Small revelation

[ohmyqueen]

With the help of a trusted therapist I begin to unravel part of my grief over Kenny's death. The truth is I do feel taht I failed Kenny, and I'll probably always feel that way. I was his mother; it was my job to keep him safe, and that didn't work out so well. In some ways I feel like I've been fired. Yes, I wept about the living Kenny's injury

Comments

[lyonesse]

...as the lady said in the comic book, kenny got what everybody gets: a lifetime.

thanks to you, his was a dearly-loved, well-cared-for lifetime. my impression is that you (and he) always did your very best by one another.

can't ask for more, though it's surely hard not to wish for it....

*hugs if you'll have 'em*

[dreams_of_wings]

Mom--you didn't fail Kenny. The medical and legal establishments did. Various father-types did. Our society did, on many levels. But you did not. I love you and I'm proud of you and I'm proud of us for doing our best by him. I have questions too, but they don't negate my feeling that we DID do our best.

Maybe think about it this way: if Kenny had been healthy and had died in a motorcycle accident some part of you would probably still feel that you had failed him, but it would be a lot easier for you, down the line, to see that feeling as irrational, even if it is inevitable.

I love you. I'm not trying to tell you to not feel how you feel. You have to experience this before you can move through it. But don't let these feelings become the Only Truth of Kenny's life, ok?