ugh
Feel free to ask me questions about this or to just skip this whole stupid moment of weakness.
You know I had though of what I wanted to say. Not that I expect many replies if at all I just need to get this out of my head. It will definitely not make sense to anybody but me. Work had been really busy, rough, draining, stressing. Since before I left for my vacation (i.e. Nov. 3). It has finally let up but my neck is excrutiating from the tension headaches. I get teary if I think about things too much. This diet thing is stressing. Hubby is not very helpful. He does not realize what he thinks is encouraging just does not feel encouraging to me. He has no idea how hard it is. I almost feel like he is selfish in some way. I mean he is the nicest guy, sweet, tells me I love you almost too much. But that has never been a problem.
Actually he is the reason I feel all stressed out. Why, well it is a really long and complicated story. I hate that I feel that he is the reason I have lost my passion. I lost my will to try, my drive, my ardor, my lust, my libido. Now I have started to feel bad about my feelings. I am getting tired of holding back, feeling bad. I feel that it is slowly cutting me up inside. He does his best to give me everything I could want. But the one thing I do want he ignores either by accident or whatever. I know he knows about my feelings. We have had many a talk about it before we got married. I am fed up and have given up on him ever doing anything about it.
I thought guys were the ones who were supposed to think with their cocks? I though they were the ones who were a hairs breadth away from humping girls' legs? What the fuck man. I decided to forget about it. I give up. He will never realize or think about how it has all made me feel. I can't even discuss it because if I ever say anything/discuss anything he feels bad. Like he is just not doing anything right or I am criticizing him. I am not but there is no way to say it. So it is official I am giving up on sex. Yes I am. I get weak sometimes, and I give in and do not bring attention to things I should be but fuck it. I am going to try and abstain from sex (come on don't laugh) and let him feel for a moment just a touch of what I feel. Yes it is juvenile but I don't care anymore. He needs to grow up damn it!! GROW UP! I am not looking for answers just an ear. Maybe some thoughts, no lectures. There is more to the story it is too long to go into. I just needed to vent. I am going to try and get into my two "hobbies" again.
I want to paint and play piano like I was before. God knows I need an outlet for all this emotion.
You know I had though of what I wanted to say. Not that I expect many replies if at all I just need to get this out of my head. It will definitely not make sense to anybody but me. Work had been really busy, rough, draining, stressing. Since before I left for my vacation (i.e. Nov. 3). It has finally let up but my neck is excrutiating from the tension headaches. I get teary if I think about things too much. This diet thing is stressing. Hubby is not very helpful. He does not realize what he thinks is encouraging just does not feel encouraging to me. He has no idea how hard it is. I almost feel like he is selfish in some way. I mean he is the nicest guy, sweet, tells me I love you almost too much. But that has never been a problem.
Actually he is the reason I feel all stressed out. Why, well it is a really long and complicated story. I hate that I feel that he is the reason I have lost my passion. I lost my will to try, my drive, my ardor, my lust, my libido. Now I have started to feel bad about my feelings. I am getting tired of holding back, feeling bad. I feel that it is slowly cutting me up inside. He does his best to give me everything I could want. But the one thing I do want he ignores either by accident or whatever. I know he knows about my feelings. We have had many a talk about it before we got married. I am fed up and have given up on him ever doing anything about it.
I thought guys were the ones who were supposed to think with their cocks? I though they were the ones who were a hairs breadth away from humping girls' legs? What the fuck man. I decided to forget about it. I give up. He will never realize or think about how it has all made me feel. I can't even discuss it because if I ever say anything/discuss anything he feels bad. Like he is just not doing anything right or I am criticizing him. I am not but there is no way to say it. So it is official I am giving up on sex. Yes I am. I get weak sometimes, and I give in and do not bring attention to things I should be but fuck it. I am going to try and abstain from sex (come on don't laugh) and let him feel for a moment just a touch of what I feel. Yes it is juvenile but I don't care anymore. He needs to grow up damn it!! GROW UP! I am not looking for answers just an ear. Maybe some thoughts, no lectures. There is more to the story it is too long to go into. I just needed to vent. I am going to try and get into my two "hobbies" again.
I want to paint and play piano like I was before. God knows I need an outlet for all this emotion.