....the waters were calm, almost too calm for this time of year. It has been six months since the last attack by the dreaded pirate Peg-leg Pablo. Her Majesty's Royal Navy is responsible for transporting the most valuable goods in the British kingdom, Princess Bidgenheim of Longsley to the French shores. There she will meet her future husband, ( Read more... )

I was a fugitive for twenty four hours. Months ago, on the way back from a trip to Santa Cruz, i got a ticket for going far too fast on the 101 in one of those sad counties in between los angeles and the bay area with no redeeming qualities sans giving drivers the opportunity to speed. The officer said he'd mail us the fee and the procedure and ( Read more... )

If I had to make a compact disc comprised of songs that define my life at the moment, it would look very similar to the following. A lot of them aren't really new to me, but they're the kind of songs that substance dictates to be special. I think. I've had a really wonderful winter break and i've made the kind of connections that distance, time, ( Read more... )

Forget scrabble, i'm a monopoly player now.

Use every chance you’ve been given, I suppose. That’s a common resolution, more difficult practice. Things are just easier when you sit one out, but it’s easy to lament the fact afterwards. Maybe I just allow things to end up in this position so easily because the superficial images you percieve in chance encounters are easy to manipulate into ( Read more... )

Chapter One ( Read more... )

Today I used the word 'Zygote' while playing online scrabble.

( Read more... )

I'm usually the first to complain about the absurdity of elitism over the internet, but in some cases, it's called for. Our very way of life is being defecated upon. the sacred, hallowed refuge that is myspace is under seige. This is the sanctuary for the kids that liked pink before Ashton Kutcher said it was cool and weren't ashamed. When you see ( Read more... )

So I walk into this elevator at work and there's this executive standing there. For some strange reason, the elevator smells like both chicken and weed. This was the exchange ( Read more... )