The Office: Five Things meme
**As always, anonymous comments are welcome if you don't have an LJ account.
For moireach: Five drinks Jim never bought Pam
1) Jim bought Pam a big margarita at the Dundees. He really shouldn't have, considering how tipsy she was getting already, but she'd made such a sad face when she ran out of drinks to steal that he couldn't help himself. When she went to the bathroom, he stole a sharpie from Dwight's meticulously organized emergency kit (which appeared to have once been a tackle box, and which smelled faintly of fish) and drew a big smiley face on her coaster, and put the glass back over it just so. When she emptied the glass, she peered down into it like she always did, making sure that absolutely all the booze was gone, and saw the bottom of the glass smiling back at her. She shrieked with laughter, leaning into Jim's shoulder to keep from falling over, and Jim considered it a job well done.
2) Once when Jim was going through Dwight's desk drawers, putting a tiny bead of superglue on the tip of each pen to seal it shut, he found the little bottle of champagne gathering dust. Either Dwight was not a big drinker or he wisely didn't trust anything Jim left on his desk. On the night that they were all staying late, reading Michael's script and generally goofing around, Jim checked Dwight's desk while the cheese sandwiches were toasting and, sure enough, it was still there. He brought it up with the sandwiches and he and Pam drank champagne out of white styrofoam coffee cups, competing to see who could say the most ridiculous toast. Jim took tiny sips, to make it last longer, and it wasn't until later he realized that Pam had made her cup of champagne last just as long.
3) It was beyond weird to take your crush out to lunch on the tenuous excuse of celebrating her engagement to another man, but Jim convinced himself that it was for the sake of his own long-term mental health, that this would help him get over her. In the short run, however, it was not good for his mental health to order a bottle of wine, or to ask to see the ring on multiple occasions just for the excuse of touching her hand, or to listen to her laugh and watch her eyes light up when he joked about having Dwight be the flower girl. He sat at his desk later, listening to her laughing on the phone with her mother, his head buzzing, feeling like his skin was going to burst at a single touch, and all he could think was I can't do this anymore, I can't do this anymore, I can't, I can't.
4) It took all week to get the soda machine fixed. Every day Jim brought three cans of Coke to work: one for him, one for Pam, and one for Roy, since they always ended up eating together anyway and he didn't want to make things weird. Once Michael stole one of the cans out of the refrigerator, leaving fifty cents behind, and Jim lied and told Pam that he was too hopped up on coffee to even consider having anything caffinated for lunch. He drank water instead.
5) Jim went to a bar and grill down the street from work because the only food left in his apartment was a bag of stale Doritos. He was watching the game and half-assedly pondering the menu when Pam hopped up on the bar stool next to him. "I had a fight with Roy," she announced. "If you buy me a drink and tell me he's an asshole, I may be convinced to re-think this wedding thing." Her voice was none too steady, but her eyes held his, and there was enough in her expression to convince him that she meant it. He ordered her a drink.
Later, he asked, "If I buy you some jalapeño poppers, too, does that mean I'm going to get lucky?"
She laughed, and hit him on the shoulder. "I think maybe you should try for the combination platter. A girl's virtue cannot be compromised without hot wings and cheese sticks."
As it turned out, they never did get around to ordering dinner.
For moireach: Five drinks Jim never bought Pam
1) Jim bought Pam a big margarita at the Dundees. He really shouldn't have, considering how tipsy she was getting already, but she'd made such a sad face when she ran out of drinks to steal that he couldn't help himself. When she went to the bathroom, he stole a sharpie from Dwight's meticulously organized emergency kit (which appeared to have once been a tackle box, and which smelled faintly of fish) and drew a big smiley face on her coaster, and put the glass back over it just so. When she emptied the glass, she peered down into it like she always did, making sure that absolutely all the booze was gone, and saw the bottom of the glass smiling back at her. She shrieked with laughter, leaning into Jim's shoulder to keep from falling over, and Jim considered it a job well done.
2) Once when Jim was going through Dwight's desk drawers, putting a tiny bead of superglue on the tip of each pen to seal it shut, he found the little bottle of champagne gathering dust. Either Dwight was not a big drinker or he wisely didn't trust anything Jim left on his desk. On the night that they were all staying late, reading Michael's script and generally goofing around, Jim checked Dwight's desk while the cheese sandwiches were toasting and, sure enough, it was still there. He brought it up with the sandwiches and he and Pam drank champagne out of white styrofoam coffee cups, competing to see who could say the most ridiculous toast. Jim took tiny sips, to make it last longer, and it wasn't until later he realized that Pam had made her cup of champagne last just as long.
3) It was beyond weird to take your crush out to lunch on the tenuous excuse of celebrating her engagement to another man, but Jim convinced himself that it was for the sake of his own long-term mental health, that this would help him get over her. In the short run, however, it was not good for his mental health to order a bottle of wine, or to ask to see the ring on multiple occasions just for the excuse of touching her hand, or to listen to her laugh and watch her eyes light up when he joked about having Dwight be the flower girl. He sat at his desk later, listening to her laughing on the phone with her mother, his head buzzing, feeling like his skin was going to burst at a single touch, and all he could think was I can't do this anymore, I can't do this anymore, I can't, I can't.
4) It took all week to get the soda machine fixed. Every day Jim brought three cans of Coke to work: one for him, one for Pam, and one for Roy, since they always ended up eating together anyway and he didn't want to make things weird. Once Michael stole one of the cans out of the refrigerator, leaving fifty cents behind, and Jim lied and told Pam that he was too hopped up on coffee to even consider having anything caffinated for lunch. He drank water instead.
5) Jim went to a bar and grill down the street from work because the only food left in his apartment was a bag of stale Doritos. He was watching the game and half-assedly pondering the menu when Pam hopped up on the bar stool next to him. "I had a fight with Roy," she announced. "If you buy me a drink and tell me he's an asshole, I may be convinced to re-think this wedding thing." Her voice was none too steady, but her eyes held his, and there was enough in her expression to convince him that she meant it. He ordered her a drink.
Later, he asked, "If I buy you some jalapeño poppers, too, does that mean I'm going to get lucky?"
She laughed, and hit him on the shoulder. "I think maybe you should try for the combination platter. A girl's virtue cannot be compromised without hot wings and cheese sticks."
As it turned out, they never did get around to ordering dinner.