this one's for aubs

[ochodias]

 dear LJ,

it's been a long time.

these days i'm struggling to understand how my struggle to understand why psychiatry is so painful for me can tell me something about who i am. if that makes sense. it's weird, i'm super interested, but it's so insanely painful. and it's not painful because it's sadder than any other illness. shit! other illnesses

Comments

[dirkandduck]

Amazing. I just happened to log into LJ because of our correspondence!!! and you dedicated the post to me!

3 years. I'm starting to feel like 3 years is NOTHING. Is that weird?

I think you should do all the things you mentioned in this order:
-go to the carribean and carve out new identity for self...(6 months-1 year a.k.a "informal sabbatical")
-come back to where your gonna live FOREVER and get job, save money and do what you're supposed to more or less
-get pregnant and go on maternity leave
-practice guitar while simultaneously nursing baby???

[ochodias]

hahahaha.

i was kind of kidding about all of it, but I like your game plan for my life. i know what you mean about 3 years being nothing. isn't it strange? e.g. i'm still in love with you even though i only see you ~ twice per year.

[leprincemort]

oh, katy! (can i still call you that?) i have a file somewhere of activists and leftists writing on psychiatry and mental illness. i don't know if it'll help, but i'll try to dig it up. maybe it's painful because mental illness can churn up scary political and philosophical issues about personal responsibility, personality, and autonomy. in any case, it's easy to justify being driven up the wall by someone whose personality you dislike, but if they have a personality disorder . . . i think you should only judge yourself on your actual actions, and not on the basis of your feelings or inner reactions. you're only a bad person if you intentionally or negligently harm others. i doubt you do either

[dr_fagnew]

Yeah, I'd stay on the other line forever for you katiebaby.

next wednesday?

[ochodias]

aw! everything you said is so thoughtful!

it's so true about mental illness relating so closely to autonomy and personal and even societal responsibility. when the majority of the 'psych ward' is there on a court order, it starts to make you wonder whether you're part of a hideous machine taking away people's rights...

i'd love to read your lefty mental illness files. it's funny... every time i get perplexed about something in medicine, i spend a few months thinking i have to figure it out on my own, before one of my non-medical friends points out to me that they've been working on this very thing for years.

PS is there a cottage trip in the works again for this year?

xoxo

[leprincemort]

actually, i don't think you ever spelled it like that. oops.

[pullnopunches]

hi, maniac! i love that everyone's back on here. and i can't wait until you're a certified whateves, and you can tell me that i just have slight hypochondria. ♥

[ochodias]

i can't wait either. my med school friends are all waiting to be set up to just give each other pap tests so we never have to wait for appointments again.

one of my 'party tricks' to entertain (/make friends with) the nurses on night shifts, is to sit down and (more or less) psych interview them while they try to get me to diagnose their husbands with stuff. they love it! (i love it)

chikara imamura

[anonymous]

Hi