Guess what day it is...
TMI Tuesday. *siiiigh*
Oh that I hadn't been mysteriously tagged with this. @_@
Cut because...seriously...too much information.
Don't do this unless you really want to, guys. It's a pain to get stuck doing.
1. Do you masturbate.
No. Not for lack of trying when I was younger. It really...just doesn't work for me. Like...in a literal sense. Nothing happens. I have no idea why.
2. What's something you only do when you're alone.
Sing. *smile* In the car, in particular. If I'm going somewhere, I'm singing. If I'm home alone, I'm singing. I don't have a particularly strong voice, and I can't always make it do exactly what I want it to, and really don't want someone hearing it unless I know for sure it'll sound great, so that's why.
Two songs I can hit perfectly are Scissor Sisters' "I can't decide" and Coheed and Cambria's "Welcome Home".
3. What would you do if you had no fear?
Go about my normal life being thoroughly contemplative and insanely rational about everything. I tend to overthink so much fear isn't really the thing that drives most of what I do.
4. What's something you overindulge in?
Interaction.
I'll glut myself on being around people even when I'm not supposed to or when I know it's something I don't actually look forward to. The fact some people can actually stand me is still something I find amazing, and even when they can't stand me, I still need to be around them sometimes.
Other times I just can't be near anyone.
5. Do you believe in the supernatural?
Yes. To some extent. Ghosts and that sort of thing I'd probably have to narrow down and reclassify because I have soem pretty strange ideas abotu what those actually may or may not be and whether or not they exist when reclassified. Demons, Angels, God, and the devil are all things I believe in absolutely, though.
6. What's a stereotype you agree with?
...I'm having real trouble thinking of one. This isn't to say there isn't one I agree with, just that I can't think of one. I'm not going to sit here and act like I'm better than that, because I'm probably not.
Hm. Come to think of it, maybe that gives me an answer: "Christians are hypocrites."
This I beleive in because I believe all people are hypocrites on some level, even if it's simply on the level of self-deception or self-perception. There will always be something we double-standard on, whether it's deliberate or not.
7. What annoys you the most on facebook?
Uh. I don't like facebook at all, actually. I have one because in some cases it's the only way I can keep in touch with certain people, and because I had to create it to actually do my work for one of my college courses. (Which has a long story behind it that still irks me a little.) I tend to feel like I have one big exposed nerve when it comes to facebook. After all, my internet life is something of a double life to begin with. Having my family talk to me while keeping it absolutely open to people I know from here, or from my writing groups, or from the crazy Presbyterian kids I know from the summer makes me uncomfortable.
I don't like hiding what I am in any way shape or form, but it's irritating when people have sudden realizations they think changes everything you are in their eyes.
8. What's your strangest kink?
I like wheelchairs.
If I haven't covered this with you in conversation yet, I'll elaborate.
It's not exactly a kink because I'm an asexual heteroromantic slanting into an asexual nonromantic. Wheelchairs in general just have a sort of lofty almost symbolic significance to me, and did so even before I met the guy-in-a-wheelchair who was my first love. If not for this strange almost-superstitious significance thing, I wouldn't have even talked to him on principle at the time.
I could probably elaborate more, but it sounds vaguely stupid, and would need to explain that I tend to like inanimate objects more than people when it comes to touch.
It's something about the person-object-dependence relationship there and something of how they act or how their personalities tend to be shaped.
I'd probably react the same way to a mute who only talks through a computer. It has to be an object directly manipulated by the person in a sort of mutual dependence. (Not a hearing aid or something.)
...It's just extremely weird to try to describe in such a way that it's actually translatable.
9. What's something you're nostalgic about?
Everything.
I'm extremely nostalgic, and borderline packrat. I chronicle my experiences and memories through objects and words and not much else.
Things I give as gifts usually convey some meaning or experience for the same reason.
10. Post a screenshot of your desktop
There. Obviously taken today.
Marvel at my tremendous organization. These trolls do.
(Since in hindsight this is kind of hard to see in this layout, here's the direct link. http://i53.tinypic.com/rkvfib.png )
11. On a scale of one to ten, rate your appearance.
Five. Middle because I have no idea where to put my appearance. I don't notice appearances or have the slightest clue how to put one over the other. People are just people.
It's also an amusing side note to point out that most often, a person asked to rate where they were in relation to others on a scale of one to ten, most commonly picks the number seven. (I've asked a lot of people questions using that scale.)
I'm deliberately picking five because it's a much more fair number. Regardless of what it might actually be, that's where I want to be.
12. Do you get jealous easily?
What's there to be jealous over?
No. I'm not competitive, either. I can goad people sometimes, or tease them, but it's not because I want something out of it aside from basic interaction. "Winning". "Losing". "Gaining" them in some position I perceive as adventitious or desirable...
I just...don't do that. It's never made sense to me.
Just not being ignored or despised in and of itself feels like a gift, to be honest.
13. What's an accepted fact you have a hard time believing?
Oh gosh. Don't start. I could begin a lot of really blistering debates, but ultimately, even that question's coming down to an opinion thing again. Actually, I can say I have a hard time believing people can say things are "accepted facts" in the first place. Especially among other Americans. Good heavens. We couldn't agree the world is round with 100% certainty if you stuck us all together in a room.
That said, I still don't believe everything is relative, either. Which sounds crazy given what I said above, but I'm trying to be very particular here. Most people who say things like that turn to relativistic thought. I don't.
To me, the idea of "Relative Truth" is a big blindfold used to avoid acknowledging the ultimate possibility of wrongness to any given thing a person believes or action they take based on such a belief or hope. It's way to try to avoid argument by saying anything you decide to do is right based on your decision to do it, and anyone who says otherwise has no right to say anything at all, even if that speech is something they believe in.
It's a serpent that bites its own tail since any criticism of the theory should automatically be supported by the theory itself since all things have to be true.
That said, postmodern thinking isn't so much a fact as it is a philosophy, so I don't even know if that answers the question except in a really roundabout way that calls the question innately stupid--a position that always makes the person pointing at the naked emperor look like an arrogant idiot.
14. What's your favorite part of foreplay?
Not getting involved with people like that, and therefore never needing to do it, or anything else along the lines of such play.
Don't talk to me about romance unless it's about something you personally are excited about relative to your own love life, or some theoretical character thing. I don't think I've ever actually said it outright, but if people are trying to giggle and gush life into a shipping wall and pull me into it, typically I feel like gouging my eyes out with a spoon, or throttling the person next to me.
And for Heaven's sake, never try to bring me in on this if you're shipping-speculating someone I know with someone who isn't you.
Or, further along those lines, talking to me about how voluptuous my brother's butt is.
These things have, indeed, happened, and in all seriousness, they add extreme strain to whatever relationship I have to you, whether I show that strain or not.
I. Do. Not. Talk. Romance.
I will encourage you in your own efforts, mind you. That's completely different. I'm dead against being talked to on and on and on about who likes who like some sort of earful of gossip magazine.
...Things like this are why I typically have very few close female friends who group together with other females
15. What's something you'd never admit to in real life?
I sometimes swear and cuss on the internet.
(Don't laugh.)
I never do in real life.
When I say "FSSSSSS", I do THAT in real life when I'm either thinking the F-word or I'm really amused. One or the other.
I think-swear a lot. Which isn't any better since I take seriously the belief in an omnipotent God, making anything I do in my head as bad as anything I do outside my head.
When I do it for a character, even, I still feel guilty, but also trapped because a lot of characters don't sound like them if you make them clean-spoken. Even for characters, I try to avoid outright swearing as opposed to cussing. (Things relating to God, Hell, Damning things...that kind of thing, are all swearing and breaking outright commandments demeaning God, His nature, or His attributes. Cussing is forbidden too if you read certain sections of the New Testament in the right light, and...word meanings being what they are, are sort of more of a gray area...but with how Christianity technically works, anything not white-as-snow is something you don't really want to do.)
16. Showers or baths?
Showers. Baths get my hair tangled, actually. This is the only real reason.
17. Commando: sexy or sickening?
I think I've covered before now that I don't think anything is sexy. At all. I can understand in some oblique way how it might be appealing to some people, but that has no bearing whatsoever on my own thinking. Really.
So my answer to that is, "I don't want to think about what a zipper could do. At the least, I imagine it'd chafe."
18. Have you ever secretly planned for marriage or children with your partner?
I've never had a partner. There's a reasonable, and therefore mentionable chance I never will. That said, the few men I have been interested in I wouldn't be interested in if I didn't think they were marriageable material, and when it comes to marriage, if it happens, I know I want children. Four to five to be particular, adoption being a-okay if it turns out to be a point of difficulty--which it might, given my biology is already exhibiting some yet undiagnosed unusual points.
19. How big are your boobs? Alternatively, how big is your dick?
I'm a 34 DD/E, depending on where you are, and what your country's standard is.
Measuring-wise that means I stick out five to six inches from my ribcage.
That said, my dress code usually doesn't give people any opportunity to realize. Normally, they assume I'm more average.
Anyone who offers to lend me clothes has to have this explained to them.
People often offer to lend me clothes, because dressing in a way which does not reveal that you stick out more than other people if you do, is something they feel the need to makeover me for and reveal to me as some sort of Cinderella-transformation common to all blond girls who happen to get screwed over by estrogen.
Over the years this talk has become simultaneously polite and blunt, as well as much shorter.
It goes something like, "I appreciate the gesture, but you would need about three inches more fabric on the upper portion of that dress if it were to fit me in any manner not found in a vaudeville show or a topless bar."
This answer usually either prompts apology, amazement, or argument that the dress is a much more appropriate loan, then.
Under no circumstances do I ever take the dress.
Under no circumstances has this ever stopped such would-be makeover artists from pursuing me again with more fashion suggestions, usually along the lines of straightening my hair, wearing makeup, and the possibility of enticing the male race.
I either get annoyed and terse or try to change the subject to quantum physics or theology.
20. Define your sexuality
An asexual is technically a person who, through personal trauma, hormone imbalance, or plain, otherwise undefined lack of interest does not pursue sexual relationships of any kind. Last I heard we constituted less than one percent of the given population, and were not actually eunuchs.
I've also heard some stuff about the LGBT community trying to class us in with them. How this works, I have no idea.
Technically, most of us can develop romantic non-sexual relationships, so you'll have an Asexual heteroromantic, or an Asexual homoromantic, or an Asexual biromantic who'll otherwise be normal, but don't have any sex drive at all, and mesh with one of the other forms of common sexuality minus the sex part.
I'm an asexual heteroromantic, in that I'm attracted only to men, but in my case it's so rare, and hasn't happened for such a large chunk of my life now that I probably slant more towards being an asexual nonromantic. (I have had a total of four love interests in my entire life, and haven't had any interest switch since I was thirteen. So that's nine years without so much as a crush.)
Basically, I subsist on purely platonic friendships.
In my case, the thought of sex in any variety just strikes me as sort of ridiculous, and almost...demeaning, in a way? It's hard to explain since it's kind of a gut reaction thing. I just don't like it.
Were I, through some great and desired fortune to marry, I'd accommodate my husband, I've decided. Not wanting it doesn't mean I'm unable to, after all. If that's...a delicate enough way to say it.
I also think it would be wrong to marry a sexualized individual and deprive them of that thing which is really meant to be the big deal of marriage. (I'm all traditional like that.)
...It's something I've had to think about a great deal, anyway.
21. What's the farthest you've gone to impress the opposite sex?
Hahahaa. Well. Back when the opposite sex did matter to me like that and all, I was still a compulsive liar, so...
I told some pretty dumb stories that were supposed to be impressive.
Think I went a few miles out of my way by bike to stake out some places hoping to catch one in particular, too. (Just because I'm not sexually attracted to people doesn't make me any less obsessive-puppydog about wanting to see them when I do like them romantically.)
The last one in particular I was really horrible over. XD
I seem to recall looking up his address in the phone book based on an email I got, and writing him elaborately casual letters. And he sent some back. Which I still have. o_o
Up until I moved out of Miami like this, we actually went to the same college after my dumb academic problem thing, and ran into eachother still. And I still liked him. *cough*
In hindsight, it's even possible he was sort of okay with me in a potentially dateish capacity but I was too much of an idiot to really notice/realize as we were awkward friends. (Since that kind of thing has happened before, apparently, with other male friends. The barest potential, there. Also known as I AM STUPID ABOUT THIS LIKE YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE.)
My car broke down legitimately at his house before, though that was totally unintentional, and definitely not impressive. Though...having a guy in a wheelchair help you push your car out of his driveway is pretty impressive. I still don't know how he did it, but he did. Then again, Frank had a real tendency to do just about anything you thought he couldn't do from a wheelchair. He was/is one of the coolest people I know for that and certainly the only absolutely fearless person I've ever met. I didn't just like him. I absolutely admired him. Still do.
I still have no idea what he thought/thinks about me, and we might have finally lost touch for good. Still have his cell number and all, but we haven't talked in a really long time, and I know life's been...kind of rough for him lately in that he's taken up smoking and possibly drinking, too, and he had a sort of...attitude change thing, too? Seemed a lot less confident. A little beaten on, even.
It really sucks to want to help in any way you can, and not really get seen as an option there.
Oh. I also wrote him sonnets.
Seriously. He requested vikings talking to their kittens, and I wrote a sonnet on just that. And a few others he didn't see, for that matter which were more along the conventional lines of sonnetry and young pumpbiscuits throbbing rapidly and all that...
...Pathetic, largely harmless things, anyway. Not exactly roses and chocolates- Well...okay, maybe chocolate, but in a really subdued friendly feeding way which totally could have been taken as platonic because we'd been friends for what...like...eight years? I know for a fact I bought red bulls and carried them in my backback in college for just in case I saw him because he was usually pretty tired by the time his evening classes came around, but that's also the sort of thing I'd do for just about anyone I felt pretty attached to to be hoenst, so I have no clue to what degree that got taken. >_>
PRETEEN LITERATE DORKY STALKING, AW YES.
...At this point, if I ever see him again, I might just need to ask him if he'll be my "it's complicated" on facebook and be done with it. Jeez. =_=
22. In what way are you like your mom? Like your dad?
Let’s see. My mom is an insanely kind diagnosed hypochondriac with frightening medical knowledge and capacities. My dad is one of the truly humble people on the planet. I think I’m probably a little neurotic and prone to overflows of information and lack of sleep like my mom. I’m also crazy about not imposing on people and being useful like my dad. To sometimes frustrating extents for you if you’re someone trying to give me something.
23. In an average day, what do you eat?
Whatever I feel like.
Really.
Typically it’s an extreme mix of absolute health food and absolute junk food. Make the healthy thing, then sprinkle it with potato chips. That kind of eating.
Lately, I make something elaborate from scratch, then open up something from a can and eat that myself.
24. What's the weirdest date you've ever been on?
I’ve only been on one, and the story behind it more than makes it apply for this.
Pretty much a bunch of random folks in a McDonalds picked me out, and hooked me up with their co-worker. So I ended up on this sort of blind date with an awkward, ponytailed-balding, skateboarding, vegan burger-flipper young guy who seemed perfectly okay with me as I ranted about religion and Chinese food and made him a Dungeons and Dragons monk.
I have since lost touch with him partially because it was deeply awkward just how great he seemed to think I was after about two hours of interaction.
I’m really not good at this kind of thing, but I’m also not terribly good at deliberately turning people down either.
It was just very strange as an all around situation for an introvert who doesn’t date just for social kicks like that.
It’s so weird I probably didn’t even mention it until now. It still make me feel like a jerk.
I don’t know why, but when people just really seem to like me a whole lot for no reason I can actually discern it makes me extremely uncomfortable. I have the same problem with most of the people I was with all this summer, where they seem to think I can walk on water or something, and feel the need to blurt this kind of thing at me all the time.
I'm generally a lot more comfortable with people who concrit than people who gush compliments everywhere.
25. Which reality star would you take to dinner?
That's easy because I don't watch TV, and seriously have no clue who any of the reality stars are.
There are a few people I might make dinner for, though...
To the adventurous:
If you do it, do all of it, and go into detail because the point is TMI.
And then hide your face afterwards, because this is embarrassing crap.
Oh that I hadn't been mysteriously tagged with this. @_@
Cut because...seriously...too much information.
Don't do this unless you really want to, guys. It's a pain to get stuck doing.
1. Do you masturbate.
No. Not for lack of trying when I was younger. It really...just doesn't work for me. Like...in a literal sense. Nothing happens. I have no idea why.
2. What's something you only do when you're alone.
Sing. *smile* In the car, in particular. If I'm going somewhere, I'm singing. If I'm home alone, I'm singing. I don't have a particularly strong voice, and I can't always make it do exactly what I want it to, and really don't want someone hearing it unless I know for sure it'll sound great, so that's why.
Two songs I can hit perfectly are Scissor Sisters' "I can't decide" and Coheed and Cambria's "Welcome Home".
3. What would you do if you had no fear?
Go about my normal life being thoroughly contemplative and insanely rational about everything. I tend to overthink so much fear isn't really the thing that drives most of what I do.
4. What's something you overindulge in?
Interaction.
I'll glut myself on being around people even when I'm not supposed to or when I know it's something I don't actually look forward to. The fact some people can actually stand me is still something I find amazing, and even when they can't stand me, I still need to be around them sometimes.
Other times I just can't be near anyone.
5. Do you believe in the supernatural?
Yes. To some extent. Ghosts and that sort of thing I'd probably have to narrow down and reclassify because I have soem pretty strange ideas abotu what those actually may or may not be and whether or not they exist when reclassified. Demons, Angels, God, and the devil are all things I believe in absolutely, though.
6. What's a stereotype you agree with?
...I'm having real trouble thinking of one. This isn't to say there isn't one I agree with, just that I can't think of one. I'm not going to sit here and act like I'm better than that, because I'm probably not.
Hm. Come to think of it, maybe that gives me an answer: "Christians are hypocrites."
This I beleive in because I believe all people are hypocrites on some level, even if it's simply on the level of self-deception or self-perception. There will always be something we double-standard on, whether it's deliberate or not.
7. What annoys you the most on facebook?
Uh. I don't like facebook at all, actually. I have one because in some cases it's the only way I can keep in touch with certain people, and because I had to create it to actually do my work for one of my college courses. (Which has a long story behind it that still irks me a little.) I tend to feel like I have one big exposed nerve when it comes to facebook. After all, my internet life is something of a double life to begin with. Having my family talk to me while keeping it absolutely open to people I know from here, or from my writing groups, or from the crazy Presbyterian kids I know from the summer makes me uncomfortable.
I don't like hiding what I am in any way shape or form, but it's irritating when people have sudden realizations they think changes everything you are in their eyes.
8. What's your strangest kink?
I like wheelchairs.
If I haven't covered this with you in conversation yet, I'll elaborate.
It's not exactly a kink because I'm an asexual heteroromantic slanting into an asexual nonromantic. Wheelchairs in general just have a sort of lofty almost symbolic significance to me, and did so even before I met the guy-in-a-wheelchair who was my first love. If not for this strange almost-superstitious significance thing, I wouldn't have even talked to him on principle at the time.
I could probably elaborate more, but it sounds vaguely stupid, and would need to explain that I tend to like inanimate objects more than people when it comes to touch.
It's something about the person-object-dependence relationship there and something of how they act or how their personalities tend to be shaped.
I'd probably react the same way to a mute who only talks through a computer. It has to be an object directly manipulated by the person in a sort of mutual dependence. (Not a hearing aid or something.)
...It's just extremely weird to try to describe in such a way that it's actually translatable.
9. What's something you're nostalgic about?
Everything.
I'm extremely nostalgic, and borderline packrat. I chronicle my experiences and memories through objects and words and not much else.
Things I give as gifts usually convey some meaning or experience for the same reason.
10. Post a screenshot of your desktop
There. Obviously taken today.
Marvel at my tremendous organization. These trolls do.
(Since in hindsight this is kind of hard to see in this layout, here's the direct link. http://i53.tinypic.com/rkvfib.png )
11. On a scale of one to ten, rate your appearance.
Five. Middle because I have no idea where to put my appearance. I don't notice appearances or have the slightest clue how to put one over the other. People are just people.
It's also an amusing side note to point out that most often, a person asked to rate where they were in relation to others on a scale of one to ten, most commonly picks the number seven. (I've asked a lot of people questions using that scale.)
I'm deliberately picking five because it's a much more fair number. Regardless of what it might actually be, that's where I want to be.
12. Do you get jealous easily?
What's there to be jealous over?
No. I'm not competitive, either. I can goad people sometimes, or tease them, but it's not because I want something out of it aside from basic interaction. "Winning". "Losing". "Gaining" them in some position I perceive as adventitious or desirable...
I just...don't do that. It's never made sense to me.
Just not being ignored or despised in and of itself feels like a gift, to be honest.
13. What's an accepted fact you have a hard time believing?
Oh gosh. Don't start. I could begin a lot of really blistering debates, but ultimately, even that question's coming down to an opinion thing again. Actually, I can say I have a hard time believing people can say things are "accepted facts" in the first place. Especially among other Americans. Good heavens. We couldn't agree the world is round with 100% certainty if you stuck us all together in a room.
That said, I still don't believe everything is relative, either. Which sounds crazy given what I said above, but I'm trying to be very particular here. Most people who say things like that turn to relativistic thought. I don't.
To me, the idea of "Relative Truth" is a big blindfold used to avoid acknowledging the ultimate possibility of wrongness to any given thing a person believes or action they take based on such a belief or hope. It's way to try to avoid argument by saying anything you decide to do is right based on your decision to do it, and anyone who says otherwise has no right to say anything at all, even if that speech is something they believe in.
It's a serpent that bites its own tail since any criticism of the theory should automatically be supported by the theory itself since all things have to be true.
That said, postmodern thinking isn't so much a fact as it is a philosophy, so I don't even know if that answers the question except in a really roundabout way that calls the question innately stupid--a position that always makes the person pointing at the naked emperor look like an arrogant idiot.
14. What's your favorite part of foreplay?
Not getting involved with people like that, and therefore never needing to do it, or anything else along the lines of such play.
Don't talk to me about romance unless it's about something you personally are excited about relative to your own love life, or some theoretical character thing. I don't think I've ever actually said it outright, but if people are trying to giggle and gush life into a shipping wall and pull me into it, typically I feel like gouging my eyes out with a spoon, or throttling the person next to me.
And for Heaven's sake, never try to bring me in on this if you're shipping-speculating someone I know with someone who isn't you.
Or, further along those lines, talking to me about how voluptuous my brother's butt is.
These things have, indeed, happened, and in all seriousness, they add extreme strain to whatever relationship I have to you, whether I show that strain or not.
I. Do. Not. Talk. Romance.
I will encourage you in your own efforts, mind you. That's completely different. I'm dead against being talked to on and on and on about who likes who like some sort of earful of gossip magazine.
...Things like this are why I typically have very few close female friends who group together with other females
15. What's something you'd never admit to in real life?
I sometimes swear and cuss on the internet.
(Don't laugh.)
I never do in real life.
When I say "FSSSSSS", I do THAT in real life when I'm either thinking the F-word or I'm really amused. One or the other.
I think-swear a lot. Which isn't any better since I take seriously the belief in an omnipotent God, making anything I do in my head as bad as anything I do outside my head.
When I do it for a character, even, I still feel guilty, but also trapped because a lot of characters don't sound like them if you make them clean-spoken. Even for characters, I try to avoid outright swearing as opposed to cussing. (Things relating to God, Hell, Damning things...that kind of thing, are all swearing and breaking outright commandments demeaning God, His nature, or His attributes. Cussing is forbidden too if you read certain sections of the New Testament in the right light, and...word meanings being what they are, are sort of more of a gray area...but with how Christianity technically works, anything not white-as-snow is something you don't really want to do.)
16. Showers or baths?
Showers. Baths get my hair tangled, actually. This is the only real reason.
17. Commando: sexy or sickening?
I think I've covered before now that I don't think anything is sexy. At all. I can understand in some oblique way how it might be appealing to some people, but that has no bearing whatsoever on my own thinking. Really.
So my answer to that is, "I don't want to think about what a zipper could do. At the least, I imagine it'd chafe."
18. Have you ever secretly planned for marriage or children with your partner?
I've never had a partner. There's a reasonable, and therefore mentionable chance I never will. That said, the few men I have been interested in I wouldn't be interested in if I didn't think they were marriageable material, and when it comes to marriage, if it happens, I know I want children. Four to five to be particular, adoption being a-okay if it turns out to be a point of difficulty--which it might, given my biology is already exhibiting some yet undiagnosed unusual points.
19. How big are your boobs? Alternatively, how big is your dick?
I'm a 34 DD/E, depending on where you are, and what your country's standard is.
Measuring-wise that means I stick out five to six inches from my ribcage.
That said, my dress code usually doesn't give people any opportunity to realize. Normally, they assume I'm more average.
Anyone who offers to lend me clothes has to have this explained to them.
People often offer to lend me clothes, because dressing in a way which does not reveal that you stick out more than other people if you do, is something they feel the need to makeover me for and reveal to me as some sort of Cinderella-transformation common to all blond girls who happen to get screwed over by estrogen.
Over the years this talk has become simultaneously polite and blunt, as well as much shorter.
It goes something like, "I appreciate the gesture, but you would need about three inches more fabric on the upper portion of that dress if it were to fit me in any manner not found in a vaudeville show or a topless bar."
This answer usually either prompts apology, amazement, or argument that the dress is a much more appropriate loan, then.
Under no circumstances do I ever take the dress.
Under no circumstances has this ever stopped such would-be makeover artists from pursuing me again with more fashion suggestions, usually along the lines of straightening my hair, wearing makeup, and the possibility of enticing the male race.
I either get annoyed and terse or try to change the subject to quantum physics or theology.
20. Define your sexuality
An asexual is technically a person who, through personal trauma, hormone imbalance, or plain, otherwise undefined lack of interest does not pursue sexual relationships of any kind. Last I heard we constituted less than one percent of the given population, and were not actually eunuchs.
I've also heard some stuff about the LGBT community trying to class us in with them. How this works, I have no idea.
Technically, most of us can develop romantic non-sexual relationships, so you'll have an Asexual heteroromantic, or an Asexual homoromantic, or an Asexual biromantic who'll otherwise be normal, but don't have any sex drive at all, and mesh with one of the other forms of common sexuality minus the sex part.
I'm an asexual heteroromantic, in that I'm attracted only to men, but in my case it's so rare, and hasn't happened for such a large chunk of my life now that I probably slant more towards being an asexual nonromantic. (I have had a total of four love interests in my entire life, and haven't had any interest switch since I was thirteen. So that's nine years without so much as a crush.)
Basically, I subsist on purely platonic friendships.
In my case, the thought of sex in any variety just strikes me as sort of ridiculous, and almost...demeaning, in a way? It's hard to explain since it's kind of a gut reaction thing. I just don't like it.
Were I, through some great and desired fortune to marry, I'd accommodate my husband, I've decided. Not wanting it doesn't mean I'm unable to, after all. If that's...a delicate enough way to say it.
I also think it would be wrong to marry a sexualized individual and deprive them of that thing which is really meant to be the big deal of marriage. (I'm all traditional like that.)
...It's something I've had to think about a great deal, anyway.
21. What's the farthest you've gone to impress the opposite sex?
Hahahaa. Well. Back when the opposite sex did matter to me like that and all, I was still a compulsive liar, so...
I told some pretty dumb stories that were supposed to be impressive.
Think I went a few miles out of my way by bike to stake out some places hoping to catch one in particular, too. (Just because I'm not sexually attracted to people doesn't make me any less obsessive-puppydog about wanting to see them when I do like them romantically.)
The last one in particular I was really horrible over. XD
I seem to recall looking up his address in the phone book based on an email I got, and writing him elaborately casual letters. And he sent some back. Which I still have. o_o
Up until I moved out of Miami like this, we actually went to the same college after my dumb academic problem thing, and ran into eachother still. And I still liked him. *cough*
In hindsight, it's even possible he was sort of okay with me in a potentially dateish capacity but I was too much of an idiot to really notice/realize as we were awkward friends. (Since that kind of thing has happened before, apparently, with other male friends. The barest potential, there. Also known as I AM STUPID ABOUT THIS LIKE YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE.)
My car broke down legitimately at his house before, though that was totally unintentional, and definitely not impressive. Though...having a guy in a wheelchair help you push your car out of his driveway is pretty impressive. I still don't know how he did it, but he did. Then again, Frank had a real tendency to do just about anything you thought he couldn't do from a wheelchair. He was/is one of the coolest people I know for that and certainly the only absolutely fearless person I've ever met. I didn't just like him. I absolutely admired him. Still do.
I still have no idea what he thought/thinks about me, and we might have finally lost touch for good. Still have his cell number and all, but we haven't talked in a really long time, and I know life's been...kind of rough for him lately in that he's taken up smoking and possibly drinking, too, and he had a sort of...attitude change thing, too? Seemed a lot less confident. A little beaten on, even.
It really sucks to want to help in any way you can, and not really get seen as an option there.
Oh. I also wrote him sonnets.
Seriously. He requested vikings talking to their kittens, and I wrote a sonnet on just that. And a few others he didn't see, for that matter which were more along the conventional lines of sonnetry and young pumpbiscuits throbbing rapidly and all that...
...Pathetic, largely harmless things, anyway. Not exactly roses and chocolates- Well...okay, maybe chocolate, but in a really subdued friendly feeding way which totally could have been taken as platonic because we'd been friends for what...like...eight years? I know for a fact I bought red bulls and carried them in my backback in college for just in case I saw him because he was usually pretty tired by the time his evening classes came around, but that's also the sort of thing I'd do for just about anyone I felt pretty attached to to be hoenst, so I have no clue to what degree that got taken. >_>
PRETEEN LITERATE DORKY STALKING, AW YES.
...At this point, if I ever see him again, I might just need to ask him if he'll be my "it's complicated" on facebook and be done with it. Jeez. =_=
22. In what way are you like your mom? Like your dad?
Let’s see. My mom is an insanely kind diagnosed hypochondriac with frightening medical knowledge and capacities. My dad is one of the truly humble people on the planet. I think I’m probably a little neurotic and prone to overflows of information and lack of sleep like my mom. I’m also crazy about not imposing on people and being useful like my dad. To sometimes frustrating extents for you if you’re someone trying to give me something.
23. In an average day, what do you eat?
Whatever I feel like.
Really.
Typically it’s an extreme mix of absolute health food and absolute junk food. Make the healthy thing, then sprinkle it with potato chips. That kind of eating.
Lately, I make something elaborate from scratch, then open up something from a can and eat that myself.
24. What's the weirdest date you've ever been on?
I’ve only been on one, and the story behind it more than makes it apply for this.
Pretty much a bunch of random folks in a McDonalds picked me out, and hooked me up with their co-worker. So I ended up on this sort of blind date with an awkward, ponytailed-balding, skateboarding, vegan burger-flipper young guy who seemed perfectly okay with me as I ranted about religion and Chinese food and made him a Dungeons and Dragons monk.
I have since lost touch with him partially because it was deeply awkward just how great he seemed to think I was after about two hours of interaction.
I’m really not good at this kind of thing, but I’m also not terribly good at deliberately turning people down either.
It was just very strange as an all around situation for an introvert who doesn’t date just for social kicks like that.
It’s so weird I probably didn’t even mention it until now. It still make me feel like a jerk.
I don’t know why, but when people just really seem to like me a whole lot for no reason I can actually discern it makes me extremely uncomfortable. I have the same problem with most of the people I was with all this summer, where they seem to think I can walk on water or something, and feel the need to blurt this kind of thing at me all the time.
I'm generally a lot more comfortable with people who concrit than people who gush compliments everywhere.
25. Which reality star would you take to dinner?
That's easy because I don't watch TV, and seriously have no clue who any of the reality stars are.
There are a few people I might make dinner for, though...
To the adventurous:
If you do it, do all of it, and go into detail because the point is TMI.
And then hide your face afterwards, because this is embarrassing crap.