A New Dawn 22
Part: 22/?
Rating: 18+
Warnings: Mentions of previous torture and rape
Genre: Angst, AU
Characters: Jack Harkness, Ianto Jones, Owen, Tosh, Gwen
Summary: AU. The Torchwood team discover the truth about what happened on the Valiant and search for Jack. A dark fic.
Disclaimer: Not mine.
AN: I'm a bit nervous about this chapter.
Previous chapter here: http://ohinyan.livejournal.com/27393.html
Chapter 22
Jack was approaching the boardroom, a cup of coffee in hand, when he heard the team talking. He couldn't make out what they were saying, until he got close. The words he heard then froze him in his tracks; 'in the UNIT prison, he was effectively forced to prostitute himself in return for heroin'. His heart lurched, and he dropped the coffee. Panicked thoughts flashed through his mind. How could they know about that? He had never wanted anyone to know about his abject humiliation at the hands of the UNIT guards. And if they knew that, did they know he had betrayed Torchwood? Whirling around, he took off, heading at a run for his room.
* * * * *
Owen surmised what had happened, in seconds. “Get after him, Tosh,” he ordered, somewhat unnecessarily, as she was already heading for the door. What was necessary, however, was to restrain Ianto, who was also heading that way. “No, Ianto, not you,” Owen ordered.
Ianto struggled against him, “Why not? Jack needs me!”
“You know that Jack has issues with men, particularly when he's stressed,” Owen reminded him. “And he trusts Tosh more than the rest of us, even you. She's the best person for this.”
To his regret, Ianto knew that what Owen said was true. Jack was not at ease with him, and it was better that Tosh talk to him. He stopped struggling. Then he remembered what Gwen had just said. He turned on her, angrily. “What the hell did you mean, that Jack prostituted himself in prison?”
Gwen was looking stricken. “I'm so sorry, Ianto, I didn't mean to just blurt it out like that. I forgot that you didn't know. And I never meant for Jack to hear me. Peterson told us. When Jack had given them all the information they needed, the only way he could get heroin was by having sex with the guards.”
“They raped him?” questioned Ianto, in distress.
“Not exactly,” Gwen explained. “Apparently Jack begged them to do it, if they would give him heroin.”
“That's still rape,” Ianto replied angrily.
“If Jack didn't see it that way, it would not be wise to say that,” Owen advised. “Which do you think would be better, making a voluntary bargain, or being raped?”
Ianto slumped into a chair, his head in his hands. “I suppose that explains why he jumped me in his room, the other day, when he needed a hit.”
“I guess so,” agreed Owen. He looked at Gwen, pointedly. “I had intended to tell Jack that we knew what happened to him in the prison, but not like this,” he continued, slumping down next to Ianto. He called up the CCTV on his laptop. “We'd better make sure that Jack and Tosh are OK.” As he had guessed, Jack had fled back to his room. That was a good sign, Owen thought. At least it meant that Jack saw his room as a sanctuary, and not a prison. They hadn't locked him in since the withdrawal crisis, which helped.
Jack and Tosh had their backs to the camera, and were talking. Owen didn't bring up the sound. He wanted to give them some privacy. He kept the picture on though, to make sure that they were safe. “Gwen, clean up that mess,” he ordered, indicating the pool of coffee interspersed with mug fragments that lay just outside the door. “Ianto, keep an eye on them. Call me if there's any trouble. I'm going to contact that therapist.”
* * * *
Tosh ran down the corridor after Jack, and caught up with him just outside his room. “Jack, wait!” she cried.
Jack barely hesitated, and tried to get through the door into his room, so that he could keep her out.
Tosh barreled through, before he could shut it. Though he had no key, he was strong and could keep it shut by force. “Jack, please, I just want to talk.”
“Well, I don't want to talk,” he shouted. “I want to be left alone.”
“Whatever you just heard, Jack, you need to know that we are all on your side, and we just want to help you.”
“Are you going to arrest me?”
Tosh was gobsmacked. “Arrest you,” she echoed, “why would we do that?”
Jack was about to blurt out, 'For betraying Torchwood to UNIT,' but bit his tongue as he considered that, perhaps they didn't know that. He settled for just shaking his head in confusion, instead.
Tosh seemed to read his mind, though. “Jack, no one blames you for what happened in the prison. We know what happened, how they made you talk. And we know what you had to do to avoid withdrawal afterwards. I promise you that we will make sure that there will be no comeback on you, over anything that happened there.”
If anyone other than Tosh, had said that to him, Jack wouldn't have believed them. But Tosh was the person who protected him from UNIT with her silence, when she saw him in Cardiff. She alone, on the Valiant, had not taunted him unmercifully. After recent events he trusted the team with his physical well being, but he trusted Tosh on a deeper level. “Thank you,” he whispered.
Tosh moved towards him. “You have nothing to be ashamed of,” she declared. “None of us could have done better.”
That he couldn't believe. He knew that he had no pride left, after the life he had led for the last four years. “How can you say that?” Jack demanded. “I whored myself to the UNIT guards for heroin. I begged them to fuck me. And even when I escaped, I carried right on doing it. And it didn't start with UNIT. You've all seen me humiliated, and degrading myself to the Master, on the Valiant.”
Tosh's heart broke for him. That was so far from what the team thought of him. How could he not know? “You had no choice in that prison, or afterwards, Jack. And yes, we have seen the tapes of the Valiant. But we didn't see degradation, we saw nobility and love.” Tears in her eyes, Tosh reached out to touch his face. Her sincerity was obvious. Gathering her courage, she reached up and kissed him.
Jack was tentative, but he returned the kiss. It had been years since he had been touched with love. Tish was the last person who had not been using his body for their own ends. He broke off suddenly, and pushed Tosh away. “You don't love me.”
“How could I not love someone who has done so much, sacrificed so much, for me?” Tosh declared. “What other man, or woman, could compete with that?”
Jack turned away suddenly, “I don't want your pity,” he snapped.
Tosh pulled him back around to face her. “Jack, my feelings go way back before the Valiant. You saved me from UNIT, and treated me with respect. You never realised, but I would have been overjoyed if you had shown an interest in me back then.” She paused and added sadly, “but you didn't, and I accepted that. I buried my feelings. But, I would never forgive myself if I let this chance pass without telling you how I feel.” She released his arm then, and stepped away from him, giving him space. “I'll understand if you're not interested. Along with all that you've suffered, I know that you and Ianto have complicated, unresolved, issues. But whatever you decide, I want you to know that I do love you.”
Complicated was an understatement. Ianto had broken his heart, and despite the love that he had felt for him, it would be a long time before Jack could get over the sense of betrayal that coloured all their interactions.
The offer of love and tenderness overwhelmed Jack, and he stepped towards Tosh, caressing her face and wiping away the remnants of her tears. “Ianto and I are not together,” he told her, and bending, he kissed her gently on the lips. As she responded, he deepened the kiss.
Tosh pushed Jack's T-shirt off, and kissed her way along his pristine flesh. She marvelled that it was unmarred by scars, when she had seen the wounds he had suffered on the Valiant. Gently caressing him, she leaned forward to recapture his mouth.
Jack was feeling emotions that he had long thought lost to him, and desire for the first time since Tish. And even then, that had been induced by drugs. He resisted no longer and pulled Tosh over towards his bed.
* * * *
Unbeknown to Jack and Tosh, Ianto had been watching their encounter on the CCTV. His sadness was heartbreaking, but surprisingly he was not jealous. He could not begrudge Jack finding comfort with another. Sighing deeply, he reached over and switched the CCTV camera off.
* * * *
Tosh had never wanted a man as much as she wanted Jack. And it made his touch electric. She uttered soft cries as he touched and caressed her, and her tears flowed as she touched him in return. Tosh was so hyper sensitive that she came even before he entered her.
Jack also found himself crying. He clutched Tosh to him and held her tight, practically trying to climb inside her skin. As he entered her they kissed long and deep. Jack's body was plastered against hers, full length. It had been so long since Jack had been with anyone, where his pleasure was involved, that it did not take long for him to reach completion.
Holding her close to him Jack buried his face in her hair and sobbed.
* * * *
Jack woke a couple of hours later, to find Tosh sleeping, still snuggled against him. He smiled fondly down at her. Glancing up at the CCTV camera, he saw that the light on it was off. This meant that the camera was switched off, and no one was monitoring his actions. The others did not know it, but he had seen the code that Owen typed into the cog door, on their return to the Hub after the team had rescued him from UNIT. So it would be easy to leave again. But things had changed. The team had proven to him, by their actions, that they would protect him. They did care. And they were willing to let him take heroin, and work to reduce the dose on any timescale he wanted. Even if UNIT were not lurking outside the Hub, would striking out on his own be any better? In all honesty, the only reason to do that was if he couldn't cope with being with people who knew the intimate details of his traumatic and humiliating past. Tosh knew, and did not judge him harshly. Did his shame outweigh all the help that he could get by staying? It did not take long to come to a conclusion. Decision made, he lay back down, pulled the duvet further over them both, and held Tosh close.
AN2: Please note that nothing in this chapter alters my long term plan for Janto.
Next chapter here: http://ohinyan.livejournal.com/28223.html
Rating: 18+
Warnings: Mentions of previous torture and rape
Genre: Angst, AU
Characters: Jack Harkness, Ianto Jones, Owen, Tosh, Gwen
Summary: AU. The Torchwood team discover the truth about what happened on the Valiant and search for Jack. A dark fic.
Disclaimer: Not mine.
AN: I'm a bit nervous about this chapter.
Previous chapter here: http://ohinyan.livejournal.com/27393.html
Chapter 22
Jack was approaching the boardroom, a cup of coffee in hand, when he heard the team talking. He couldn't make out what they were saying, until he got close. The words he heard then froze him in his tracks; 'in the UNIT prison, he was effectively forced to prostitute himself in return for heroin'. His heart lurched, and he dropped the coffee. Panicked thoughts flashed through his mind. How could they know about that? He had never wanted anyone to know about his abject humiliation at the hands of the UNIT guards. And if they knew that, did they know he had betrayed Torchwood? Whirling around, he took off, heading at a run for his room.
* * * * *
Owen surmised what had happened, in seconds. “Get after him, Tosh,” he ordered, somewhat unnecessarily, as she was already heading for the door. What was necessary, however, was to restrain Ianto, who was also heading that way. “No, Ianto, not you,” Owen ordered.
Ianto struggled against him, “Why not? Jack needs me!”
“You know that Jack has issues with men, particularly when he's stressed,” Owen reminded him. “And he trusts Tosh more than the rest of us, even you. She's the best person for this.”
To his regret, Ianto knew that what Owen said was true. Jack was not at ease with him, and it was better that Tosh talk to him. He stopped struggling. Then he remembered what Gwen had just said. He turned on her, angrily. “What the hell did you mean, that Jack prostituted himself in prison?”
Gwen was looking stricken. “I'm so sorry, Ianto, I didn't mean to just blurt it out like that. I forgot that you didn't know. And I never meant for Jack to hear me. Peterson told us. When Jack had given them all the information they needed, the only way he could get heroin was by having sex with the guards.”
“They raped him?” questioned Ianto, in distress.
“Not exactly,” Gwen explained. “Apparently Jack begged them to do it, if they would give him heroin.”
“That's still rape,” Ianto replied angrily.
“If Jack didn't see it that way, it would not be wise to say that,” Owen advised. “Which do you think would be better, making a voluntary bargain, or being raped?”
Ianto slumped into a chair, his head in his hands. “I suppose that explains why he jumped me in his room, the other day, when he needed a hit.”
“I guess so,” agreed Owen. He looked at Gwen, pointedly. “I had intended to tell Jack that we knew what happened to him in the prison, but not like this,” he continued, slumping down next to Ianto. He called up the CCTV on his laptop. “We'd better make sure that Jack and Tosh are OK.” As he had guessed, Jack had fled back to his room. That was a good sign, Owen thought. At least it meant that Jack saw his room as a sanctuary, and not a prison. They hadn't locked him in since the withdrawal crisis, which helped.
Jack and Tosh had their backs to the camera, and were talking. Owen didn't bring up the sound. He wanted to give them some privacy. He kept the picture on though, to make sure that they were safe. “Gwen, clean up that mess,” he ordered, indicating the pool of coffee interspersed with mug fragments that lay just outside the door. “Ianto, keep an eye on them. Call me if there's any trouble. I'm going to contact that therapist.”
* * * *
Tosh ran down the corridor after Jack, and caught up with him just outside his room. “Jack, wait!” she cried.
Jack barely hesitated, and tried to get through the door into his room, so that he could keep her out.
Tosh barreled through, before he could shut it. Though he had no key, he was strong and could keep it shut by force. “Jack, please, I just want to talk.”
“Well, I don't want to talk,” he shouted. “I want to be left alone.”
“Whatever you just heard, Jack, you need to know that we are all on your side, and we just want to help you.”
“Are you going to arrest me?”
Tosh was gobsmacked. “Arrest you,” she echoed, “why would we do that?”
Jack was about to blurt out, 'For betraying Torchwood to UNIT,' but bit his tongue as he considered that, perhaps they didn't know that. He settled for just shaking his head in confusion, instead.
Tosh seemed to read his mind, though. “Jack, no one blames you for what happened in the prison. We know what happened, how they made you talk. And we know what you had to do to avoid withdrawal afterwards. I promise you that we will make sure that there will be no comeback on you, over anything that happened there.”
If anyone other than Tosh, had said that to him, Jack wouldn't have believed them. But Tosh was the person who protected him from UNIT with her silence, when she saw him in Cardiff. She alone, on the Valiant, had not taunted him unmercifully. After recent events he trusted the team with his physical well being, but he trusted Tosh on a deeper level. “Thank you,” he whispered.
Tosh moved towards him. “You have nothing to be ashamed of,” she declared. “None of us could have done better.”
That he couldn't believe. He knew that he had no pride left, after the life he had led for the last four years. “How can you say that?” Jack demanded. “I whored myself to the UNIT guards for heroin. I begged them to fuck me. And even when I escaped, I carried right on doing it. And it didn't start with UNIT. You've all seen me humiliated, and degrading myself to the Master, on the Valiant.”
Tosh's heart broke for him. That was so far from what the team thought of him. How could he not know? “You had no choice in that prison, or afterwards, Jack. And yes, we have seen the tapes of the Valiant. But we didn't see degradation, we saw nobility and love.” Tears in her eyes, Tosh reached out to touch his face. Her sincerity was obvious. Gathering her courage, she reached up and kissed him.
Jack was tentative, but he returned the kiss. It had been years since he had been touched with love. Tish was the last person who had not been using his body for their own ends. He broke off suddenly, and pushed Tosh away. “You don't love me.”
“How could I not love someone who has done so much, sacrificed so much, for me?” Tosh declared. “What other man, or woman, could compete with that?”
Jack turned away suddenly, “I don't want your pity,” he snapped.
Tosh pulled him back around to face her. “Jack, my feelings go way back before the Valiant. You saved me from UNIT, and treated me with respect. You never realised, but I would have been overjoyed if you had shown an interest in me back then.” She paused and added sadly, “but you didn't, and I accepted that. I buried my feelings. But, I would never forgive myself if I let this chance pass without telling you how I feel.” She released his arm then, and stepped away from him, giving him space. “I'll understand if you're not interested. Along with all that you've suffered, I know that you and Ianto have complicated, unresolved, issues. But whatever you decide, I want you to know that I do love you.”
Complicated was an understatement. Ianto had broken his heart, and despite the love that he had felt for him, it would be a long time before Jack could get over the sense of betrayal that coloured all their interactions.
The offer of love and tenderness overwhelmed Jack, and he stepped towards Tosh, caressing her face and wiping away the remnants of her tears. “Ianto and I are not together,” he told her, and bending, he kissed her gently on the lips. As she responded, he deepened the kiss.
Tosh pushed Jack's T-shirt off, and kissed her way along his pristine flesh. She marvelled that it was unmarred by scars, when she had seen the wounds he had suffered on the Valiant. Gently caressing him, she leaned forward to recapture his mouth.
Jack was feeling emotions that he had long thought lost to him, and desire for the first time since Tish. And even then, that had been induced by drugs. He resisted no longer and pulled Tosh over towards his bed.
* * * *
Unbeknown to Jack and Tosh, Ianto had been watching their encounter on the CCTV. His sadness was heartbreaking, but surprisingly he was not jealous. He could not begrudge Jack finding comfort with another. Sighing deeply, he reached over and switched the CCTV camera off.
* * * *
Tosh had never wanted a man as much as she wanted Jack. And it made his touch electric. She uttered soft cries as he touched and caressed her, and her tears flowed as she touched him in return. Tosh was so hyper sensitive that she came even before he entered her.
Jack also found himself crying. He clutched Tosh to him and held her tight, practically trying to climb inside her skin. As he entered her they kissed long and deep. Jack's body was plastered against hers, full length. It had been so long since Jack had been with anyone, where his pleasure was involved, that it did not take long for him to reach completion.
Holding her close to him Jack buried his face in her hair and sobbed.
* * * *
Jack woke a couple of hours later, to find Tosh sleeping, still snuggled against him. He smiled fondly down at her. Glancing up at the CCTV camera, he saw that the light on it was off. This meant that the camera was switched off, and no one was monitoring his actions. The others did not know it, but he had seen the code that Owen typed into the cog door, on their return to the Hub after the team had rescued him from UNIT. So it would be easy to leave again. But things had changed. The team had proven to him, by their actions, that they would protect him. They did care. And they were willing to let him take heroin, and work to reduce the dose on any timescale he wanted. Even if UNIT were not lurking outside the Hub, would striking out on his own be any better? In all honesty, the only reason to do that was if he couldn't cope with being with people who knew the intimate details of his traumatic and humiliating past. Tosh knew, and did not judge him harshly. Did his shame outweigh all the help that he could get by staying? It did not take long to come to a conclusion. Decision made, he lay back down, pulled the duvet further over them both, and held Tosh close.
AN2: Please note that nothing in this chapter alters my long term plan for Janto.
Next chapter here: http://ohinyan.livejournal.com/28223.html