zero.
I was tired of it. I'd been tired of it for indictions, since I'd left Keeper and didn't have her to keep me safe. I was tired and lonely, not to mention wet and cold. I said, "My name's Mildmay. That's for real."
She was from Wrath. She didn't know the baggage that name had.
-Mélusine, Sarah Monette
Mun
Name: Pel
Livejournal Username: pitselly
E-mail: CapeQuod@gmail.com
AIM: CapeHoc
Current Characters at Luceti: nada.
Character
Name: Mildmay the Fox
Fandom: The Doctrine of Labyrinths
Gender: m
Age: Somewhere over three septads (Mildmay is at least 21 years old, and he may be a bit older, give or take an indiction year or two).
Time Period: Post-Mirador, pre-Corambis.
Wing Color: Fox red.
History:
Mildmay has a pretty extensive past that I’ll try to condense for the benefit of all mankind. Tell me if it’s too condensed, I’d be happy to elaborate where you specify.
Mildmay is from a world not our own, called Meduse. His mother, Methony, was from Troia, but sailed to Marathat for unknown reasons before entering into the world’s oldest profession. It’s unknown how many children she had, but she at least had Felix, who was sold to a thief-keeper when he was old enough, and Mildmay, who was also sold to a(nother) thief-keeper when he was old enough. After Mildmay was sold to a thief-keeper, he never saw Methony again. He hardly even remembers her. It’s unknown who his father is. Mildmay never met his older brother, Felix, before they were sold.
A thief-keeper is someone who cares for children, for the price of those children doing the jobs that the keeper specifies. Mildmay's keeper, a woman named Kholkis, commonly got her kept jobs involving hired killings and assassinations. Mildmay was thus trained as an assassin for the lower city of Mélusine (the upper city is aristocratic, the lower city is plebeian, etc.), first being an assassin of little note, eventually killing Cerberus Cresset, a major and much-hated member of Mélusine's government, which earned him an established reputation as an assassin of skill and cunning and getting him an epithet: Mildmay the Fox. Meaning sly, dangerous and intelligent, like a fox. Mildmay is also said to occasionally look vulpine, so it's possible he was called this beforehand, but only jocularly; eventually it became a title of prestige when he got a reputation of prestige, too. But either way that was, there was one problem with Mildmay's skyrocketing carrier.
He hated killing.
Mildmay had a conscience, and hated murder, but was consistently manipulated and verbally abused by his keeper into continuing his profession-- not one he's chosen, but one he was forced into. Eventually, he escaped his keeper, and 'quit' by means of running away. He worked successfully cat bugler for several years before meeting one Ginevra Thomson. She hired him, he did the job, and then they fell in love and dated for several months. Eventually, they split up, when the authorities caught onto Mildmay and began trying to arrest him once more (he'd been living in hiding from them since he killed Cerberus, but they hadn't had any information on him in a while and thus no ability to chase after him) and Mildmay decided it was too dangerous for them to stay close. They fought, and she left in a huff. Mildmay survived for a few more months as a cat burglar before he found out that Ginevra had been murdered. After which, he tried to steal from a wizard. It didn't work out so well. The wizard's name was Mavortian Von Heber, and he needed a bodyguard, as he was foreign to Marathat. Along with his servant, Bernard, they left Mélusine (the capital of Marathat/name of the first book of the series), and began the search for a mysterious man, eventually successful.
That man turned out to be Mildmay's older brother, Felix. They looked so amazingly alike that it was immediately obvious they were related the first time they met (when Mildmay was ~20 and Felix was ~27), and when they both named their shared mother, it was cemented. Felix, though, had been driven insane from a recent accident, and Mildmay was for better or worse assigned as his babysitter. But Mildmay didn't mind, and showed how much of an assassin he really wasn't, not at heart, by taking care of, nurturing and protecting his new-found older brother as best he could. Circumstance changed yet again as the company they were in split apart, and Mildmay and Felix were left to their own devices. In a rare bout of lucidity, Felix insisted that the only way to reverse his madness was to go to Troia, a far-off country. Mildmay complied.
Along the sea-voyage to reach Troia, the boat was hit by a storm and sunk. Though they both survived, Mildmay seriously injured his leg in the wreckage-- in the process of rescuing and pretty much saving the life of his brother. In Troia, Felix was cured of his madness and the brothers meet completely lucidly for the first time. Mildmay's leg could not be healed, though, his career as a cat burglar is over. He could still walk, but not as fast as normal, nor can he run, and describes the very thought of some staircases making him want to cry. He had a pronounced limp and would for the rest of his life.
Felix and Mildmay set about returning to Marathat, though, and meet one Mehitabel Parr along the way. She joined them, and they rescued Von Heber, Bernard (Von Heber's brother) and Gideon-- a friend of Felix's-- from a particularly painful death along the way, as they were at that time captured by people who kill wizards like Gideon and Von Heber.
They continued towards Marathat. Mildmay realized he couldn't do anything to support himself, now that he was permanently crippled, and with the information the authorities had on him, would inevitably catch him. He begs Felix, a wizard, to do the obligation d'âme on him-- it's a magical binding that requires Mildmay to do whatever Felix asks, but for that price, Felix must protect Mildmay from anything and everything. Felix complied, and they reached Marathat. Now sane, Felix resumed his old occupation as a wizard for the Marathine government, the Mirador, and Mildmay was safe from injury-- wizards know that Felix must protect Mildmay, and Felix is one of the more powerful wizards of his generation. But who will protect Mildmay from Felix?
...Nobody. Felix eventually got Really Pissed Off and sent Mildmay on something a little safer than a suicide mission: he ordered Mildmay to kill a blood witch. Mildmay was (surprisingly) successful, but in the process he was kidnapped by Malkar, the wizard who drove Felix insane in the first place. Mildmay was tortured to the point that he wasn't crazy, just completely insensible (he's described as acting like a wild, angry animal). After several months, Felix and company saved him, though Von Heber died in the process. Malkar was killed. They returned to The Mirador, and Mildmay begins the slow road to recovery, though he's never quite the same, becomming more quiet and introverted than he already was.
They live in Relative Peace inside the confines of The Mirador, and Mildmay continues to be painfully subservient to Felix, though they also have a lot of fights, largely because Felix... likes picking fights with people. They're brothers and they love each other, yes, but Felix is incredibly extroverted, while Mildmay is introverted to the same extent. They've never known each other except in the last three years, and while they understand each other (mostly) they occasionally have difficulty actually getting along.
Political turmoil struck once more in the Mirador and something Very Unfortunate (and fatal) happened to Gideon, who was at that point romantically involved with Felix. Felix got very angry in turn and purposefully drove the perpetrator of this crime insane with magic-- a high crime in the book of The Mirador. For this, Felix was exiled. Because Mildmay was bound to Felix, he has to go, too.
And that's when he's plucked from the long road between Marathat and Corambis right smack dab into the middle of Luceti.
Personality:
If you counted self-esteem in numbers, Mildmay has a negative nine thousand. He actively hates himself, and thinks he's a monster for killing all the people that he has, and doesn't expect people to like him. Because of this, he doesn't try to be pleasing or nice to other people, expecting that no matter what he does, no one will like him. It's a vicious cycle, I know.
To an outsider, he's extremely quiet and impassive, ashamed of a giant scar on his face that he received (in a knife-fight) in early youth; he thinks he's hideous-looking, combined with the fact that the scar isn't really a good thing to have if you want to not stick out, a key ability for an assassin. Mildmay also has bright red hair, a strikingly odd feature in Marathat, making him stick out even more. These two traits have bled into each other and resulted in a deep suspicion of being paid attention, and a deeper hatred of being in the center of it; he's very skilled at blending in, in spite of his physical appearance.
He isn't talkative, he's taciturn to the point of being occasionally monosyllabic, he doesn't often do introspection, not questioning why he does something or what his motivations are, though after he makes a decision, he will understand why he did it. He has an intrinsic understanding of his own mind, to the point where it becomes a weakness; with few exceptions, he doesn't question himself, his actions or his motivations, until it's too late.
Mildmay knows very well who he is and what his place is in the world, but he hates that person and he hates that place. He doesn't strive to change because he sees no way around it, nor does he even acknowledge that he dislikes himself. He'll just automatically assume that most people really dislike being around him or hate him from the start. He has a great deal of difficulty believing when people tell him differently, or compliment him.
People do compliment him occasionally, though, because is is fairly intelligent. However, he cannot view this as 'real', always dismissing compliments as misguided or ill-meant. All of Mildmay's skills were learned for the art of swift murder; Mildmay does not view them as good things, regardless of whether he is using them benignly.
On that note, though, he dearly hates being insulted, because it just backs up that he's the kind of person who he thinks he is: the type who deserves to be insulted. Depending on the person insulting, he'll either react in anger or just walk away. Okay, not walk. Limp.
For all that Mildmay blends into the wall and doesn't talk, he's become a passive observer of the world. Given enough time, he can very readily understand others, often because he talks so little, he just lets other people talk and talk and talk, and learns a lot about them from the exchange. He's very empathic and kind, but won't express this in any outward way unless he has to.
Mildmay also loves children and is naturally good with them. He doesn't play with them or anything, but tells them stories and treats them intelligently and generally, kids love him. He's a firm believer in preserving innocence.
He also loves his brother. He really really does. When Felix was insane, and Mildmay had to take care of him, he describes any time when Felix was happy and felt safe with him as the best time of his life. He only wants to be by Felix, good or bad, even when Felix returned to sanity and his admittedly rotten personality along with it. Mildmay will do anything anything anything for Felix.
So Mildmay understands other people, but not himself, loves the brother who treats him like shit, and thinks he should be treated like shit, but hates being treated like shit and hates people who perpetuate that treatment.
Mildmay... he's complicated.
Strengths:
Physically, Mildmay is a very excellent knife fighter (as is evidenced by his... entire childhood, and several references in Mélusine, most notably by his habit of doing knife-tricks when he's thinking, as seen when he visits Margot and her Badgers). He cannot fight with sword nor lance nor spear, but give him a butterfly knife and he knows his business. And he is very businesslike about death and pain, as he was a trained assassin. He will kill emotionlessly, quickly (if he can help it) and methodically. He has only ever been caught once, when he was simply maneuvered by one of the most powerful wizards in the entire series (when Malkar caught him at Porphyria's house near the end of The Virtu). Mind you, not outmatched by that wizard; no magic was used against Mildmay until he was caught in a purely strategic trap.
So Mildmay was an assassin, and a damn good one, too. He is very good at killing people, stealing (as his past profession as a cat burglar can attest, as seen through the first half of Mélusine), lock-picking (seen when he breaks Gideon and Von Heber out of prison, and notes that old locks are more difficult to break than newer more technologically advanced ones, since old locks are rusty and don't respond to picking as well), blending into a crowd (as seen in the crowd scenes in Mélusine), playing cards (as referenced in Mélusine, when he says he doesn't like playing cards for money, and seen in Corambis, when he does just that in order to financially support his brother and himself), et cetera. The things you can expect an assassin/cat burglar to be good at, he is fairly good at, with lying being the big exception. Mildmay, like his brother, cannot lie worth shit, in action, word or intent. This is seen just about... every time he talks to Mehitabel in The Mirador. Try as he might to obscure his intentions from her, she sees through him every time. His brother does, too, and he's about as observant as a brick at the best of times.
Moving on, Mildmay's also got the neigh-unexplained ability to Never Get Lost, not even in a maze or a (drumroll) labyrinth. Due to his brother's amazing ability to Get Lost Constantly, Mildmay has in all likelihood been afforded this ability by the great and cosmic powers that control Thematic Irony.
Oh, and he's one of the three characters in the entire story who can swim, which he displays several times, most notably when he jumped into a huge river in order to save his brother's life in The Virtu. Like most necessary life skills, Felix lacks the ability to swim where Mildmay hones it whenever possible.
Emotionally, Mildmay is incredibly empathic, able to read people easily. He's no Sherlock Holmes, he can't tell where you were born by shaking your hand, but he can judge the things important to him in other people: their social class, their intelligence, their relative innocence, and their potential threat level. For example, the first time we meet Mehitabel, she introduces herself as a governess. Mildmay immediately confides in the narration, she was something, alright, but she wasn't no governess. Turns out he was right. He is similarly able to figure out Gideon would do anything for Felix before anyone else did (which, in this scenario, basically means he figured out Gideon was in love with Felix by the second time he'd met Gideon and Felix). He figured out Bernard and Von Heber were brothers 'or something' after a week in their presence. In his defense, the reason it took him a whole week was because he was nearly dying of the flu at the time.
Despite having no formal education whatsoever, Mildmay is very good with rote memorization, numbers, mathematics (applied, not hypothetical; so, like, multiplication and division, not physics), history and puzzles. His favorite hobbies are looking at maps (as seen in the early part of The Virtu, where Felix-- who is about as observant as a brick, have I mentioned?-- finds maps specifically for Mildmay to toy with, later parts of Mélusine, where iliterate Mildmay navigates three countries, two of which he's never set foot in before, with the use of three maps and his own wit, and in Corambis, where he does the same thing again, save in a different direction and with a donkey named Rosalind) and pricing objects in his head to see what they'd sell for on the open market (as seen largely in the early parts of Mélusine, since he doesn't have need to price things anymore after he can't steal things any longer. But he was no kleptomaniac then, he just liked to price everything he set eyes on to keep him sharp).
He knows almost the entire history of Marathat's royal family, as he recounts several times throughout the books, most notably when explaining things to Gideon and Mehitabel in The Mirador, due to the fact that neither Gideon nor Mehitabel were Marathine in origin. He tells the history while standing alongside someone who was actually a scholar on Marathine history, and manages to keep up with his explanations despite, again, having no formal education in the matter. Though to be fair, he only knows the colloquial stories, knowing several monarchs only by their epithets, and had to talk to the scholar (which he hated) several time to get his facts precisely straight to both their standards.
He can count out money with great proficiency, is a wonderful storyteller (when he's in the rare mood to be social enough to tell stories at all-- like in The Virtu to little Florian on the White Otter) and is really amazing with getting out of traps, both mechanical and social (as seen in his escape from Aiaia-- done with a lame leg and two malnourished wizards in tow-- in the early parts of The Virtu, and his escape from Malkar in the later parts of the same book).
Weaknesses:
Mildmay is a skilled killer, with a huge amount of physical prowess all honed towards the art of perpetuating crimes, robbing people of their property and/or their lives.
...Mind you, with his morals, personality and leg being the way that they now are, Mildmay will rarely utilize these skills, either because he can’t or because he won’t. These days, the skill he relies on most is reading people-- something he’s very good at, seeing as he is most often a passive observer, even in his own life. He doesn’t spend much thinking time on himself, so he’s free to pick up, watch and understand other people.
This came to a head at the end of The Mirador, where he refused to kill a man even though he'd been magically compelled to do so; he was only able to resist due to sheer force of will. Afterwards, because he failed to kill this man, he is more-less exiled from the only home he's ever known. However, Mildmay shows no remorse for his action, and in fact seems quite proud of himself for resisting the call towards murder. He is staunchly opposed to killing at this point in time, and to a lesser extent, he is opposed to violence of any kind. This renders a huge chunk of his skills nill. Add that to his bum leg, and he's much less formidable than he seems; the only skills he has are based in the abilities of his mind, which are things he has no confidence in.
Physical handicap aside, Mildmay also has a mental handicap. He's been told he's stupid-- by his Keeper, by the bourgeois, by his brother and friends-- so often that he believes it. He may have uncanny skill in mathematics, but he is unable to fully utilize his innate skill to its full extent, due to the unshakable belief that he cannot really be that smart. He will always stop himself from using his skills to their full extent.
But he does have a very real mathematical skill. He can add and subtract with ease, as seen whenever he's left to handle his and Felix's finances (Mélusine on the way to Troia, The Virtu on the way back, and in Corambis, where he becomes convinced unshakably that if anything happens to him they'll be short on cash... which is exactly what happens. He is able to manage their finances by playing cards up to the point where he becomes deathly ill, though).
Innate skills aside, Mildmay lacks learned skills in spades. From the point in canon I am taking him, he is illiterate (though he could hypothetically learn how, as is seen in the book that takes place after when I'm taking him, Corambis), and has no practice navigating more scholarly subjects like psychology or philosophy. This isn't because (despite what he thinks) he's stupid, it's because he's never had a formal education and is thus unpracticed at thinking in such a fashion. Higher concepts escape him not because he is too dim to grasp them, but because he doesn't know how to properly hold the subjects in his mind, having no prior experience doing so. For this reason among others, he cannot keep up with Gideon and Felix's conversations in The Virtu until they talk about something besides theoretical magical physics and maybe wander into the territories Mildmay is better acquainted with (~MARATHINE HISTORY TIME~).
Lastly, Mildmay is also inclined towards sickness. He is by no means innately sickly, but when he gets a cold, he gets a serious flu that leaves him completely bedridden for upwards of a month. This is seen in Mélusine, where it enables Von Heber to keep him in his hotel where usually he would not have the facilities to do so against Mildmay's will, and in Corambis, where Mildmay becomes so sick that Felix has to turn to prostitution in order to get the money to get a doctor (did I mention these books are melodramatic as shit? Because they are).
Samples
First Person:
Y'all ever heard this one? About Septimus Octavian and his angels? That's a good one; my friend Jeanie Crosser used to love it. She liked the idea of men with wings in their backs. Me, I always reckoned that sounded painful as all bugfuck. Turns out I'm right. Somewhere, she owes me quarter-gorgon. 'Spose it don't matter, now.
'Spose probably she's dead.
So Septimus Octavian was an evil, stupid motherfucker of a man who lived in the time of kings before the hocus' cabal. He lived before you or I had ever lived or any folk gave a flying fuck about some Teverii bastards. That's how old this story is. Really goddamn old. So Septimus Octavian was a stupid fuck, so greedy his eyes had turned always-green. Some folk says everyone who got green eyes is his son or daughter's daughter's son or son's daughter.
Me, for my sake, I hope not.
Septimus Octavian wasn't greedy for just gold and jewels and the like, though. The thing he wanted more'n anything else was his wife's every thought. To him, if she did anything asides from thinking of him all fucking day, day out and day in, it was as good as if she'd fucked some merchantman down from Havelock. He was a fucking stupid bastard, like I said.
Septimus' wife was named Nona Decima. She was the nicest little lady you never seen, not too tall and plenty round, with a big smile on her face all the times of the day.
Septimus' favorite thing to do was to capture rare beauties and show 'em to Nona and try and get her to love him that way. She never loved him, though. Dunno why she married him, she probably could've done better. Most folk could've done better than Septimus fucking Octavius. So one day he goes and he says, hey, Nona, I got something you'll like to see. And Nona, sweet tempered and all, goes down to his dark dank basement to see whatever treasures he's gotten his grubby hands on this time.
And there there it is, an angel, which is a naked man with big grey wings on his back, like Phi-Kethetin was making a roc and was making a man and forgot not to connect 'em. And dear sweet Nona Decima thought he was the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen, like out of a painting or maybe a tapestry I guess, since this was a long time ago and all.
And this angel, this fucking beautiful angel with perfect eyes and skin and wings, he's chained to the ground and weeping. Why are you weeping, says Nona, and the angel tries to answer, but Septimus starts beating him afores he can get a word out. Nona's a smart girl, though, and she figures it out. You gots to have wings like that for flying, but all chained up, the angel ain't gonna be able to manage it.
So later that night, Nona sneaks back down and frees him, and he thanks her and kisses her face and says they can run away together. But no, no, Nona says, she gotta stay there, she has to be a good wife, all kind and careful, that's all she knows how to do.
Now, in some versions of the story I heard, the angel says Nona can be his wife, and she agrees, and off they go, never to see Septimus again.
Other versions, she says being married to two men is a sin, and she ain't sinful, so back she goes and in the morning, Septimus realizes his angel is gone and he goes and finds Nona and strangles her in her bed.
Either way, I don't trust these fucking wings.
Third Person:
"What's you're name, then?" The barkeep says in a voice that suggests he certainly ain't flash. Then again, what the fuck does flash matter, here? Stitch yourself up, Milly-Fox, cause you're falling apart.
Mildmay answers in as harmless voice as possible. Fucking hilarious, that is. Or, as Zephyr would've said, ironic. Mildmay never quite learned what that word meant exactly, but he thinks it would've fit right in with this circus, here. "Gilroi," Mildmay says, and the barkeep raises his eyebrow like he knows shit when he smells it. Which'd make him smarter than Mildmay on a good day, Mildmay wagers. Still can't fucking lie worth the ground you piss on, Milly-fox? "Mildmay."
"Gilroi Mildmay," The barkeep says, all no-fucking-way. Mildmay's off his game. He lowers his head, slightly, letting some hair drift in front of the awful mess of skin he calls a face.
If he was the honest type, Mildmay'd say he done fucked up, right about now.
Mildmay is the honest type, who's he fucking kidding?
"Yeah," Mildmay says, and the barkeep's eyes are just about to roll right the fuck outta his head. Still, they both keep going along with it, like they both don't know the big fat juicy lie they're telling themselves. Cause no one's fooling the other one. Mildmay knows barkeeps too well, and this motherfucker knows a liar when he sees one.
Fellows of a disreputable sort, Felix'd say.
The less thought about Felix, the better. Either cause whenever Mildmay thinks about Felix, he wants to stab something (or himself, or Felix) or because whenever he thinks about Felix, he wants to cry. Neither option's really a good idea, right now, Mildmay reckons.
Stitch yourself together, Milly-fox.
Mildmay's wings ache, and ain't that the most hilarious motherfucking thing anyone ever heard. The only thing farther from an angel than Mildmay the Fox is a dead Mildmay the Fox.
Ironic, that is.
"So, why d'you want a bartending job," the barkeep says, finally, after he's done giving Mildmay the hairiest eyeball he's ever seen outside of the Lower City itself. Mildmay sniffles a bit, trying to look like he knows his business in a world like this, where nothing makes proper sense and all his familiar dreams are nightmares at best.
Just like home, really.
The barkeep keeps on talking. "You know there's no money, here, right? Someone's told you?"
And ain't that just the most condescending thing.
"Need something to do," Mildmay says. "I ain't the like that can just sit around."
"Are you, then?" The barkeep shrugs, and goes back to his business behind the bar. "I'll call you if there's an opening."
Mildmay is pretty sure he's being fed a line of the very politest bullshit. He's also sure he's being given a polite way to walk on out the door before either of them embarrass themselves more. Respectively speaking, of course.
Like the kicked dog Mildmay is, he rolls over and takes what's given him. "Thank you kindly," he says as he limps on out the door, into a city far more alien than any he's ever encountered before.
She was from Wrath. She didn't know the baggage that name had.
-Mélusine, Sarah Monette
Mun
Name: Pel
Livejournal Username: pitselly
E-mail: CapeQuod@gmail.com
AIM: CapeHoc
Current Characters at Luceti: nada.
Character
Name: Mildmay the Fox
Fandom: The Doctrine of Labyrinths
Gender: m
Age: Somewhere over three septads (Mildmay is at least 21 years old, and he may be a bit older, give or take an indiction year or two).
Time Period: Post-Mirador, pre-Corambis.
Wing Color: Fox red.
History:
Mildmay has a pretty extensive past that I’ll try to condense for the benefit of all mankind. Tell me if it’s too condensed, I’d be happy to elaborate where you specify.
Mildmay is from a world not our own, called Meduse. His mother, Methony, was from Troia, but sailed to Marathat for unknown reasons before entering into the world’s oldest profession. It’s unknown how many children she had, but she at least had Felix, who was sold to a thief-keeper when he was old enough, and Mildmay, who was also sold to a(nother) thief-keeper when he was old enough. After Mildmay was sold to a thief-keeper, he never saw Methony again. He hardly even remembers her. It’s unknown who his father is. Mildmay never met his older brother, Felix, before they were sold.
A thief-keeper is someone who cares for children, for the price of those children doing the jobs that the keeper specifies. Mildmay's keeper, a woman named Kholkis, commonly got her kept jobs involving hired killings and assassinations. Mildmay was thus trained as an assassin for the lower city of Mélusine (the upper city is aristocratic, the lower city is plebeian, etc.), first being an assassin of little note, eventually killing Cerberus Cresset, a major and much-hated member of Mélusine's government, which earned him an established reputation as an assassin of skill and cunning and getting him an epithet: Mildmay the Fox. Meaning sly, dangerous and intelligent, like a fox. Mildmay is also said to occasionally look vulpine, so it's possible he was called this beforehand, but only jocularly; eventually it became a title of prestige when he got a reputation of prestige, too. But either way that was, there was one problem with Mildmay's skyrocketing carrier.
He hated killing.
Mildmay had a conscience, and hated murder, but was consistently manipulated and verbally abused by his keeper into continuing his profession-- not one he's chosen, but one he was forced into. Eventually, he escaped his keeper, and 'quit' by means of running away. He worked successfully cat bugler for several years before meeting one Ginevra Thomson. She hired him, he did the job, and then they fell in love and dated for several months. Eventually, they split up, when the authorities caught onto Mildmay and began trying to arrest him once more (he'd been living in hiding from them since he killed Cerberus, but they hadn't had any information on him in a while and thus no ability to chase after him) and Mildmay decided it was too dangerous for them to stay close. They fought, and she left in a huff. Mildmay survived for a few more months as a cat burglar before he found out that Ginevra had been murdered. After which, he tried to steal from a wizard. It didn't work out so well. The wizard's name was Mavortian Von Heber, and he needed a bodyguard, as he was foreign to Marathat. Along with his servant, Bernard, they left Mélusine (the capital of Marathat/name of the first book of the series), and began the search for a mysterious man, eventually successful.
That man turned out to be Mildmay's older brother, Felix. They looked so amazingly alike that it was immediately obvious they were related the first time they met (when Mildmay was ~20 and Felix was ~27), and when they both named their shared mother, it was cemented. Felix, though, had been driven insane from a recent accident, and Mildmay was for better or worse assigned as his babysitter. But Mildmay didn't mind, and showed how much of an assassin he really wasn't, not at heart, by taking care of, nurturing and protecting his new-found older brother as best he could. Circumstance changed yet again as the company they were in split apart, and Mildmay and Felix were left to their own devices. In a rare bout of lucidity, Felix insisted that the only way to reverse his madness was to go to Troia, a far-off country. Mildmay complied.
Along the sea-voyage to reach Troia, the boat was hit by a storm and sunk. Though they both survived, Mildmay seriously injured his leg in the wreckage-- in the process of rescuing and pretty much saving the life of his brother. In Troia, Felix was cured of his madness and the brothers meet completely lucidly for the first time. Mildmay's leg could not be healed, though, his career as a cat burglar is over. He could still walk, but not as fast as normal, nor can he run, and describes the very thought of some staircases making him want to cry. He had a pronounced limp and would for the rest of his life.
Felix and Mildmay set about returning to Marathat, though, and meet one Mehitabel Parr along the way. She joined them, and they rescued Von Heber, Bernard (Von Heber's brother) and Gideon-- a friend of Felix's-- from a particularly painful death along the way, as they were at that time captured by people who kill wizards like Gideon and Von Heber.
They continued towards Marathat. Mildmay realized he couldn't do anything to support himself, now that he was permanently crippled, and with the information the authorities had on him, would inevitably catch him. He begs Felix, a wizard, to do the obligation d'âme on him-- it's a magical binding that requires Mildmay to do whatever Felix asks, but for that price, Felix must protect Mildmay from anything and everything. Felix complied, and they reached Marathat. Now sane, Felix resumed his old occupation as a wizard for the Marathine government, the Mirador, and Mildmay was safe from injury-- wizards know that Felix must protect Mildmay, and Felix is one of the more powerful wizards of his generation. But who will protect Mildmay from Felix?
...Nobody. Felix eventually got Really Pissed Off and sent Mildmay on something a little safer than a suicide mission: he ordered Mildmay to kill a blood witch. Mildmay was (surprisingly) successful, but in the process he was kidnapped by Malkar, the wizard who drove Felix insane in the first place. Mildmay was tortured to the point that he wasn't crazy, just completely insensible (he's described as acting like a wild, angry animal). After several months, Felix and company saved him, though Von Heber died in the process. Malkar was killed. They returned to The Mirador, and Mildmay begins the slow road to recovery, though he's never quite the same, becomming more quiet and introverted than he already was.
They live in Relative Peace inside the confines of The Mirador, and Mildmay continues to be painfully subservient to Felix, though they also have a lot of fights, largely because Felix... likes picking fights with people. They're brothers and they love each other, yes, but Felix is incredibly extroverted, while Mildmay is introverted to the same extent. They've never known each other except in the last three years, and while they understand each other (mostly) they occasionally have difficulty actually getting along.
Political turmoil struck once more in the Mirador and something Very Unfortunate (and fatal) happened to Gideon, who was at that point romantically involved with Felix. Felix got very angry in turn and purposefully drove the perpetrator of this crime insane with magic-- a high crime in the book of The Mirador. For this, Felix was exiled. Because Mildmay was bound to Felix, he has to go, too.
And that's when he's plucked from the long road between Marathat and Corambis right smack dab into the middle of Luceti.
Personality:
If you counted self-esteem in numbers, Mildmay has a negative nine thousand. He actively hates himself, and thinks he's a monster for killing all the people that he has, and doesn't expect people to like him. Because of this, he doesn't try to be pleasing or nice to other people, expecting that no matter what he does, no one will like him. It's a vicious cycle, I know.
To an outsider, he's extremely quiet and impassive, ashamed of a giant scar on his face that he received (in a knife-fight) in early youth; he thinks he's hideous-looking, combined with the fact that the scar isn't really a good thing to have if you want to not stick out, a key ability for an assassin. Mildmay also has bright red hair, a strikingly odd feature in Marathat, making him stick out even more. These two traits have bled into each other and resulted in a deep suspicion of being paid attention, and a deeper hatred of being in the center of it; he's very skilled at blending in, in spite of his physical appearance.
He isn't talkative, he's taciturn to the point of being occasionally monosyllabic, he doesn't often do introspection, not questioning why he does something or what his motivations are, though after he makes a decision, he will understand why he did it. He has an intrinsic understanding of his own mind, to the point where it becomes a weakness; with few exceptions, he doesn't question himself, his actions or his motivations, until it's too late.
Mildmay knows very well who he is and what his place is in the world, but he hates that person and he hates that place. He doesn't strive to change because he sees no way around it, nor does he even acknowledge that he dislikes himself. He'll just automatically assume that most people really dislike being around him or hate him from the start. He has a great deal of difficulty believing when people tell him differently, or compliment him.
People do compliment him occasionally, though, because is is fairly intelligent. However, he cannot view this as 'real', always dismissing compliments as misguided or ill-meant. All of Mildmay's skills were learned for the art of swift murder; Mildmay does not view them as good things, regardless of whether he is using them benignly.
On that note, though, he dearly hates being insulted, because it just backs up that he's the kind of person who he thinks he is: the type who deserves to be insulted. Depending on the person insulting, he'll either react in anger or just walk away. Okay, not walk. Limp.
For all that Mildmay blends into the wall and doesn't talk, he's become a passive observer of the world. Given enough time, he can very readily understand others, often because he talks so little, he just lets other people talk and talk and talk, and learns a lot about them from the exchange. He's very empathic and kind, but won't express this in any outward way unless he has to.
Mildmay also loves children and is naturally good with them. He doesn't play with them or anything, but tells them stories and treats them intelligently and generally, kids love him. He's a firm believer in preserving innocence.
He also loves his brother. He really really does. When Felix was insane, and Mildmay had to take care of him, he describes any time when Felix was happy and felt safe with him as the best time of his life. He only wants to be by Felix, good or bad, even when Felix returned to sanity and his admittedly rotten personality along with it. Mildmay will do anything anything anything for Felix.
So Mildmay understands other people, but not himself, loves the brother who treats him like shit, and thinks he should be treated like shit, but hates being treated like shit and hates people who perpetuate that treatment.
Mildmay... he's complicated.
Strengths:
Physically, Mildmay is a very excellent knife fighter (as is evidenced by his... entire childhood, and several references in Mélusine, most notably by his habit of doing knife-tricks when he's thinking, as seen when he visits Margot and her Badgers). He cannot fight with sword nor lance nor spear, but give him a butterfly knife and he knows his business. And he is very businesslike about death and pain, as he was a trained assassin. He will kill emotionlessly, quickly (if he can help it) and methodically. He has only ever been caught once, when he was simply maneuvered by one of the most powerful wizards in the entire series (when Malkar caught him at Porphyria's house near the end of The Virtu). Mind you, not outmatched by that wizard; no magic was used against Mildmay until he was caught in a purely strategic trap.
So Mildmay was an assassin, and a damn good one, too. He is very good at killing people, stealing (as his past profession as a cat burglar can attest, as seen through the first half of Mélusine), lock-picking (seen when he breaks Gideon and Von Heber out of prison, and notes that old locks are more difficult to break than newer more technologically advanced ones, since old locks are rusty and don't respond to picking as well), blending into a crowd (as seen in the crowd scenes in Mélusine), playing cards (as referenced in Mélusine, when he says he doesn't like playing cards for money, and seen in Corambis, when he does just that in order to financially support his brother and himself), et cetera. The things you can expect an assassin/cat burglar to be good at, he is fairly good at, with lying being the big exception. Mildmay, like his brother, cannot lie worth shit, in action, word or intent. This is seen just about... every time he talks to Mehitabel in The Mirador. Try as he might to obscure his intentions from her, she sees through him every time. His brother does, too, and he's about as observant as a brick at the best of times.
Moving on, Mildmay's also got the neigh-unexplained ability to Never Get Lost, not even in a maze or a (drumroll) labyrinth. Due to his brother's amazing ability to Get Lost Constantly, Mildmay has in all likelihood been afforded this ability by the great and cosmic powers that control Thematic Irony.
Oh, and he's one of the three characters in the entire story who can swim, which he displays several times, most notably when he jumped into a huge river in order to save his brother's life in The Virtu. Like most necessary life skills, Felix lacks the ability to swim where Mildmay hones it whenever possible.
Emotionally, Mildmay is incredibly empathic, able to read people easily. He's no Sherlock Holmes, he can't tell where you were born by shaking your hand, but he can judge the things important to him in other people: their social class, their intelligence, their relative innocence, and their potential threat level. For example, the first time we meet Mehitabel, she introduces herself as a governess. Mildmay immediately confides in the narration, she was something, alright, but she wasn't no governess. Turns out he was right. He is similarly able to figure out Gideon would do anything for Felix before anyone else did (which, in this scenario, basically means he figured out Gideon was in love with Felix by the second time he'd met Gideon and Felix). He figured out Bernard and Von Heber were brothers 'or something' after a week in their presence. In his defense, the reason it took him a whole week was because he was nearly dying of the flu at the time.
Despite having no formal education whatsoever, Mildmay is very good with rote memorization, numbers, mathematics (applied, not hypothetical; so, like, multiplication and division, not physics), history and puzzles. His favorite hobbies are looking at maps (as seen in the early part of The Virtu, where Felix-- who is about as observant as a brick, have I mentioned?-- finds maps specifically for Mildmay to toy with, later parts of Mélusine, where iliterate Mildmay navigates three countries, two of which he's never set foot in before, with the use of three maps and his own wit, and in Corambis, where he does the same thing again, save in a different direction and with a donkey named Rosalind) and pricing objects in his head to see what they'd sell for on the open market (as seen largely in the early parts of Mélusine, since he doesn't have need to price things anymore after he can't steal things any longer. But he was no kleptomaniac then, he just liked to price everything he set eyes on to keep him sharp).
He knows almost the entire history of Marathat's royal family, as he recounts several times throughout the books, most notably when explaining things to Gideon and Mehitabel in The Mirador, due to the fact that neither Gideon nor Mehitabel were Marathine in origin. He tells the history while standing alongside someone who was actually a scholar on Marathine history, and manages to keep up with his explanations despite, again, having no formal education in the matter. Though to be fair, he only knows the colloquial stories, knowing several monarchs only by their epithets, and had to talk to the scholar (which he hated) several time to get his facts precisely straight to both their standards.
He can count out money with great proficiency, is a wonderful storyteller (when he's in the rare mood to be social enough to tell stories at all-- like in The Virtu to little Florian on the White Otter) and is really amazing with getting out of traps, both mechanical and social (as seen in his escape from Aiaia-- done with a lame leg and two malnourished wizards in tow-- in the early parts of The Virtu, and his escape from Malkar in the later parts of the same book).
Weaknesses:
Mildmay is a skilled killer, with a huge amount of physical prowess all honed towards the art of perpetuating crimes, robbing people of their property and/or their lives.
...Mind you, with his morals, personality and leg being the way that they now are, Mildmay will rarely utilize these skills, either because he can’t or because he won’t. These days, the skill he relies on most is reading people-- something he’s very good at, seeing as he is most often a passive observer, even in his own life. He doesn’t spend much thinking time on himself, so he’s free to pick up, watch and understand other people.
This came to a head at the end of The Mirador, where he refused to kill a man even though he'd been magically compelled to do so; he was only able to resist due to sheer force of will. Afterwards, because he failed to kill this man, he is more-less exiled from the only home he's ever known. However, Mildmay shows no remorse for his action, and in fact seems quite proud of himself for resisting the call towards murder. He is staunchly opposed to killing at this point in time, and to a lesser extent, he is opposed to violence of any kind. This renders a huge chunk of his skills nill. Add that to his bum leg, and he's much less formidable than he seems; the only skills he has are based in the abilities of his mind, which are things he has no confidence in.
Physical handicap aside, Mildmay also has a mental handicap. He's been told he's stupid-- by his Keeper, by the bourgeois, by his brother and friends-- so often that he believes it. He may have uncanny skill in mathematics, but he is unable to fully utilize his innate skill to its full extent, due to the unshakable belief that he cannot really be that smart. He will always stop himself from using his skills to their full extent.
But he does have a very real mathematical skill. He can add and subtract with ease, as seen whenever he's left to handle his and Felix's finances (Mélusine on the way to Troia, The Virtu on the way back, and in Corambis, where he becomes convinced unshakably that if anything happens to him they'll be short on cash... which is exactly what happens. He is able to manage their finances by playing cards up to the point where he becomes deathly ill, though).
Innate skills aside, Mildmay lacks learned skills in spades. From the point in canon I am taking him, he is illiterate (though he could hypothetically learn how, as is seen in the book that takes place after when I'm taking him, Corambis), and has no practice navigating more scholarly subjects like psychology or philosophy. This isn't because (despite what he thinks) he's stupid, it's because he's never had a formal education and is thus unpracticed at thinking in such a fashion. Higher concepts escape him not because he is too dim to grasp them, but because he doesn't know how to properly hold the subjects in his mind, having no prior experience doing so. For this reason among others, he cannot keep up with Gideon and Felix's conversations in The Virtu until they talk about something besides theoretical magical physics and maybe wander into the territories Mildmay is better acquainted with (~MARATHINE HISTORY TIME~).
Lastly, Mildmay is also inclined towards sickness. He is by no means innately sickly, but when he gets a cold, he gets a serious flu that leaves him completely bedridden for upwards of a month. This is seen in Mélusine, where it enables Von Heber to keep him in his hotel where usually he would not have the facilities to do so against Mildmay's will, and in Corambis, where Mildmay becomes so sick that Felix has to turn to prostitution in order to get the money to get a doctor (did I mention these books are melodramatic as shit? Because they are).
Samples
First Person:
Y'all ever heard this one? About Septimus Octavian and his angels? That's a good one; my friend Jeanie Crosser used to love it. She liked the idea of men with wings in their backs. Me, I always reckoned that sounded painful as all bugfuck. Turns out I'm right. Somewhere, she owes me quarter-gorgon. 'Spose it don't matter, now.
'Spose probably she's dead.
So Septimus Octavian was an evil, stupid motherfucker of a man who lived in the time of kings before the hocus' cabal. He lived before you or I had ever lived or any folk gave a flying fuck about some Teverii bastards. That's how old this story is. Really goddamn old. So Septimus Octavian was a stupid fuck, so greedy his eyes had turned always-green. Some folk says everyone who got green eyes is his son or daughter's daughter's son or son's daughter.
Me, for my sake, I hope not.
Septimus Octavian wasn't greedy for just gold and jewels and the like, though. The thing he wanted more'n anything else was his wife's every thought. To him, if she did anything asides from thinking of him all fucking day, day out and day in, it was as good as if she'd fucked some merchantman down from Havelock. He was a fucking stupid bastard, like I said.
Septimus' wife was named Nona Decima. She was the nicest little lady you never seen, not too tall and plenty round, with a big smile on her face all the times of the day.
Septimus' favorite thing to do was to capture rare beauties and show 'em to Nona and try and get her to love him that way. She never loved him, though. Dunno why she married him, she probably could've done better. Most folk could've done better than Septimus fucking Octavius. So one day he goes and he says, hey, Nona, I got something you'll like to see. And Nona, sweet tempered and all, goes down to his dark dank basement to see whatever treasures he's gotten his grubby hands on this time.
And there there it is, an angel, which is a naked man with big grey wings on his back, like Phi-Kethetin was making a roc and was making a man and forgot not to connect 'em. And dear sweet Nona Decima thought he was the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen, like out of a painting or maybe a tapestry I guess, since this was a long time ago and all.
And this angel, this fucking beautiful angel with perfect eyes and skin and wings, he's chained to the ground and weeping. Why are you weeping, says Nona, and the angel tries to answer, but Septimus starts beating him afores he can get a word out. Nona's a smart girl, though, and she figures it out. You gots to have wings like that for flying, but all chained up, the angel ain't gonna be able to manage it.
So later that night, Nona sneaks back down and frees him, and he thanks her and kisses her face and says they can run away together. But no, no, Nona says, she gotta stay there, she has to be a good wife, all kind and careful, that's all she knows how to do.
Now, in some versions of the story I heard, the angel says Nona can be his wife, and she agrees, and off they go, never to see Septimus again.
Other versions, she says being married to two men is a sin, and she ain't sinful, so back she goes and in the morning, Septimus realizes his angel is gone and he goes and finds Nona and strangles her in her bed.
Either way, I don't trust these fucking wings.
Third Person:
"What's you're name, then?" The barkeep says in a voice that suggests he certainly ain't flash. Then again, what the fuck does flash matter, here? Stitch yourself up, Milly-Fox, cause you're falling apart.
Mildmay answers in as harmless voice as possible. Fucking hilarious, that is. Or, as Zephyr would've said, ironic. Mildmay never quite learned what that word meant exactly, but he thinks it would've fit right in with this circus, here. "Gilroi," Mildmay says, and the barkeep raises his eyebrow like he knows shit when he smells it. Which'd make him smarter than Mildmay on a good day, Mildmay wagers. Still can't fucking lie worth the ground you piss on, Milly-fox? "Mildmay."
"Gilroi Mildmay," The barkeep says, all no-fucking-way. Mildmay's off his game. He lowers his head, slightly, letting some hair drift in front of the awful mess of skin he calls a face.
If he was the honest type, Mildmay'd say he done fucked up, right about now.
Mildmay is the honest type, who's he fucking kidding?
"Yeah," Mildmay says, and the barkeep's eyes are just about to roll right the fuck outta his head. Still, they both keep going along with it, like they both don't know the big fat juicy lie they're telling themselves. Cause no one's fooling the other one. Mildmay knows barkeeps too well, and this motherfucker knows a liar when he sees one.
Fellows of a disreputable sort, Felix'd say.
The less thought about Felix, the better. Either cause whenever Mildmay thinks about Felix, he wants to stab something (or himself, or Felix) or because whenever he thinks about Felix, he wants to cry. Neither option's really a good idea, right now, Mildmay reckons.
Stitch yourself together, Milly-fox.
Mildmay's wings ache, and ain't that the most hilarious motherfucking thing anyone ever heard. The only thing farther from an angel than Mildmay the Fox is a dead Mildmay the Fox.
Ironic, that is.
"So, why d'you want a bartending job," the barkeep says, finally, after he's done giving Mildmay the hairiest eyeball he's ever seen outside of the Lower City itself. Mildmay sniffles a bit, trying to look like he knows his business in a world like this, where nothing makes proper sense and all his familiar dreams are nightmares at best.
Just like home, really.
The barkeep keeps on talking. "You know there's no money, here, right? Someone's told you?"
And ain't that just the most condescending thing.
"Need something to do," Mildmay says. "I ain't the like that can just sit around."
"Are you, then?" The barkeep shrugs, and goes back to his business behind the bar. "I'll call you if there's an opening."
Mildmay is pretty sure he's being fed a line of the very politest bullshit. He's also sure he's being given a polite way to walk on out the door before either of them embarrass themselves more. Respectively speaking, of course.
Like the kicked dog Mildmay is, he rolls over and takes what's given him. "Thank you kindly," he says as he limps on out the door, into a city far more alien than any he's ever encountered before.