The last day of the year
It's been ages since I've updated anything. Another year has passed. Michigan worked out well so far. In fact, I'm about to head to the Rose Bowl for the game.
New Years is always a confusing time for me. I always end up looking back and thinking about who knows what. Some years it's relationships, others its family things, but there's always something. This year it's mostly been about my move to Michigan, or leaving California, growing up, or some other shit like that.
I'm not sure what's home any more. It's not Santa Barbara. I said my good byes, the lab's functionally disbanded, I graduated, dance is gone, and it's just over. The bay area hasn't been home for awhile. I still try to talk to my friends, but it's od not really seing them for most of the year. Everyone just sorta goes his or her own way. Things in Michigan have been pretty decent for the most part, but i keep comparing it to California and I don't know if that's what I should do or not.
It's just odd trying to let go is all. Part of me doesn't want to and keeps thinking of ways to come back and have my old life. It doesn't make sense, it's just a few things that keep popping back into my head.
We drove through SF on the way to grandma's and again on the way to Napa. Both times I caught myself thinking about UCSF and some of the other plans I had to go along with it. Getting a cute place out in the avenues, and biking into work. Caltran to Redwood City for the weekends... It was odd. A year ago it was what i was sure was going to happen, but now I don't know. I still think that's the life I want, but it's harder to get to. Kinda like driving past the exit you were supposed to take and watching it pull further back into the distance while you figure you can always take the next one.
New Years is always a confusing time for me. I always end up looking back and thinking about who knows what. Some years it's relationships, others its family things, but there's always something. This year it's mostly been about my move to Michigan, or leaving California, growing up, or some other shit like that.
I'm not sure what's home any more. It's not Santa Barbara. I said my good byes, the lab's functionally disbanded, I graduated, dance is gone, and it's just over. The bay area hasn't been home for awhile. I still try to talk to my friends, but it's od not really seing them for most of the year. Everyone just sorta goes his or her own way. Things in Michigan have been pretty decent for the most part, but i keep comparing it to California and I don't know if that's what I should do or not.
It's just odd trying to let go is all. Part of me doesn't want to and keeps thinking of ways to come back and have my old life. It doesn't make sense, it's just a few things that keep popping back into my head.
We drove through SF on the way to grandma's and again on the way to Napa. Both times I caught myself thinking about UCSF and some of the other plans I had to go along with it. Getting a cute place out in the avenues, and biking into work. Caltran to Redwood City for the weekends... It was odd. A year ago it was what i was sure was going to happen, but now I don't know. I still think that's the life I want, but it's harder to get to. Kinda like driving past the exit you were supposed to take and watching it pull further back into the distance while you figure you can always take the next one.