Not So Welcome MySpace Messages
Perpetrator: 'Kevin'
Subject: meow
Body:
damn odd kitty i would luv 2 make u purr!!
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Perpetrator: 'Chuck Heat "THE PRODUCER"'
Subject:
Body:
hello ms kitty no disrespect but jus wanted u to kno im thankful for your thickness.
lol
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Perpetrator: 'Kevin'
Subject: kitty
Body:
morning kitty whatcha doing sexy
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Perpetrator: 'Richard'
Subject: slave
Body:
I acknowledge the superiority of Womankind and bow at Her High Feet as Her slave. My place in the world is to serve my Queen and do as I am told. Balance must be brought into the world and Women must come into a position of total Dominance. Maam, I will sign any slave contract You write for me, and I believe in true slavery, which is You having total power over me in all, and the right to punish my cock & balls without mercy or any safeword for me. To inflict absolute pain on my cock & balls is to experience Absolute Power for Yourself, Maam. This is the true slavery I submit my cock & balls & self to. Also, I am trained to fuck for hours and not cum, and to pleasure Your Pussy any way You command me-Yes Maam. rwm70rwm@gmail.com.... 601-692-7438.....slave richard
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Perpetrator: 'Jason'
Subject: hi !
Body:
why do you look so depressed yo , you should smile some :)
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Perpetrator: 'A-FRESH'
Subject: whats up
Body:
how you doing ms odd kitty.
holla back
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Perpetrator: 'Jon'
Subject:
Body:
hey sexy how are you?
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Perpetrator: 'hahaboy'
Subject:
Body:
hello u pretty.....do u like black men
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Perpetrator: 'Dewayne'
Subject: hi
Body:
hi whats up cutey add me and y u so board lol
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Perpetrator: 'W.'
Subject: hi
Body:
hello my name is will im currently in saltillo,ms...ive just gotten back from my 2nd trip of iraq...just looking to interact with different people and maybe make some new friends before i have to leave again in april...hope this email finds you well and hope you have a good day...
Will
(Well, at least he's relatively literate and not dumb, right?)
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Perpetrator: 'jonathan'
Subject: hey
Body:
just wondering anything happnen thiss weekend?
(Personally, I'm more amused at his URL - myspace.com/slickscrib. WTF? )
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Perpetrator: 'U of M'
Subject: hi
Body:
ur sooo gorgeous and u got a really pretty smile
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Perpetrator: '$$FERN@NDO$$'
Subject:
Body:
Hey beautiful you would like to be my girlfriend LOL!!!!
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Perpetrator: 'michael'
Subject: hey sexy
Body:
hey sexy whats up how you doing this mornen
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Perpetrator: 'rhett'
Subject: hi
Body:
you are so cute wish i could get to know you better
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Perpetrator: 'james'
Subject:
Body:
hey how r you doing
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Perpetrator: 'Jaswan'
Subject: hi !
Body:
Hi there?
I m Jas, male, 32, working with olemiss..
lets us be friends..
jas
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Perpetrator: 'Cowboy'
Subject: hey
Body:
hey I thought that we could be friends. talk get to know eachother and stuff if you wanted to. Well hope to hear from you soon. oh yea you prob hear this all the time but you are very beautiful.
Billy
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Perpetrator: 'Christopher'
Subject:
Body:
hey whats up i was looking at your profile ur pretty where are you from cutie
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Perpetrator: '~DUCKY~'
Subject: Hey
Body:
I'm into meeting people. I'm very much a people person. What about you?
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Perpetrator: 'Scott Jennings'
Subject: hello how are you
Body:
May I be a friend
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Perpetrator: 'Cameron'
Subject:
Body:
Hey. My name is Cam. We should talk. Hit me back if you're interested.
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Perpetrator: 'Metal Head'
Subject: hi
Body:
hiya how ru?nice pics u look very gorgous.can we chat?xx
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Perpetrator: 'Manly Man'
Subject: hey
Body:
I wanna see your fedora...live ,in person...lol You sure are cute and I love all your pics. Are you interested in older men? message me back and maybe we can chat or talk? 48/m/Oxford
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Perpetrator: 'B-B-B-BOOSH'
Subject: hey
Body:
whats up? god you are gorgeous! so you like warcrack?
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Perpetrator: 'scott'
Subject: Hey
Body:
I was browsing through myspace and came across your page and was like hey, she looks pretty cool so I checked out your page and congratulations lol, bc u r! So I was wondering, would it be ok if i instant messaged u sometime?
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Perpetrator: 'THOMAS'
Subject: hey
Body:
hey there beautiful, how are you doing?? not too busy to chat are you?? hope i didnt bother you.
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Perpetrator: 'phillip'
Subject:
Body:
hows it goin with you tonight gorgeous?
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Perpetrator: 'Dan'
Subject: Hi there
Body:
Wow, cute pics! What is there to do In Oxford for fun in the evening? I am traveling from California and I will be there tonight. Call or text my cell at 510-329-4286 if you want to hang out. Dan in Cali
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Perpetrator: 'Jarboe'
Subject: hey...
Body:
yeah just thought id say hi... and... introduce.. myself.. haha but yeah... i liked what i saw on your profile... and it has alot of interesting things.. you seem like a pretty cool chick.. and that made me want to message you... and just thought id ask you if you wouldnt mind messaging back and forth you know if you dont mind getting to know...new peoples and stuff... well here's an ice breaker.. umm... soo how have the fellas been treating you lately huh??
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Perpetrator: 'Jesse'
Subject: hello
Body:
hey there,
I saw your profile pic and thought you were attractive!
Thought I would take a moment and write you, tell you a lil about myself, and ask you a few questions.
First about me, Single, No kids...(want them someday though)..I love to work out, I am running a Marathon in 2 weeks up in Quincy, IL. besides working out, I love to cook, and have drinks with friends...Movies and books when I have free time. But most of all I love to travel.. In the last 6 months I have been to Chicago, Kansas City, St. Louis (over 7 times) New Orleans (2 times) Memphis, Little Rock, Louisville (Kentucky Derby).
Im self employed so there are sometimes I have to work a lot, but also times where I have lots of free time. I am kinda looking for a woman that shares the same interest in traveling... at least long weekend trips, those are the best, that way you don't tired of being in the same place.
I actually Don't live that far from you.
So about you... What do you do for fun? Last place you visited for fun or work? What do you do for a career? Fav Food and Drink?
Well I hope you get a chance to write back... I am on Facebook too. So if you are on there you can find me just search for my name...
Jesse Keyser
P.S. Add me and we chan chat on either sites IM!
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Perpetrator: 'Jon'
Subject:
Body:
hey sexy how are you doing?
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Perpetrator: 'Christopher Jay'
Subject: hey...
Body:
WATSUP GURLY. MY NAME IS CHRIS THOUGHT I WOULD CHAT A MIN. I AM FROM TUPELO AND WENT TO TUPELO HIGH YOU CAN CHECK ME OUT AT CHRISBARKLEY77@MYSPACE.COM
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Perpetrator: 'April'
Subject: Your so pretty so figured Id ask...m.
Body:
If I offended you im sorry. I recently started being referred by a guy that I meet on here that runs an air charter company for lets say entertainment and companionship for some of the costumers they have in town in your area. its a pretty good deal. But if your interested let me know and ill ask him if its ok to give you his .. or myspace or something. Sorry again if I might have offended you its definitely not what I had in mind.
If your wondering occasionally I travel to your area a lot that's how I meet them myself if your wondering..are U or used to be a hooters girl?
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Perpetrator: 'Squirt'
Subject:
Body:
HI, how are you?
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Perpetrator: 'Lance'
Subject: hello kitty
Body:
seems Im having alot of recommendations of folks who went to same school as I, thought you looked familiar, but looked at profile and you werent there till after I had grad. Nice pics btw lass. Hope your halloween/samhain was well, and good day.
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Perpetrator: 'BIG'
Subject:
Body:
how u doin gorgeous
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Perpetrator: 'John'
Subject:
Body:
odd kitty looks cute to me:)
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Perpetrator: 'Jaswan'
Subject: Hi !
Body:
Hi !,
Nice conversation, nice dinner and nice friendship with someone who is soft spoken, caring, intelligent and non smoker and DD free.. This is what I can offer.
Would you like to have a friendship with me?
Jas
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Perpetrator: 'j rhine'
Subject:
Body:
hey sexy!! how are you??..pleaseee message me back sumtime! ;]
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Perpetrator: 'KenDawgRecords'
Subject:
Body:
hey how are u i liked your page im ken by da ..way r u single tell me more about yourself like whats your likes and dislikes ..holla at me also check out my page and pictures to see what u twerkin wit when u get time
And yes, for my own amusement, I am going to start keeping records of them here, starting today, and see how many I get over time.
August 4, 2009 - Update
----What is up with the subject headings being "hi!" or "hey"? Seriously. Can't they be more creative than that?
----Also, I think my favorites so far are the "slave" one and "Manly Man".
----D'you suppose I should start numbering them? o.o
September 16, 2009 - Update
----Okay, so, "Jesse" so far has the most intelligent. Which makes me almost want to respond, but I get the feeling that's not such a good idea. It's still creepy, getting messages like that, no matter how intelligent they sound. I guess I'm just not really cut out for the whole "networking/social interaction" method. At least not like this. If I wanted to find a guy on the Interwebs, I'd do it like I've done it before - chatting in RP areas and such. At least then I know we share a common interest!
October 8, 2009 - Update
----I've been told that "Jesse" was probably pre-scripted, which I kind of figured anyway.
----Holy damn. First female to send me one of these, today. I'm actually kind of amused, considering the thing from a few months ago where that guy sent me the message asking if I was a guy.
November 12, 2009 - Update
----The one from "Lance" actually seems pretty normal, but hell, I figured I'd drop it in here, anyway. Why not, right?
May 25, 2010
----This latest batch includes messages from March 'til now. I just forgot to update them. I'd had a good span of time where I wasn't getting any messages, too. Damn. Looks like that trend is broken.