Sam/Dean, college!Sam
anonymous
May 2 2016, 12:40:53 UTC
It's Sam's freshman year at Stanford, and all he wants to do is run home to his brother. But he made his decision and he's sticking to it...except for those nights when he gets drunk and calls Dean.
FILLED: Messy as a Secret Shared [1/3]dreamlittleyoMay 3 2016, 02:28:44 UTC
Sam has never experienced a birthday without his brother.
There are a hundred things he took for granted-maybe as many as a thousand-and month after month he's been tripping over them, one by one. His first year at Stanford has been a whirlwind of whiplash, from the excitement of new experiences to the gut-wrenching disorientation of losing every constant he's ever known. And of course the single truth underlying everything, even though there's no one he can tell: he misses Dean.
He misses Dean every single day, his brother's absence twisting like a black hole behind Sam's ribs. Easiest to ignore when he's busy, but still perpetually thereHis freshman year is almost over, and nobody on campus knows it's Sam's birthday. How can they; he hasn't told them. And even if some sullen part of Sam's brain wishes for noise and people tonight, for a roomful of his new friends to distract him, the rest of him knows better. He would be terrible company right now, and none of those things are what he really wants anyway
( ... )
FILLED: Messy as a Secret Shared [2/3]dreamlittleyoMay 3 2016, 02:29:19 UTC
"Dean," he starts, guilt in the sound of his brother's name.
"Don't," Dean cuts him off. "It's not- You don't have to explain, okay? Whatever your reasons, you got a right to 'em. You don't owe me anything." But he says it like he wishes the words weren't true.
"Why are you here, Dean?" Sam asks, only this time the question is soft and serious. He's staring at his brother's profile, willing Dean to look at him. Hating Dean's caution, his hesitation, his obvious doubt. Dean doesn't think he belongs here, and that's on Sam. Sam excised his brother from his life. Necessary or not, he still feels like shit about it
( ... )
FILLED: Messy as a Secret Shared [3/3]dreamlittleyoMay 3 2016, 02:29:47 UTC
"Is it what you want?" Sam counters, throwing the question straight back, brazenly upping the stakes. Closely as he's watching, he catches the faint widening of Dean's eyes, the guilty parting of Dean's lips. The caught-out instant before Dean tries to backpedal.
"I don't really get a vote," Dean says.
But Sam's seen everything he needs. Maybe it's still the tequila giving him courage, or maybe it's inevitability driving him. Maybe he and Dean were always bound on this exact collision course, and Sam has been denying himself too long to see it. The reason doesn't matter anyway. Sam is already moving.
This time, kissing Dean is exactly like he imagined. Dean reaches for him, frames Sam's face with strong hands as Sam climbs clumsily astride his brother's lap. Dean's mouth opens at the first pleading touch of Sam's tongue. He lets Sam take, take, take with all the desperation of a need too long restrained
( ... )
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There are a hundred things he took for granted-maybe as many as a thousand-and month after month he's been tripping over them, one by one. His first year at Stanford has been a whirlwind of whiplash, from the excitement of new experiences to the gut-wrenching disorientation of losing every constant he's ever known. And of course the single truth underlying everything, even though there's no one he can tell: he misses Dean.
He misses Dean every single day, his brother's absence twisting like a black hole behind Sam's ribs. Easiest to ignore when he's busy, but still perpetually thereHis freshman year is almost over, and nobody on campus knows it's Sam's birthday. How can they; he hasn't told them. And even if some sullen part of Sam's brain wishes for noise and people tonight, for a roomful of his new friends to distract him, the rest of him knows better. He would be terrible company right now, and none of those things are what he really wants anyway ( ... )
Reply
"Don't," Dean cuts him off. "It's not- You don't have to explain, okay? Whatever your reasons, you got a right to 'em. You don't owe me anything." But he says it like he wishes the words weren't true.
"Why are you here, Dean?" Sam asks, only this time the question is soft and serious. He's staring at his brother's profile, willing Dean to look at him. Hating Dean's caution, his hesitation, his obvious doubt. Dean doesn't think he belongs here, and that's on Sam. Sam excised his brother from his life. Necessary or not, he still feels like shit about it ( ... )
Reply
"I don't really get a vote," Dean says.
But Sam's seen everything he needs. Maybe it's still the tequila giving him courage, or maybe it's inevitability driving him. Maybe he and Dean were always bound on this exact collision course, and Sam has been denying himself too long to see it. The reason doesn't matter anyway. Sam is already moving.
This time, kissing Dean is exactly like he imagined. Dean reaches for him, frames Sam's face with strong hands as Sam climbs clumsily astride his brother's lap. Dean's mouth opens at the first pleading touch of Sam's tongue. He lets Sam take, take, take with all the desperation of a need too long restrained ( ... )
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