Sleep Patterns...so interesting!
I can't make things work. This entry was longer than I thought it would be, hence the cut.
If I sleep three to five hours a night I feel productive and alive and do things like go to the gym, but I feel somewhat dead during the day (not necessary, but after a few days of sleeping this way it begins to happen). My favorite sleep pattern now involves going to bed anywhere from 10pm to midnight and waking up somewhere from 4am to 6am, depending. Occasionally this yields a few hours of sleep, but at times I can get in a somewhat healthier 6 or 7 hours, which is ideal but not easily achieved. This sleep pattern makes me feel like I'm alive and helps stave off depression, but it also means that I don't see people very often, which makes my friends think that I'm ignoring them. The up side though is that it seems to stimulate more creativity.
The alternative seems to be sleeping for unhealthily long periods of time. I suppose it isn't that bad, but I can't seem to just get 8 hours of sleep, or 9 hours. It always seems to turn into 12 hours or more once I hit the 8 hour mark. Then I spend days just sleeping, which makes me sleepier, so I take naps during the day even though I've gotten excessive amounts of sleep the night before. This makes me quite depressed and interferes with my work. This also typically results in me not seeing much of my friends.
My new favorite way to sleep, no matter how many hours I get, is with my lights on, my computer open next to me, playing music, occasionally with my glasses on and with books physically in the bed with me. This makes me feel like I'm not actually going to sleep but instead taking an extended nap. I enjoy sleeping, but taking so much time out of my day to do so has begun to upset me. Doing it this way makes me feel like I could potentially be doing work, even if I'm not.
The most attractive thing right now is any form of escapism. I just don't want to have to worry about things anymore. I wish I could be like my father, who seems to have perfected the "I'm a productive member of society who also doesn't worry about anything" shtick. He keeps trying to convince me to do the same, but if I adopted the same attitude, I feel like it would go very badly for me.
On a more positive note, I got into all the classes I registered for next semester, which include "Latin American Politics", "Revolution and Social Change in Art of Latin America", "Powers of Horror" as well as senior project. I'm extremely proud of myself for getting into "Powers of Horror" as it's one of the most popular classes at Bard, and everyone is in love with the professor. It should be a fun lit class, which I will need considering the potential that the other two have to kick my ass. Conrad might also be in it?
I feel like posting a description of the class, because I'm a little excited:
This seminar will examine how notions of horror and terror construct the modern western subject by focusing on the gothic genre as a response to such historical developments as the French Revolution, European imperialism, the Cold War, and the so-called “epistemological crisis” of postmodernity. We will examine stock gothic characters including the medieval tyrant, the evil priest, the vampire, the sexual deviant, the doppelgänger, the madman, and the cyborg in order to ascertain why such figures emerge at the precise moments when western culture seems so confidently to assert its orderliness, rationality, and humanitarianism. Readings will include Charles Brockden Brown’s Wieland, Matthew Lewis’s The Monk, Sheridan Le Fanu’s Carmilla, and Henry James’s Turn of the Screw, as well as critical works by Marx, Freud, Foucault, Jameson, Butler, Blanchot, and Haraway. Screenings will include Murnau’s Nosferatu, Kenton’s Island of Lost Souls, Fuller’s Shock Corridor, and Rivera’s Why Cybraceros.
Last night was also very fun and extremely necessary. I didn't expect to enjoy myself, but it turned out to be exactly the sort of night that I typically want but find difficult to obtain. Good times.
Also,
http://lookatthislovelyhamster.tumblr.com/post/100599174/to-tame-the-unicorn-and-lion-wild-to-mock-the
If I sleep three to five hours a night I feel productive and alive and do things like go to the gym, but I feel somewhat dead during the day (not necessary, but after a few days of sleeping this way it begins to happen). My favorite sleep pattern now involves going to bed anywhere from 10pm to midnight and waking up somewhere from 4am to 6am, depending. Occasionally this yields a few hours of sleep, but at times I can get in a somewhat healthier 6 or 7 hours, which is ideal but not easily achieved. This sleep pattern makes me feel like I'm alive and helps stave off depression, but it also means that I don't see people very often, which makes my friends think that I'm ignoring them. The up side though is that it seems to stimulate more creativity.
The alternative seems to be sleeping for unhealthily long periods of time. I suppose it isn't that bad, but I can't seem to just get 8 hours of sleep, or 9 hours. It always seems to turn into 12 hours or more once I hit the 8 hour mark. Then I spend days just sleeping, which makes me sleepier, so I take naps during the day even though I've gotten excessive amounts of sleep the night before. This makes me quite depressed and interferes with my work. This also typically results in me not seeing much of my friends.
My new favorite way to sleep, no matter how many hours I get, is with my lights on, my computer open next to me, playing music, occasionally with my glasses on and with books physically in the bed with me. This makes me feel like I'm not actually going to sleep but instead taking an extended nap. I enjoy sleeping, but taking so much time out of my day to do so has begun to upset me. Doing it this way makes me feel like I could potentially be doing work, even if I'm not.
The most attractive thing right now is any form of escapism. I just don't want to have to worry about things anymore. I wish I could be like my father, who seems to have perfected the "I'm a productive member of society who also doesn't worry about anything" shtick. He keeps trying to convince me to do the same, but if I adopted the same attitude, I feel like it would go very badly for me.
On a more positive note, I got into all the classes I registered for next semester, which include "Latin American Politics", "Revolution and Social Change in Art of Latin America", "Powers of Horror" as well as senior project. I'm extremely proud of myself for getting into "Powers of Horror" as it's one of the most popular classes at Bard, and everyone is in love with the professor. It should be a fun lit class, which I will need considering the potential that the other two have to kick my ass. Conrad might also be in it?
I feel like posting a description of the class, because I'm a little excited:
This seminar will examine how notions of horror and terror construct the modern western subject by focusing on the gothic genre as a response to such historical developments as the French Revolution, European imperialism, the Cold War, and the so-called “epistemological crisis” of postmodernity. We will examine stock gothic characters including the medieval tyrant, the evil priest, the vampire, the sexual deviant, the doppelgänger, the madman, and the cyborg in order to ascertain why such figures emerge at the precise moments when western culture seems so confidently to assert its orderliness, rationality, and humanitarianism. Readings will include Charles Brockden Brown’s Wieland, Matthew Lewis’s The Monk, Sheridan Le Fanu’s Carmilla, and Henry James’s Turn of the Screw, as well as critical works by Marx, Freud, Foucault, Jameson, Butler, Blanchot, and Haraway. Screenings will include Murnau’s Nosferatu, Kenton’s Island of Lost Souls, Fuller’s Shock Corridor, and Rivera’s Why Cybraceros.
Last night was also very fun and extremely necessary. I didn't expect to enjoy myself, but it turned out to be exactly the sort of night that I typically want but find difficult to obtain. Good times.
Also,
http://lookatthislovelyhamster.tumblr.com/post/100599174/to-tame-the-unicorn-and-lion-wild-to-mock-the