Glee, 2,871 words. We're nearing the end, y'all. :(
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9. it goes on and on
-the avett brothers
For the first time in his life, Puck couldn't wait to go to school Monday morning. He knew dudes weren't supposed to say shit like, "I've been thinking about you all weekend" but fuck man, between all his inner turmoil, being confined to his goddamn room for the past 48 hours and remembering so vividly the feeling of her pressed up against him, you can bet your ass he was thinking about Rachel all weekend. In fact, Sunday afternoon, his mom almost walked in on him, uh, thinking. Lucky for him, after eighth grade, he made a point of always locking the door. But really though, the weird thing was that his thinking wasn't only of the imagining-her-naked variety; he actually thought about other stuff too, like what a cool chick she was when she wasn't being a spaz and how dudes at McKinley didn't know what they were missing. He thought about how small her hands were and how soft the skin on the back of her neck was. He thought about her pink pajama bottoms with little purple elephants and how the way she always said what was on her mind, no matter what anyone thought, reminded him a lot of himself. Puck knew thinking all these things made him certifiably fruity, but it was hard not to. In all his sixteen years, she was the only girl he'd ever known who made a point to tell him what a dumbass he was and yet still put up with him. She never conspired to be his girlfriend or fell over herself to make him dig her, and she was definitely the only person who saw him beyond his rep. The truth of the matter was that Puck was a douche to most girls because he didn't really give a shit about any of 'em, but when he actually cared about someone? Things were a lot different. For a while there, he really did care about Quinn, but she bailed like everyone else did when she saw what fuck up he was. For some reason though, Rachel didn't.
On Monday morning, he picked her up from her house (actually, more like a block away from her house so her dads wouldn't see him) on his way to school. When she climbed up into his front seat, it was like any other Monday morning and her mouth was running a mile a minute.
"You know you didn't have to do this, Noah, I'm perfectly content riding the bus! I only have a few more weeks until I get my license, which I am so excited for, by the way. Plus, there's something inspiring about a good ol' fashioned bus ride. It's almost cathartic, that time I get with my iPod-"
When she realized that the car was still in park and he was staring at her, his head tilted to one side and that trademark Puckerman half-smile tattooed on his face, she grew quiet and a bit self-conscious. She wasn't stupid: she knew her and Puck were officially an unofficial couple, but it was weird to face him and what they had with the morning sun shining in her eyes and the notes for her bio quiz on her lap. It was strange how things worked: all she ever wanted was a real, honest to goodness, love-you-til-the-day-I-die boyfriend, and now that she was about a half step away from that, she was scared. (Probably because it was Noah Puckerman - not exactly her fairy tale leading man - and this wasn’t as easy as she thought it’d be).
She took a deep breath, and smiled, trying to imagine that they weren't on their way to school but rather hanging out in his room reviewing theorems and postulates.
She tilted her head towards him and glared jokingly. "Noah, your smitten kitten routine is making me seriously question your badassness."
"Shut up, Berry." For a split second, he thought of following that up with, 'and come to Big Papa' but he knew that would warrant the lecture to end all lectures because she never got his jokes. So instead, he actually thought before he spoke (a first!) and leaned over and kissed her warmly as her hands fluttered up to his face. When he finally pulled away, her eyes were still closed so he gave her one more quick peck before turning to the steering wheel again. He didn’t get far though, because she was tugging him back by the collar of his flannel shirt, crushing his lips back against hers roughly. He smiled as their teeth clashed and their tongues battled.
She was the first to pull away this time, clearing her throat and combing her fingers through her hair, leaving him really pleased with himself and slightly dazed from how tight his jeans suddenly felt.
"So, I have this absolutely abominable biology quiz coming up first period...I wouldn't be surprised if I got a B+ on it, there is just way too much material and he didn't give us enough advanced notice to prepare for it at all. Plus, you know how I hate all this dissection business...I just can't relate, okay? Is it so wrong that I find it heartless to cut open something that was once alive all for the sake of testing my knowledge of material that I'm never going to even use or need in my future career in musical theater?-"
As usual, Puck wasn't listening to a word she said, and instead was thinking about whether Quinn had told Finn about the baby or her leaving. No matter what weird soul-connection vibe Finn had going on with Rachel in the beginning, the reality was that the boy was in love with Quinn. It wasn't just because he thought she was the mother of his baby that he stuck with her the way he did. Come on, you know shit's real when the dude takes a verbal beat down basically every day and still sings her love songs for fun. That was part of the reason why telling Finn about him and Quinn was so fucking hard: Finn was just a big, naïve kid in love.
As her blathering continued on, his mind wandered to what it would be like walking into school with Rachel and being together together, and if it would mean he'd lose his place in the social hierarchy (as she'd say) and be destined to live the life of a gleek for the rest of his high school days. He was pretty sure that last time around, the shit he took was more for Glee than her- it was universally recognized that Rachel Berry had a great ass but her weirdness always outweighed the pluses. His popularity may not have been enough to dig her out of the dregs of loserdom (broaching the topic of her changing her personality was definitely not gonna happen...Plus, he was starting to think her weirdness was cute) but he was pretty sure her rep wasn't enough to bring him down. Come on, he was Puck. Let’s be real here.
She was still talking and he was still not listening when he reached over without thinking and put his hand on her knee. She looked down and her voice caught in her throat for a second before she lifted his hand and sandwiched it between her own.
"So, I only ask this because I have no real experience with things like this, and seeing as what we have now is a pretty unique situation compared to last time-"
"Out with it, Berry."
"Does this mean you're not gonna drop me off a block from school and make me walk the rest of the way?"
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When they got to school, she was afraid (and secretly hoping) he'd do something overt and awful like sling his arm around his shoulder or call her baby in public, but he didn't. He did something infinitely better. They were talking about some stupid prank he saw on YouTube when they were walking from his car to the school (Puckerman and Berry getting out of the same car in the morning? Scandal) when his first two fingers just kind of hooked around hers and it took her a second to realize it: they were holding hands. No, seriously, they were holding hands. Like it was the most normal, natural thing any two polar opposite people had ever done. He did it discreetly and tucked their hands in the space between them as they walked through the front doors, then started calling his friends names and using more profanity than she felt comfortable with as they passed through the halls. Suddenly, she was so acutely aware of everything going on around her and inside her. Was this what it felt like to really love someone? She thought it must, because it was so different than her Finn butterflies and it made complete sense why people could only truly express this feeling through song.
After turning the corner, they stopped at her locker so she could switch her things. As she scrolled through her combination, he was leaning against the locker next to hers, his eyes scanning the halls when she heard Finn call out.
"Yo Puck, can I talk to you for a sec? Alone?”
Finn was looking over at Rachel nervously as she pretended not to pay attention to what was going on behind her.
“Hell no, man. I don’t know if you remember, but last time we ‘talked,’ there was less talking and more beating the shit out of each other. And to be honest, dude, I’m not in the mood today.”
“Seriously, forget about last time, this is important. And I just don’t think…” Finn gestured to Rachel not so subtlety with his head as she turned around and faced him. “…This needs to be shared, you get me?”
“Dude, whatever you have to say, just say it,” Puck placed his hand on the base of Rachel’s back and Finn’s eyes immediately shot from the gesture to both of their faces. He was genuinely confused-didn’t Rachel and Puck end things a long time ago?
“Wait, you two are-?”
“Yeah, we kind of are, I guess.” Rachel looked up at Puck, then back over at Finn. “Noah told me everything that happened, but don’t worry, I’d never tell a soul.”
Finn clenched his jaw and furrowed his brow and she couldn’t tell if this was his angry/jealous face or his confused/hurt face, but either way, it made that little part of her that still clung to the idea of making Finn fall madly in love with her a little bit happy. It took a second for him to take it in and shake his head.
“Okay, whatever. Puck, I just wanted to say I’m sorry, dude. I’m really sorry.”
“Whatever man, bruises heal.”
“What? No, I’m not apologizing for that. You totally deserved what I gave you.” He looked around for a second then leaned in and whispered, “you got my girlfriend pregnant, dude.” With that, Puck’s characteristic scowl immediately returned. “You’re lucky I didn’t do worse.”
He kind of had a point.
“I’m sorry about what Quinn decided to do. I still think everything you did was really fucked up, but doing that behind your back? It must’ve really sucked.”
Rachel took Puck’s hand in hers and squeezed it softly. But not without Finn clenching his jaw slightly in recognition.
“Yeah, it did.” Puck paused for a second, then looked up at Finn. “Dude, I’m sorry she left. I know how much she meant to you.”
Now Rachel was holding Puck’s hand between both of hers, and Finn just looked up at the ceiling.
“Whatever, that’s life I guess. But I don’t know, maybe this means we can start things over again. Try to move past it, you know?”
“That’d be cool, man.”
“And you know, maybe the baby thing ended up being for the best in the end. I mean, it’s not like you could ever be a dad anyway.”
“Excuse me?”
“Come on, Puck, I’m just saying we both know you could never deal with something like that. You’ve never had a real girlfriend in your life and you blow all your money on beer and weed.”
“Are you saying I would’ve made a shitty dad?” He let go of Rachel’s hand and got up in Finn’s face.
“I’m just saying maybe it was for the best, man.” He raised his shoulders so he was towering over Puck. “And yeah, you kind of would make a shitty dad.” With that Rachel rushed between them, begging them to stop, but it was too late. Puck threw the first punch, and it all went downhill from there. A crowd gathered around them and as usual, Mr. Shue was the one to break it up.
“You guys seriously need to get your act together, okay?” Puck didn’t wait to hear the rest of Mr. Shue’s lecture, looking once at Rachel before pushing his way through the crowd and down the hall. When Rachel turned back to Finn, she shook her head and laughed sarcastically.
“You know, I told Noah he could trust you. That you’d understand and if you were really his friend, you’d know he wasn’t what people made him out to be. But apparently I was really wrong about you, Finn Hudson.”
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When Rachel arrived at Glee, the room grew silent. Everyone knew what had happened that morning; the rumor mill at McKinley was second to none. Word in the halls was that Puck and Rachel were together and Finn couldn’t stand it: nowhere near the truth. She sat in the front, saving a seat for Puck, who of course, never showed. She did her best to avoid eye contact with everyone, but especially Finn-she wasn’t up for the fight.
Which was why she was really surprised when Finn stopped her on his way out and told her she was right.
Sure, he and Puck never had any heartfelt conversations about their feelings and shit, but if anyone at that school had any glimmer of an idea about who Noah Puckerman really was, it was Finn. He did still think Puck would make a pretty shitty dad, but he wouldn’t make a much better one. It was just easier to hate him for being the dude that knocked Quinn up than remember why they were friends to begin with.
The funny thing was, he really did want to fix things with Puck. When he came up to him that morning it was because he had talked to Quinn for nearly two hours on the phone the night before, and she was actually honest with him. She told him that she did love him, but it was one night early on when he joined Glee and she saw the way he looked at Rachel…And Puck was just there. She was drunk and Puck was there. He didn’t want to at first, but she pushed and they were just both so drunk…She knew it was a mistake the second it happened and she wanted nothing to do with him afterward. She told him she didn’t lie to be deceitful, she lied because she chose Finn. Puck may have gotten her pregnant, but she wanted Finn to be the father.
They even talked about her decision to get rid of the baby, which wasn't really her decision at all. Her parents made her do it. She still wanted to have the baby and screw Puck, who cares, she’d leave him and raise it alone if she had to, because she knew she’d get Finn back someday. Her parents didn’t agree though.
But there was just something about seeing Rachel with Puck like that - holding his hand in hers and the way he let her stay - something about it just hit the wrong chord. He didn’t mean to be such a douche. Because at the end of the day it was just Puck and him left, and hating each other for the rest of high school wasn't particularly appealing to Finn. Plus, he missed Quinn, and it would be nice to have his best friend back to talk about it with.
“I don’t know, maybe it would be cool to have my best friend back, y’know? Even if it's just to play videogames and get drunk.”
“Finn, I couldn't agree more.”
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Rachel made her way into the gym just as the third quarter was starting. She climbed up the bleachers and found a spot in the back, her eyes immediately scanning for number 20. He was laughing (probably taunting the other team, she was sure) and turned to give Finn a high five. The whistle blew and a player on the side passed the ball in to Puck, he faked a move towards the basket then slyly passed it to Finn for the lay up. They pounded chests and ran down the court, and his eyes met hers. He gave her a little head nod and she grinned.
Not only did they win their game that night, but Rachel totally let him touch her boobs. All in all, a pretty fuckin’ good day if you asked Puck.
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author’s note: I can’t believe this is almost over! SO SAD. Its been so much fun to write, for real. Keep your eyes out for an epilogue, I’ll try to post one in the next couple days before Thanksgiving! And if you have any ideas or prompts for fic for me to write in the future, by all means send them my way. I can already forsee me needing a support group and lots of fic to satisfy my Rachel/Puck itch until we get something in the show! As always, thanks so much for all your enthusiasm.