Everything you're feeling now is completely normal! It WILL get better, you just gotta go with the flow.
That alone, lost feeling, I know really well. But don't forget I'm like three or four train stations away!
The quiet is terrifying and has turned me into a self-reflecting monster, but maybe you can turn that suffocating quiet into time for yourself, get to know yourself better, sort out everything...but yeah now I'm sounding like crazy yoga lady....hmm I think it's time I go to bed now >_>
BUT YES.
YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
And the crying is probably good for you. Sometimes I want to, but for some reason I just can't :/ SO I'm waiting for it to happen at a very inopportune moment.
Seriously, I told my sister already, I think I would feel more like just "fuck it I'm leaving already" if I hadn't been able to see you. It's like the job gives me this deceptively free time mindset and I end up just spacing while I'm sitting in my little cubicle thingy and I'm beginning to feel that maybe I'd feel less crazy if I actually SAW my students...I dunno though.
AUGH, I just need to kick this bizzare-o melancholy. I think my gank sleeping schedule is so not helping @_@ I'm going to try to make my place feel more...homey too, maybe that'll help. ALSO, a phone @_@ I just need to find someone to go to AU with me once I get all my documentation.... you said they wouldn't let you get a phone until you had your REAL ID card, like they wouldn't let you use that paper stand in? How long did it take them to get your card? Getting ON this settling in, I know it has to help *頑張るpose*
Yeah, when I was in Kobe all they needed was the paper stand in, but it may depend on what shop you go to. I'll be totally glad to go with you if you'd like, I think I'm off next Monday!
It's barely been two weeks yet, so you're bound to still feel weird, no worries there. Atleast you have a furnished apartment and a job! That's way more than I had when I got here! xD
I will give you a call tonight and maybe we can meet up.
The whole making the apartment more homey thing also helps the sanity. I have some flyers I need to give you!! o_o
yay homeyness!! I think I'm going to try some retail therapy to make myself feel better too....maybe a new blue ranger toy and a couple of actor/VK magazines might not hurt XD
But yes I would totally LOVE for you to go to the store with me!! I have such paranoia about how much my Japanese has become FAIL in the last year and a half or so ;_;
D: You're not a whiny little bitch, you're in a whole new environment, and that's always a huge adjustment that stress most people out to an extreme, let alone when you've had to endure what you have.
♥ I think I just feel like I'm being whiny because I finally got what I wanted. I came here, and I know SO many people that want to do the exact same thing...and all I can think about it just wanting to go home. It's like the stifling feeling I get from being home is completely forgotten >.<
*bighugs* I appreciate the belief in me though...I think I need it. I wake up every morning with this renewed "CAN DO" attitude and somewhere between waking up and leaving the apartment it seems to dwindle for some reason. Maybe I just need to figure out how to stop waking up at 5 and 6 am XD
Comments 6
It WILL get better, you just gotta go with the flow.
That alone, lost feeling, I know really well.
But don't forget I'm like three or four train stations away!
The quiet is terrifying and has turned me into a self-reflecting monster, but maybe you can turn that suffocating quiet into time for yourself, get to know yourself better, sort out everything...but yeah now I'm sounding like crazy yoga lady....hmm I think it's time I go to bed now >_>
BUT YES.
YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
And the crying is probably good for you. Sometimes I want to, but for some reason I just can't :/ SO I'm waiting for it to happen at a very inopportune moment.
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Seriously, I told my sister already, I think I would feel more like just "fuck it I'm leaving already" if I hadn't been able to see you. It's like the job gives me this deceptively free time mindset and I end up just spacing while I'm sitting in my little cubicle thingy and I'm beginning to feel that maybe I'd feel less crazy if I actually SAW my students...I dunno though.
AUGH, I just need to kick this bizzare-o melancholy. I think my gank sleeping schedule is so not helping @_@ I'm going to try to make my place feel more...homey too, maybe that'll help.
ALSO, a phone @_@ I just need to find someone to go to AU with me once I get all my documentation....
you said they wouldn't let you get a phone until you had your REAL ID card, like they wouldn't let you use that paper stand in? How long did it take them to get your card? Getting ON this settling in, I know it has to help *頑張るpose*
Reply
I'll be totally glad to go with you if you'd like, I think I'm off next Monday!
It's barely been two weeks yet, so you're bound to still feel weird, no worries there. Atleast you have a furnished apartment and a job! That's way more than I had when I got here! xD
I will give you a call tonight and maybe we can meet up.
The whole making the apartment more homey thing also helps the sanity. I have some flyers I need to give you!! o_o
Reply
But yes I would totally LOVE for you to go to the store with me!! I have such paranoia about how much my Japanese has become FAIL in the last year and a half or so ;_;
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Hang in there, you'll get through it. -Hugs.-
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I think I just feel like I'm being whiny because I finally got what I wanted. I came here, and I know SO many people that want to do the exact same thing...and all I can think about it just wanting to go home. It's like the stifling feeling I get from being home is completely forgotten >.<
*bighugs*
I appreciate the belief in me though...I think I need it.
I wake up every morning with this renewed "CAN DO" attitude and somewhere between waking up and leaving the apartment it seems to dwindle for some reason. Maybe I just need to figure out how to stop waking up at 5 and 6 am XD
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