today is june
today is the first day ive had to myself in a while so ive just thought about everything and want to write it down. more for myself than for anyone else because i find all of this interesting to go back and look at.
kacie and i had one on one time for the first time ever and thats always when things get interesting. we talked about a lot of stuff but mainly how things and people in college are. i find myself visiting this topic a lot here lately.
i've padlocked my heart for a while.
it's on pretty tight but after today i dont feel so bad about that.
i realize how much growing up i have to do and im faithful that it will all happen in good time. for now i'll be me.
i think a lot about concepts that a lot of people dont like to think about. i'd write about it but i'd feel a little too exposed. i dont know why everything is so scary.
sometimes i get really teary eyed for no reason. like i'll be sitting in my room and think about my fish and the fact that she'll die one day and cry.
i wonder if other people feel emotions as intensely as i feel them. i believe in astrology and according to the zodiac, pisces is one of the most intuitive signs. they say that we literally feed off of the vibes of people around us. we're very sensual and the oldest sign which represents being ahead of our years. i dont act ahead of my years i think the years are ahead of me.
sometimes the feeling of tears streaming down your cheeks is refreshing. its like all the anxiety from whatever you're crying about is coming out through your eyes. they sting because you hurt and they have to be hot or it wouldnt be as affective. then you sniff up the snot and move on with your life.
the world hates weak people. but when its hard to think how do you gain strength? i think thoughtlessness is the root of all heartache because emotions turn off your brain and put your heart in overdrive and when you think without logic you lose yourself in something that to everyone else is simple. we all know this but it gets us every time. then i guess one day you realize that its not so important anymore and you begin to think with the right organ again and life returns to as normal as it can be after finding yourself again.
i guess sometimes i just have too many thoughts in my head and they need to come out so i write them all down online incase anyone decide they want to pick through them.
so.
theres my brain on screen.