My father is a VERY negative person, one that I have a hard time dealing with on a regular basis. We did not get along at all until about a year ago. I think the turning point was a nock down=drag out fight we had where I told him to accept me as an adult or get out of my life.
That might not be the right move for you and your family, I'm not saying it is, but it is something to think about. I think sometimes parents need a little "wake up call" to realize that their grown children are, in fact, grown.
I know. the worst part is that everyone in our family knows this, but my dad has said to my face that he'll never respect me as an equal, because i'll always be his 'baby' and because i'll never be as capable/competent as him just from the sheer number of years he has on me. literally, he has said this to my face. he's mocked me for my law degree time and time again, because it's 'not as good as engineering', because i'm 'only a lawyer' like pah.
on one hand i just feel like i should nod and smile and do whatever i want to do anyway. but it's so draining. he's ridiculous. and in the recent years he's become even more irrational, like something's going wrong with him idk.
my mum tried to confront him about it, she said he's being erratic and abnormally quick to anger. he said that the only causes of trouble in his life were me and my sister and that he didn't want to be related to us anymore. idek what to say.
That's tough. I'm sorry. I have a feeling that if you stand up to him enough he might accept that you are his equal as an adult, but it might be very unpleasant during that time. It sounds like he might be in need of some counseling or some sort of medical assistance, and if so it is good that your Mom realizes that something is up.
It is majorly unfair for him to blame his troubles on you. I don't know if there really IS anything to say to that. Is it possible to not talk to him for a while? Maybe he just needs some time to cool down?
My father has two other daughters, 10 and 14 years older than me, and I think the drama with them made him accept them as adults, and then when I got to college age he more readily accepted me as one from prior experience. It is possible your dad will come around with time.
I understand the feeling of life gathering up so much that it would take you forever and a day to recount it all.
That is absolute bull what your dad did. It is very petty of him. You have your own life to live!
I hope your presentation goes well.
I've had to cut out a lot of my immediate family because they were too negative towards me. Like even when I was living with them I would just stop telling them things, I would stop inviting them to the big events of my life. I would just make small, meaningless talk and then lapse into silence or "What's going on in your life?" "Nothing". I've kept up the habit once I was able to break free a bit. It's not an immediate sundering, but it gave me the distance I needed to crawl my way out of the depression that they fed and still feed into when I talk to them.
Yeah. And then you feel like if you start you'll never stop until you've run out of ink and - ugh. sometimes i just want to lie down and never wake up, you know
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My father is a VERY negative person, one that I have a hard time dealing with on a regular basis. We did not get along at all until about a year ago. I think the turning point was a nock down=drag out fight we had where I told him to accept me as an adult or get out of my life.
That might not be the right move for you and your family, I'm not saying it is, but it is something to think about. I think sometimes parents need a little "wake up call" to realize that their grown children are, in fact, grown.
*hugs* I hope the stress dies down soon.
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I know. the worst part is that everyone in our family knows this, but my dad has said to my face that he'll never respect me as an equal, because i'll always be his 'baby' and because i'll never be as capable/competent as him just from the sheer number of years he has on me. literally, he has said this to my face. he's mocked me for my law degree time and time again, because it's 'not as good as engineering', because i'm 'only a lawyer' like pah.
on one hand i just feel like i should nod and smile and do whatever i want to do anyway. but it's so draining. he's ridiculous. and in the recent years he's become even more irrational, like something's going wrong with him idk.
my mum tried to confront him about it, she said he's being erratic and abnormally quick to anger. he said that the only causes of trouble in his life were me and my sister and that he didn't want to be related to us anymore. idek what to say.
i hope it dies down soon, too.
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It is majorly unfair for him to blame his troubles on you. I don't know if there really IS anything to say to that. Is it possible to not talk to him for a while? Maybe he just needs some time to cool down?
My father has two other daughters, 10 and 14 years older than me, and I think the drama with them made him accept them as adults, and then when I got to college age he more readily accepted me as one from prior experience. It is possible your dad will come around with time.
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Thank you for talking to be though. It's sometimes good to know that I'm not the only one. *hugs*
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That is absolute bull what your dad did. It is very petty of him. You have your own life to live!
I hope your presentation goes well.
I've had to cut out a lot of my immediate family because they were too negative towards me. Like even when I was living with them I would just stop telling them things, I would stop inviting them to the big events of my life. I would just make small, meaningless talk and then lapse into silence or "What's going on in your life?" "Nothing". I've kept up the habit once I was able to break free a bit. It's not an immediate sundering, but it gave me the distance I needed to crawl my way out of the depression that they fed and still feed into when I talk to them.
If you ever need to vent, I am here to listen.
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