Slipping Into Darkness... Ch. 6

Jun 13, 2008 22:00

Jack had to admit it was hot, the suddenness of standing there and watching his dick disappear into Tyler’s mouth and throat - not all the way, but close enough.  He figured Tyler was trying to get him going, and appreciated the effort.  Didn't hurt that he was more stoned than he'd realized, and the sight of Tyler’s greyhound body spread out below ( Read more... )

au, slipping into darkness, o2binla

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Comments 36

buffymonmon June 14 2008, 07:14:19 UTC
This chapter wasn´t all that easy for me to read, but I admire you for sticking with it and making it all about Jack and his needs. I like it when you show that there´s clearly (sometimes at least) a difference between sex and love.
Reading this chapter pretty much feels lquite ike watching the Randall scene in the movie. Very well-written! Can hardly wait for the next chapter.

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o2binla June 20 2008, 05:47:27 UTC
Glad you found it worthwhile! I've already started the next chapter, hope to have it up faster than I did this one.

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sweetje June 14 2008, 08:23:38 UTC
I'm kind of relieved that Jack is still thinking of Ennis sometimes. I really don't want him to completely forget him.
I am glad that Tyler seems to be good to Jack. It's still hard to see Jack with someone else. Why is Ennis so darned hard headed stubborn?!
This was an interesting chapter. I do love the way you write your characters. I'm looking forward to your next chapter. : )
Debra

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o2binla June 20 2008, 05:49:36 UTC
Thanks! Tyler isn't a bad guy but Jack is definitely not over Ennis -- I have a hard time imagining he ever could be completely.

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soulan June 14 2008, 08:33:31 UTC
You do such a good job of conveying that, at his core, Jack is untouched by Tyler's attentions. "...Jack fucked him steadily until they both came" was such an anti-climactic climax - the two paragraphs leading up to it just screamed out for something, I don't know, "orgasmic" emotionally. I found myself wanting Jack to really fall for this man and felt strangely frustrated that he wasn't. Ennis is such a looming absence. I kept thinking about how Ennis would feel if he could read what Jack was doing, how shattered he would be. Are you going to have any chapter(s) from Ennis POV?

I liked your use of the Grateful Dead. I can picture exactly what Steve looks like. lol It underlined the generational and cultural gulf between Jack and the two guys, plus it lent a streak of darkness, reminding us of Jack's original fate.

I sure wish you were able to update more frequently because this is one of my favorite stories.

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o2binla June 20 2008, 05:53:44 UTC
I wanted to show Jack liking the sex just fine but not being that touched emotionally, certainly not as he was up in BB w/Ennis -- so I'm glad that's coming through! I've been finding the smex in this kind of hard to write, for some reason.
I'd love to update more frequently, as the story is much on my mind -- I'm determined to overcome my writing phobia and just keep pressing on -- but RL sometimes gets in the way, esp. w/this last chapter. I've started ch. 7 and hope to have it up sooner than it took last time... Thank you for reading and commenting!

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elena_62 June 14 2008, 09:19:32 UTC
Hi!

Thank you for the great update! I really like how you write. I think you do a great job depicting Jack's feelings and the presence of Ennis in his thoughts.

I'm so glad of the climate change in the fandom, that is that you are not getting lyinched because you are stepping out of the one true pairing.

Ciao

Antonella

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o2binla June 20 2008, 05:59:12 UTC
Hi Antonella,
Glad you're enjoying it! I don't believe Jack would ever just forget Ennis, so Ennis is definitely on his mind even as he tries to cope w/how hollowed-out their long affair has left him feeling.
I wanted to write this story b/c I don't think it's been done, and also b/c Jack gets killed or seriously injured in so many stories but never gets his bell rung by a hot guy as he well deserves (in my opinion anyway :-). I was concerned that some readers would be hurt or just hate it, but that hasn't been the case -- I think you're right, some people in the fandom are ready for something different.

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eandj June 14 2008, 11:30:10 UTC
Although I often thought Jack should have done things differently, I never much liked MO stories.Too hard to read.
But today I thought I give your story a try and because it is so very well written and believable I had to also read all the other chapters.
Perhaps Jack will find a little happiness of his own, he surely deserves it.
Can't say much about Ennis in your story, we don't know what he's thinking and feeling. But I hope we will get a chapter about him too. Perhaps he can push himself a little and they can find each other again, although I don't have much hope because he's as withdrawn as ever. But maybe the long separation and slow retreat of Jack will give him time to think.
I'm looking forward to the next chapter
Paula

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o2binla June 20 2008, 06:05:00 UTC
Thanks, I'm glad you're finding it worthwhile! His long affair with Ennis hasn't left Jack capable of being all that happy, but I'm trying to show him on the upswing: he has a decent job, he's safe, a hot guy is after him. The story takes place from Jack's POV and while I'd like to bring in some of Ennis' POV at some point, I'm still considering how to do that... One of the problems w/Ennis, of course, is that he says so little that it's difficult to Jack to know what he's thinking...

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