Commitment Phobia: Why So Many TV Characters Run from Love 💔🏃

[theemii]

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Some characters are obsessed with the idea of being in love, but then when they actually get it… they can’t seem to stop themselves from running in the opposite direction. Across film and television, so many characters are plagued by commitment issues that keep them from actually being able to settle in and enjoy the relationships they manage to

Comments

[picturemegone]

because...

[squirrels_oh_no]

Like, why do people think shows like Interview with the Vampire are so popular? WE LOVE MESS.

[artlover2788]

[daredevilwolf]

how i met your mother completely torpedoed that show with it's final episode

i have never seen such hate for a finale and then voltron came and i saw it again

and i didn't watch either shows so you know it's bad

[screamingintune]

are you afraid of commitment, ONTD? I fully admit I am to the point of just stopping dating altogether

I am committed to my friends and my dog

[squirrels_oh_no]

Given that the last guy I was super into ghosted me, I've been taking a break from people. I'm not afraid of commitment at this point as much as I am afraid of rejection. I wonder how many people get those two mixed up when viewing tv/consuming media - there is a difference IMO. If you're the one who breaks things off or you never get close, you can't get rejected!

eta I should also mention the guy who ghosted me admitted to being a commitment-phobe (he was dumped because he wouldn't propose to his GF of nine years before we started talking and I was super lonely during COVID). He then texted me 1.5 years later on my birthday. ONTD has heard much about my dealings with that ridiculous fool.

[epicdonald]

it actually took me until i was like 30 to realize that i hate commitment. i don't even like having a "permanent" job and prefer to work on a contract/project basis because i enjoy knowing that there's an end date where the job & i just part ways with no hurt feelings.

[xdecadentx]

I don't know if I'm afraid of commitment or I just don't want to compromise and I know I'd have to in a serious relationship.

I've been me for 30+ years, you're gonna struggle to get me out of where I'm comfortable.

[xdecadentx]

I feel like there's usually a commitment phobic character in TV shows cos it allows for a lot of guest characters.

[squirrels_oh_no]

Yeah, that too - you can have a red herring BF/GF for most of the season for some special guest, then get a new one the next year. And for both leads in the romantic pairing.

[xdecadentx]

GF/BFs are an easy way to bring in different characters. Siblings/parents etc need to be consistent really and friends are usually the basis of the show, so love interests give the most potential for change in a pretty static cast.

[squirrels_oh_no]

And plus, for some shows where the final pairing isn't clearly determined from the first episode, it also allows the conflict of "Who will ____ end up with?!" Especially for stuff like Gilmore Girls LOL.

[spankmypirate]

Going off the video thumbnail here - I've avoided One Day purely because I read the book/show summary on wiki. [Spoiler (click to open)] I know they don't end up together because she dies, but years before that he kept jerking her around and essentially kept her as his backup before realising "he loved her all along" and decided to marry her. I'm really sick of TV and movies selling this message to women, that the emotionally unavailable man will suddenly do a 180 and choose you unexpectedly. It's so poisonous.

[burntxtoashes]

I did enjoy the show/movie/book but yeah ia. My least favourite part is that [Spoiler (click to open)]she never got to have kids (something she wanted and that they tried for) where as he has a child with his ex-wife.

[squirrels_oh_no]

I really hate stuff like that LMAO - it makes me think of the ending to City of Angels. It's like a slap in the face to the viewer who got invested. Occasionally it works, but not often.

[spankmypirate]

It's like the writers know that such a relationship would never work out IRL so the easy way out is to [Spoiler (click to open)] kill one of them off 😵‍💫