Very Early Sunday Morning: Parker's Final Revenge
After talking with Rory & Bridge, Marty wandered back to his room and sat down in front of his laptop. He had tried logging into his computer earlier in the day but for some reason it wasn't taking his password.
And after trying to type it in four or five times...
A weird image took over the screen.
"Okay. What the hell is this?"
The weird image was then replaced with text.
Wake up Marty.
Marty gave the computer a curious look and typed in: "I am awake"
The Grid has you Mr. Blank.
"Who is this?" Marty typed, "And if you start feeding me some bullshit about batteries and rabbit holes-"
Funny how you bring up the subject of "Rabbits" Mr. Blank.
Marty looked at the screen and swore. "Parker, I swear to God I'll-" Marty began to type.
This isn't Parker, dumbass. This is a virus.
You really should have a better password than "EggWhitesOnly". It's a little obvious don't you think?
Now if you want control of your computer back, you must submit to *my* demands.
"I don't negotiate with viruses," Marty typed.
This isn't a negotiation. Or perhaps you'd prefer this e-mail to go out from your account:
TO: principal.dewey@fandomhigh.net
FROM: martin.blank@fandomhigh.net
SUBJECT: Music Appreciation Club
Dear Sir,
I am writing to you to ask if I can form a club dedicated to the worship of Michael Bolton and John Tesh's music. I feel that these much maligned musicians deserve respect. I feel that a club on this campus will go a long way to serving that goal.
I'd also like to start having Kenny G's music played in the background of all my classes.
Please let me know what you think.
Sincerely
Martin Q. Blank
Marty blinked a few times at the message and tried to shut down the computer.
Nice try, Marty.
[MESSAGE SENT]
Shall we try again? What about this message:
TO: zoe.washburn@fandomhigh.net
FROM: martin.blank@fandomhigh.net
SUBJECT: Gun Club
Dear Dean Washburn,
I think that the gun club is getting stagnant. I'd like to volunteer myself to be the personal human target for the group. I'm quite fast and I'm sure I can dodge all the bullets.
Sincerely,
Martin Blank
Marty ripped the network cable out of the laptop.
Nice one, Marty. But you knew this laptop has wireless networking built in, right?
[MESSAGE SENT]
How about this message?
TO: dean.zordon@fandomhigh.net
FROM: martin.blank@fandomhigh.net
SUBJECT: Tube Cleaning Duties
Dear Tubey,
I think that little robot of yours sucks as a maid. I'd like to offer my services and my own personal supply of windex to help clean your tube every Saturday for the rest of the year.
Sincerely,
Martin Blank.
Marty then pulled the plug from the outlet.
Again, nice try but I have a battery. I can do this for hours. Idiot.
[MESSAGE SENT]
How about this message?
TO: angel@fandomhigh.net
CC: callisto@fandomhigh.net
FROM: martin.blank@fandomhigh.net
Subject: Ferret Sex
Angel,
Remember that voicemail you got? Well the offer is still open if you are interested. Come on down anytime, big boy.
-M
"Oh shit!"
Message will be sent in 10... 9... 8...
"What do you want me to do?" Marty typed in.
TO: All Students
FROM: martin.blank@fandomhigh.net
SUBJECT: Bunnies
My name is Martin Blank and I love bunnies. They are so soft and fluffy. All I want to do is pat the bunny.
Pat. Pat. Pat. Pat the bunny.
Would you like to pat the bunny? E-mail me back and we can talk about it.
Love,
Marty
[SEND MESSAGE? Y/N]
Marty sighed and pressed the "Y" key.
Very good, Mr. Blank. Today your password is "ima$chmuck". Tomorrow? It'll be something different.
Ever try to mess with Parker again? E-mail will be the least of your problems.
"Great," Marty muttered as he typed in his new password. "Just great."
And after trying to type it in four or five times...
A weird image took over the screen.
"Okay. What the hell is this?"
The weird image was then replaced with text.
Wake up Marty.
Marty gave the computer a curious look and typed in: "I am awake"
The Grid has you Mr. Blank.
"Who is this?" Marty typed, "And if you start feeding me some bullshit about batteries and rabbit holes-"
Funny how you bring up the subject of "Rabbits" Mr. Blank.
Marty looked at the screen and swore. "Parker, I swear to God I'll-" Marty began to type.
This isn't Parker, dumbass. This is a virus.
You really should have a better password than "EggWhitesOnly". It's a little obvious don't you think?
Now if you want control of your computer back, you must submit to *my* demands.
"I don't negotiate with viruses," Marty typed.
This isn't a negotiation. Or perhaps you'd prefer this e-mail to go out from your account:
TO: principal.dewey@fandomhigh.net
FROM: martin.blank@fandomhigh.net
SUBJECT: Music Appreciation Club
Dear Sir,
I am writing to you to ask if I can form a club dedicated to the worship of Michael Bolton and John Tesh's music. I feel that these much maligned musicians deserve respect. I feel that a club on this campus will go a long way to serving that goal.
I'd also like to start having Kenny G's music played in the background of all my classes.
Please let me know what you think.
Sincerely
Martin Q. Blank
Marty blinked a few times at the message and tried to shut down the computer.
Nice try, Marty.
[MESSAGE SENT]
Shall we try again? What about this message:
TO: zoe.washburn@fandomhigh.net
FROM: martin.blank@fandomhigh.net
SUBJECT: Gun Club
Dear Dean Washburn,
I think that the gun club is getting stagnant. I'd like to volunteer myself to be the personal human target for the group. I'm quite fast and I'm sure I can dodge all the bullets.
Sincerely,
Martin Blank
Marty ripped the network cable out of the laptop.
Nice one, Marty. But you knew this laptop has wireless networking built in, right?
[MESSAGE SENT]
How about this message?
TO: dean.zordon@fandomhigh.net
FROM: martin.blank@fandomhigh.net
SUBJECT: Tube Cleaning Duties
Dear Tubey,
I think that little robot of yours sucks as a maid. I'd like to offer my services and my own personal supply of windex to help clean your tube every Saturday for the rest of the year.
Sincerely,
Martin Blank.
Marty then pulled the plug from the outlet.
Again, nice try but I have a battery. I can do this for hours. Idiot.
[MESSAGE SENT]
How about this message?
TO: angel@fandomhigh.net
CC: callisto@fandomhigh.net
FROM: martin.blank@fandomhigh.net
Subject: Ferret Sex
Angel,
Remember that voicemail you got? Well the offer is still open if you are interested. Come on down anytime, big boy.
-M
"Oh shit!"
Message will be sent in 10... 9... 8...
"What do you want me to do?" Marty typed in.
TO: All Students
FROM: martin.blank@fandomhigh.net
SUBJECT: Bunnies
My name is Martin Blank and I love bunnies. They are so soft and fluffy. All I want to do is pat the bunny.
Pat. Pat. Pat. Pat the bunny.
Would you like to pat the bunny? E-mail me back and we can talk about it.
Love,
Marty
[SEND MESSAGE? Y/N]
Marty sighed and pressed the "Y" key.
Very good, Mr. Blank. Today your password is "ima$chmuck". Tomorrow? It'll be something different.
Ever try to mess with Parker again? E-mail will be the least of your problems.
"Great," Marty muttered as he typed in his new password. "Just great."