[D. Gray-man] Backwards Development
Title: Backwards Development
Fandom: D. Gray-man
Pairing: Kanda/Allen
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Kanda makes a mistake.
Backwards Development
Usually, if anyone had dared to ask, Kanda would have been happy to tell them that it was all the beansprout's fault.
Of course, nobody would have been able to get anything further out of him, such as the how and why it was all the beansprout's fault, since unlike certain idiots, Kanda knew what TPO meant and practiced it religiously. And the only occasion somebody would have gotten anything out of him beyond the fact that it was all the beansprout's fault, might - and he stresses that might - have been the end of the world, but as it was, the world was still in one piece.
The thing was, however, that this time, he couldn't blame it entirely on the beansprout, and that irritated him beyond reason.
Because the beansprout had offered, but Kanda had been the one who had said yes (and then damn and please and fuck), and maybe he should have also been the one to say something after... well, after. But for some reason, it had been hard to look Allen in the eye then, and Kanda had never been reluctant to meet anybody's gaze before, and that had unsettled him, so he had gone to take a shower to think.
He refused to think of that as cowardice. Cowardice was what the beansprout had done, expecting Kanda to have all the answers at the ready, and then disappearing when he didn't. And it was Allen's fault for coming to him in the first place, when what he had really wanted was a philosopher or a fucking saint.
It just made him even angrier that the beansprout had been making himself scarce this past week, effectively bereaving him of the chance to vent.
"You know," Lavi said tentatively at dinner on Tuesday of the second week, "I think what's on your plate is quite dead."
Kanda lifted his head to direct his best murderous expression at him instead, hoping that Lavi would get the hint.
"I think your face is gonna get stuck like that if you keep it up."
Kanda might have been concentrating a little too hard on glaring a hole into Lavi's head, because he missed his next few words.
"...and Allen's floating around like a ghost, and I wanna know what's up!"
Something told Kanda the strange ugly sensation might have been guilt, but that just made him all the angrier.
"Why don't you just ask him, instead of wasting my time?"
"Do you think I haven't tried?" Lavi said, shrugging helplessly. "Come on, Yuu. You're both starting to scare me. Can't you just... talk about it like two civilized people?"
And for some reason, that was the straw that broke the camel's back. The table rocked as Kanda pushed back, fully aware that he was making a scene, but just too livid to care. Because it wasn't like he hadn't tried; it was all the beansprout's fault for disappearing whenever he entered a room, never hiding out in his usual spots.
"Well, if he wants to see me, face to face, I'm more than happy to get this over with!"
He knew there would be talk in his wake, but as he swept out of the mess hall, he just didn't care.
Kanda would have been quite content to leave the discussion at that, but Lavi obviously had other ideas. Just before lights-out, there was a knock on his door.
Kanda stopped toweling his hair dry and stalked to the door, fully intent on chasing Lavi away at swordpoint-
But it wasn't Lavi.
"Uh," Allen said intelligently, blinking back at him. And after a moment, more quietly, "Lavi said you wanted to... talk?"
He had that same look about him that he'd had more than a week ago, fidgety and needy, like he wanted... Kanda wasn't sure what he wanted. He looked like he had been losing a lot of sleep over something.
"Uh..."
Kanda furrowed his brows. "Not in the hallway, idiot."
"Yeah, uh... maybe not," Allen agreed, glancing around. "Maybe if you... well?"
With a sigh, Kanda made room for him to step inside.
----
- Fin -
<< Return to D.Gray-man Index | Return to Fanfiction Index >>
Fandom: D. Gray-man
Pairing: Kanda/Allen
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Kanda makes a mistake.
Backwards Development
Usually, if anyone had dared to ask, Kanda would have been happy to tell them that it was all the beansprout's fault.
Of course, nobody would have been able to get anything further out of him, such as the how and why it was all the beansprout's fault, since unlike certain idiots, Kanda knew what TPO meant and practiced it religiously. And the only occasion somebody would have gotten anything out of him beyond the fact that it was all the beansprout's fault, might - and he stresses that might - have been the end of the world, but as it was, the world was still in one piece.
The thing was, however, that this time, he couldn't blame it entirely on the beansprout, and that irritated him beyond reason.
Because the beansprout had offered, but Kanda had been the one who had said yes (and then damn and please and fuck), and maybe he should have also been the one to say something after... well, after. But for some reason, it had been hard to look Allen in the eye then, and Kanda had never been reluctant to meet anybody's gaze before, and that had unsettled him, so he had gone to take a shower to think.
He refused to think of that as cowardice. Cowardice was what the beansprout had done, expecting Kanda to have all the answers at the ready, and then disappearing when he didn't. And it was Allen's fault for coming to him in the first place, when what he had really wanted was a philosopher or a fucking saint.
It just made him even angrier that the beansprout had been making himself scarce this past week, effectively bereaving him of the chance to vent.
"You know," Lavi said tentatively at dinner on Tuesday of the second week, "I think what's on your plate is quite dead."
Kanda lifted his head to direct his best murderous expression at him instead, hoping that Lavi would get the hint.
"I think your face is gonna get stuck like that if you keep it up."
Kanda might have been concentrating a little too hard on glaring a hole into Lavi's head, because he missed his next few words.
"...and Allen's floating around like a ghost, and I wanna know what's up!"
Something told Kanda the strange ugly sensation might have been guilt, but that just made him all the angrier.
"Why don't you just ask him, instead of wasting my time?"
"Do you think I haven't tried?" Lavi said, shrugging helplessly. "Come on, Yuu. You're both starting to scare me. Can't you just... talk about it like two civilized people?"
And for some reason, that was the straw that broke the camel's back. The table rocked as Kanda pushed back, fully aware that he was making a scene, but just too livid to care. Because it wasn't like he hadn't tried; it was all the beansprout's fault for disappearing whenever he entered a room, never hiding out in his usual spots.
"Well, if he wants to see me, face to face, I'm more than happy to get this over with!"
He knew there would be talk in his wake, but as he swept out of the mess hall, he just didn't care.
Kanda would have been quite content to leave the discussion at that, but Lavi obviously had other ideas. Just before lights-out, there was a knock on his door.
Kanda stopped toweling his hair dry and stalked to the door, fully intent on chasing Lavi away at swordpoint-
But it wasn't Lavi.
"Uh," Allen said intelligently, blinking back at him. And after a moment, more quietly, "Lavi said you wanted to... talk?"
He had that same look about him that he'd had more than a week ago, fidgety and needy, like he wanted... Kanda wasn't sure what he wanted. He looked like he had been losing a lot of sleep over something.
"Uh..."
Kanda furrowed his brows. "Not in the hallway, idiot."
"Yeah, uh... maybe not," Allen agreed, glancing around. "Maybe if you... well?"
With a sigh, Kanda made room for him to step inside.
----
- Fin -
<< Return to D.Gray-man Index | Return to Fanfiction Index >>