papa?

Nov 09, 2008 22:46

of all the things i've never asked my father ( Read more... )

love, others

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selma08 November 9 2008, 22:56:00 UTC
This makes me think about the fact that I often think that I tell too much too quickly, and I kind of wonder why.
But before I thought about that, I thought about how many things I never asked my father. Or told.

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o_cornelia November 10 2008, 00:33:36 UTC
yes, it might be a similar thing. i know that feeling too. for me, i think, it might stem from feeling i finally have a chance to tell someone and as if i haven't had enough chances, which isn't necessarily true but that's a bit how it feels. Or, that I keep trying because i never seem to get it right :-) i have many theories but how valid they are, i don't know...

and yes, all the things not asked, not shared. it's interesting to me that i only started to feel this recently even though he died 6 years ago.

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selma08 November 11 2008, 18:16:41 UTC
Yes, the theories are many... The feeling that some things just need to be said, explained, talked about -- I often open up easily to people once I get to know them a bit, I think that instead of talking to someone (who might not be that interested anyway!), I should write more...

I think that the loss of a parent can give emotional reactions for a very long time after they died. I think the thoughts and feelings about this change over the years; maybe in ten years time, you will have other kinds of thoughts... I still can't write or think very concrete things about my father without feeling too sad, and it has been almost three years. During the first year, then I could hardly stand hearing my friends talk about their fathers, and I always cried if someone died in a movie... but I think that the need for writing will come eventually.

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