Is he a good baby?

[odd_on_purpose]

This is a question that I get asked a lot, both by parents and non-parents when we are making polite conversation about my baby. What people mean by this question, I have determined, is "Does he cry a lot?" I have two answers to that question

Comments

[anonymous]

I too have thought about this question and am puzzled by it. A baby is incapable of being bad, so it's weird phrasing to start with, yet people persist. The toddler version is something along the lines of "Is your toddler an asshole?" (except in nicer terms but I know what people are asking when they say it.) What I think they might be trying to get it is a way of asking "Does your baby need you a lot and are you inconvenienced because of it?" or (if you have other children) "How easy is it for you to do things in life that don't involve your baby?" It's funny because crying is the only way babies have to communicate, so apparently a "good" baby is one that is not interested in telling you what his needs are. This is nuts

[odd_on_purpose]

It makes me happy that you like my parenting style -- Stewart seems like such a kind, curious, intelligent little soul. I'd be thrilled if Lucas turns out like him!

I like the way you think about this issue. It is so much nicer to frame it as "my child needs me to help him navigate the world" as opposed to "my kid is super needy and clingy." So much about parenthood is attitude! I remember when I was still pregnant being so sick of parents with bad attitudes. When I would say how excited I was to meet my son, they would scoff "Just wait until he gets here, that feeling will go away!"" or "Have fun never sleeping again!" Neither of which turned out to be true, of course -- I'm excited and happy to parent my son every single day (although perhaps not every single minute - see above reference to "shrieking hell beast") and I sleep plenty now that he's a bit older. I try to be as positive as I can with soon-to-be parents or future parents while still being realistic. But there's no need for joy-squashing negativity!

[anonymous]

Thanks! :) I have read (and continue to read) a lot about attachment parenting - it seems to describe the positive outlook we both have on raising our sons and gives me ideas/support when I need it. I also bought a few books specifically about raising boys that I found pretty interesting. I agree with what you said about attitude - so much of EVERYTHING is attitude, if people would only realize that!

Enjoy your wonderful little shrieking hell beast and please post more pictures of him. :)

[odd_on_purpose]

I am on board with attachment parenting for sure except that bed-sharing makes me far too nervous so Lucas has always been in a bassinet or crib! That's a good idea to read about raising boys, I'll have to look into it. Any recommendations?