The Boys of Summer
Dearest Cross-Eyed One (Han Geng),
Well finally you deign write back to us little people here. I was beginning to think you’ve eschewed the lot of us viciously in favour of a Chinese nudist colony (APPARENTLY THEY’RE ALL OVER THE PLACE IF KANGIN IS TO BE BELIEVED).
Also, I don’t see how I’m to blame for your current cross-eyed condition or Eunhyuk’s tragic fall for that matter which, by the way, he was completely deserving of (MY PANTS RIDICULOUS INDEED).Wasn’t I the one who begged you to stay and secretly hid away all your good underwear?
“What about your unstable and volatile relationship with things that explode?” I asked you then, obviously recalling your many failed attempts at a science project. THERE ARE STILL STAINS ON THE CEILING, YOU PRICK. Cleaned them, you said. What a fool you must take me for.
“What about it?” You asked me unwittingly.
“Well you’re going to the land of firecrackers, you nut, what do you think is going to happen?” I said and you snorted (unattractively) and laughed it off like it was nothing and so you see now where your devil-may-care ways have gotten you.
Which is somewhere between permanently squinty and half-blind apparently.
Shame on you, you non-believer you. I’ll have you know that them trampolines have saved our Kangin’s neck. It may have come at the cost of that funny-looking 4000 year old vase but IT DID SAVE A PRECIOUS LIFE.
If anyone asks (i.e., YOUR MOTHER), its pieces are not shoved under your rug or anything of the sort.
And besides, what are you doing with a vase that old anyway? It’s not like you actually use it for anything. No one is even allowed to touch it because it’s so freaking ancient. Get a new one, I say.
Oh and by the way, Papa Han came home! You never told us he used to be a martial arts instructor. It would’ve been a really cool thing to mention in the decades we’ve known each other so that at the very least, I could’ve hurled myself out of the window, dragging Kangin with me and leaving Kyuhyun to fend for himself, when he came a-hollering about “male bonding” and “manly-type activities”, etc, etc instead of going all “HEY THAT SOUNDS LIKE FUUUUUUUN.” and following him to the training room where we proceeded to get the crap beaten out of our hides by his favourite student.
Who is, incidentally, Sungmin.
Who is, by the way, a girl
As of now, Kangin is contemplating throwing himself off the balcony again because surely Sungmin will tell Leeteuk and they will inevitably share a moment of loud, hooting laughter over how we hit like 5-year old girls and then where will he be once his macho image gets pulverized? I didn’t know he had one of those either, Geng.
“You’ve got it good, Heenim” Kangin just told me woefully. “Everyone thinks you’re a prissy flower boy anyway.”
That does it. Let’s see who the flower boy is after I stick this pen in his eye.
As for your brother, he and Sungmin have been at it for a good 5 minutes now. Didn’t know your brother had it in him but he’s pretty good at slipping away at just the right time and WAIT, he’s down-OOOH, THEY’RE BOTH DOWN-hit that, no not THAT, HOLY CRAP SHE NEARLY KICKED HIM IN THE-okay good-straddle her dammit STRADDLE HER-
DAMN FREAKING DOORBELL, STOP RINGING.
Your Spicy Ramen,
Kim Heechul
PS: DAMN YOU, HAN GENG, I WARNED YOU ABOUT THAT KNOCKING BUSINESS. I SWEAR TO BUDDHA I AM GOING TO SEND YOU A TRUCKLOAD OF DUMPLINGS AND YOU ARE GOING TO EAT EVERY SINGLE ONE YOU HEAR ME? YOU DID NOT GO TO CHINA TO TURN INTO AN EMACIATED SKELETON.
PPS: OPENED THE DOOR AND FOUND TWO FACES GRINNING MANIACALLY AT ME.
PPPS: UNFORTUNATELY, THIS ISN’T A HALLUCINATION. IT REALLY IS EUNHYUK AND DONGHAE.
PPPPS: SLAMMING THE DOOR. LET’S PRETEND THAT NEVER HAPPENED.
PPPPPS: FUCK, I HAD FORGOTTEN ABOUT THAT OTHER DOOR.
---
I'm an awful updater and I'm sooooooo very sorry. I haven't updated The China Travelogue in weeks either. LOL. XD College is keeping me busy and it will only make me busier in the following weeks. On other news, I assisted in a delivery (the baby kind)! Was awesome and not dramatic at all. THE MOVIES LIE.
Lemme know what you think BBs! ^^ AND YES, EUNHYUK AND DONGHAE IN THE BUILDING! *bounces*
Well finally you deign write back to us little people here. I was beginning to think you’ve eschewed the lot of us viciously in favour of a Chinese nudist colony (APPARENTLY THEY’RE ALL OVER THE PLACE IF KANGIN IS TO BE BELIEVED).
Also, I don’t see how I’m to blame for your current cross-eyed condition or Eunhyuk’s tragic fall for that matter which, by the way, he was completely deserving of (MY PANTS RIDICULOUS INDEED).Wasn’t I the one who begged you to stay and secretly hid away all your good underwear?
“What about your unstable and volatile relationship with things that explode?” I asked you then, obviously recalling your many failed attempts at a science project. THERE ARE STILL STAINS ON THE CEILING, YOU PRICK. Cleaned them, you said. What a fool you must take me for.
“What about it?” You asked me unwittingly.
“Well you’re going to the land of firecrackers, you nut, what do you think is going to happen?” I said and you snorted (unattractively) and laughed it off like it was nothing and so you see now where your devil-may-care ways have gotten you.
Which is somewhere between permanently squinty and half-blind apparently.
Shame on you, you non-believer you. I’ll have you know that them trampolines have saved our Kangin’s neck. It may have come at the cost of that funny-looking 4000 year old vase but IT DID SAVE A PRECIOUS LIFE.
If anyone asks (i.e., YOUR MOTHER), its pieces are not shoved under your rug or anything of the sort.
And besides, what are you doing with a vase that old anyway? It’s not like you actually use it for anything. No one is even allowed to touch it because it’s so freaking ancient. Get a new one, I say.
Oh and by the way, Papa Han came home! You never told us he used to be a martial arts instructor. It would’ve been a really cool thing to mention in the decades we’ve known each other so that at the very least, I could’ve hurled myself out of the window, dragging Kangin with me and leaving Kyuhyun to fend for himself, when he came a-hollering about “male bonding” and “manly-type activities”, etc, etc instead of going all “HEY THAT SOUNDS LIKE FUUUUUUUN.” and following him to the training room where we proceeded to get the crap beaten out of our hides by his favourite student.
Who is, incidentally, Sungmin.
Who is, by the way, a girl
As of now, Kangin is contemplating throwing himself off the balcony again because surely Sungmin will tell Leeteuk and they will inevitably share a moment of loud, hooting laughter over how we hit like 5-year old girls and then where will he be once his macho image gets pulverized? I didn’t know he had one of those either, Geng.
“You’ve got it good, Heenim” Kangin just told me woefully. “Everyone thinks you’re a prissy flower boy anyway.”
That does it. Let’s see who the flower boy is after I stick this pen in his eye.
As for your brother, he and Sungmin have been at it for a good 5 minutes now. Didn’t know your brother had it in him but he’s pretty good at slipping away at just the right time and WAIT, he’s down-OOOH, THEY’RE BOTH DOWN-hit that, no not THAT, HOLY CRAP SHE NEARLY KICKED HIM IN THE-okay good-straddle her dammit STRADDLE HER-
DAMN FREAKING DOORBELL, STOP RINGING.
Your Spicy Ramen,
Kim Heechul
PS: DAMN YOU, HAN GENG, I WARNED YOU ABOUT THAT KNOCKING BUSINESS. I SWEAR TO BUDDHA I AM GOING TO SEND YOU A TRUCKLOAD OF DUMPLINGS AND YOU ARE GOING TO EAT EVERY SINGLE ONE YOU HEAR ME? YOU DID NOT GO TO CHINA TO TURN INTO AN EMACIATED SKELETON.
PPS: OPENED THE DOOR AND FOUND TWO FACES GRINNING MANIACALLY AT ME.
PPPS: UNFORTUNATELY, THIS ISN’T A HALLUCINATION. IT REALLY IS EUNHYUK AND DONGHAE.
PPPPS: SLAMMING THE DOOR. LET’S PRETEND THAT NEVER HAPPENED.
PPPPPS: FUCK, I HAD FORGOTTEN ABOUT THAT OTHER DOOR.
---
I'm an awful updater and I'm sooooooo very sorry. I haven't updated The China Travelogue in weeks either. LOL. XD College is keeping me busy and it will only make me busier in the following weeks. On other news, I assisted in a delivery (the baby kind)! Was awesome and not dramatic at all. THE MOVIES LIE.
Lemme know what you think BBs! ^^ AND YES, EUNHYUK AND DONGHAE IN THE BUILDING! *bounces*