Little Wonders (Part Two)
Title: Little Wonders (Part Two)
Author:
signalfire
Pairing: Dean/Castiel
Rating: NC-17
Words: 5,812 (14,808)
Spoilers: None as long as you've tuned in from season 4.
Warnings: Sex, swearing, mpreg,
Summary: Dean isn't ready to be a dad. He never thought he was going to be; there's always a world to take care of. Always something in the way of his dreams of a normal life. But Cas is offering him that one thing he has always wanted, and offering it in the most unconventional way possible. Somehow that makes it more reassuring.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Part One
“Castiel.”
Cas is alone in Bobby's study, reading through one of the old books Bobby had been translating for days now and making a heck of a lot more progress. One hand notes down the translation as he goes, and the other rests on his bump. At three and a half months, Dean can barely fit it in the palms of his hands. Not that he's measuring every day (he is), but both of them know they're counting down the days until the egg arrives. They're half way there.
But Castiel hears his name in a familiar, though long-estranged, voice, and he lifts his head to look at the uninvited guest.
“Anna,” he greets coolly. “This is a surprise.”
“Castiel,” she says his name again, her eyes narrowed as she looks him up and down. “What are you doing?”
“I'm translating some scripts. They're quite old. Hopefully it'll help us stave off the apocalypse,” he eyes her up and down, noting the way she looks at him, gauging whether or not it's okay for him to say that. Not that he cares what side she's on. “I don't suppose you're here to help?”
Anna frowns, crossing her arms over her chest. “You know that isn't what I'm talking about, Castiel.”
He puts down his pen with the anticipation that he might have to use both hands for something. For defending himself and his daughter.
“Well, I don't suppose it would kill you to elaborate?” he snaps because she's making no move to reveal her intentions, and he really doesn't have the time for this. He stands, pulling the cardigan he borrowed from Sam tightly around him as though the thin, knitted layer would add some protection to his belly.
“This…” she gestures towards him, but he knows she means the baby. “What are you doing? You can't give birth to a half-human. It's...it's against everything we were taught. It's against our Father's interests.”
“What?” Castiel asks, raising his eyebrows. “You don't know that.”
“The nephilim, Castiel,” Anna says softly, as though she's breaking some terrible news to her brother. “You remember them, don't you?” Her tone is patronizing, and Castiel's skin prickles.
“It's not the same. It's not the same,” he says, because he knows it's not. The Nephilim were a horrible mistake; they were never the product of love, but the product of lust and sin. “Dean and I-”
“You took advantage of the bond our Father provided.”
“Bullshit,” Cas spits. “We love each other. She is a product of that.”
Anna shakes her head, as though she's humouring him. As though she's just been playing along with his whims. “Cas, you're too attached already.”
“She's my daughter.” His hands rest over his belly, another barrier between his child and Anna. “You will not convince me otherwise.”
“I'm here to advise you, Castiel,” Anna whispers, a darkness beginning to burn in her eyes. “Do not go ahead with this. Do not have this child.” She takes a step forward, and Castiel, in turn, steps back. “I can help you.”
“You can go to Hell,” Cas growls.
“How do you suppose you're going to give birth?” Anna asks, and Cas is sure she's been watching them, that this isn't just a spontaneous visit. She thinks she knows how to play him.
“Something will work out.”
“If you're relying on our Father, you may want to reconsider.” Anna looks prematurely pleased with herself. “I don't think He'll turn up just so you can push your bastard half breed out,” she says venomously. “if He won't turn up to help us with the war.”
Cas bristles again. “How dare you-”
“How dare I?” Anna laughs, but it's a cruel laugh. “I'm doing this for you, Cas.”
“Don't. Don't call me Cas, and don't offer me your help. I will do this.”
“You're walking down a dangerous road, Castiel. Dean Winchester only knows how to destroy and kill. And whatever you're growing in there is going to go on his list.”
“Get out,” Cas growls through clenched teeth. “Get out. I don't want to see you again. Ever.”
“I'll see you soon. You'll call for me.”
“Get out!” Cas grabs a book from the table and hurls it at his sister, but she has already gone.
--------
Dean is drumming his fingers on the table as he listens to his brother read the article on his laptop. There have been a few incidents in short succession, all in the same town, and all pointing towards something bad.
“We're going to have to investigate this, Dean,” Sam says hesitantly, as though approaching a highly strung animal. “It could be something to do with the apocalypse. If we send any other hunter out there, they're not going to have a clue; they don't know half the stuff that we do. If it's something big…”
Dean sighs, rolling his shoulders and then rubbing the bridge of his nose. “I don't know, Sam.”
“Dean,” Sam lowers his voice, even though they're the only two there, “I know you don't want to risk it, but believe me, we've walked out of worse than this completely unscathed.”
“Yeah, but luck is never, ever on our side. This time one of us could die from a rusty nail or something,” Dean sighs, refusing to meet Sam's eyes, “because we have so much more to lose than we did before.”
Sam looks up to the ceiling as though physically pulling his thoughts together. “I'll go on my own, then.”
“No. No, Sam. I can't let you do that,” Dean says. He's torn because this is his brother, and he can't let his brother go off on his own to fight something end-of-the-worldy, but at the same time, he doesn't want to risk anything that might mean Cas is a single parent. It's a terrible decision to have to make. And Cas? Well, Cas has been acting strange the last two weeks. Not necessarily around Dean but when he thinks Dean isn't looking.
“Cas still has two months to go, and I don't want to leave him here,” Dean says. “He'll have to come with us.”
“Dean,” Sam protests immediately. It's not his child, but he'll be damned before he lets anything happen to Cas or his niece. “No. He'll be okay here.”
“I just don't think-” Dean starts, but stops when Cas appears in the doorway. And Dean can't hide anything from Cas.
“What's wrong?” he asks, his eyes travelling from Dean to Sam to the laptop and then back to Dean. “Is it Lucifer?”
“Maybe,” Dean replies, picking at a growing hole in his jeans.
“Where?” Cas asks, as though Dean had been more affirmative.
“Seattle,” Sam says when Dean doesn't venture an answer. “It's only a few states over.”
“I know,” Cas nods. “You don't want me to come with you?” He's looking at Dean as he speaks, clearly directing the question to him.
“Of course I do,” Dean says with so much conviction that Cas has no choice but to believe him. “Cas, the last thing I want to do is go anywhere without you. I want to have you where I can see you all the time.” The two of them share a tiny smile.
“But it's dangerous.”
“I'm not going to do anything stupid, Dean,” Cas rolls his eyes, moving across the room towards Dean, unable to stop his
tiny smile from growing as Dean's hands automatically lift towards his belly. “I'm going with you.”
Dean shakes his head, but he knows he isn't going to be able to provide a sufficient argument to make Cas stay here. Dean doesn’t want him to, but he really doesn't want to take him either. Of course there was going to be some kind of catch in their awesome life. “I don't...”
“Dean, come on,” Cas says, running his fingers through Dean's hair, an intimate gesture Cas usually reserves for when they're alone. In front of Sam, Dean feels a little swell of pride. Cas is the best.
“Okay. But I'm not happy about it. I hope you know that,” Dean says. Their daughter seems perfectly happy, regardless of everything that's going on around them. He can feel her quiet contentment.
Surprisingly, Bobby puts up quite a fight about Dean taking Cas out on a case with him.
“You think it's wise? You're going to be looking over your shoulder constantly, boy. Your mind is going to be in two different places.”
Dean understands, and it's a good argument; he'll be worried about Cas even if they leave him in the motel room. And Cas has been acting so strangely recently. Dean’s swayed for a minute or two, thinking about leaving Cas in Bobby's more than capable hands, but Cas objects immediately, and the look on his face makes Dean regret even reconsidering.
“Don't you want me there?” he asks, frowning with more anger in his expression than hurt. “Don't you want me to come with you?”
“Of course I do,” Dean replies immediately. “I'm just thinking about you. Where you'll both be safe.”
“If you don't want me to come with you, I'll stay here,” Cas says, crossing his arms over his chest and huffing.
“Cas, I want you to come along,” Dean says. “I do! Dammit, go and sit in the car now.”
“Don't shout at me,” Cas grumbles, shuffling out to the car where Sam is packing up their bags.
Cas opts to sit in the back seat even though Sam has offered up the front passenger seat numerous times. He sits behind Dean, staring out of the window and not speaking. This puts Dean in a foul mood for the duration of the long drive, especially since he can't see Cas properly.
“What's wrong with you?” he asks after what feels like hours of stiff silence. “Cas? Hey. What did I do?”
“Dean,” Sam attempts to interject, because he doesn't want to be part of this, and he can't sneak out of a car that's going seventy miles an hour on a freeway. “Not now.”
“No, no. Now. We're all pissed that we have to do this, Cas, but you had the choice to stay behind, and you wanted to come.”
Cas looks up and meet's Dean's eyes in the rearview mirror.
“I thought you didn't want me out of your sight. I thought you were worried.”
“Yeah, well, I can't see you right now, and I'm doing just fine.”
“Dean!” Sam gasps. This isn't going to end well.
“Pull over,” Cas snaps. “I'm getting out. I'm going home.”
“How?” Dean barks. “Hitchhiking? I don't think so. Not in your condition.”
“I'm making a baby, Dean. I'm not dying. I'm not incapable.”
“You don't know what kind of people there are around here. Good people don't pick up hitchhikers. Murderers and rapists pick up hitchhikers.”
“Dean,” Sam sighs.
“Pull over!” Cas demands again.
“I'm in the middle of the freaking freeway, Cas. I can't just pull over. Jesus Christ.”
Ten minutes later, Sam manages to skulk off to 'get supplies' from the service station they pull in to, leaving his brother and the pregnant angel to fight it out in the parking lot.
“What the hell has gotten into you recently?” Dean demands, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “You're acting like such a...I don't even know. If it's hormones you'd tell me, right? You know I'd be cool with that, and I'd take care of you.”
Cas snorts derisively. “I don't need you to take care of me.”
“What the hell, Cas, come on,” Dean all but pleads. “What did I do wrong?”
Cas just glares.
“Cas.” Dean takes a deep breath, moving on from rubbing his nose to rubbing his whole face. “Please. Please, Cas. I just want to make you happy. I just want to take care of you and our little girl, but I'm just a guy. I'm just a man, Cas. I don't know all the right things to say and do unless you tell me. And if I make you sad, you have to tell me so.”
Cas frowns at him.
“Cas,” Dean reaches out his hands, and Cas assumes he'll be reaching for his belly, the way he always does. But he doesn't. Dean takes Cas' hands in his own, cups them tenderly and holds them close to his chest as he gazes imploringly into Cas' eyes. “Please. Tell me so I can make it better.”
Cas looks away. He can't lie, but at the same time Anna's words have been playing on his mind over and over again, painfully wearing him down. He's naïve to assume he can get through this without any consequence. Angels and men had bred before, and the result wasn't unanimously approved of. But this is Dean. The man he pulled from Hell. Anna had to be wrong.
“Dean,” he starts, dragging his eyes back up to look into Dean's beautiful, pained face. “Anna came to see me.”
“Anna?” Dean asks. As much as he loves Cas, and as much as he is growing to accept that their baby will probably have to be half celestial, it doesn't mean he's on board with Cas' family. The rest of them are still jerks. “What did she want?”
“She came to warn me. She came to tell me that our child was an abomination and something you will want to hunt and kill.” Cas' voice shakes with emotion he hasn't yet had a place to vent. It's building up rapidly inside him now.
Dean looks blank as though there are too many feelings to process at once. “What?”
“She told me- she said we shouldn't go ahead with it.”
“What did you say?” Dean asks, his heart racing though he feels as though the blood is draining from him.
“I threw a book at her and told her I never wanted to see her again,” Cas whispers, his eyes brimming over with unshed tears. His lip wobbles and Dean, despite the situation, can't help but marvel at how wonderful this man is.
He pulls Cas into his arms, and much to Cas' bemusement, he thinks he can feel Dean laughing. He doesn't think there's anything funny about this.
“Dean?”
“Cas. I'm so totally in love with you,” Dean replies, squeezing Cas as tightly as he dares before he pulls back. “You're brilliant. You threw a book at her?”
“Do you understand the severity of her warning, Dean?” Cas asks, unimpressed with Dean's reaction.
“Of course I do, Cas. I know what she was getting at, but I don't give a crap what she said because God gave us a baby. And as much as I hate the dude for what he's done to you and yours and for this stupid game of hide 'n' seek during the damn apocalypse, he's brought you back to me before, and Cas, I'm no doctor, but you're a boy. And you're pregnant. That isn't a thing that nature just messes up sometimes,” Dean beams.
Cas tips his head, processing Dean's words slowly and thoroughly.
“God wants us to do this, Cas,” Dean continues gently, knowing his words are getting through. “Anna doesn't know. She doesn't know what we have. She knows jack shit about us. And I would never, ever do anything to hurt you or our baby. I love you more and more every day I wake up beside you. And our kid is awesome. She's going to be awesome. And I will never, ever let anything happen to either of you, do you understand that?”
Cas lets a little smile creep over his lips for the first time in such a long while. “I love you, Dean.”
“I know you do,” Dean Smiles, “just...don't think this is coincidence. You had my heart when you gripped my arm and pulled me from Hell. Or whatever it was you said when we met.”
“Gripped you tight and raised you from perdition.”
“That's the one,” Dean grins. “I promise, Cas. Please, never doubt that. I'm never letting you go. You or her, no matter what.”
Sam gives the two of them a good half an hour as he browses the things in the convenience store, and when he returns, he finds them curled in the back seat of the Impala getting a little too friendly for his liking.
“Uh, guys, I'm glad you've made up and everything, and I don't mind driving, but if I have to hear you both making out, I'm going to Seattle on my own.”
“Hey Sam, did you bring snacks?”
“Did you hear me, Dean? No funny business.”
“Cas is hungry. And I'm having sympathy cravings.”
Sam tosses a bag at the two of them and climbs into the driver’s seat, setting off back on the road to Seattle.
--------
The job turns out to be a lot easier than any of them anticipated. And, as an unexpected bonus, the creature screams and begs for forgiveness just before they gank it, spilling a whole juicy handful of secrets about the devil. Sam notes them down to be investigated as Dean cuts the things head off and burns the body. Easy. All the while, Cas hovers around in the background, rummaging through the gross things the creature has collected to try and find anything of use. Dean has allowed him that much, if only because he wants to know where Cas is at all times.
The three of them are somewhat elated to be returning back to Sioux Falls, which has to be a first. But Sam is confident that they've gotten something good from the post-death blabbing, and Dean is relieved that they're all going home alive. Cas is laying on the backseat with a book balanced on his belly, and the journey home is nowhere near as tense as the outward one had been.
None of them want to mention it, but Bobby seems to be relieved to see them. He hugs them all gruffly and tells them he's ordered in for dinner. Which is his way of saying he loves them, idgits or not.
--------
“Have any of you seen my grey shirt?” Bobby asks one morning, looking incredibly put out. He's addressing Dean and Sam, since Cas, at five months pregnant, is spending more and more time hiding away in their bedroom.
“I dunno, Bobby. I'm missing two of mine, though. Did they all go in the same wash?” Sam asks, looking up from his laptop which is, as always, whirring away on some case notes.
“I don't know. I don't get a chance to do any washing with you two treating me like an invalid,” Bobby grumbles, looking at Dean, who has taken to doing most of the washing recently, using some crazy eco-friendly sensitive washing powder.
Dean looks up from the baby book he's reading, shaking his head. “I don't know. I remember putting them out to dry and bringing them back in again. Maybe they're just...y'know...maybe they just got misplaced?”
“Where?” Bobby asks.
“I'll ask Cas,” Dean says gently. “He keeps cleaning things up; he's probably just accidentally put it somewhere else.”
Truthfully, Cas has been doing a lot of cleaning recently, much to Dean's displeasure. More than once he's walked into the kitchen to find Cas half in the oven, cleaning it out, or pulling out the fridge and cleaning that out. Or mopping the floor. Or cleaning the bathroom.
There are things about it in Dean's baby book, and it's apparently normal for the pregnant parent to start nesting, cleaning things habitually, becoming picky and a little bit obsessive compulsive over things in the house. And Cas is doing all of those things.
After listening to Bobby complain for another quarter of an hour, as though he has no other shirts, Dean heads upstairs to his room to question his irritable, pregnant boyfriend. Even though Cas has said he wanted to be alone.
“Cas?” Dean knocks and hears the grunt of a reply from within the room. The room that, when he had vacated this morning after getting dressed, had been completely immaculate, to the point that Dean thinks Cas will start changing their bedclothes every day if he gets the chance. Still, he's received the little grunt of response, and he pushes the door open.
He peers in and sees Cas curled up in the bed, all of the duvet over him. Dean makes a mental note to go and pick up one of the spare covers later so that Cas doesn't have to share.
“Hey, Cas,” he starts forwards, making his way around to Cas' side of the bed. The scruff of Cas' dark hair pokes out from the duvet, and Dean can see his eyes peering out at him. “Sorry to bother you. I was just wondering if you'd seen some of Sam and Bobby's shirts when you were cleaning up.”
Cas looks up at him, crinkling his nose.
“I don't-” Dean starts, but then Cas looks slightly shifty. “Cas?”
“I'll give them back,” Cas mutters. “Soon.”
“What?” Dean asks, keeping his voice soft and blameless. “Do you know where they are?” He sees the shift that tells him Cas does. “Come on, Cas?”
“I just want to keep them. Just for a little while.”
Dean sits himself on the edge of the bed and pulls the covers back from Cas' face. He sees a scrap of blue plaid that resembles Sam's shirt poking out beside Cas' ear.
“Are you sleeping on them?” Dean asks, twisting a few strands of Cas' hair around his finger. “Did you ste- borrow them to sleep on?”
Cas pauses and then shrugs. “I wanted something to remind me of all of you. Something our egg can lay in that'll remind her of her uncle and grandpa.”
Dean grins, running his fingers gently through Cas' hair. “You know Sam and Bobby would have just handed them over. They think the underwear gnomes have been into their wardrobes.”
“Underwear gnomes?” Cas frowns. “I don't think there is any such thing.”
Dean chuckles and leans in to press a kiss to Cas' forehead. “I was joking. They did think there was something odd going on, though. But if you're using them for comfort…”
“Nesting,” Cas smiles softly. “I'm...I'm nesting.”
“And you're making an awesome job of it. You're right; she's going to love it.”
“You're being so nice,” Cas smiles, rolling on to his back and pushing the covers away from his body. His belly is huge now. Dean's hands still migrate to it automatically, running over the shape of their child and feeling the tingles of her presence inside Cas.
“Well, why wouldn't I be?” Dean asks. The t-shirt Cas is wearing now is a little too tight. It doesn't cover all of his bump, but Dean really doesn't care.
“I'm fat. I'm fat and full of baby, and I'm neurotic, and I keep stealing your family's clothes.”
Dean grins. Bobby’s and Sam's shirts are underneath Cas, crinkled from where Dean can only assume Cas has been clinging to them.
“First, they're our family. Secondly, you're not fat; you're making a baby, so hush,” Dean replies. Cas frowns at him, but Dean is rubbing his belly, and Cas can't feel too bad when he's being loved so much. “She'll be here soon enough. And when we don't sleep or have time for sex, you'll wish you were full of baby again.”
Cas hums in response. “At least when she's in here, I’ll know she's safe. I’ll know what she needs and how to look after her.”
“Well, I guess we'll have to learn to speak baby.”
“Babies only gurgle,” Cas says, “but she should still be able to tell us what she wants. The way she does now.”
Dean nods his head, secretly thrilled at being able to one-up other parents and know what his kid might want when she's crying, rather than playing the elimination game. “I can't wait to meet her.”
“Soon,” Cas sighs. “Soon. I'm still...I'm still scared, Dean. I don't know how...” He breaks off. He doesn't need to tell Dean how he feels. He brings it up every so often. Dean knows. Dean is scared too, though he pushes it to the back of his mind because worrying about it will just take over his life. He doesn't want to lose Cas. He doesn't want to lose Cas more than he doesn't want to lose their baby, and though he hasn't said it, if it came down to it, he would save Cas every time.
--------
Dean knows something is wrong when he comes in from the scrap yard into the eerily quiet house.
Sam is helping Bobby with the accounts, and Dean had only gone outside for a few minutes to take them both a drink and check up on the state of one of the old cars he'd thought of turning over earlier that morning. When he'd gone out ten minutes prior, the house had been warm from the sunlight coming in through the windows, warming the old wood. It had been quiet but for the ticking of the several clocks Bobby keeps around his house. Cas had waddled downstairs earlier for something to eat, bored of being cooped up in his nest, though he'd headed back up the stairs not long after, wanting a shower.
Now the house feels oddly cold. The silence is too thick; the clocks seem to clunk instead of tick. Something has happened.
On instinct Dean sprints up the stairs three at a time.
“Cas? Cas? CAS?” he bursts into their bedroom, completely out of breath. Which doesn't matter because as soon as he opens the door, his lungs deflate, and his heart stops.
Cas is curled up on the floor in the fetal position, clutching his belly. And bleeding. There is blood all over the covers and the carpet. And Cas isn't moving. He's pale and still.
Dean drops to his knees beside him, gripping his arm tightly. “Cas? Cas, come on, wake up. Come on.”
Cas' eyes open. They're dull, barely focusing. “Dean.”
“Tell me what to do, Cas. What do you need?”
“She's coming, Dean. It hurts so much.” He shudders, biting down on his lip.
Dean flips open his phone, calling Sam and Bobby in the yard and demanding they get up here now, and to bring something, anything, to help Cas.
“It's okay, Cas. We're all here. Just...just breathe, okay? Like Sam showed us on that video, you remember?” Dean mimics the breathing and panting they'd watched on a Lamaze demonstration, and Cas bravely attempts to copy.
“We need to get you out of these pants. And you should sit up. Or squat. Or get on all fours.” He's read the books on birthing, so he’s pretty sure one of them must work. “Okay? I'll help you with your pants. Then we'll get you into a better position.”
“I think I'm dying, Dean,” Cas whispers.
“You're not dying, Cas. Shut up. Breathe.”
Cas sobs softly but does as he's told while Dean removes the bloodied pants and underwear, throwing them aside and looking down between Cas' legs. He doesn't know how this is going to work. He isn't sure where all of the blood is coming from, either, but they'll get through it.
Sam and Bobby appear in the doorway, and Bobby blanches immediately. “I'll...towels. And ice. I'll get ice,” he stammers, backing away and disappearing again, leaving Sam, Dean, Cas and, imminently, their baby.
“She's coming,” Dean whispers. “Sam, she's coming.”
Dean doesn't understand where Sam learns the things he knows. The man is a mobile how-to guide. He joins Dean, kneeling at Cas' side, checking Cas' pulse and smiling with a firm reassurance.
“You're gonna be okay, Cas. Don't worry about a thing. This'll be the hardest part. And you have us all here.”
Cas nods his head, willing to believe anything Sam tells him. His hands grasp Dean's, and his attention remains on his partner. In turn, Dean doesn't take his eyes from Cas. Without saying a thing, he and Sam have determined their roles, Dean looks after Cas, and Sam looks after their egg.
Out of the corner of his eyes, Dean can see Sam carefully touching Cas as though he's been delivering angel babies his whole life. Cas' breathing hitches, and he hears Sam make a humming noise.
“I can see the top of the egg,” he says, just as Bobby returns with the towels and ice.
“I'll...go and find some more things,” he says weakly and leaves again. Dean can't see what Sam can see, but he saw the look on Bobby's face.
Then Cas is gripping his hand tighter, and Dean can hear his teeth grinding together as he tries not to make a sound. Dean can't even imagine the pain. “Cas. Cas it's okay. It's okay.”
The look he receives is one that would have withered him if Cas still had his powers.
“Next time it won't be so bad,” Sam says in a way that is supposed to be reassuring.
“Next time?” Cas manages to exclaim. “There will not be a next time. This is it. This is it, Dean. You so much as look at me amorously and I will smite you.”
“Okay, Cas,” Dean agrees, stroking Cas' matted hair back from his face as another contraction builds up.
Sam passes the ice for Cas to chew on and arranges the towels to provide some padding should the egg get bored of its slow journey into the world.
Cas bites down on the ice and cries out in pain.
“Breathe, Cas.”
“You breathe,” Cas snaps, though he tries to adjust his breathing to the pace they had seen on the film. Slow and even and then short pants through the contractions.
Dean doesn't take his eyes from Cas' face, his beautiful face streaked with sweat and tears. Dean leans down to kiss him, and Cas whimpers softly.
He can hardly believe this is happening. That Cas is going through all of this, all of this pain to bring their baby into the world, something they've made out of love that Cas has carried. Because he loves Dean.
“I love you,” Dean whispers, and Cas forces a smile.
“Good,” he whispers, and Dean can see the pain written all over his expression.
“I can touch her, Cas, you're doing great,” Sam says, his composure still perfectly maintained. “Two more big pushes and we'll have her.”
Dean wants to reply that it’s easy for him to say, he's not delivering a watermelon - but for Cas' sake he doesn't.
Cas is pushing, and Dean finds himself stunned that it is all pretty much how it was on the films they've seen, complete with his hand being squeezed in Cas' in a vice-like grip. He'll need the ice for the bruising after.
“One more, Cas, come on,” Sam instructs calmly, but Cas shakes his head.
“Too tired,” he whimpers. “Please. Stop-”
“No can do, Cas,” Sam replies, placing his hand against the small of Cas' back and rubbing in what he hopes is a soothing fashion.
“Change position,” Dean says suddenly, because Cas being curled up on the floor isn't helping.
Again, Cas shakes his head, too tired and in too much pain to do anything for himself.
Dean rolls him gently over onto his hands and knees and then lifts him just as gently into a kneeling position so that gravity is working with them. Cas sobs and clutches at Dean, twisting his fingers in Dean's shirt, burying his face against Dean’s neck as he lets out another agonised groan.
“Push, Cas,” Dean hears Sam say, but he can't see his brother over his armful of angel.
Cas' grip on Dean increases, but he does as he's instructed, and Dean can feel and hear the strain in his lover's body.
And then Cas goes limp. Dean nearly drops him, not expecting so sudden a change, but he keeps Cas up until Sam's big, grinning face comes into view, followed by a bundle of towels.
“You did it, Cas,” Dean whispers, allowing Cas' tired body to sink down to the floor until he's resting with his head in Dean's lap, his eyes closed, though his ragged breathing says he's still awake.
Sam shuffles around with his armful, pulling back the towels to reveal the shell of the most beautiful egg Dean has ever seen.
In his mind, he had imagined a standard egg, maybe a little bit glowy because Cas had said they were born in the stars. But his daughter is glorious. The shell has a pearly sheen to it and is almost pink in colour, melting into a peachy-yellow and a very soft green when it hits the light. She's also fortunately smaller than he had imagined, more squash sized than watermelon, but he's not denying that it’s still a big thing to push out of your body.
“Cas?” Dean touches Cas' hair gently. “Look, she's here.”
Cas' eyes crack open, and he peers at the egg, nodding with some satisfaction. “Keep her warm,” he murmurs before his eyes close properly, and he's nothing but a dead weight in Dean's lap.
Now that the egg is here, Bobby is on hand to help, and he sets about changing the sheets and covers on the bed, whilst Dean gently cleans Cas up and finds the softest, loosest clothes he can to dress him in before lifting him up onto the bed and tucking him in.
Sam has collected up the several shirts Cas borrowed from himself and Bobby, and he wraps the newest family member up in them, leaving the top of the egg uncovered, convinced she needs room to breathe and hear. When Dean sees her, he's sure his brother is moments away from using a Sharpie pen to draw in a face, and he takes his daughter from Sam's arms, feeling her weight and warmth. She feels a little distressed, but Dean can only imagine it's been a stressful time for her too.
He settles on the bed beside Cas, drawing his knees up so that he can rest the egg on his legs.
He doesn't notice Sam or Bobby leave. He doesn't notice time slipping by as he gazes at the miracle he can now hold in his arms.
It isn't until Cas shifts beside him, turning over with a groan and cuddling closer to Dean's side, that he realizes it's dark out. He moves one hand around to Cas, resting his fingers in his hair and lovingly massaging his head. The other supports their egg, which shines softly as the lights outside catch her shell.
Dean smiles, observing his odd little family, and for once he feels like the luckiest guy in the world.
Author:
signalfire
Pairing: Dean/Castiel
Rating: NC-17
Words: 5,812 (14,808)
Spoilers: None as long as you've tuned in from season 4.
Warnings: Sex, swearing, mpreg,
Summary: Dean isn't ready to be a dad. He never thought he was going to be; there's always a world to take care of. Always something in the way of his dreams of a normal life. But Cas is offering him that one thing he has always wanted, and offering it in the most unconventional way possible. Somehow that makes it more reassuring.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Part One
“Castiel.”
Cas is alone in Bobby's study, reading through one of the old books Bobby had been translating for days now and making a heck of a lot more progress. One hand notes down the translation as he goes, and the other rests on his bump. At three and a half months, Dean can barely fit it in the palms of his hands. Not that he's measuring every day (he is), but both of them know they're counting down the days until the egg arrives. They're half way there.
But Castiel hears his name in a familiar, though long-estranged, voice, and he lifts his head to look at the uninvited guest.
“Anna,” he greets coolly. “This is a surprise.”
“Castiel,” she says his name again, her eyes narrowed as she looks him up and down. “What are you doing?”
“I'm translating some scripts. They're quite old. Hopefully it'll help us stave off the apocalypse,” he eyes her up and down, noting the way she looks at him, gauging whether or not it's okay for him to say that. Not that he cares what side she's on. “I don't suppose you're here to help?”
Anna frowns, crossing her arms over her chest. “You know that isn't what I'm talking about, Castiel.”
He puts down his pen with the anticipation that he might have to use both hands for something. For defending himself and his daughter.
“Well, I don't suppose it would kill you to elaborate?” he snaps because she's making no move to reveal her intentions, and he really doesn't have the time for this. He stands, pulling the cardigan he borrowed from Sam tightly around him as though the thin, knitted layer would add some protection to his belly.
“This…” she gestures towards him, but he knows she means the baby. “What are you doing? You can't give birth to a half-human. It's...it's against everything we were taught. It's against our Father's interests.”
“What?” Castiel asks, raising his eyebrows. “You don't know that.”
“The nephilim, Castiel,” Anna says softly, as though she's breaking some terrible news to her brother. “You remember them, don't you?” Her tone is patronizing, and Castiel's skin prickles.
“It's not the same. It's not the same,” he says, because he knows it's not. The Nephilim were a horrible mistake; they were never the product of love, but the product of lust and sin. “Dean and I-”
“You took advantage of the bond our Father provided.”
“Bullshit,” Cas spits. “We love each other. She is a product of that.”
Anna shakes her head, as though she's humouring him. As though she's just been playing along with his whims. “Cas, you're too attached already.”
“She's my daughter.” His hands rest over his belly, another barrier between his child and Anna. “You will not convince me otherwise.”
“I'm here to advise you, Castiel,” Anna whispers, a darkness beginning to burn in her eyes. “Do not go ahead with this. Do not have this child.” She takes a step forward, and Castiel, in turn, steps back. “I can help you.”
“You can go to Hell,” Cas growls.
“How do you suppose you're going to give birth?” Anna asks, and Cas is sure she's been watching them, that this isn't just a spontaneous visit. She thinks she knows how to play him.
“Something will work out.”
“If you're relying on our Father, you may want to reconsider.” Anna looks prematurely pleased with herself. “I don't think He'll turn up just so you can push your bastard half breed out,” she says venomously. “if He won't turn up to help us with the war.”
Cas bristles again. “How dare you-”
“How dare I?” Anna laughs, but it's a cruel laugh. “I'm doing this for you, Cas.”
“Don't. Don't call me Cas, and don't offer me your help. I will do this.”
“You're walking down a dangerous road, Castiel. Dean Winchester only knows how to destroy and kill. And whatever you're growing in there is going to go on his list.”
“Get out,” Cas growls through clenched teeth. “Get out. I don't want to see you again. Ever.”
“I'll see you soon. You'll call for me.”
“Get out!” Cas grabs a book from the table and hurls it at his sister, but she has already gone.
--------
Dean is drumming his fingers on the table as he listens to his brother read the article on his laptop. There have been a few incidents in short succession, all in the same town, and all pointing towards something bad.
“We're going to have to investigate this, Dean,” Sam says hesitantly, as though approaching a highly strung animal. “It could be something to do with the apocalypse. If we send any other hunter out there, they're not going to have a clue; they don't know half the stuff that we do. If it's something big…”
Dean sighs, rolling his shoulders and then rubbing the bridge of his nose. “I don't know, Sam.”
“Dean,” Sam lowers his voice, even though they're the only two there, “I know you don't want to risk it, but believe me, we've walked out of worse than this completely unscathed.”
“Yeah, but luck is never, ever on our side. This time one of us could die from a rusty nail or something,” Dean sighs, refusing to meet Sam's eyes, “because we have so much more to lose than we did before.”
Sam looks up to the ceiling as though physically pulling his thoughts together. “I'll go on my own, then.”
“No. No, Sam. I can't let you do that,” Dean says. He's torn because this is his brother, and he can't let his brother go off on his own to fight something end-of-the-worldy, but at the same time, he doesn't want to risk anything that might mean Cas is a single parent. It's a terrible decision to have to make. And Cas? Well, Cas has been acting strange the last two weeks. Not necessarily around Dean but when he thinks Dean isn't looking.
“Cas still has two months to go, and I don't want to leave him here,” Dean says. “He'll have to come with us.”
“Dean,” Sam protests immediately. It's not his child, but he'll be damned before he lets anything happen to Cas or his niece. “No. He'll be okay here.”
“I just don't think-” Dean starts, but stops when Cas appears in the doorway. And Dean can't hide anything from Cas.
“What's wrong?” he asks, his eyes travelling from Dean to Sam to the laptop and then back to Dean. “Is it Lucifer?”
“Maybe,” Dean replies, picking at a growing hole in his jeans.
“Where?” Cas asks, as though Dean had been more affirmative.
“Seattle,” Sam says when Dean doesn't venture an answer. “It's only a few states over.”
“I know,” Cas nods. “You don't want me to come with you?” He's looking at Dean as he speaks, clearly directing the question to him.
“Of course I do,” Dean says with so much conviction that Cas has no choice but to believe him. “Cas, the last thing I want to do is go anywhere without you. I want to have you where I can see you all the time.” The two of them share a tiny smile.
“But it's dangerous.”
“I'm not going to do anything stupid, Dean,” Cas rolls his eyes, moving across the room towards Dean, unable to stop his
tiny smile from growing as Dean's hands automatically lift towards his belly. “I'm going with you.”
Dean shakes his head, but he knows he isn't going to be able to provide a sufficient argument to make Cas stay here. Dean doesn’t want him to, but he really doesn't want to take him either. Of course there was going to be some kind of catch in their awesome life. “I don't...”
“Dean, come on,” Cas says, running his fingers through Dean's hair, an intimate gesture Cas usually reserves for when they're alone. In front of Sam, Dean feels a little swell of pride. Cas is the best.
“Okay. But I'm not happy about it. I hope you know that,” Dean says. Their daughter seems perfectly happy, regardless of everything that's going on around them. He can feel her quiet contentment.
Surprisingly, Bobby puts up quite a fight about Dean taking Cas out on a case with him.
“You think it's wise? You're going to be looking over your shoulder constantly, boy. Your mind is going to be in two different places.”
Dean understands, and it's a good argument; he'll be worried about Cas even if they leave him in the motel room. And Cas has been acting so strangely recently. Dean’s swayed for a minute or two, thinking about leaving Cas in Bobby's more than capable hands, but Cas objects immediately, and the look on his face makes Dean regret even reconsidering.
“Don't you want me there?” he asks, frowning with more anger in his expression than hurt. “Don't you want me to come with you?”
“Of course I do,” Dean replies immediately. “I'm just thinking about you. Where you'll both be safe.”
“If you don't want me to come with you, I'll stay here,” Cas says, crossing his arms over his chest and huffing.
“Cas, I want you to come along,” Dean says. “I do! Dammit, go and sit in the car now.”
“Don't shout at me,” Cas grumbles, shuffling out to the car where Sam is packing up their bags.
Cas opts to sit in the back seat even though Sam has offered up the front passenger seat numerous times. He sits behind Dean, staring out of the window and not speaking. This puts Dean in a foul mood for the duration of the long drive, especially since he can't see Cas properly.
“What's wrong with you?” he asks after what feels like hours of stiff silence. “Cas? Hey. What did I do?”
“Dean,” Sam attempts to interject, because he doesn't want to be part of this, and he can't sneak out of a car that's going seventy miles an hour on a freeway. “Not now.”
“No, no. Now. We're all pissed that we have to do this, Cas, but you had the choice to stay behind, and you wanted to come.”
Cas looks up and meet's Dean's eyes in the rearview mirror.
“I thought you didn't want me out of your sight. I thought you were worried.”
“Yeah, well, I can't see you right now, and I'm doing just fine.”
“Dean!” Sam gasps. This isn't going to end well.
“Pull over,” Cas snaps. “I'm getting out. I'm going home.”
“How?” Dean barks. “Hitchhiking? I don't think so. Not in your condition.”
“I'm making a baby, Dean. I'm not dying. I'm not incapable.”
“You don't know what kind of people there are around here. Good people don't pick up hitchhikers. Murderers and rapists pick up hitchhikers.”
“Dean,” Sam sighs.
“Pull over!” Cas demands again.
“I'm in the middle of the freaking freeway, Cas. I can't just pull over. Jesus Christ.”
Ten minutes later, Sam manages to skulk off to 'get supplies' from the service station they pull in to, leaving his brother and the pregnant angel to fight it out in the parking lot.
“What the hell has gotten into you recently?” Dean demands, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “You're acting like such a...I don't even know. If it's hormones you'd tell me, right? You know I'd be cool with that, and I'd take care of you.”
Cas snorts derisively. “I don't need you to take care of me.”
“What the hell, Cas, come on,” Dean all but pleads. “What did I do wrong?”
Cas just glares.
“Cas.” Dean takes a deep breath, moving on from rubbing his nose to rubbing his whole face. “Please. Please, Cas. I just want to make you happy. I just want to take care of you and our little girl, but I'm just a guy. I'm just a man, Cas. I don't know all the right things to say and do unless you tell me. And if I make you sad, you have to tell me so.”
Cas frowns at him.
“Cas,” Dean reaches out his hands, and Cas assumes he'll be reaching for his belly, the way he always does. But he doesn't. Dean takes Cas' hands in his own, cups them tenderly and holds them close to his chest as he gazes imploringly into Cas' eyes. “Please. Tell me so I can make it better.”
Cas looks away. He can't lie, but at the same time Anna's words have been playing on his mind over and over again, painfully wearing him down. He's naïve to assume he can get through this without any consequence. Angels and men had bred before, and the result wasn't unanimously approved of. But this is Dean. The man he pulled from Hell. Anna had to be wrong.
“Dean,” he starts, dragging his eyes back up to look into Dean's beautiful, pained face. “Anna came to see me.”
“Anna?” Dean asks. As much as he loves Cas, and as much as he is growing to accept that their baby will probably have to be half celestial, it doesn't mean he's on board with Cas' family. The rest of them are still jerks. “What did she want?”
“She came to warn me. She came to tell me that our child was an abomination and something you will want to hunt and kill.” Cas' voice shakes with emotion he hasn't yet had a place to vent. It's building up rapidly inside him now.
Dean looks blank as though there are too many feelings to process at once. “What?”
“She told me- she said we shouldn't go ahead with it.”
“What did you say?” Dean asks, his heart racing though he feels as though the blood is draining from him.
“I threw a book at her and told her I never wanted to see her again,” Cas whispers, his eyes brimming over with unshed tears. His lip wobbles and Dean, despite the situation, can't help but marvel at how wonderful this man is.
He pulls Cas into his arms, and much to Cas' bemusement, he thinks he can feel Dean laughing. He doesn't think there's anything funny about this.
“Dean?”
“Cas. I'm so totally in love with you,” Dean replies, squeezing Cas as tightly as he dares before he pulls back. “You're brilliant. You threw a book at her?”
“Do you understand the severity of her warning, Dean?” Cas asks, unimpressed with Dean's reaction.
“Of course I do, Cas. I know what she was getting at, but I don't give a crap what she said because God gave us a baby. And as much as I hate the dude for what he's done to you and yours and for this stupid game of hide 'n' seek during the damn apocalypse, he's brought you back to me before, and Cas, I'm no doctor, but you're a boy. And you're pregnant. That isn't a thing that nature just messes up sometimes,” Dean beams.
Cas tips his head, processing Dean's words slowly and thoroughly.
“God wants us to do this, Cas,” Dean continues gently, knowing his words are getting through. “Anna doesn't know. She doesn't know what we have. She knows jack shit about us. And I would never, ever do anything to hurt you or our baby. I love you more and more every day I wake up beside you. And our kid is awesome. She's going to be awesome. And I will never, ever let anything happen to either of you, do you understand that?”
Cas lets a little smile creep over his lips for the first time in such a long while. “I love you, Dean.”
“I know you do,” Dean Smiles, “just...don't think this is coincidence. You had my heart when you gripped my arm and pulled me from Hell. Or whatever it was you said when we met.”
“Gripped you tight and raised you from perdition.”
“That's the one,” Dean grins. “I promise, Cas. Please, never doubt that. I'm never letting you go. You or her, no matter what.”
Sam gives the two of them a good half an hour as he browses the things in the convenience store, and when he returns, he finds them curled in the back seat of the Impala getting a little too friendly for his liking.
“Uh, guys, I'm glad you've made up and everything, and I don't mind driving, but if I have to hear you both making out, I'm going to Seattle on my own.”
“Hey Sam, did you bring snacks?”
“Did you hear me, Dean? No funny business.”
“Cas is hungry. And I'm having sympathy cravings.”
Sam tosses a bag at the two of them and climbs into the driver’s seat, setting off back on the road to Seattle.
--------
The job turns out to be a lot easier than any of them anticipated. And, as an unexpected bonus, the creature screams and begs for forgiveness just before they gank it, spilling a whole juicy handful of secrets about the devil. Sam notes them down to be investigated as Dean cuts the things head off and burns the body. Easy. All the while, Cas hovers around in the background, rummaging through the gross things the creature has collected to try and find anything of use. Dean has allowed him that much, if only because he wants to know where Cas is at all times.
The three of them are somewhat elated to be returning back to Sioux Falls, which has to be a first. But Sam is confident that they've gotten something good from the post-death blabbing, and Dean is relieved that they're all going home alive. Cas is laying on the backseat with a book balanced on his belly, and the journey home is nowhere near as tense as the outward one had been.
None of them want to mention it, but Bobby seems to be relieved to see them. He hugs them all gruffly and tells them he's ordered in for dinner. Which is his way of saying he loves them, idgits or not.
--------
“Have any of you seen my grey shirt?” Bobby asks one morning, looking incredibly put out. He's addressing Dean and Sam, since Cas, at five months pregnant, is spending more and more time hiding away in their bedroom.
“I dunno, Bobby. I'm missing two of mine, though. Did they all go in the same wash?” Sam asks, looking up from his laptop which is, as always, whirring away on some case notes.
“I don't know. I don't get a chance to do any washing with you two treating me like an invalid,” Bobby grumbles, looking at Dean, who has taken to doing most of the washing recently, using some crazy eco-friendly sensitive washing powder.
Dean looks up from the baby book he's reading, shaking his head. “I don't know. I remember putting them out to dry and bringing them back in again. Maybe they're just...y'know...maybe they just got misplaced?”
“Where?” Bobby asks.
“I'll ask Cas,” Dean says gently. “He keeps cleaning things up; he's probably just accidentally put it somewhere else.”
Truthfully, Cas has been doing a lot of cleaning recently, much to Dean's displeasure. More than once he's walked into the kitchen to find Cas half in the oven, cleaning it out, or pulling out the fridge and cleaning that out. Or mopping the floor. Or cleaning the bathroom.
There are things about it in Dean's baby book, and it's apparently normal for the pregnant parent to start nesting, cleaning things habitually, becoming picky and a little bit obsessive compulsive over things in the house. And Cas is doing all of those things.
After listening to Bobby complain for another quarter of an hour, as though he has no other shirts, Dean heads upstairs to his room to question his irritable, pregnant boyfriend. Even though Cas has said he wanted to be alone.
“Cas?” Dean knocks and hears the grunt of a reply from within the room. The room that, when he had vacated this morning after getting dressed, had been completely immaculate, to the point that Dean thinks Cas will start changing their bedclothes every day if he gets the chance. Still, he's received the little grunt of response, and he pushes the door open.
He peers in and sees Cas curled up in the bed, all of the duvet over him. Dean makes a mental note to go and pick up one of the spare covers later so that Cas doesn't have to share.
“Hey, Cas,” he starts forwards, making his way around to Cas' side of the bed. The scruff of Cas' dark hair pokes out from the duvet, and Dean can see his eyes peering out at him. “Sorry to bother you. I was just wondering if you'd seen some of Sam and Bobby's shirts when you were cleaning up.”
Cas looks up at him, crinkling his nose.
“I don't-” Dean starts, but then Cas looks slightly shifty. “Cas?”
“I'll give them back,” Cas mutters. “Soon.”
“What?” Dean asks, keeping his voice soft and blameless. “Do you know where they are?” He sees the shift that tells him Cas does. “Come on, Cas?”
“I just want to keep them. Just for a little while.”
Dean sits himself on the edge of the bed and pulls the covers back from Cas' face. He sees a scrap of blue plaid that resembles Sam's shirt poking out beside Cas' ear.
“Are you sleeping on them?” Dean asks, twisting a few strands of Cas' hair around his finger. “Did you ste- borrow them to sleep on?”
Cas pauses and then shrugs. “I wanted something to remind me of all of you. Something our egg can lay in that'll remind her of her uncle and grandpa.”
Dean grins, running his fingers gently through Cas' hair. “You know Sam and Bobby would have just handed them over. They think the underwear gnomes have been into their wardrobes.”
“Underwear gnomes?” Cas frowns. “I don't think there is any such thing.”
Dean chuckles and leans in to press a kiss to Cas' forehead. “I was joking. They did think there was something odd going on, though. But if you're using them for comfort…”
“Nesting,” Cas smiles softly. “I'm...I'm nesting.”
“And you're making an awesome job of it. You're right; she's going to love it.”
“You're being so nice,” Cas smiles, rolling on to his back and pushing the covers away from his body. His belly is huge now. Dean's hands still migrate to it automatically, running over the shape of their child and feeling the tingles of her presence inside Cas.
“Well, why wouldn't I be?” Dean asks. The t-shirt Cas is wearing now is a little too tight. It doesn't cover all of his bump, but Dean really doesn't care.
“I'm fat. I'm fat and full of baby, and I'm neurotic, and I keep stealing your family's clothes.”
Dean grins. Bobby’s and Sam's shirts are underneath Cas, crinkled from where Dean can only assume Cas has been clinging to them.
“First, they're our family. Secondly, you're not fat; you're making a baby, so hush,” Dean replies. Cas frowns at him, but Dean is rubbing his belly, and Cas can't feel too bad when he's being loved so much. “She'll be here soon enough. And when we don't sleep or have time for sex, you'll wish you were full of baby again.”
Cas hums in response. “At least when she's in here, I’ll know she's safe. I’ll know what she needs and how to look after her.”
“Well, I guess we'll have to learn to speak baby.”
“Babies only gurgle,” Cas says, “but she should still be able to tell us what she wants. The way she does now.”
Dean nods his head, secretly thrilled at being able to one-up other parents and know what his kid might want when she's crying, rather than playing the elimination game. “I can't wait to meet her.”
“Soon,” Cas sighs. “Soon. I'm still...I'm still scared, Dean. I don't know how...” He breaks off. He doesn't need to tell Dean how he feels. He brings it up every so often. Dean knows. Dean is scared too, though he pushes it to the back of his mind because worrying about it will just take over his life. He doesn't want to lose Cas. He doesn't want to lose Cas more than he doesn't want to lose their baby, and though he hasn't said it, if it came down to it, he would save Cas every time.
--------
Dean knows something is wrong when he comes in from the scrap yard into the eerily quiet house.
Sam is helping Bobby with the accounts, and Dean had only gone outside for a few minutes to take them both a drink and check up on the state of one of the old cars he'd thought of turning over earlier that morning. When he'd gone out ten minutes prior, the house had been warm from the sunlight coming in through the windows, warming the old wood. It had been quiet but for the ticking of the several clocks Bobby keeps around his house. Cas had waddled downstairs earlier for something to eat, bored of being cooped up in his nest, though he'd headed back up the stairs not long after, wanting a shower.
Now the house feels oddly cold. The silence is too thick; the clocks seem to clunk instead of tick. Something has happened.
On instinct Dean sprints up the stairs three at a time.
“Cas? Cas? CAS?” he bursts into their bedroom, completely out of breath. Which doesn't matter because as soon as he opens the door, his lungs deflate, and his heart stops.
Cas is curled up on the floor in the fetal position, clutching his belly. And bleeding. There is blood all over the covers and the carpet. And Cas isn't moving. He's pale and still.
Dean drops to his knees beside him, gripping his arm tightly. “Cas? Cas, come on, wake up. Come on.”
Cas' eyes open. They're dull, barely focusing. “Dean.”
“Tell me what to do, Cas. What do you need?”
“She's coming, Dean. It hurts so much.” He shudders, biting down on his lip.
Dean flips open his phone, calling Sam and Bobby in the yard and demanding they get up here now, and to bring something, anything, to help Cas.
“It's okay, Cas. We're all here. Just...just breathe, okay? Like Sam showed us on that video, you remember?” Dean mimics the breathing and panting they'd watched on a Lamaze demonstration, and Cas bravely attempts to copy.
“We need to get you out of these pants. And you should sit up. Or squat. Or get on all fours.” He's read the books on birthing, so he’s pretty sure one of them must work. “Okay? I'll help you with your pants. Then we'll get you into a better position.”
“I think I'm dying, Dean,” Cas whispers.
“You're not dying, Cas. Shut up. Breathe.”
Cas sobs softly but does as he's told while Dean removes the bloodied pants and underwear, throwing them aside and looking down between Cas' legs. He doesn't know how this is going to work. He isn't sure where all of the blood is coming from, either, but they'll get through it.
Sam and Bobby appear in the doorway, and Bobby blanches immediately. “I'll...towels. And ice. I'll get ice,” he stammers, backing away and disappearing again, leaving Sam, Dean, Cas and, imminently, their baby.
“She's coming,” Dean whispers. “Sam, she's coming.”
Dean doesn't understand where Sam learns the things he knows. The man is a mobile how-to guide. He joins Dean, kneeling at Cas' side, checking Cas' pulse and smiling with a firm reassurance.
“You're gonna be okay, Cas. Don't worry about a thing. This'll be the hardest part. And you have us all here.”
Cas nods his head, willing to believe anything Sam tells him. His hands grasp Dean's, and his attention remains on his partner. In turn, Dean doesn't take his eyes from Cas. Without saying a thing, he and Sam have determined their roles, Dean looks after Cas, and Sam looks after their egg.
Out of the corner of his eyes, Dean can see Sam carefully touching Cas as though he's been delivering angel babies his whole life. Cas' breathing hitches, and he hears Sam make a humming noise.
“I can see the top of the egg,” he says, just as Bobby returns with the towels and ice.
“I'll...go and find some more things,” he says weakly and leaves again. Dean can't see what Sam can see, but he saw the look on Bobby's face.
Then Cas is gripping his hand tighter, and Dean can hear his teeth grinding together as he tries not to make a sound. Dean can't even imagine the pain. “Cas. Cas it's okay. It's okay.”
The look he receives is one that would have withered him if Cas still had his powers.
“Next time it won't be so bad,” Sam says in a way that is supposed to be reassuring.
“Next time?” Cas manages to exclaim. “There will not be a next time. This is it. This is it, Dean. You so much as look at me amorously and I will smite you.”
“Okay, Cas,” Dean agrees, stroking Cas' matted hair back from his face as another contraction builds up.
Sam passes the ice for Cas to chew on and arranges the towels to provide some padding should the egg get bored of its slow journey into the world.
Cas bites down on the ice and cries out in pain.
“Breathe, Cas.”
“You breathe,” Cas snaps, though he tries to adjust his breathing to the pace they had seen on the film. Slow and even and then short pants through the contractions.
Dean doesn't take his eyes from Cas' face, his beautiful face streaked with sweat and tears. Dean leans down to kiss him, and Cas whimpers softly.
He can hardly believe this is happening. That Cas is going through all of this, all of this pain to bring their baby into the world, something they've made out of love that Cas has carried. Because he loves Dean.
“I love you,” Dean whispers, and Cas forces a smile.
“Good,” he whispers, and Dean can see the pain written all over his expression.
“I can touch her, Cas, you're doing great,” Sam says, his composure still perfectly maintained. “Two more big pushes and we'll have her.”
Dean wants to reply that it’s easy for him to say, he's not delivering a watermelon - but for Cas' sake he doesn't.
Cas is pushing, and Dean finds himself stunned that it is all pretty much how it was on the films they've seen, complete with his hand being squeezed in Cas' in a vice-like grip. He'll need the ice for the bruising after.
“One more, Cas, come on,” Sam instructs calmly, but Cas shakes his head.
“Too tired,” he whimpers. “Please. Stop-”
“No can do, Cas,” Sam replies, placing his hand against the small of Cas' back and rubbing in what he hopes is a soothing fashion.
“Change position,” Dean says suddenly, because Cas being curled up on the floor isn't helping.
Again, Cas shakes his head, too tired and in too much pain to do anything for himself.
Dean rolls him gently over onto his hands and knees and then lifts him just as gently into a kneeling position so that gravity is working with them. Cas sobs and clutches at Dean, twisting his fingers in Dean's shirt, burying his face against Dean’s neck as he lets out another agonised groan.
“Push, Cas,” Dean hears Sam say, but he can't see his brother over his armful of angel.
Cas' grip on Dean increases, but he does as he's instructed, and Dean can feel and hear the strain in his lover's body.
And then Cas goes limp. Dean nearly drops him, not expecting so sudden a change, but he keeps Cas up until Sam's big, grinning face comes into view, followed by a bundle of towels.
“You did it, Cas,” Dean whispers, allowing Cas' tired body to sink down to the floor until he's resting with his head in Dean's lap, his eyes closed, though his ragged breathing says he's still awake.
Sam shuffles around with his armful, pulling back the towels to reveal the shell of the most beautiful egg Dean has ever seen.
In his mind, he had imagined a standard egg, maybe a little bit glowy because Cas had said they were born in the stars. But his daughter is glorious. The shell has a pearly sheen to it and is almost pink in colour, melting into a peachy-yellow and a very soft green when it hits the light. She's also fortunately smaller than he had imagined, more squash sized than watermelon, but he's not denying that it’s still a big thing to push out of your body.
“Cas?” Dean touches Cas' hair gently. “Look, she's here.”
Cas' eyes crack open, and he peers at the egg, nodding with some satisfaction. “Keep her warm,” he murmurs before his eyes close properly, and he's nothing but a dead weight in Dean's lap.
Now that the egg is here, Bobby is on hand to help, and he sets about changing the sheets and covers on the bed, whilst Dean gently cleans Cas up and finds the softest, loosest clothes he can to dress him in before lifting him up onto the bed and tucking him in.
Sam has collected up the several shirts Cas borrowed from himself and Bobby, and he wraps the newest family member up in them, leaving the top of the egg uncovered, convinced she needs room to breathe and hear. When Dean sees her, he's sure his brother is moments away from using a Sharpie pen to draw in a face, and he takes his daughter from Sam's arms, feeling her weight and warmth. She feels a little distressed, but Dean can only imagine it's been a stressful time for her too.
He settles on the bed beside Cas, drawing his knees up so that he can rest the egg on his legs.
He doesn't notice Sam or Bobby leave. He doesn't notice time slipping by as he gazes at the miracle he can now hold in his arms.
It isn't until Cas shifts beside him, turning over with a groan and cuddling closer to Dean's side, that he realizes it's dark out. He moves one hand around to Cas, resting his fingers in his hair and lovingly massaging his head. The other supports their egg, which shines softly as the lights outside catch her shell.
Dean smiles, observing his odd little family, and for once he feels like the luckiest guy in the world.