Time for some poll spam.

[obeliamedusa]

This is an article about calling women "ma'am."  I thought it was interesting, because I know there are a variety of feelings on the subject among my female acquaintances, but I've always liked being called "ma'am"!  Makes me feel important.  >:-D  Also, I was very pleased by the Star Trek: Voyager reference in the article.  Yay, Captain Janeway

Comments

[obeliamedusa]

Interesting! Is "sir" similarly exclusive in the UK? Are there other polite terms that are used more commonly?

[dreamflower02]

I think in the US, it has a lot to do with where you're raised. Where I grew up in the Deep South, children are taught to call all adults or even those just a little older then they are "ma'am" and "sir". The first time anyone called me "ma'am" I was only thirteen, and babysitting for a 5 and 7 year old, and their mother insisted they call me "ma'am".

[shirebound]

If someone called me ma'am, I would assume that they were very polite and brought up respecting women.

[obeliamedusa]

Yes! Yes! That is generally how I interpret it, too.

[dreamflower02]

*nods* Yes, exactly!

[nixnivis]

The closest we have to "ma'am" in Swedish (and that's my perspective here) is probably "damen", lady. We do have missus/miss as well, but those are mostly used by men who are either intoxicated or selling something. *eyeroll* It's not very common.

I don't like being called any of those things - it's not common, and I don't see why it's necessary for a stranger to use an epithet for me at all. I know I'm a woman, there's no need for any man (because it's ONLY men who'd call a woman miss/missus/lady, never another woman) to point it out to me to make himself feel superior - because IMO, all those names are just different versions of "girl". And like Signe, I don't much like being patted on the head - but unlike her, I bite if you try it. :-P

[obeliamedusa]

because it's ONLY men who'd call a woman miss/missus/lady, never another woman

Now that's interesting! It's my impression that in North America at least, both men and women call women "ma'am" and men "sir." I've certainly been called "ma'am" by male and female customer service types alike.

Is there a male equivalent in Swedish, like "sir," that only a woman would say to a man, that men would not say to each other?

[dreamflower02]

Hmm... that's very interesting! In the US, I think the use of "ma'am" is geographical, rather than gender oriented. In the Deep South states, children of both genders are taught to call all adults "ma'am" and "sir", and are considered rude if they do not.

This can cause problems in other parts of the country. I know a friend of mine moved to another more Northern state, and his son was reprimanded by his teacher as being sarcastic and *DIS*respectful for saying "ma'am" to her!

[dreamflower02]

Well, I'm a Southern girl, born and bred, and "Ma'am" is not only polite in the circles in which I grew up, but a lack of "ma'am"-ing was considered downright rude if it were a younger person addressing an older! I was thirteen the first time I was "ma'am"ed-- I was babysitting, and the tots not only "ma'am"ed me, they also called me "Miss Barbara", which made me feel immensely grown-up!

I say both "ma'am" and "sir" to customers, unless they are children or teens, or unless I have come to know them, in which case I may "hon" or "dear" or "sweetie" them. I will usually "sweetie" the kids.

And I expect to *be* "ma'am"ed by someone younger than I am-- my son still says "ma'am" and "sir" to me and his dad, and he's now in his thirties! We brought him up right, so far as manners go!

And, sorry, no-- it's not negative, it's not meant to say one is old or frumpy. It is respect, pure and simple, unless the person is being sarcastic.

[ramblin_rosie]

Exactly. It's just the polite thing to do. In fact, it makes me feel more awkward to be told *not* to say "ma'am" and "sir"!

[dreamflower02]

In fact, it makes me feel more awkward to be told *not* to say "ma'am" and "sir"!

*nods* It always seems a little hostile and defensive when someone says "Oh, don't say 'ma'am' to me! It makes me sound old!"

[mumstheword54]

I'll second y'all's comments and add just a little:

"Ma'am and sir" are common courtesy throughout Texas as well as the South (and I'm assuming, Oklahoma and Kansas).

In the US Military, ALL superiors are addressed as "Sir" or "Ma'am" by ALL subordinates, and most military parents instill that same form of respect in their children.

In the same way, at least in Texas, ALL subjects are addressed by peace officers as "Ma'am" or "Sir" -- whether or not they are respectable people; it's not only common courtesy and shows respect to respectable citizens, but in some cases it elevates down-and-out people to a respected level and makes them more willing to cooperate with the officers. (Of course, in other cases, it gives perpetrators a false sense of security and superiority and can lead them to give themselves away.)

So count me in favor of "Ma'am" and "Sir"!

[tempest_415]

If you are addressing a person and don't know their name, then they are "ma'am", "miss" or "sir" unless you intend to be disrespectful. The "ma'am" takes the place of the name. Leaving it off implies that the person you are talking to is your inferior.
I view people who say,"don't ma'am me", in much the way I view people who say, "don't Merry Christmas me"---as self centered, rude persons who throw respect or good wishes back in the face of the person who has offered them.