(no subject)
What the hell is security? How does one achieve security? How do we know when we've achieved security? I don't know the answer to any of the aforementioned questions, and I'm not going to pretend like some cheap messiah to know either. I worry about security and myself. I crave security. I want it. I need it. I don't have any certain securities in any form of my life. I'm not secure in how I look. In how I act. In how I speak. I'm not secure in other forms of things. I'm worried all the time about losing my girlfriend. I fear that I'm not good enough all the time. I fear that she'll go off me because I'm not good enough. I love her. I can say that with my hand over my heart, and say in all honesty, that I love her. Thus she means more to me than just some random girlfriend. She means more to me than anything. And now is the point where I trail off because I've run out of self-righteous indignation and curiousity. Eef. So I trail off. I've run out of steam and I've lost my point. Kate has come online and I am distracted. Seriously, as sucky as this sounds, love is a fucking powerful thing.