Because Tyki made me essay on tumblr and I did.
"Or if you won't sleep essay for me about how Ash feels about being in a relationship that is... aside from the fact that they're both psychos... otherwise FAIRLY stable and has survived for 6 or 7 months so far."
Keep in mind that it's 1 am and this is rambly. Okay, so here goes.
OKAY. So. Ash is… like, he’d never admit to that he actually likes LIKES someone like that? Though it’s pretty apparent he’s good with what he has with Tyki and REMEMBER HE GOT ALL TSUNDERE ON HIM WHEN HE SET STUFF UP WITH MIKA because seriously that just made him so fucking mad.
It’s different with Ash because in his eyes, it’s more of a possessive thing in that he’s comfortable with Tyki and he likes spending time with him and he’s fine with them being something, because while he won’t admit it either to Tyki or himself, Ash needs someone, and since Belus is not around (and he doesn’t have that kind of relationship with Belus anyway), Tyki is someone Ash’s attached himself to. Also Tyki pays ATTENTION to him and Ash is a fucking attention whore and really enjoys it when he (thinks) he can just do whatever he wants. (which he can’t really, because the fights are not that fun, EVEN IF THEY CAN BE SOMETIME because frustration) anyway that was rambly, uhm.
CAMP IS SO FRUSTRATING FOR HIM? Because there is a lot of things they can’t do that is obviously something they both want to do? Even if Ash is experienced in that way where he knows how to go half the way, but then what? It’s not really unknown to him as a FACT but then it’s just. Whatever, it’s just… a thing.
Another very important thing is that Tyki is someone he sort of trusts, and that is a big thing coming from Ash. Ash doesn’t TRUST people, he barely trusts Belus at all, but Tyki comes from a point of view where it seems he understands Ash? In a little part of himself. Tyki has also seen a lot of sides of Ash he has kept to himself, which also sort of defeats the purpose of keeping a wall of polite up, so he can pretty much be himself around Tyki.
Not that he’s not annoyed about his disguise being so shredded and that Tyki probably knows more about him than what Ash would have wanted him to know in the first place.
It’s sort of gotten to a point where Ash is a bit… reliant on Tyki, in a way that if they go a day without really doing anything? Ash just gets … irritated or bored. It’s not really REALLY directly tied to Tyki, but since he has the most fun in his company, Ash connects it a bit to him sometimes. Given the times they’ve been fighting, Ash is actually a bit surprised that they’ve been going steady for so long, but he doesn’t mind it! He feels comfortable around Tyki, he’s someone he just. Enjoys spending time with. (When he’s not getting jealous or mad for some reason because the fights are just dumb, because Ash is a brat.)
The fact that Tyki knows so much about Ash sometimes makes him feel suffocated though, and sometimes he’s talked to other people (not too openly, but) because it felt like was too closed in with just entrusting it all to Tyki. (As if he doesn’t already know most things about him.)
At the moment, Ash is kind of frustrated for several reasons, and he repeatedly squishes the urge to strangle something. Mostly these instances is because of camp being a douche, which isn’t knew. Ash’s grown up with a demon as his guide (unknown to him) but he’s been taught using his powers and to get what he wants when he wants it, and then Belus took that away from him by being a lousy father…brother… thing. AND WHEN IT HAPPENS THAT STUFF GETS TOO OUT OF HAND WITH TYKI it just. Sort of pushes his buttons. He’s not been too bad off about stuff yet, but it might happen soon, and when you’re trained to kill and generally being unstable, he… can’t really quench the urge to kill something because it’s how he vents. At least that’s what he did in the church in the book, just killed off his hench men because HE WAS MAD.
…also if Tyki ever left camp without him or if he wouldn’t meet him again, he’d be so angry. Really really fucking angry. Tyki is not really on par of how Belus is “HIS” but… it’s a similar thing. (Less possessive and more like… ……………………IDK I’ve just sort of rambled now :|a)
THERE. HAPPY?
Keep in mind that it's 1 am and this is rambly. Okay, so here goes.
OKAY. So. Ash is… like, he’d never admit to that he actually likes LIKES someone like that? Though it’s pretty apparent he’s good with what he has with Tyki and REMEMBER HE GOT ALL TSUNDERE ON HIM WHEN HE SET STUFF UP WITH MIKA because seriously that just made him so fucking mad.
It’s different with Ash because in his eyes, it’s more of a possessive thing in that he’s comfortable with Tyki and he likes spending time with him and he’s fine with them being something, because while he won’t admit it either to Tyki or himself, Ash needs someone, and since Belus is not around (and he doesn’t have that kind of relationship with Belus anyway), Tyki is someone Ash’s attached himself to. Also Tyki pays ATTENTION to him and Ash is a fucking attention whore and really enjoys it when he (thinks) he can just do whatever he wants. (which he can’t really, because the fights are not that fun, EVEN IF THEY CAN BE SOMETIME because frustration) anyway that was rambly, uhm.
CAMP IS SO FRUSTRATING FOR HIM? Because there is a lot of things they can’t do that is obviously something they both want to do? Even if Ash is experienced in that way where he knows how to go half the way, but then what? It’s not really unknown to him as a FACT but then it’s just. Whatever, it’s just… a thing.
Another very important thing is that Tyki is someone he sort of trusts, and that is a big thing coming from Ash. Ash doesn’t TRUST people, he barely trusts Belus at all, but Tyki comes from a point of view where it seems he understands Ash? In a little part of himself. Tyki has also seen a lot of sides of Ash he has kept to himself, which also sort of defeats the purpose of keeping a wall of polite up, so he can pretty much be himself around Tyki.
Not that he’s not annoyed about his disguise being so shredded and that Tyki probably knows more about him than what Ash would have wanted him to know in the first place.
It’s sort of gotten to a point where Ash is a bit… reliant on Tyki, in a way that if they go a day without really doing anything? Ash just gets … irritated or bored. It’s not really REALLY directly tied to Tyki, but since he has the most fun in his company, Ash connects it a bit to him sometimes. Given the times they’ve been fighting, Ash is actually a bit surprised that they’ve been going steady for so long, but he doesn’t mind it! He feels comfortable around Tyki, he’s someone he just. Enjoys spending time with. (When he’s not getting jealous or mad for some reason because the fights are just dumb, because Ash is a brat.)
The fact that Tyki knows so much about Ash sometimes makes him feel suffocated though, and sometimes he’s talked to other people (not too openly, but) because it felt like was too closed in with just entrusting it all to Tyki. (As if he doesn’t already know most things about him.)
At the moment, Ash is kind of frustrated for several reasons, and he repeatedly squishes the urge to strangle something. Mostly these instances is because of camp being a douche, which isn’t knew. Ash’s grown up with a demon as his guide (unknown to him) but he’s been taught using his powers and to get what he wants when he wants it, and then Belus took that away from him by being a lousy father…brother… thing. AND WHEN IT HAPPENS THAT STUFF GETS TOO OUT OF HAND WITH TYKI it just. Sort of pushes his buttons. He’s not been too bad off about stuff yet, but it might happen soon, and when you’re trained to kill and generally being unstable, he… can’t really quench the urge to kill something because it’s how he vents. At least that’s what he did in the church in the book, just killed off his hench men because HE WAS MAD.
…also if Tyki ever left camp without him or if he wouldn’t meet him again, he’d be so angry. Really really fucking angry. Tyki is not really on par of how Belus is “HIS” but… it’s a similar thing. (Less possessive and more like… ……………………IDK I’ve just sort of rambled now :|a)
THERE. HAPPY?