[December Drabble Challenge] Day 15 : Again
Title : [December Drabble Challenge] Day Fifteen : Again
Author : Jadey
Rating : R
Genre : Romance. Angst
Pairing : Ohno/Nino l Sho/Nino (past)
Disclaimer : fiction, yo!
Summary : It was the first time in months - Ohno knew this because he was counting - that he allowed himself to stand this close to Nino; first time in so long that his brain didn't outright command him to turn around, walk away, because he knew he was armed with enough hatred to do what he should have done the second he found out Nino was in love with Sho, and had lied to him about it.
Note : Day 15! Sorry, OMG, so behind but I promise I will try my best to finish this.
+
It was the first time in months - Ohno knew this because he was counting - that he allowed himself to stand this close to Nino; first time in so long that his brain didn't outright command him to turn around, walk away, because he knew he was armed with enough hatred to do what he should have done the second he found out Nino was in love with Sho, and had lied to him about it.
Months - and it was long enough for him to forgive them both, especially after Sho had said, confessed, that he and Nino were over even before Nino decided to sleep with him two months after they've split up, but Ohno still didn't.
Ohno didn't believe them then, and he wasn't stupid to believe them now. He couldn't. It was painful in a way so profound that not even Sho's and Nino's combined apologies was enough for them to earn his forgiveness. He wouldn't give it to them then, and he was not that dumb to give it to them now either.
Or so he thought.
It's Aiba's birthday; Aiba had invited them over a month before, had made sure all four of them are free that day. He only agreed to go because he couldn't bear to thought of hurting Aiba's feelings, and he was certain that telling Aiba he wasn't going to be there on his birthday celebration straight to Aiba's face surely would hurt the other man.
And he swore he had no intention of going; he already had his alibis straightened up weeks before, but somehow, Aiba still managed to convinced his manager to act like everyone's personal driver and had told him to pick everyone up from wherever they are.
And that was how Ohno found himself here around an hour and a half later, cheering with everyone and congratulating Aiba for yet another year passed, trying not to meet Nino's gaze in the crowd.
Then came the alcohol. Ohno knew he should have looked away the instant his and Nino's eyes found each other, but somehow, he couldn't. There were so much behind Nino's eyes that made him pause, so much beneath the feigned impassiveness written all over Nino's face that said he was entirely unhappy.
And Ohno kind of realized what was causing it the second he walked in on Nino crying, fingers shaking around his cigarette. They were at the balcony of Aiba's apartment - Ohno didn't know what prompted him to follow Nino five minutes after he saw Nino leaving, stepping away from Jun and Aiba's noisy company to smoke, but here he was.
"I - I'll be out in a bit, Leader," Nino said, more like grumbled, shakily, and Ohno felt like hugging the fuck out of him.
It didn't matter that Nino hurt him, it didn't, didn't matter that he was miserable for the better part of the year because he thought Nino just agreed to be with him out of spite. Nothing mattered, nothing at all, because in the end, even if Nino really just did sleep with him to get over Sho, he still couldn't deny the fact that he was happy. That Nino made him happy for choosing him, and not someone else.
Even if Nino didn't really mean it.
He slid the glass door closed and stood behind it, behind Nino, watching Nino and Nino's shaking body before his feet decided to act on their own. Before he realized it, he was behind Nino, so close that he could breathe in the lavender scent of Nino's shampoo. He heaved a sigh, then promptly moved to worm his arms around Nino's waist from behind, feeling Nino freezing in place.
He ignored it and against his better judgment, leaned forward to bury his nose against the back of Nino's head, his arms tight around Nino.
"I was going to watch you suffer; laugh at your pain while I tell myself that you deserved this and more. But then I saw your tears, my name spilling out of your quivering lips and it hit me with the staggering reality that after everything you’ve done, after all the pain I’ve gone through because of you, I still couldn’t stand the sight of you crying. I couldn’t. It didn’t matter that you’ve hurt me, and that you’re still hurting me. I couldn’t do the same thing to you. Because I love you. And I guess I always would," he breathed against Nino's hair, and felt more than heard Nino's shuddering gasps as he loosened his hold around Nino and Nino turning in his arms so fast he almost didn't see it coming.
"O-Oh-chan -"
"It's okay," he said, patting Nino's back, voice quivering just the slightest bit. Even now, even after so long, it still felt wonderful to have Nino in his arms like this, to hold Nino, like Nino was made for him and him alone. "You don't have to love me back, you know? I wouldn't hold it against you anymore. Just. Just let me love you," he said, meaning it. Because that's what's felt right. "Just let me love you and it would be enough. I swear you don't have to do anything else. And you don't have to feel bad about it anymore,"
"Don't say that," Nino whispered, his breath was warm against Ohno's neck. "please don't say that, Leader." Nino said. "I know I've hurt you, I know you were never okay with the fact that I and Sho-chan were..." Nino paused here, like the very fact that he was telling Ohno this was causing him physical pain, and Ohno found himself hugging Nino tighter. "I know it was my bad, I should have told you sooner but I just... I was scared about how you would react, and you did, see?"
"Nino -"
"I'm sorry," Nino apologized, shaking so hard Ohno's heart broke at the thought that he was the reason for it, for Nino's pain as a result of the heartache Nino had caused him, even if it was intentional. "I'm so sorry, Oh-chan,"
"Shhh," he whispered, pulling Nino closer to him and dropping a kiss to the side of Nino's temple. He wasn't sure where they would end up after this, but somehow, it didn't matter. Somehow, he was certain this wasn't going to be the last time he'd be able to hold Nino like this, the last time they'd talk like this.
Somehow, Ohno knew he was already looking forward to it.
"Let's go get you something to drink, come on," he told Nino instead, pushing Nino away so he could take Nino's face in between his hands, pressing his lips lightly against Nino's own.
Author : Jadey
Rating : R
Genre : Romance. Angst
Pairing : Ohno/Nino l Sho/Nino (past)
Disclaimer : fiction, yo!
Summary : It was the first time in months - Ohno knew this because he was counting - that he allowed himself to stand this close to Nino; first time in so long that his brain didn't outright command him to turn around, walk away, because he knew he was armed with enough hatred to do what he should have done the second he found out Nino was in love with Sho, and had lied to him about it.
Note : Day 15! Sorry, OMG, so behind but I promise I will try my best to finish this.
+
It was the first time in months - Ohno knew this because he was counting - that he allowed himself to stand this close to Nino; first time in so long that his brain didn't outright command him to turn around, walk away, because he knew he was armed with enough hatred to do what he should have done the second he found out Nino was in love with Sho, and had lied to him about it.
Months - and it was long enough for him to forgive them both, especially after Sho had said, confessed, that he and Nino were over even before Nino decided to sleep with him two months after they've split up, but Ohno still didn't.
Ohno didn't believe them then, and he wasn't stupid to believe them now. He couldn't. It was painful in a way so profound that not even Sho's and Nino's combined apologies was enough for them to earn his forgiveness. He wouldn't give it to them then, and he was not that dumb to give it to them now either.
Or so he thought.
It's Aiba's birthday; Aiba had invited them over a month before, had made sure all four of them are free that day. He only agreed to go because he couldn't bear to thought of hurting Aiba's feelings, and he was certain that telling Aiba he wasn't going to be there on his birthday celebration straight to Aiba's face surely would hurt the other man.
And he swore he had no intention of going; he already had his alibis straightened up weeks before, but somehow, Aiba still managed to convinced his manager to act like everyone's personal driver and had told him to pick everyone up from wherever they are.
And that was how Ohno found himself here around an hour and a half later, cheering with everyone and congratulating Aiba for yet another year passed, trying not to meet Nino's gaze in the crowd.
Then came the alcohol. Ohno knew he should have looked away the instant his and Nino's eyes found each other, but somehow, he couldn't. There were so much behind Nino's eyes that made him pause, so much beneath the feigned impassiveness written all over Nino's face that said he was entirely unhappy.
And Ohno kind of realized what was causing it the second he walked in on Nino crying, fingers shaking around his cigarette. They were at the balcony of Aiba's apartment - Ohno didn't know what prompted him to follow Nino five minutes after he saw Nino leaving, stepping away from Jun and Aiba's noisy company to smoke, but here he was.
"I - I'll be out in a bit, Leader," Nino said, more like grumbled, shakily, and Ohno felt like hugging the fuck out of him.
It didn't matter that Nino hurt him, it didn't, didn't matter that he was miserable for the better part of the year because he thought Nino just agreed to be with him out of spite. Nothing mattered, nothing at all, because in the end, even if Nino really just did sleep with him to get over Sho, he still couldn't deny the fact that he was happy. That Nino made him happy for choosing him, and not someone else.
Even if Nino didn't really mean it.
He slid the glass door closed and stood behind it, behind Nino, watching Nino and Nino's shaking body before his feet decided to act on their own. Before he realized it, he was behind Nino, so close that he could breathe in the lavender scent of Nino's shampoo. He heaved a sigh, then promptly moved to worm his arms around Nino's waist from behind, feeling Nino freezing in place.
He ignored it and against his better judgment, leaned forward to bury his nose against the back of Nino's head, his arms tight around Nino.
"I was going to watch you suffer; laugh at your pain while I tell myself that you deserved this and more. But then I saw your tears, my name spilling out of your quivering lips and it hit me with the staggering reality that after everything you’ve done, after all the pain I’ve gone through because of you, I still couldn’t stand the sight of you crying. I couldn’t. It didn’t matter that you’ve hurt me, and that you’re still hurting me. I couldn’t do the same thing to you. Because I love you. And I guess I always would," he breathed against Nino's hair, and felt more than heard Nino's shuddering gasps as he loosened his hold around Nino and Nino turning in his arms so fast he almost didn't see it coming.
"O-Oh-chan -"
"It's okay," he said, patting Nino's back, voice quivering just the slightest bit. Even now, even after so long, it still felt wonderful to have Nino in his arms like this, to hold Nino, like Nino was made for him and him alone. "You don't have to love me back, you know? I wouldn't hold it against you anymore. Just. Just let me love you," he said, meaning it. Because that's what's felt right. "Just let me love you and it would be enough. I swear you don't have to do anything else. And you don't have to feel bad about it anymore,"
"Don't say that," Nino whispered, his breath was warm against Ohno's neck. "please don't say that, Leader." Nino said. "I know I've hurt you, I know you were never okay with the fact that I and Sho-chan were..." Nino paused here, like the very fact that he was telling Ohno this was causing him physical pain, and Ohno found himself hugging Nino tighter. "I know it was my bad, I should have told you sooner but I just... I was scared about how you would react, and you did, see?"
"Nino -"
"I'm sorry," Nino apologized, shaking so hard Ohno's heart broke at the thought that he was the reason for it, for Nino's pain as a result of the heartache Nino had caused him, even if it was intentional. "I'm so sorry, Oh-chan,"
"Shhh," he whispered, pulling Nino closer to him and dropping a kiss to the side of Nino's temple. He wasn't sure where they would end up after this, but somehow, it didn't matter. Somehow, he was certain this wasn't going to be the last time he'd be able to hold Nino like this, the last time they'd talk like this.
Somehow, Ohno knew he was already looking forward to it.
"Let's go get you something to drink, come on," he told Nino instead, pushing Nino away so he could take Nino's face in between his hands, pressing his lips lightly against Nino's own.