but Kara thought it was a joke. She had started laughing again.
Lee turned on his heel and headed for the exit of the hanger bay, leaving an insane woman, and one group of confused and happy people behind him. Lee made sure that he had the pictures with him. They were going to get burned.
As Lee walked down the hallway he could still hear Kara’s laughter ringing in his ears. She was most definitely sleeping on the floor that night.
***
Well, I hope that you enjoyed. Please let me know what you thought and constructive criticism is always appreciated. Also, I am in need of a beta so if anyone is interested please let me know.