reBound
I feel SO much better the last two days. Palpable differences in my body, energy, brain, mindset. I think if I can crack the hormones code I might be able to level up my life , or at the very least stabilize it. I am also trying some new brain things. Really trying to negotiate with the parts that are not nice to me and when they choose to do so.
Like I was thinking a couple of days ago how, like clockwork, as soon as I stop working or school or doing chores I am overcome with guilt. No matter how much I did or how much rest I need. I feel terrible for not doing something deemed more productive.
Two things happened this week about this, actually.
1) I realized that this part of me would be much better suited to cheering me on when I do have the opportunity to do productive things, instead of waiting until I relax. This felt like an immediate shift inside (or maybe a culmination of all the parts work I’ve been talking about) - I spent some free time painting and did not feel guilty :)
2) Otis was telling me about how his coworker thinks of it like a Sims game & after working a long day, you know it’s time to refill the recreation bar. We’re not meant to work work work all the time. Resting is just as important. And yes, I knew this forever but for some reason thinking of my recreation time as filling up my recreation meter which is low after all the hard work I did during the day!
I am also trying so hard to be better about my diet and I THINK it’s working? It’s too soon to tell though. I’m feeling very stubborn about it tho. I never wanna feel like I did again. I know thats a long shot, but I start working with Rachel next month and I’m wholly committed to my best health. If I gotta keep living, I want to be so kind to my vessel. 💚
Attached is my artwork from this weekend 🐕🌅🐇🌃
