Later Thoughts

[oceanhawk]

I know this is going to sound pretentious but I will say it anyway: I can't decide if friendship is a series of learned behaviors. Or not.

I forgot to put on my glasses for this.

I finally finished Cat's Eye yesterday after three or four years of having it on my shelf, following me to college and home again, back and forth. Now my thoughts are

Comments

[dee_i_am]

A series of learned behaviors, you say?

The philosopher in me wants you to elaborate. <.

[oceanhawk]

Like...okay...so I have my friends here in Buenos Aires, right? And as I'm beginning to talk to my friends from Bard again that I hadn't had too much contact with, I realized that I'd forgotten how to behave around them. I was behaving how I behave around my Buenos Aires friends, which isn't too different, but just enough that I think it weirds out my Bard friends. In a lot of my friendships, getting to know someone seems to also involve the process of learning what behavior will elicit a positive response and more conversation, and which ones will do the opposite. It's not even in terms of subject conversation or jokes, but more general than that...attitude, physical gestures, even physical contact. I don't know if I'm making much sense

[chewy01234]

I agree and disagree. I agree that friendships involve a series of learned behaviors but I don't think they ARE a series of learned behaviors. You know what I mean?

All social relationships involve learned behavior. That's kind of how societies work!

Sometimes you can fall into a routine sure but many times a friendship is thrust into new territory where there is no routine to fall back on. I remember one time Katie Burke had to break some bad news to me and I was basically sobbing on the phone to her. I had never broken down like that in front of ANY of my friends before but she handled it so well. She helped me through a real difficult time in my life and I'll never forget that.

I guess it's those once in a lifetime moments that really show who you really are.

[ktin520]

I guess some friendships are and some friendships aren't. I wonder if they all become series of learned behaviors in the end.

I really loved Cat's Eye when I read it the first time, but the circumstances of my life are so different now that I don't know if I'd even like it at this point. It seems like it might be really melodramatic, which is what I needed at that point. But sometimes (be it ever so rare) Atwood is so subtle, so maybe it really was as good as I thought it was.

Did you love it?

[oceanhawk]

I don't know if I loved it. The thing was staring at me for so long, and so many people kept talking about it that it developed a sort of ominous and dazzling presence in my mind. I thought it was interesting, and at first I fell in love with the way she wrote, but after over four hundred pages her style wore a little thin for me. I think I appreciated it in many ways, but I don't think I could say I loved it, and this makes me feel like a bitch.

[chewy01234]

I dunno, I like the embarrassing details. That's what you learn from I guess.
And technically if you think about it, since it's my LJ, it is my version =)

But anyway, stop feeling woozy! I love you!

[oceanhawk]

Oh snap!