Comments | octavia_blue: CAPTCHA the flag

octavia_blue

CAPTCHA the flag

Feb 19, 2015 08:50

You flick through the photos of her on your phone again. This one maybe? You like how her hair is framed in gold by the sunlight. But it is a little out of focus... You swipe your fingers across the screen and you see her at the beach in her teeny pink bikini laughing as the waves caress her body. Breath-taking, but not quite right. You swipe again ( Read more... )

Comments 18

basric February 20 2015, 03:50:57 UTC

I enjoyed.

octavia_blue February 21 2015, 19:13:03 UTC

Thanks!! :-)

crisp_sobriety February 20 2015, 14:35:29 UTC

First of all, you have my immense respect for tackling a prompt like captcha the flag. I always considered that the hardest one.

Secondly, this is chilling. I started to pick up that something was wrong when he was thinking about posting the picture on the internet to 'announce it to everybody' --especially when he posted it before he even had anything to announce. Never trust anyone who's too eager to make private matters public. My creepy-meter went off the scale at this description: "You know by looking at the photo that she is thinking of you." Actual shivers.

I really liked the slight taste of a supernatural element, with the captcha calling him out. And the girl he was stalking turning out to be so young...man.

This was excellently done!

octavia_blue February 21 2015, 19:16:23 UTC

Thanks!! I worked out after I wrote it (don't tell Jexia) it is the first short story I've written in nearly 20 years - since high school (more recent projects are in the unfinished novel category!)

dmousey February 20 2015, 22:24:48 UTC

Wow... just wow. I did not expect that at all. I truly didn't see it coming. You really drew us into his world and made him likeable- Damn you (I mean that with all respect!) - but, by God, the reveal, and the twist itself being a Captcha (nice that), incredible piece.

octavia_blue February 21 2015, 19:17:18 UTC

Thanks dmousey, that was what I was aiming for so means a lot to me!! ;-)

ext_2828400 February 22 2015, 08:05:56 UTC

Brrr, chilling! I didn't see that one coming. And a dead kitten too? Poor wee thing.

octavia_blue February 23 2015, 06:54:54 UTC

Yes I felt guilty about the kitten!

i_17bingo February 22 2015, 08:17:28 UTC

She hates them, her freckles, but you could draw the shape and position of every one of them on the map of your heart.

Oh, that's beautiful!

URAMONSTER

Agh! Not beautiful! Not beautiful! OMG! OMG!

This was incredibly well done and shocking, and I loved it, even though it made me feel gross (which is the purpose, and why I love it).

octavia_blue March 6 2015, 03:26:48 UTC

Thanks so much for picking out those lines!! (and for your supportive comment, it means a lot to me - and so sorry for the delay in responding!!!)