Lies, Lies, Lies.....yeah.
So you've all had to listen to me whining over the last few weeks about not being comfortable writing in here because, among other reasons, I was worried what might be done with that information. Turns out I was right to be worried. WARNING:: The stuff behind this cut is some major venting. If you don't want to hear it, don't bother.
I discovered this week that email has been copied and forwarded to certain people as "evidence" of my wrongdoing in my marriage. I don't mean just evidence as in conversation, I mean evidence as in court case - divorce. When I confronted laurie about this she fed me a bunch of bullshit about not really wanting a confrontation, but needing to "protect herself", and then pointed out that if she really wanted to screw me she'd just have to lead her parents, and apparently her lawyers, to live journal. Funny thing about live journal though - a lot of it has been me writing about things SHE has done.
There certainly is plenty on both sides of this marriage ledger that has led to our separation, but during this time I have absolutely gone out of my way to say NOTHING negative about laurie to ANYone. I'm learning very clearly that the opposite has not been true. Aside from gathering "evidence" against me, she has been misrepresenting, if not outright lying, about me to her parents, to our neighbors, and to our friends. I guess it's my own fault. I let it happen because I've been keeping to myself, not wanting people in my business, and not wanting to tear her down by talking about what led to this separation.
That's obviously been a mistake. Her parents understandably hate my guts, but they also are encouraging her to fight me in court, which is a stupid position to take because they have NO CLUE what our lives have been like, what choices their daughter has made that would make HER look bad in court. They are apparently getting an earful about my choices though, leading them to think a court battle is a productive way to get laurie whatever it is that she wants out of this.
Lord knows what most of our friends and neighbors have been told. Only one of my neighbors will even speak to me, and a good many of our friends have stopped talking online or returning my calls.
GODDAMNIT!! I felt our marriage had run its course, that we would both be happier and healthier apart, and I made that decision....an agonizing, heart wrenching decision that has hurt laurie deeply. But as we've gone about that separation I have done so with nothing in my heart but continued love for her as a person, with support for her as a human being and the mother of my children as she tries to get healthy and make an adjustment to a different way of living. I have protected her and her reputation at EVERY fucking turn, revealing nothing about her that led me to this decision. And for it, behind my back, she's doing her best to hurt me. I suppose to get me back for hurting her.
And I guess that's fine. I'll still keep my mouth shut and take the blame. Perhaps in a few years, when she actually IS happier and healthier, she will see. Fuck it.
I discovered this week that email has been copied and forwarded to certain people as "evidence" of my wrongdoing in my marriage. I don't mean just evidence as in conversation, I mean evidence as in court case - divorce. When I confronted laurie about this she fed me a bunch of bullshit about not really wanting a confrontation, but needing to "protect herself", and then pointed out that if she really wanted to screw me she'd just have to lead her parents, and apparently her lawyers, to live journal. Funny thing about live journal though - a lot of it has been me writing about things SHE has done.
There certainly is plenty on both sides of this marriage ledger that has led to our separation, but during this time I have absolutely gone out of my way to say NOTHING negative about laurie to ANYone. I'm learning very clearly that the opposite has not been true. Aside from gathering "evidence" against me, she has been misrepresenting, if not outright lying, about me to her parents, to our neighbors, and to our friends. I guess it's my own fault. I let it happen because I've been keeping to myself, not wanting people in my business, and not wanting to tear her down by talking about what led to this separation.
That's obviously been a mistake. Her parents understandably hate my guts, but they also are encouraging her to fight me in court, which is a stupid position to take because they have NO CLUE what our lives have been like, what choices their daughter has made that would make HER look bad in court. They are apparently getting an earful about my choices though, leading them to think a court battle is a productive way to get laurie whatever it is that she wants out of this.
Lord knows what most of our friends and neighbors have been told. Only one of my neighbors will even speak to me, and a good many of our friends have stopped talking online or returning my calls.
GODDAMNIT!! I felt our marriage had run its course, that we would both be happier and healthier apart, and I made that decision....an agonizing, heart wrenching decision that has hurt laurie deeply. But as we've gone about that separation I have done so with nothing in my heart but continued love for her as a person, with support for her as a human being and the mother of my children as she tries to get healthy and make an adjustment to a different way of living. I have protected her and her reputation at EVERY fucking turn, revealing nothing about her that led me to this decision. And for it, behind my back, she's doing her best to hurt me. I suppose to get me back for hurting her.
And I guess that's fine. I'll still keep my mouth shut and take the blame. Perhaps in a few years, when she actually IS happier and healthier, she will see. Fuck it.