wedding ceremony help

[oddreee]

hey friends! I am trying to write some poems and etc for our ceremony and would LOVE some honest comments on one that I recently wrote. Can you please let me know if you think it is suitable for the ceremony and if you like it? I would appreciate it heaps! I don't know what it's called

Comments

[emisquee]

This is really, really beautiful Auds. Makes me even sadder that I won't be there. Sniff :(
I tried to call you guys on the weekend but didn't catch you. I might just try and catch you late on a week night and hope that you'll forgive me for calling at an ungodly hour.

my em

[oddreee]

EM! I feel terrible that we keep missing each other. I guess we should keep trying until the planets are aligned and I can hear your voice again. As for the poem, thank you so much for your comment! We will have to get someone to video the ceremomy so I can make a DVD for you and Rita (and Marg!). Oh and I reckon 7am your time is only midnight here so you are welcome to call around then! We are up watching inane telly for hours...

luvaud :)

Re: my em

[ally_in_canada]

Aud...if I had known you were up past midnight, I'd have called you...sick kids make for late late nights.

The poem is very lovely :) You are a talented lil'sister. Very romantic...more so than that overused gazelle leaping from mountain top to mountain top and peeping through windows! (Song of Solomon 2:8-14)

You did a grat job. I'm sure it was a lot of work!!

Take care...

-bigsis

Re: my em

[oddreee]

thanks sis! call me anytime! our time difference is easy to figure out. what is sad is that i am completely wrong in my estimation of what 7am sydney time is--apparently it's 2pm here! well, sometimes 2pm feels like midnight...

luvaud :)

[b_lyrical]

Big thumbs up!
I really like it - so much more wonderful and brave than those readings that promise the world and eternal sunshine and spring forever and endless roses. I really admire the honesty and realism in your words which only add to the strength and authenticity of what you're saying.
On particulars - I don't know the word 'elide', which is my ignorance. I was worried that it sounded like 'alight', which might not be a misunderstanding you'd want!! I love the 'journey' feel to these words, and even more, the fact that you didn't mention the word 'journey'.
I love the visual idea of the line - "The track is being built as the train passes over it". You two have always done it the way that it unfolds for you rather following some set tracks made by someone else, and I'm getting teary thinking of you both.
See you wonderfully soon.
Bxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

thanks!

[oddreee]

brett! thanks so much for your kind words and genuine feedback. This is why I love you. So "elide" can mean: 1. To omit or slur over (a syllable, for example) in pronunciation. 2. To strike out (something written). 3. To eliminate or leave out of consideration. 4. To cut short; abridge. I learned about elision in Latin in high school--you sort of pronounce two words or two sounds as one. So, I guess what I was thinking is that we kind of reunite and smash/slide into each other becoming "one word" or "one sound." Does that make sense? And yes, I suppose some might hear it as alight which would be unfortunate but we can print the words in the program!

Anyway, thanks again and I miss you guys! And check your email because my sister Annie wants to meet up with you in NY and I have passed along her details.

luv to u and gaz!

[rapun_zel]

I love it! No big surprise, i love all your poetry. I'm sure to cry when you read it. Did i tell you i cried watching the weightlifting in the commonwealth games? I'm turning into a regular Jennifer Burton. Someone help me! I'll try calling you this week.
more love
xx

[oddreee]

weightlifting is quite an emotional sport. i cry just thinking of lifting something heavy. sadly, the commonwealth games received zero coverage on tv over here! i will try to imagine australian weightlifters and work up some tears. so i tried calling your mobile but i think my new phone card is too cheap to allow me to do that. let me know when you are at a landline this week and i will ring you.

luvu!!!

Busta rhyme...

[sebitto]

Great going on the poem front Auds, though I gotta say that the word 'elide' also through me a little (yeah big surprise there I know! :P) But yeah its lovely and gets the big thumbs up from me!

As for reading suggestions try google. Google knows EVERYTHING! ;)

Re: Busta rhyme...

[treechick]

Nice! How long did it take you to write, Autumn?

[tanuuu72]

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