RP LOG with gr8muppetyodin | Asking for help
[Follows THIS]
The sun hadn't quite set in the distance and it was just bordering on dusk in Paris. Likely unexpectedly, Blaise was standing out on the main balcony of his huge and sprawling mansion, looking out at the sun setting in the distance. He had on a midnight-blue suit with a black silk shirt and matching tie, and over the top was a full length jacket. He also had on black silk gloves and a silk scarf tied loosely around his throat with dark sunglasses topping off the look. He had his mobile phone pressed to his ear, and was having an intense conversation in fluent and fiery French to the caller on the other end of the line. There was a hell of a lot going on in his life at the moment, but no matter where his heart was lying at that point, he still had his City to oversee and business to deal with. News had just come that a young policewoman had been attacked on duty, but had absconded from the Emergency Room at the local hospital. It was suspected she had been Embraced against her will, and although this wasn't the sort of 'business' Blaise would ever personally step into and take care of, he still had to be kept informed by his Primogens.
Currently, the conversation was with his Kindred police liason, who needed Blaise's authority to track the possible perpertrators. There was also, obviously, queries as to the likelihood that it was linked to Rory Buchanan's attack, but there were no likenesses in the two events. Blaise sensed a presence behind him, somewhere in the very close vicinity. Buffy. Not Juliette, as he expected. His mate had sent him a few messages earlier in the day informing him that she needed to discuss Rory with him, but so far Blaise had put it off. As long as he was aware Rory's condition was okay, discussions as to anything beyond that could wait. Blaise had been kept informed that Rory had been ill earlier in the day and was still sleeping for long periods of time. That was adequate for the moment, and Blaise had no cause for concern. He ended the call, the phone held loosely in his gloved hand as he turned and found Buffy standing in the doorway. "Is there something you require, mademoiselle?" he asked her calmly and moved over to the door to step inside out of the dim remaining evening light.
"Bonsoir to you too, Blaise," Buffy murmured in answer to the question. Maybe a hello really was expecting too much. The glasses were also throwing off her first job of finding out if his eyes were silver or not. He was talking to her - sort of - so that had to be a good sign, right? Buffy bit down on her lip as she just watched him for a long moment. She was also thinking about the fact that she really did love him. There was no doubt any more, no hesitation. It had happened. She just didn't have a chance to be happy about it yet. "What was your name before you were Embraced?"
Blaise looked at her uncertainly, taken aback by the question. He wasn't sure if he told her, but he had pointed her in the direction of texts about his life if she had wanted to read them. He was starting to wonder if she just expected cue cards or a personal tutor on the whole subject. He put his phone into the pocket of his coat and pushed his sunglasses up onto his head. "Prince Rainier Mathieu of France," he replied, unable to stop the small, confused frown appearing on his face. He was so tired of reaching roadblocks with her, and found himself always on guard for more she might throw at him. "Is there a specific reason you require to know? There is extensive information available in the library. Perhaps I can pay someone to put them on talking books for you." Yes, it was sarcasm, albeit long-suffering. It wasn't a matter of not having anymore patience for it, it was just him beginning to think that if things were going to be this much of a battle all the time with her, then maybe it was just obvious they weren't meant to be connected. In fact, he had been considering offering an avenue to remove his claim over her, but it had been a thought in the back of his mind only for now. "And next time, I will greet you with a fanfare and a red carpet if that is more to your taste," he added and stepped beyond her further into his home.
Buffy rubbed her hand over her face as she fought the urge to just punch him in the arm for being a French jerk. This was the man she loved? Her ponytail swished as she turned to follow him with her gaze, and then took a couple steps back into the mansion. "Look, I'm not asking you this to piss you off, okay? I'm not. It's not some conspiracy, or some way to show you how stupid I am. I know where the books are, and I know I can read them. I will read them, but you know what? I was actually just trying to have a conversation with you. There are some things I like hearing from you and not from a book. Just like I'm not about to point you in the direction of Giles' Slayer diaries so you can read about me. I actually want to just tell you things, talk to you. Like, my middle name is Anne, only clearly my parents were digging on some hippy vibe when they went with Buffy as my first name. I did find out there's a French singer called Buffy Saint-Marie, though. I was just wondering about your name because I've been thinking about... um, the baby."
"From me? Really? Are you even going to listen?" Blaise returned calmly. "I have better things to do with my time than talk to people who only select details of what I am saying to suit their own needs. I know all about you, Buffy. I do not need Slayer diaries, as strange as it is to hear such things exist. I listen when you speak to me, completely and wholly. I remember your middle name is Anne, you have told me that before. I also remember that your friends' names are Xander, and Willow. That your exes are Riley and Angel, with a brief reference to Spike. That you lived in Sunnydale and your mother, rest her soul, died of cancer but your father is not in your life. That you have a younger sister named Dawn, and you have nearly lost your life twice. That your mother used your bedroom as storage when you went away to college, and that you started Slaying when you were sixteen, give or take. I do not understand, however, how your child has anything to do with me."
"Well, I know that you were the son of King Louis. I know that you were Embraced against your will, I know that you worked hard to make sure this place stayed in your family's possession. In your possession. You keep tabs on your ancestors, but Emmeline's been the only one you stepped in personally with. You just waited until she was of age. I think that's because you actually felt an affinity with her. She was thought to have died as a baby, but she didn't. She survived. And you made sure she was looked after, but didn't meet her until she was of age. You also didn't want her Embraced. It was a battle for you. And I learned that Mathieu is named after you. I saw him briefly, but I haven't spoken to him. He and Emmeline seem to enjoy being, um... alone. You saved him. Although sometimes I wonder if you think of Embracing as being saved, or if you just know it's better than true death. You link sex and biting, but when it all comes down to it sex is an important deal for you." Buffy sucked in a breath and exhaled it slowly. "You love your City. You're all about it, and your people. You're a beloved Prince, a successful businessman. Everything in your life still comes back to that. You can't do anything that would jeopardise either, or the Masquerade."
Blaise listened to her quietly, his face unreadable. "And where in my world do you believe you fit, Buffy? Because as far as I can see, especially now, it does not look plausible. What you just listed to me now is barely scratching the surface. It was what can be see in the plain light of day. Emmeline is only a very new factor in this whole thing, and alas, I can see that you have been speaking to her in depth. I still am at a loss as to how you expect me to accept you into my world in the situation you have gotten yourself into. There is a reason I did not meet Emmeline until she was of age. Mathieu was a favour to his dear father."
Buffy moved right up to Blaise so that there was hardly any space between him and tilted her head back so she could hold his gaze. "I love you. That's how I fit. I'm not a Slayer anymore. I'm retired. This baby thing, it's going to be weird and I realise that you don't exactly want a kid involved in your world, but I didn't plan this, and the truth is I need your help. I need to see a doctor to find out what's going on, and as you no doubt remember, my French still isn't so great. I'm working on it! It's just slow going."
Blaise stiffened as she got closer and his eyes narrowed slightly. It felt so wrong for him to be this close to her, like it was supposed to be someone else's territory. He had never experienced this before, and he had no idea how to work through it. Fighting off natural instinct never came easy. "Please do not touch me," he requested of her quietly, as much as it hurt him deep inside to say it. He wanted so much for things to work out and he had wished she could be what he needed, but right now, he was in a lot of pain from what had been discovered. "Do you even know who the father is?" he asked. He was trying to stay calm here, but all it felt like was some sort of punishment. Nothing with Buffy he could ever get right. Not a thing.
Buffy looked at him a moment longer before she took a step back and dipped her head to look at her feet. She'd just told him she loved him, and his answer was for her to touch him. At least his eyes hadn't gone silver. That was still a point on her side. She wrapped her arms tight around herself as she felt her shoulders drop and she rubbed her toe against the rug. "Given that Riley's sure we used protection - and it's true - I'm pretty sure it's Rory, but obviously he doesn't want to accept that without proof. I need help with that."
"So, the answer is that non, you do not know who the father is," Blaise corrected. He rested his tongue between his lips as he sorted through the situation in his mind. "Love, Buffy. I believe you and I have very, very different definitions of that. If you believe that it is Rory's, then perhaps you should start thinking about the consequences of that. How do you honestly expect Juliette and myself to feel about this? That we should just think it was wonderful that our potential lovers are off making bundles of joy together? All I felt when I realised the truth was a furious envy. And I felt very, very alone. More alone than I have felt in an extremely long time. I felt hurt, and I felt... used. I felt like I had been made an absolute joke out of."
"I didn't do this do this on purpose! I'm not pregnant to make a joke out of you. I'm pregnant because humans are stupid and accidents happen." Buffy lifted her gaze to look up at him. "I don't want you to feel alone, I don't want you to feel hurt or used. Blaise, I... I don't know what we're all supposed to do with this baby. I don't know because I can't plan anything until I do know who the father is. Until there's something concrete to grasp onto. This isn't a bundle of joy. Don't you at least get that? It's a shock, and a surprise. And I don't think it does fit into anyone's life right now, but all I do know is that being a mom is something I never thought would happen to me. I never let myself stop and think about it because I never thought I'd live long enough for it to happen."
"Well, félicitations. Now you have that chance," Blaise murmured and started to unwind the scarf from around his neck now that he was in out of the sun. He started to head towards his office, refusing to have discussions like this in the hallways. He had staff that were trying to work, they didn't need to be overhearing anything like this. "Your baby, Buffy. You created it. It is your responsibility. There is no such thing as solely your life now anymore. It is to fit for you whether you think it should or not."
Buffy followed after him, striding quickly so that she could keep up. Maybe he wasn't trying to be in a hurry, but Kindred could move fast when they wanted to. "But does it fit for you? Is there no way it could fit for you?" she finally asked him when they were closer to his office. "Do I really not... No, you know what? I'm going to fit. You're going to help me see a doctor, and then I'm going to fit. I'm not giving up on us, Blaise. It hasn't been easy. I haven't made it easy, and things just keep coming between us, but I'm not giving up."
Blaise sighed as he slapped the light on in his study and shoved the door open. He went over to his desk and unloaded his phone and wallet from his pockets, to place next to the scarf he dumped on top of his laptop. He stood behind his desk, working to succinctly remove his gloves as he watched her closely. "I have no interest in infants, Buffy. There is no room in them for my world. You do know what royalty do with infants, do you not? In my time, there were servants, maids, governesses. I am not tainting an innocent infant with Kindred touch. What do you want from me, for god's sake?!" he finally exploded in frustration. "A father for your baby? That is not going to happen. Me to be a wonderful and adoring uncle? Non. What do you honestly think I do all night, week in, week out? Sit around looking like an expensive piece of the furniture while I have minions running around doing my bidding?"
Buffy threw her hands up as she nearly growled back. "Of course I don't! I would never think that of you. I know you're more than furniture. Jesus, Blaise. I don't want you to be the father. The baby has a father... whoever it might be. I don't need you to be an uncle, either. If the baby is Rory's then... I want him to be able to be the father. I think this could be something good for him. At this point he doesn't even want Juliette to be in his life romantically, so to be perfectly honest her reaction isn't quite relevant. I know it'll effect her. Just like it effects you, but there's nothing I can do to stop it. What I want from you is to just stop thinking of me as something you need to fight. Stop fighting me and just let me touch you! Let me love you, and let me be there for you."
Blaise rested his hand across the back of his neck and close his eyes briefly, pressing his lips together. It was almost like he could sense Rory as the father. Almost. He couldn't be sure. All Blaise was getting were some serious hands-off vibes and it was literally giving him a headache as he tried to fight it. The more he had been in Rory's head lately, the more empathy he had and this was just like some sort of internal battle of power he was struggling with. Like Rory had ownership over Buffy that was fighting against Blaise's claim. "I have to fight you, Buffy!" he cried helplessly. "If you touch me, I will lose it!"
"For how long?" Buffy choked out. She could see he was struggling, and she did understand it. They were animalistic, right? And Riley had pointed out this was going to be hard for Blaise. She was pregnant by another man. Buffy just couldn't understand why there wasn't some way around it. "Until the baby's born? Forever? Am I just permanently marked by someone else I don't even love?! No matter who the father is, Blaise, they don't want me like that. Like you could. I'm yours! I'm yours as much as I can be, because you're right in that I also have to share my life with the baby, but I guess now that makes me a package deal. I'm not going to touch you, okay? I'm not. But I just... How long?"
Blaise felt the frustration build up him, and veer into an urge to get her as far out of his presence as he could. His eyes shifted to silver and he glanced at her uncertainly before he started to pace back and forth behind his desk, forcing himself to reign in the reactions. When he looked back at her again after a few long moments, his eyes were normal again, though he was keeping a safe distance for the moment. "I do not know. You think I have ever been in a position like this before? I have not. Rory is within me right now. Can you understand how this is for me if he is the father? I have a claim telling me to be close to you, but another drain that is possibly telling me to keep you as far away from me as possible."
Buffy saw the shift and even though Blaise was staying on the other side of the desk, she backed up to the point she was standing near one of his bookcases. It was hard for her not to take some kind of defensive stance. She wasn't really expecting Blaise to attack, but Kindred were still new to her and although she knew the silver eyes were bad - that didn't mean she knew what he was going to do. Even if when they turned back to normal she watched him warily. Rory had just said to leave Blaise alone if the eyes were silver. "Can't you just... have words with the drain? Have words with Rory? Is there no kind of release for the drain?"
"Not until he returns to strength," Blaise replied quietly. He waved his hand a little from where he had come to stand still. "Whatever you need you can have it. Jaquelynne can arrange appointments with any professionals you need. My driver can take you there," he added distractedly. He wondered why things had to take such a downward turn without all this. All he wanted was someone to love and instead he gets some sort of soap opera snapshot that he can't fit into his life at all. It just felt like too much. No matter what she was standing there saying, he was starting to doubt now that he could find the ability to love her anymore. "I can have you released from the claim, however."
"No," Buffy said in immediate reply. "I don't need to be released. I don't want to be released. If you want to release me, then that's up to you, Blaise. I might not need it to keep loving you, but I guess I'm selfish enough to still want a connection to you. If you really don't want to be connected to me, then do it."
Blaise shot her an exasperated look. "I cannot without your permission," he insisted, and started pacing again when he realised he was back to square one. He wanted to be connected to her, not someone else's fetus. It wasn't like he would have the ability to bond with the child, and he certainly wasn't the sort to be any kind of parental figure. He finally sat down at his desk, knowing that if he kept pacing, he would keep walking and might not come back. He rested his elbow on the desk, rubbing his fingers over his lips as he glanced at her again. "There is no way this can work."
Buffy moved to the nearest chair and sank down in it as she held his gaze. Her stomach flipped before it started to get that sinking feeling, but she was still annoyingly stubborn. She wasn't giving up, and if he needed to remove the claim with her permission, he wasn't getting it. "Wait until I see the doctor before you say that. Please. We can at least find out the father. Give me until Rory's better. I'm not just gonna give up like that."
"And what do you think is going to happen after all of that?" Blaise asked with a mix of genuine curiosity and bewilderment. "The world is suddenly going to change? I suddenly stop being Kindred with animalistic tendencies? The baby forever remains to be a fetus within you? What happens if Rory regains his strength and you discover he is the father?"
"What do you expect to happen?" Buffy shot back. "He doesn't hate you. He doesn't want me. He's not going to try and stop you from being with me. He told me to come and see you, to ask you for help. He's done nothing but try and get me to understand what I need to do so I don't lose you. If he regains his strength then you don't have the drain voice inside you telling you to stay away from me. If he is the father, then you at least know who you're dealing with. You don't hate Rory. I think you'd actually do anything you could for him because he understands Kindred, and he's a friend. Maybe right now you're confused about that part, but once the baby's out am I really going to seem like his girl anymore?"
Blaise blinked and gave his head a slight shake. "I meant in general. Do you still have feelings for him?" he asked, trying to follow her train of thought. The question wasn't accusatory, more like he just needed an honest answer. "I meant with your life, with the child. I did not mean in reference to Rory. He is a non-entity in that I know if he is the father, you will have his full support unconditionally. He has all that to give you, no strings."
Buffy gave a shake of her head. "No, I don't. I'll always care about him, he's my friend. There's a lot of things I admire about him. And if there wasn't you, then maybe I would want him, but you're here and I don't. He's a non-entity that way. Maybe he's the father, but he's not my lover. But in general, I know that I definitely won't be going back to Slaying. I can't. There's been a Slayer with a kid before me, but I don't want that for my child. I've seen who they grow up to be." Buffy's eyebrows formed a deep frown as she thought about Robin. Maybe he had been an ally in the end, but his hunger for revenge against Spike had nearly ended everything. "I guess the only question is if I can stay in France, or if I'll need to go back to Scotland. If it's Rory's and he goes back... I might not have a choice."
"That is not my business to answer," Blaise replied, and as far as he was concerned, that really wasn't the only question here. In fact, he was sure he could fill a whole notebook with questions right now. He started to trace his fingertip over the ingrained gold crest on his desk, falling silent for a few moments. "I was led to believe your decision to give up slaying had already been made."
Buffy pulled her mouth to the side. "It was, but this is like... I feel like this is the answer to what I was supposed to do with my retirement. Maybe I don't need guns, or the military. For a few years maybe I'm just a mom. I don't know, Blaise. I don't know how this is going to go, and I'm sorry I can't give you the answer. I've never been in this position before."
"Mm," Blaise hummed in agreement. His phone started buzzing with an incoming call, but he barely even glanced at it, making no move to pick it up. At the end of the day, he was still in a high position of power and if he didn't feel like catering to someone, he wouldn't. Any missed calls got diverted to Jaquelynne anyway, so if Paris was about to explode in a zombie invasion or something, he would soon hear. "I am Mathieu's godfather," he finally admitted to her with a small glance in her direction. It was like some sort of revelation. Truth was, he had things to do with infants, just nothing where he had direct authority over them.
Buffy leaned forward in her chair as she rest her elbows on her knees, watching him closely now. It still amazed her that Blaise could look like he had stubble. In fact, he did have stubble. She'd never thought that vampires would have facial hair, and yet here was the proof. There was a small part of her that was sure it was just unique to Blaise though. "But you couldn't connect to him until he was older?" she asked him quietly. "How do you feel about having him here?"
Blaise looked at her with a faint hint of insecurity at the way she was scrutinising him. "Do I have something on my nose?" he asked, and put his hand up to rub at it anyway, indicating that he really could still have very human moments now and again. "Non, I have connected with him since he was a bebe. Just probably not in the same sense most godfathers would. I will tear him to shreds if he hurts Emmeline, but he knows that. It is not something I need to keep telling him. He is always welcome here. I made a promise to his father that I would take care of him if ever he was to be absent. Not a ncessary promise. I am his Sire, that goes without saying. He is an extremely smart boy, very skilled in many areas."
Buffy cracked a smile as she pushed her bangs out of her eyes. "No, sweetheart, you don't. I was just looking at your stubble. It's very sexy, and something I love about you. Who knew the idea of stubble rash could be a turn on? But again, not about to touch you or try and kiss you. It was still a promise the father probably needed to hear, and that shows that you do care. A Ventrue at heart?"
Blaise touched his cheek absentmindedly. He had forgotten to take care of that earlier that day. He was increasingly distracted lately, it was a task to stay focused and retain his strength. He was fortunate that unlike humans, it didn't itch when it got to this point, and it was a lot easier to forget about. It also would just stop when it got a certain length. "His father is elderly, reaching his end. He has requested often of late that I continue to watch over Mathieu when he passes. His father was a long-time close confidante of mine before he was forced to retire. Even then, he hung on until his late eighties in my employ. Nothing would keep him down. But Mathieu grew up in that environment, he was just extremely reckless. His father nearly died himself of grief at the thought of losing his son."
"I'm so sorry, but if his father's only just near his end then Mathieu must still be quite young as far as Kindred are concerned. Is he like a toddler in your terms? They're your family. This is what family's about. It's not blood. Not everything is blood. Sometimes it comes down to connections, and bonds. The invisible threads that joins you to someone." Buffy sat back so Blaise wasn't feeling so paranoid still, and crossed her legs over. "Is Mathieu unusual in that he stayed with his father?"
"Mathieu was Embraced approximately fifty years ago. He was in a serious motorcycle accident and would not have survived. The thing about being Kindred is that it generally gives you free reign to be reckless and you do not risk things like deceasing in motor vehicle accidents. He did not stop being reckless and a free spirit. He just did not pass on from this world," Blaise explained with a faint smirk. He knew very much how Mathieu was, and also how he was with Emmeline. This was the first time in many months they had been in each other's presence. It would be interesting to see what the outcome was. "He is not unusual, non. Family is still family. He loves his father dearly."
Buffy listened carefully, her gaze shifting to a small statue on Blaise's desk. It looked like it was Art Noveau, but she had never been good at guessing. Not like her Mom whose life had been art. "Do you think the family minds? Would it be easier knowing someone wanted that life?"
Blaise wasn't sure what she meant and he looked at her in confusion. "Why would his family mind? Mathieu was able to keep his life, just in turn it means he will outlive them all. He does not have a large family. Him and his father were close because of that. He lost his mother at an early age. I do not know what is easier. I have never been in that position. Moralistically, though, Mathieu's father had legal and medical authority to turn the life support off and kill his son. Why not have the same choice to save him?"
"I don't know. I guess I was just wondering. I know I'm not supposed to compare, so this is just another part of me learning the differences. Getting to realise Kindred really is like nothing I've experienced. It sounds like me and my Mom, although in fairness, I was never crazy about motorcycles. Come to think of it, I've never ridden one. Can you ride?" she asked him, her eyebrows going up a little bit. "I think if there's a choice to save someone, then it should be given to them. I won't argue with that."
"I do not need to ride. I have drivers," Blaise pointed out. He was still relieved she was at a distance, helping him keep any uncontrollable flashes of his emotion to a minimum. He just wished he could reason the whole situation out more. "Mathieu took to Kindred like a duck to water. I ensured he was nurtured and taken care of. He was a lot like Emmeline in that sense. They are very similar, though being two different clans, they will both passionately deny that. They are a passionate pair, but can fight like cats and dogs when they clash. But Emmeline commands worship, and Mathieu can give her that, more than anyone else."
Buffy nodded before she tilted her head. "I thought Emmeline just hadn't found anyone worthy of her love? If she has Mathieu why doesn't she just take him as a mate, or something? When did you know with Juliette that she was mate material? And I know you have drivers, but don't you ever just want to get out on your own? Your drivers could always just follow you."
"So she says. She is very head strong and stubborn. She knows if she submits to love, it is a forever thing. It is not that simple. It may appear to be like a marriage, but it is not. It is asking to be bound to someone forever, not til death us to part. Emmeline will only take someone who agrees to be her equal. She will not ever be completely submissive to anyone. She would be miserable if she did. She would probably end up killing them," Blaise admitted with a hint of amusement, though he was only half joking. "Juliette and myself never discussed it. It just simply occurred. It was beyond us. A mutual, yet instinctual agreement. I am always out on my own, Buffy. I am just very good at concealing. I am constantly completely aware of my city at all times."
Buffy looked back at the statue on his desk as she considered what it would be like to be that joined to someone. Riley was right. There was something about it that was pretty appealing. She wasn't sure Rory would feel the same. She also wondered if his brother, Logan, would consider being Embraced just to be joined like that to Aiden. Would Aiden even want to Embrace Logan? Would Blaise ever consider Embracing Buffy, or getting someone else to do it if she wasn't Ventrue material? Her brow furrowed again in deep thought, and she realised she'd been quiet for a long time. "I can't really blame her for wanting to be sure before she did something like that. Part of me just can't help thinking about what it would be like to be that in love with someone, that connected to someone that you are bound to them. You can't exactly be mated with more than one person though, can you? And humans and Kindred don't get bound. Just claimed, and in love. Can you be married, but still have a mate? Maybe one day you can show me around your city."
Blaise shifted restlessly in his chair to lean back in it now. That wasn't entirely to do with Buffy, even if it was a good portion. He hadn't fed for the duration of the day and he was starting to get that uneasy hunger building inside him. Not unlike hunger pangs in humans, only all over. "Mating is not about love, it is about connection and companionship. It is why you will often see Kindred marry as well as mate together. Two different threads. But often, mates are not in romantic relationships. It all still comes down to having someone that you trust with your life to co-exist with. When the world shifts and changes around you, when people enter your life and pass on, you still have one soul to stay tethered to or grief would destroy us. Humans have such a short life span. The reason there is something such as mateship and claiming in our kind is because we have had so long to evolve it. It is really not about just wanting someone so you do not have to go to sleep alone at night. Very far from it. The city I see, Buffy, is not one I wish you privvy to. I do not mean that as offensive."
"It's okay, I won't take offence. I get it." Buffy pointed a thumb to the door behind her. "And I don't mean this to be offensive, or seem like some kinda retreat, but do you want me to leave so you can eat? See, I'm getting to learn which restless moves mean what when it comes to you. Or at least the hunger pangs. Otherwise you can eat in front of me. Just so you know. It doesn't bother me. I'm evolving too. Just slowly. Well, truth is I'm glad Kindred have something like mates. I really can't imagine living so long without some kind of deep bond being formed with another one of my kind."
"You are pregnant, I cannot feed in front of you." Though, as soon as the words were out of his mouth, he realised he had no real grounding for him. It was just some sort of inner reaction kicking in, and he actually frowned slightly as he analysed his own comment. He gave a small shake of his head to clear it. "Well, Emmeline is adamant she does not need anyone to survive and so far, she has coped many years without. Theoretically, however, her match just might not have come along until Mathieu. He certainly gets under her skin, and vice versa. They are very... passionate around each other. So I apologise in advance if you accidentally come across them in that state."
Buffy's eyebrows went up at Blaise's comment before she snorted with disapproval. And he thought stupid things came out of her her mouth. "Right, I'm diseased. Maybe I should just get out now. I wouldn't want my pregnant to rub off on you in anyway. Or to put you off your appetite now that you have one. No, no. It's okay. I've already heard some of their, ah, passionate encounters. It's definitely something."
Blaise frowned, really not liking the implied insults veiled in her tone or her words. "Then perhaps you should leave," he bit out.
Buffy let out a breath before she raised her hands in surrender and then stood. "I'm sorry, that was unfair. I just... I'm not handicapped. I'm still me. I just have a baby on board. I know we're not going to know what the hell to do right now. I'll just talk to you another time. At least I can talk to Jaquelynne about the appointments. I really am sorry, Blaise."
"You are not Kindred either. Just be satisfied that you are never going to completely understand how or why I react to things," Blaise added, though the small frown was now one of confusion more than anything else. "Jaquelynne's office is in our east wing. She will not be too far away."
Buffy took a step forward like she was going to try and kiss him goodnight, but she did an awkward wave instead and pointed at the door again. "I'll go find her. Thanks for... ah, thanks. Have a good night. Good meal... Take care, Blaise." Buffy slipped out of the door just in time to facepalm herself. She was back to saying the stupid things, and just hoped she pulled it together in time to be able to talk to Jaquelynne without putting her foot in her mouth. She also hoped that there was some way Blaise could get past the pregnancy.
Word Count | 6,618
The sun hadn't quite set in the distance and it was just bordering on dusk in Paris. Likely unexpectedly, Blaise was standing out on the main balcony of his huge and sprawling mansion, looking out at the sun setting in the distance. He had on a midnight-blue suit with a black silk shirt and matching tie, and over the top was a full length jacket. He also had on black silk gloves and a silk scarf tied loosely around his throat with dark sunglasses topping off the look. He had his mobile phone pressed to his ear, and was having an intense conversation in fluent and fiery French to the caller on the other end of the line. There was a hell of a lot going on in his life at the moment, but no matter where his heart was lying at that point, he still had his City to oversee and business to deal with. News had just come that a young policewoman had been attacked on duty, but had absconded from the Emergency Room at the local hospital. It was suspected she had been Embraced against her will, and although this wasn't the sort of 'business' Blaise would ever personally step into and take care of, he still had to be kept informed by his Primogens.
Currently, the conversation was with his Kindred police liason, who needed Blaise's authority to track the possible perpertrators. There was also, obviously, queries as to the likelihood that it was linked to Rory Buchanan's attack, but there were no likenesses in the two events. Blaise sensed a presence behind him, somewhere in the very close vicinity. Buffy. Not Juliette, as he expected. His mate had sent him a few messages earlier in the day informing him that she needed to discuss Rory with him, but so far Blaise had put it off. As long as he was aware Rory's condition was okay, discussions as to anything beyond that could wait. Blaise had been kept informed that Rory had been ill earlier in the day and was still sleeping for long periods of time. That was adequate for the moment, and Blaise had no cause for concern. He ended the call, the phone held loosely in his gloved hand as he turned and found Buffy standing in the doorway. "Is there something you require, mademoiselle?" he asked her calmly and moved over to the door to step inside out of the dim remaining evening light.
"Bonsoir to you too, Blaise," Buffy murmured in answer to the question. Maybe a hello really was expecting too much. The glasses were also throwing off her first job of finding out if his eyes were silver or not. He was talking to her - sort of - so that had to be a good sign, right? Buffy bit down on her lip as she just watched him for a long moment. She was also thinking about the fact that she really did love him. There was no doubt any more, no hesitation. It had happened. She just didn't have a chance to be happy about it yet. "What was your name before you were Embraced?"
Blaise looked at her uncertainly, taken aback by the question. He wasn't sure if he told her, but he had pointed her in the direction of texts about his life if she had wanted to read them. He was starting to wonder if she just expected cue cards or a personal tutor on the whole subject. He put his phone into the pocket of his coat and pushed his sunglasses up onto his head. "Prince Rainier Mathieu of France," he replied, unable to stop the small, confused frown appearing on his face. He was so tired of reaching roadblocks with her, and found himself always on guard for more she might throw at him. "Is there a specific reason you require to know? There is extensive information available in the library. Perhaps I can pay someone to put them on talking books for you." Yes, it was sarcasm, albeit long-suffering. It wasn't a matter of not having anymore patience for it, it was just him beginning to think that if things were going to be this much of a battle all the time with her, then maybe it was just obvious they weren't meant to be connected. In fact, he had been considering offering an avenue to remove his claim over her, but it had been a thought in the back of his mind only for now. "And next time, I will greet you with a fanfare and a red carpet if that is more to your taste," he added and stepped beyond her further into his home.
Buffy rubbed her hand over her face as she fought the urge to just punch him in the arm for being a French jerk. This was the man she loved? Her ponytail swished as she turned to follow him with her gaze, and then took a couple steps back into the mansion. "Look, I'm not asking you this to piss you off, okay? I'm not. It's not some conspiracy, or some way to show you how stupid I am. I know where the books are, and I know I can read them. I will read them, but you know what? I was actually just trying to have a conversation with you. There are some things I like hearing from you and not from a book. Just like I'm not about to point you in the direction of Giles' Slayer diaries so you can read about me. I actually want to just tell you things, talk to you. Like, my middle name is Anne, only clearly my parents were digging on some hippy vibe when they went with Buffy as my first name. I did find out there's a French singer called Buffy Saint-Marie, though. I was just wondering about your name because I've been thinking about... um, the baby."
"From me? Really? Are you even going to listen?" Blaise returned calmly. "I have better things to do with my time than talk to people who only select details of what I am saying to suit their own needs. I know all about you, Buffy. I do not need Slayer diaries, as strange as it is to hear such things exist. I listen when you speak to me, completely and wholly. I remember your middle name is Anne, you have told me that before. I also remember that your friends' names are Xander, and Willow. That your exes are Riley and Angel, with a brief reference to Spike. That you lived in Sunnydale and your mother, rest her soul, died of cancer but your father is not in your life. That you have a younger sister named Dawn, and you have nearly lost your life twice. That your mother used your bedroom as storage when you went away to college, and that you started Slaying when you were sixteen, give or take. I do not understand, however, how your child has anything to do with me."
"Well, I know that you were the son of King Louis. I know that you were Embraced against your will, I know that you worked hard to make sure this place stayed in your family's possession. In your possession. You keep tabs on your ancestors, but Emmeline's been the only one you stepped in personally with. You just waited until she was of age. I think that's because you actually felt an affinity with her. She was thought to have died as a baby, but she didn't. She survived. And you made sure she was looked after, but didn't meet her until she was of age. You also didn't want her Embraced. It was a battle for you. And I learned that Mathieu is named after you. I saw him briefly, but I haven't spoken to him. He and Emmeline seem to enjoy being, um... alone. You saved him. Although sometimes I wonder if you think of Embracing as being saved, or if you just know it's better than true death. You link sex and biting, but when it all comes down to it sex is an important deal for you." Buffy sucked in a breath and exhaled it slowly. "You love your City. You're all about it, and your people. You're a beloved Prince, a successful businessman. Everything in your life still comes back to that. You can't do anything that would jeopardise either, or the Masquerade."
Blaise listened to her quietly, his face unreadable. "And where in my world do you believe you fit, Buffy? Because as far as I can see, especially now, it does not look plausible. What you just listed to me now is barely scratching the surface. It was what can be see in the plain light of day. Emmeline is only a very new factor in this whole thing, and alas, I can see that you have been speaking to her in depth. I still am at a loss as to how you expect me to accept you into my world in the situation you have gotten yourself into. There is a reason I did not meet Emmeline until she was of age. Mathieu was a favour to his dear father."
Buffy moved right up to Blaise so that there was hardly any space between him and tilted her head back so she could hold his gaze. "I love you. That's how I fit. I'm not a Slayer anymore. I'm retired. This baby thing, it's going to be weird and I realise that you don't exactly want a kid involved in your world, but I didn't plan this, and the truth is I need your help. I need to see a doctor to find out what's going on, and as you no doubt remember, my French still isn't so great. I'm working on it! It's just slow going."
Blaise stiffened as she got closer and his eyes narrowed slightly. It felt so wrong for him to be this close to her, like it was supposed to be someone else's territory. He had never experienced this before, and he had no idea how to work through it. Fighting off natural instinct never came easy. "Please do not touch me," he requested of her quietly, as much as it hurt him deep inside to say it. He wanted so much for things to work out and he had wished she could be what he needed, but right now, he was in a lot of pain from what had been discovered. "Do you even know who the father is?" he asked. He was trying to stay calm here, but all it felt like was some sort of punishment. Nothing with Buffy he could ever get right. Not a thing.
Buffy looked at him a moment longer before she took a step back and dipped her head to look at her feet. She'd just told him she loved him, and his answer was for her to touch him. At least his eyes hadn't gone silver. That was still a point on her side. She wrapped her arms tight around herself as she felt her shoulders drop and she rubbed her toe against the rug. "Given that Riley's sure we used protection - and it's true - I'm pretty sure it's Rory, but obviously he doesn't want to accept that without proof. I need help with that."
"So, the answer is that non, you do not know who the father is," Blaise corrected. He rested his tongue between his lips as he sorted through the situation in his mind. "Love, Buffy. I believe you and I have very, very different definitions of that. If you believe that it is Rory's, then perhaps you should start thinking about the consequences of that. How do you honestly expect Juliette and myself to feel about this? That we should just think it was wonderful that our potential lovers are off making bundles of joy together? All I felt when I realised the truth was a furious envy. And I felt very, very alone. More alone than I have felt in an extremely long time. I felt hurt, and I felt... used. I felt like I had been made an absolute joke out of."
"I didn't do this do this on purpose! I'm not pregnant to make a joke out of you. I'm pregnant because humans are stupid and accidents happen." Buffy lifted her gaze to look up at him. "I don't want you to feel alone, I don't want you to feel hurt or used. Blaise, I... I don't know what we're all supposed to do with this baby. I don't know because I can't plan anything until I do know who the father is. Until there's something concrete to grasp onto. This isn't a bundle of joy. Don't you at least get that? It's a shock, and a surprise. And I don't think it does fit into anyone's life right now, but all I do know is that being a mom is something I never thought would happen to me. I never let myself stop and think about it because I never thought I'd live long enough for it to happen."
"Well, félicitations. Now you have that chance," Blaise murmured and started to unwind the scarf from around his neck now that he was in out of the sun. He started to head towards his office, refusing to have discussions like this in the hallways. He had staff that were trying to work, they didn't need to be overhearing anything like this. "Your baby, Buffy. You created it. It is your responsibility. There is no such thing as solely your life now anymore. It is to fit for you whether you think it should or not."
Buffy followed after him, striding quickly so that she could keep up. Maybe he wasn't trying to be in a hurry, but Kindred could move fast when they wanted to. "But does it fit for you? Is there no way it could fit for you?" she finally asked him when they were closer to his office. "Do I really not... No, you know what? I'm going to fit. You're going to help me see a doctor, and then I'm going to fit. I'm not giving up on us, Blaise. It hasn't been easy. I haven't made it easy, and things just keep coming between us, but I'm not giving up."
Blaise sighed as he slapped the light on in his study and shoved the door open. He went over to his desk and unloaded his phone and wallet from his pockets, to place next to the scarf he dumped on top of his laptop. He stood behind his desk, working to succinctly remove his gloves as he watched her closely. "I have no interest in infants, Buffy. There is no room in them for my world. You do know what royalty do with infants, do you not? In my time, there were servants, maids, governesses. I am not tainting an innocent infant with Kindred touch. What do you want from me, for god's sake?!" he finally exploded in frustration. "A father for your baby? That is not going to happen. Me to be a wonderful and adoring uncle? Non. What do you honestly think I do all night, week in, week out? Sit around looking like an expensive piece of the furniture while I have minions running around doing my bidding?"
Buffy threw her hands up as she nearly growled back. "Of course I don't! I would never think that of you. I know you're more than furniture. Jesus, Blaise. I don't want you to be the father. The baby has a father... whoever it might be. I don't need you to be an uncle, either. If the baby is Rory's then... I want him to be able to be the father. I think this could be something good for him. At this point he doesn't even want Juliette to be in his life romantically, so to be perfectly honest her reaction isn't quite relevant. I know it'll effect her. Just like it effects you, but there's nothing I can do to stop it. What I want from you is to just stop thinking of me as something you need to fight. Stop fighting me and just let me touch you! Let me love you, and let me be there for you."
Blaise rested his hand across the back of his neck and close his eyes briefly, pressing his lips together. It was almost like he could sense Rory as the father. Almost. He couldn't be sure. All Blaise was getting were some serious hands-off vibes and it was literally giving him a headache as he tried to fight it. The more he had been in Rory's head lately, the more empathy he had and this was just like some sort of internal battle of power he was struggling with. Like Rory had ownership over Buffy that was fighting against Blaise's claim. "I have to fight you, Buffy!" he cried helplessly. "If you touch me, I will lose it!"
"For how long?" Buffy choked out. She could see he was struggling, and she did understand it. They were animalistic, right? And Riley had pointed out this was going to be hard for Blaise. She was pregnant by another man. Buffy just couldn't understand why there wasn't some way around it. "Until the baby's born? Forever? Am I just permanently marked by someone else I don't even love?! No matter who the father is, Blaise, they don't want me like that. Like you could. I'm yours! I'm yours as much as I can be, because you're right in that I also have to share my life with the baby, but I guess now that makes me a package deal. I'm not going to touch you, okay? I'm not. But I just... How long?"
Blaise felt the frustration build up him, and veer into an urge to get her as far out of his presence as he could. His eyes shifted to silver and he glanced at her uncertainly before he started to pace back and forth behind his desk, forcing himself to reign in the reactions. When he looked back at her again after a few long moments, his eyes were normal again, though he was keeping a safe distance for the moment. "I do not know. You think I have ever been in a position like this before? I have not. Rory is within me right now. Can you understand how this is for me if he is the father? I have a claim telling me to be close to you, but another drain that is possibly telling me to keep you as far away from me as possible."
Buffy saw the shift and even though Blaise was staying on the other side of the desk, she backed up to the point she was standing near one of his bookcases. It was hard for her not to take some kind of defensive stance. She wasn't really expecting Blaise to attack, but Kindred were still new to her and although she knew the silver eyes were bad - that didn't mean she knew what he was going to do. Even if when they turned back to normal she watched him warily. Rory had just said to leave Blaise alone if the eyes were silver. "Can't you just... have words with the drain? Have words with Rory? Is there no kind of release for the drain?"
"Not until he returns to strength," Blaise replied quietly. He waved his hand a little from where he had come to stand still. "Whatever you need you can have it. Jaquelynne can arrange appointments with any professionals you need. My driver can take you there," he added distractedly. He wondered why things had to take such a downward turn without all this. All he wanted was someone to love and instead he gets some sort of soap opera snapshot that he can't fit into his life at all. It just felt like too much. No matter what she was standing there saying, he was starting to doubt now that he could find the ability to love her anymore. "I can have you released from the claim, however."
"No," Buffy said in immediate reply. "I don't need to be released. I don't want to be released. If you want to release me, then that's up to you, Blaise. I might not need it to keep loving you, but I guess I'm selfish enough to still want a connection to you. If you really don't want to be connected to me, then do it."
Blaise shot her an exasperated look. "I cannot without your permission," he insisted, and started pacing again when he realised he was back to square one. He wanted to be connected to her, not someone else's fetus. It wasn't like he would have the ability to bond with the child, and he certainly wasn't the sort to be any kind of parental figure. He finally sat down at his desk, knowing that if he kept pacing, he would keep walking and might not come back. He rested his elbow on the desk, rubbing his fingers over his lips as he glanced at her again. "There is no way this can work."
Buffy moved to the nearest chair and sank down in it as she held his gaze. Her stomach flipped before it started to get that sinking feeling, but she was still annoyingly stubborn. She wasn't giving up, and if he needed to remove the claim with her permission, he wasn't getting it. "Wait until I see the doctor before you say that. Please. We can at least find out the father. Give me until Rory's better. I'm not just gonna give up like that."
"And what do you think is going to happen after all of that?" Blaise asked with a mix of genuine curiosity and bewilderment. "The world is suddenly going to change? I suddenly stop being Kindred with animalistic tendencies? The baby forever remains to be a fetus within you? What happens if Rory regains his strength and you discover he is the father?"
"What do you expect to happen?" Buffy shot back. "He doesn't hate you. He doesn't want me. He's not going to try and stop you from being with me. He told me to come and see you, to ask you for help. He's done nothing but try and get me to understand what I need to do so I don't lose you. If he regains his strength then you don't have the drain voice inside you telling you to stay away from me. If he is the father, then you at least know who you're dealing with. You don't hate Rory. I think you'd actually do anything you could for him because he understands Kindred, and he's a friend. Maybe right now you're confused about that part, but once the baby's out am I really going to seem like his girl anymore?"
Blaise blinked and gave his head a slight shake. "I meant in general. Do you still have feelings for him?" he asked, trying to follow her train of thought. The question wasn't accusatory, more like he just needed an honest answer. "I meant with your life, with the child. I did not mean in reference to Rory. He is a non-entity in that I know if he is the father, you will have his full support unconditionally. He has all that to give you, no strings."
Buffy gave a shake of her head. "No, I don't. I'll always care about him, he's my friend. There's a lot of things I admire about him. And if there wasn't you, then maybe I would want him, but you're here and I don't. He's a non-entity that way. Maybe he's the father, but he's not my lover. But in general, I know that I definitely won't be going back to Slaying. I can't. There's been a Slayer with a kid before me, but I don't want that for my child. I've seen who they grow up to be." Buffy's eyebrows formed a deep frown as she thought about Robin. Maybe he had been an ally in the end, but his hunger for revenge against Spike had nearly ended everything. "I guess the only question is if I can stay in France, or if I'll need to go back to Scotland. If it's Rory's and he goes back... I might not have a choice."
"That is not my business to answer," Blaise replied, and as far as he was concerned, that really wasn't the only question here. In fact, he was sure he could fill a whole notebook with questions right now. He started to trace his fingertip over the ingrained gold crest on his desk, falling silent for a few moments. "I was led to believe your decision to give up slaying had already been made."
Buffy pulled her mouth to the side. "It was, but this is like... I feel like this is the answer to what I was supposed to do with my retirement. Maybe I don't need guns, or the military. For a few years maybe I'm just a mom. I don't know, Blaise. I don't know how this is going to go, and I'm sorry I can't give you the answer. I've never been in this position before."
"Mm," Blaise hummed in agreement. His phone started buzzing with an incoming call, but he barely even glanced at it, making no move to pick it up. At the end of the day, he was still in a high position of power and if he didn't feel like catering to someone, he wouldn't. Any missed calls got diverted to Jaquelynne anyway, so if Paris was about to explode in a zombie invasion or something, he would soon hear. "I am Mathieu's godfather," he finally admitted to her with a small glance in her direction. It was like some sort of revelation. Truth was, he had things to do with infants, just nothing where he had direct authority over them.
Buffy leaned forward in her chair as she rest her elbows on her knees, watching him closely now. It still amazed her that Blaise could look like he had stubble. In fact, he did have stubble. She'd never thought that vampires would have facial hair, and yet here was the proof. There was a small part of her that was sure it was just unique to Blaise though. "But you couldn't connect to him until he was older?" she asked him quietly. "How do you feel about having him here?"
Blaise looked at her with a faint hint of insecurity at the way she was scrutinising him. "Do I have something on my nose?" he asked, and put his hand up to rub at it anyway, indicating that he really could still have very human moments now and again. "Non, I have connected with him since he was a bebe. Just probably not in the same sense most godfathers would. I will tear him to shreds if he hurts Emmeline, but he knows that. It is not something I need to keep telling him. He is always welcome here. I made a promise to his father that I would take care of him if ever he was to be absent. Not a ncessary promise. I am his Sire, that goes without saying. He is an extremely smart boy, very skilled in many areas."
Buffy cracked a smile as she pushed her bangs out of her eyes. "No, sweetheart, you don't. I was just looking at your stubble. It's very sexy, and something I love about you. Who knew the idea of stubble rash could be a turn on? But again, not about to touch you or try and kiss you. It was still a promise the father probably needed to hear, and that shows that you do care. A Ventrue at heart?"
Blaise touched his cheek absentmindedly. He had forgotten to take care of that earlier that day. He was increasingly distracted lately, it was a task to stay focused and retain his strength. He was fortunate that unlike humans, it didn't itch when it got to this point, and it was a lot easier to forget about. It also would just stop when it got a certain length. "His father is elderly, reaching his end. He has requested often of late that I continue to watch over Mathieu when he passes. His father was a long-time close confidante of mine before he was forced to retire. Even then, he hung on until his late eighties in my employ. Nothing would keep him down. But Mathieu grew up in that environment, he was just extremely reckless. His father nearly died himself of grief at the thought of losing his son."
"I'm so sorry, but if his father's only just near his end then Mathieu must still be quite young as far as Kindred are concerned. Is he like a toddler in your terms? They're your family. This is what family's about. It's not blood. Not everything is blood. Sometimes it comes down to connections, and bonds. The invisible threads that joins you to someone." Buffy sat back so Blaise wasn't feeling so paranoid still, and crossed her legs over. "Is Mathieu unusual in that he stayed with his father?"
"Mathieu was Embraced approximately fifty years ago. He was in a serious motorcycle accident and would not have survived. The thing about being Kindred is that it generally gives you free reign to be reckless and you do not risk things like deceasing in motor vehicle accidents. He did not stop being reckless and a free spirit. He just did not pass on from this world," Blaise explained with a faint smirk. He knew very much how Mathieu was, and also how he was with Emmeline. This was the first time in many months they had been in each other's presence. It would be interesting to see what the outcome was. "He is not unusual, non. Family is still family. He loves his father dearly."
Buffy listened carefully, her gaze shifting to a small statue on Blaise's desk. It looked like it was Art Noveau, but she had never been good at guessing. Not like her Mom whose life had been art. "Do you think the family minds? Would it be easier knowing someone wanted that life?"
Blaise wasn't sure what she meant and he looked at her in confusion. "Why would his family mind? Mathieu was able to keep his life, just in turn it means he will outlive them all. He does not have a large family. Him and his father were close because of that. He lost his mother at an early age. I do not know what is easier. I have never been in that position. Moralistically, though, Mathieu's father had legal and medical authority to turn the life support off and kill his son. Why not have the same choice to save him?"
"I don't know. I guess I was just wondering. I know I'm not supposed to compare, so this is just another part of me learning the differences. Getting to realise Kindred really is like nothing I've experienced. It sounds like me and my Mom, although in fairness, I was never crazy about motorcycles. Come to think of it, I've never ridden one. Can you ride?" she asked him, her eyebrows going up a little bit. "I think if there's a choice to save someone, then it should be given to them. I won't argue with that."
"I do not need to ride. I have drivers," Blaise pointed out. He was still relieved she was at a distance, helping him keep any uncontrollable flashes of his emotion to a minimum. He just wished he could reason the whole situation out more. "Mathieu took to Kindred like a duck to water. I ensured he was nurtured and taken care of. He was a lot like Emmeline in that sense. They are very similar, though being two different clans, they will both passionately deny that. They are a passionate pair, but can fight like cats and dogs when they clash. But Emmeline commands worship, and Mathieu can give her that, more than anyone else."
Buffy nodded before she tilted her head. "I thought Emmeline just hadn't found anyone worthy of her love? If she has Mathieu why doesn't she just take him as a mate, or something? When did you know with Juliette that she was mate material? And I know you have drivers, but don't you ever just want to get out on your own? Your drivers could always just follow you."
"So she says. She is very head strong and stubborn. She knows if she submits to love, it is a forever thing. It is not that simple. It may appear to be like a marriage, but it is not. It is asking to be bound to someone forever, not til death us to part. Emmeline will only take someone who agrees to be her equal. She will not ever be completely submissive to anyone. She would be miserable if she did. She would probably end up killing them," Blaise admitted with a hint of amusement, though he was only half joking. "Juliette and myself never discussed it. It just simply occurred. It was beyond us. A mutual, yet instinctual agreement. I am always out on my own, Buffy. I am just very good at concealing. I am constantly completely aware of my city at all times."
Buffy looked back at the statue on his desk as she considered what it would be like to be that joined to someone. Riley was right. There was something about it that was pretty appealing. She wasn't sure Rory would feel the same. She also wondered if his brother, Logan, would consider being Embraced just to be joined like that to Aiden. Would Aiden even want to Embrace Logan? Would Blaise ever consider Embracing Buffy, or getting someone else to do it if she wasn't Ventrue material? Her brow furrowed again in deep thought, and she realised she'd been quiet for a long time. "I can't really blame her for wanting to be sure before she did something like that. Part of me just can't help thinking about what it would be like to be that in love with someone, that connected to someone that you are bound to them. You can't exactly be mated with more than one person though, can you? And humans and Kindred don't get bound. Just claimed, and in love. Can you be married, but still have a mate? Maybe one day you can show me around your city."
Blaise shifted restlessly in his chair to lean back in it now. That wasn't entirely to do with Buffy, even if it was a good portion. He hadn't fed for the duration of the day and he was starting to get that uneasy hunger building inside him. Not unlike hunger pangs in humans, only all over. "Mating is not about love, it is about connection and companionship. It is why you will often see Kindred marry as well as mate together. Two different threads. But often, mates are not in romantic relationships. It all still comes down to having someone that you trust with your life to co-exist with. When the world shifts and changes around you, when people enter your life and pass on, you still have one soul to stay tethered to or grief would destroy us. Humans have such a short life span. The reason there is something such as mateship and claiming in our kind is because we have had so long to evolve it. It is really not about just wanting someone so you do not have to go to sleep alone at night. Very far from it. The city I see, Buffy, is not one I wish you privvy to. I do not mean that as offensive."
"It's okay, I won't take offence. I get it." Buffy pointed a thumb to the door behind her. "And I don't mean this to be offensive, or seem like some kinda retreat, but do you want me to leave so you can eat? See, I'm getting to learn which restless moves mean what when it comes to you. Or at least the hunger pangs. Otherwise you can eat in front of me. Just so you know. It doesn't bother me. I'm evolving too. Just slowly. Well, truth is I'm glad Kindred have something like mates. I really can't imagine living so long without some kind of deep bond being formed with another one of my kind."
"You are pregnant, I cannot feed in front of you." Though, as soon as the words were out of his mouth, he realised he had no real grounding for him. It was just some sort of inner reaction kicking in, and he actually frowned slightly as he analysed his own comment. He gave a small shake of his head to clear it. "Well, Emmeline is adamant she does not need anyone to survive and so far, she has coped many years without. Theoretically, however, her match just might not have come along until Mathieu. He certainly gets under her skin, and vice versa. They are very... passionate around each other. So I apologise in advance if you accidentally come across them in that state."
Buffy's eyebrows went up at Blaise's comment before she snorted with disapproval. And he thought stupid things came out of her her mouth. "Right, I'm diseased. Maybe I should just get out now. I wouldn't want my pregnant to rub off on you in anyway. Or to put you off your appetite now that you have one. No, no. It's okay. I've already heard some of their, ah, passionate encounters. It's definitely something."
Blaise frowned, really not liking the implied insults veiled in her tone or her words. "Then perhaps you should leave," he bit out.
Buffy let out a breath before she raised her hands in surrender and then stood. "I'm sorry, that was unfair. I just... I'm not handicapped. I'm still me. I just have a baby on board. I know we're not going to know what the hell to do right now. I'll just talk to you another time. At least I can talk to Jaquelynne about the appointments. I really am sorry, Blaise."
"You are not Kindred either. Just be satisfied that you are never going to completely understand how or why I react to things," Blaise added, though the small frown was now one of confusion more than anything else. "Jaquelynne's office is in our east wing. She will not be too far away."
Buffy took a step forward like she was going to try and kiss him goodnight, but she did an awkward wave instead and pointed at the door again. "I'll go find her. Thanks for... ah, thanks. Have a good night. Good meal... Take care, Blaise." Buffy slipped out of the door just in time to facepalm herself. She was back to saying the stupid things, and just hoped she pulled it together in time to be able to talk to Jaquelynne without putting her foot in her mouth. She also hoped that there was some way Blaise could get past the pregnancy.
Word Count | 6,618