Comments | oboro_hime: A Second Chance, Part 2

oboro_hime

A Second Chance, Part 2

Mar 20, 2007 21:57

~*~*~*~*~*~

Oboro once again dreamt of Tenzen forcing himself on her, and she woke up screaming in terror, sitting straight up despite the pain from her wound. Gennosuke immediately sat up and held her close to him, running his hand soothingly through her hair.

"Shhh, koi, it's alright," he whispered softly. "I'm here, I won't let anyone harm you."

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Comments 6

wistful_nana_o March 21 2007, 02:02:29 UTC

Interesting add... I like the little plot your adding to the core of the story; it makes it more alluring moreso than it currently is ♥

oboro_hime March 21 2007, 02:14:52 UTC

Thank you ♥ This one is going to take forever to go where I want it to go, but I know that it will be worth it. Too bad I can't publish it! :P *giggles*

wistful_nana_o March 22 2007, 01:31:23 UTC

The more addy stuff is love, I like how they all interacted ^_^ I can't wait for you two write even moooore! :D :D :D

oboro_hime March 22 2007, 01:45:12 UTC

*blushes* hehehe...ty ♥

wistful_nana_o March 22 2007, 02:37:55 UTC

yvwwww

wistful_nana_o March 22 2007, 02:37:23 UTC

Hmmm.... nice... new add, it's very cool ♥ but, you might want to make Gennosuke a bit more less emotional. In such times, he would be; other than that, it's friggin perfect... ♥ also, Oboro should adress Hyouma as Hyouma-dono because he is her elder, and Gennosuke's former mentor ♥ but your writing style is so beautiful, it has taken my breath away <3