Alright kids, so the plan is as follows ( Read more... )

at the request of my amazing girlfriend, i will be writing more later.

this weekend was, well... you'll just have to wait until i post it.

there are pictures to go along with the story, so uhm... "stand by"

since when does your balance go up when you withdraw money?

when it's the negative.

whoops.

also, best day ever.

But i'm 6'1"!!! this quiz is a farce!

Your results:
You are R2-D2
R2-D2
68%
Luke Skywalker
66%
Han Solo
66%
Princess Leia
64%
Jar Jar Binks
61%
Padme
59%
Lando Calrissian
59%
Obi-Wan Kenobi
57%
C-3PO
56%
Yoda
55%

What you lack in height
and communication skills,
you make up for in industriousness,
technical know-how and being there
( Read more... )

I got nothing
You got something
I feel out of place
Looking through your window
Into the delicate place
Reflections stating obvious mating holds
I'll own up to you if you own up to me
I'll picture for you if you picture for me.

dear lindsey lohan,

happy mother's day

sorry i got you preggers.

love,
kevin

Tom Waits - In the heart of Saturday Night ( Read more... )

there's a teenage dance party on my roof right now. i'm tempted to go up and watch but scared i'd either get in to it, or be the creepy old guy that watches teenages dancing.

either way, it's pretty fucking hilarious.

to life cafe i go

so i just walked into the store to rinse out my coffee cup and jeff goldblum is standing there with no shirt on.

seriously the funniest thing to walk into unexpectedly.

the uh tiny uh imperfections in your uh skin uh....

HI-CHEWS fruit chews, how i love you so. i can't stop eating them!