The days scatter like dropped leaves, red and golden, she watches whole weeks blow away across the pavements and into the sky. The cheap alcohol and rolling tobacco remain but plastic cups become real glasses and curtains cover the windows to keep the sunrise at bay ( Read more... )

4am. Static from the television & cigarette smoke curling through the silence to the ceiling. That bright tomorrow becomes a hazy today. Cheap vodka lines the bottom of plastic glasses and the windows are thrown wide to anticipate the sunrise.

& you,
you open your eyes in the darkness.
& there I am in breathless fragments,
threatening violence,
beautiful hatred, bitter love.

Oh! Darling, if you leave me, I'll never make it alone

it is over.
it's done.
gone.

i pick up the scattered bits of my heart along with crumpled clothing, all fearful eyes and ragged breath.

leave quickly, now, before people start to notice that you're hurting. before people begin to pick up on the pain and link it to him.

i will never learn to let go before it starts to hurt.

i have become one of those girls who waits, quietly. staring out of rain streaked windows at the horizon, cigarette in hand ( Read more... )

( Read more... )

I am turning into one of those girls who lies awake at night gasping for air. I turn my face to the ceiling because it is the closest I can get to the sky. In the morning I rise like the dull cliche that I am, dragging a heavy heart with me towards the sunset.

I don't know what this is but it's so intense that I can't quite catch my breath. It is as if there is a bubble within my ribcage, a bubble of empty space pushing down on my lungs so I can't breathe & I can't think & I can't even lift my head to look you in the eye.

& this is what you do to me.

& suddenly it's you.
& even though you are leaving
it's ok.