Part: 25/?
Rating: 18+
Warnings: Mentions of previous torture and rape
Genre: Angst, AU
Characters: Jack Harkness, Ianto Jones, Owen, Tosh, Gwen
Summary: AU. The Torchwood team discover the truth about what happened on the Valiant and search for Jack. A dark fic.
Disclaimer: Not mine.
AN: As will probably become clear, I know as much about therapy as I do about addiction. That is, practically nothing. So please forgive any glaring errors in what the therapist does, or should do and doesn't, in this story.
Previous chapter here:
http://ohinyan.livejournal.com/28538.html Chapter 25
Owen read Jack's report, while Jack lay oblivious in his room. It was horrifying. Hearing it third hand from Tosh and Gwen had not prepared him for the reality.
The lengths that UNIT had gone to, to make Jack talk, were unbelievable in a civilised society. Even before they started with the drugs, they could have been up for prosecution. Abu Salim had nothing on that UNIT prison. But it did not surprise Owen that the physical torture had not defeated Jack. Having seen the Valiant DVDs, he knew what the man could withstand.
Jack had also described the systematic addiction that he had been subjected to, and the effect this had on him. This had broken him. It was written clinically, but Owen could interpolate the events, based on what he had seen at Torchwood. Jack didn't list what he had told UNIT, but Owen assumed that everything Jack knew about Torchwood had been compromised. It was fortunate that all Jack's security codes had been invalidated. Even so, the fact that UNIT knew every detail of their operations, and all the important artefacts that they had, was deeply worrying.
Jack's description of his treatment by the guards, after their superiors had lost interest in him, was written as a bargain entered into freely. He never accused those soldiers of abuse, even coming close to sounding grateful for their actions. Clearly Jack could not see that what they did was tantamount to rape. And Owen would not disabuse him of that belief, even while accusing the soldiers of abuse and rape in his submission to the Queen.
There was just one more report that Owen needed from Jack before he could take their case to the Queen. The account of how Jack had built and used the EMP device, and what happened to it.
* * * *
Later that evening, Owen and Ianto were alone in the main Hub. They were having a much needed coffee break.
“You know, you're damned lucky that UNIT didn't arrest you when they found out about Lisa,” Owen pointed out to Ianto.
Ianto was taken aback. “Cachi!” he exclaimed in shock. “That never occurred to me.” And it really should have. “But why didn't they?”
“I don't know. But if they haven't by now, I'd guess they aren't going to,” Owen surmised.
“Right,” agreed Ianto, though he wasn't as confident as Owen about that.
Owen yawned then. “I guess it's about time that I headed home,” he told Ianto. “Jack is in his room, still stoned. Do you want to stay and monitor him? I promised him that we wouldn't leave him alone in the Hub, but Joanne and Gwen will be in soon, so you could hand over to them if you wanted.”
“No, I'll do it,” Ianto replied. “I want to make sure that he's OK.”
“OK,” agreed Owen. “I thought you'd want to.”
* * * * *
The next morning, at his house, Owen sat in the study with his laptop and his copies of the documents that he had sent the therapist. It was 9am, and she was due to arrive any time. He was psyching himself up for a difficult conversation. Karen was at work, and wasn't due back for several hours, so there should be no interruptions.
At that moment the door bell rang. Owen opened it, to see a short, dumpy, woman in her early 50s, on the doorstep. She wasn't what he had expected. Uncertain if this was the therapist, or a random caller, he asked “Doctor Nash?”
The woman smiled, and answered “Yes. May I come in?”
“Oh, of course,” Owen apologised, and ushered her in. “The study is through here.” He took her coat, and hung it on the bannister. At least Jack won't be falling for his therapist, he thought, somewhat unkindly, then berated himself internally for being such a chauvinist. In fact, he'd be only too pleased if Jack would flirt with her, as he would have in the past.
When they were both installed in the study, with a cup of coffee, they got down to the serious discussion.
“I have read all the documentation that you sent me,” Charlotte began. “It was a shock, to say the least, to find out about the Master and the months that he enslaved the Earth, not to mention the existence of an immortal man. But, from my previous work with Torchwood, I am well aware of alien life, and events that have been covered up previously. I understand perfectly why you have come to me. In fact I don't know of another therapist that you could have approached. And that gives me a great deal of responsibility.”
“Anyway,” Charlotte continued, “you are probably well aware that this case is, perhaps, the most complex and tragic case of PTSD in the history of psychiatry. The initial trauma on the Valiant would have been bad enough, a thousand times worse than any other human could have suffered. But to then receive no help, or treatment, for his PTSD, and instead be treated as a criminal, and handed over to UNIT, deepened the devastating psychological effect. What UNIT then did would have been enough to drive most people to insanity. It's amazing that Jack can function at all. And his abandonment and betrayal by his friends, after the Master died, has to have had a significant effect on how badly he became addicted to heroin.”
Owen looked mortified, but Charlotte had barely even started. “What were you thinking, just handing him over?” she asked scathingly. “It must have been obvious that he needed psychological help. Did none of your team notice anything strange about his behaviour after the Master was killed, or even before that, when he was pretending to collaborate with him?”
In his heart, Owen knew that there was no getting around the team's culpability. “While he was going along with the Master, we got no hint that he was being hurt or coerced,” he admitted. “And when the rebels stormed the ship, there was a lot happening,” he pointed out, defensively. “We had to get everyone, including all the dead, off the Valiant before the Toclafane realised that it had been compromised. We were in a panic, as they could have discovered it at any time. I didn't even see Jack until after time had reset, and he was being taken off the Valiant by UNIT. And we all thought he was a collaborator. We didn't know what he had done for us, or to help defeat the Master.”
“So, none of you even talked to him?” demanded Charlotte incredulously.
“Gwen did,” Owen admitted. “But she didn't tell us until recently. Apparently Jack begged her to let him jump, so his memories would be reset.”
“And she didn't think that was worth mentioning to the rest of you? The Valiant was 18,000 feet up; doesn't that request scream out severe trauma?”
“She just thought that Jack wanted to escape justice for his crimes,” Owen explained. “She had no idea that that was the one chance for Jack to escape the hell he'd just lived through.”
“But after time reset, you could have talked to him then.”
“I guess we could have, but to my eternal regret we didn't. He'd done too good a job of fooling us. We all hated him, particularly me and Ianto.”
“So, instead of the reprieve from torture and condemnation, that he must have been praying for, Jack found himself handed over to an organisation that treated him almost as brutally as the Master.”
Owen nodded miserably. “And we all live every day wishing that we could turn back time again,” he added.
* * * * *
At the Hub, Jack had come out of his stupor, and had showered and dressed. It was mid morning. When he emerged, he found Joanne, Gwen and Ianto drinking coffee and discussing a blowfish that Gwen and Joanne had dealt with during the night. Unfortunately Gwen had had to shoot it, as it was totally crazed on drugs and threatening several lives. The fish was now laying in the morgue, awaiting Owen's investigation into what drug had driven it mad.
There were Danish pastries in a box on the table, and Ianto pushed it over to Jack. “Coffee with it?” he asked.
Jack nodded and sat down with a pastry. He eyed up the others. Ianto looked wrecked. And, if he was still here, he must have done a day shift plus a night shift. Gwen and Joanne looked tired, but not as bad as Ianto. Gwen still wouldn't look him in the eye.
Joanne was pleased to see that Jack was eating. He was way underweight for his height.
Just then Mark walked in through the cog door. “Ah, breakfast,” he said cheerfully, grabbing one of the pastries.
“Didn't you have any before you came in?” Gwen accused. She had had her eye on that pastry.
“Oh yes,” Mark laughed, “but you can't beat these.” He downed the pastry in two bites, then headed off to his work station. “Anything to report,” he asked Joanne and Gwen as he went.
They got up and followed him. “Yes, we'd better show you,” Joanne replied. “Come to the morgue.”
“Jack, there's something I wanted to ask you,” Ianto began, after the others had gone out of earshot. “I know that you had to tell UNIT everything that you knew about Torchwood.” He stopped as Jack visibly paled, and started to show signs of agitation. “It's OK,” he said placatingly, raising his hands in a calming gesture. “I know that you didn't have a choice. I'm not blaming you. I just wondered if you had any idea why there was never any comeback on me about Lisa?” Ever since his conversation with Owen, Ianto had been worrying that someone would eventually come to arrest him for the Lisa incident.
Jack looked down, took a deep breath and then answered. “I'm sure they would have, if they had found out. But that was the one piece of information that I was determined to hold on to. I can't be sure, but I fought, with all the strength I had, not to give them that.” And it had been almost impossible, he remembered. When he was down to that one last piece of information, he had been so desperate for another fix. It was hazy now, but he knew that they had left him for a very long time without a fix, to make sure they had everything he knew. Only when they were absolutely certain there was no more information to be gained, had they allowed him to buy the heroin with his body.
Ianto could barely contain his astonishment. For Jack to manage to hold anything back, when faced with reliving his nightmarish memories endlessly if he did so, was truly amazing. Having seen him in that state, Ianto knew what that would have meant. And to do that for him, when at that point Ianto had thrown away Jack's love and loyalty, was incomprehensible. “But why?” he blurted out. “I had betrayed you by then, and you knew that I hated you. Why would you do that for me?”
“They would have executed you,” Jack pointed out. “And, all I had to hold onto, was that I had saved you and the others. After all that I'd gone through on the Valiant to keep you safe, I couldn't let UNIT kill you. It would have been soul destroying.”
Ianto was floored. And then remorse rose up, as he remembered that night with Tosh and Joanne. The night he had nearly killed himself, albeit unintentionally. Tosh had been right. That would have been a negation of everything that Jack had suffered for them. Thank god that they had saved him. Unconsciously, he plucked nervously at his sleeve, above one of his scars, hoping fervently that Jack would never find out.
* * * *
Seeing how upset Owen was, Charlotte backed off. “I know,” she said. “I can imagine what you must all be feeling. But what's done is done. What is important, is to help Jack now. And that's what I'm here for.” She smiled briefly. “I admit that it's not a case that I relish taking on. It is the most difficult case I've ever met, and I did consider saying no. I would hate to make things worse. But I can't in good conscience refuse it. Jack is in dire need of help, and I've never come across a more deserving person.”
Owen sagged in relief. He hadn't even realised how tense he was, waiting to find out if Charlotte would take Jack's case.
“I presume that you are giving Jack his full dose of heroin?” she queried.
“Yes,” Owen confirmed. “My aim is to gradually reduce his dose, but I don't want to start doing that until he is well underway with the therapy. Do you think it will work?” he asked. “We thought that dealing with his memories would be the only way to stop what happens when he goes into withdrawal. And believe me,” he stated seriously, “I never want to send him into that state again. I've never seen anything so utterly harrowing. And to know that they aren't just nightmares, that he actually lived through it all. It's enough to send us all into therapy.”
“Well, consider me available if anyone else wants to do that,” Charlotte smiled. “And, as to whether it will work for Jack, it's impossible to say. But I do think it is the most sensible thing to try. And even if it doesn't get him off the heroin, helping him deal with the memories will be very beneficial in its own right.”
“OK, then. When can you start?” Owen asked. “It isn't safe for Jack to leave our base, so the sessions will have to take place there.”
“It's going to be intensive, with Jack, so I will have to move here to Cardiff, at least for a few months,” Charlotte pointed out.
“Can you do that?” asked Owen.
“Yes. I have a very understanding husband, and my children are grown up, so I can base myself here and go back home to London for visits. I assume that Torchwood can set me up with a place to live.”
“Of course,” Owen assured her. “I'll get right on it.”
“Then I'll just need a day or two to get myself sorted, then we can start Jack's sessions. But now, tell me as much as you can about Jack's background. There wasn't anything about that in the files you sent me. And how is he immortal?”
Charlotte and Owen spent the rest of the morning discussing Jack, though there was a lot about Jack's life that Owen didn't know. They arranged a date and time for Charlotte to meet Jack. “It'll have to avoid the times he's stoned,” Owen explained. “But that seems to be roughly once every three days. We should be able to predict that well enough to avoid it.”
Finally, they shook hands and Charlotte left. She would return in two days, to start her sessions with Jack.
* * * * *
That evening, Tosh turned up at the Hub. It was officially her day off, so Mark was surprised to see her. “Hi, Tosh. Did you forget you've got the day off?” he asked.
Tosh blushed. “No, I didn't forget. I just came to see if Jack wanted any company.”
“Oh, right. Well I think he's down in his room,” Mark replied.
Tosh smiled in thanks. “I'll just go down there and see then.”
When she got to Jack's room, he was alone. She knocked and entered when he looked up. “Hi Jack,” she said, feeling shyer than she had done since her teens. “I thought you might like some company.”
Jack was genuinely pleased to see her. He had been looking at his photographs again, but was in danger of getting maudlin. “Fancy a game of chess?” he asked. “My set was in one of the boxes Ianto found for me.”
Tosh smiled gleefully. “Oh yes. And I am unbeatable at chess,” she warned him.
“Wanna bet?” he asked. “I can thing of a few things we could wager.”
Tosh grinned. “So can I,” she murmured, as they set up the board. She didn't emerge from Jack's room until morning.
AN2: Cachi - Welsh swear word
Next chapter here:
http://ohinyan.livejournal.com/29070.html