Ficlet
For Mad and Molly, and anyone else who likes to read Benvis. Posting in Merlin's journal... just because he's the char that knows the two of them best? And he's mentioned for 2 seconds? So there you go!
"He just said he wants to see me? That's it?" Avis asked, wringing her hands slightly as Merlin Flanagan sprawled himself out on one of the common room's sofas.
"Tha's righ'! He was starin' at me shirt all barmy an' when I asked him what was wrong... tha's when he sent me t'get ye," Merry informed her with a shrug of his shoulders. Though he knew the two had been fighting more than ever recently, he'd not considered this particular cooling-off period to be any different from the rest. Avis, however, was convinced that this was it. Ben was finally going to tell her that he couldn't deal with her constant cries for attention, her pleas for him to open up a bit more, her general overall mardyness. Perhaps he'd throw in a stomach pudge insult for good measure. She wasn't sure she could handle losing her best mate at the moment.
"If I apologize before he can talk, do you think he'll just... forget that..." Avis asked Merry, completely clueless as to how she should finish her question and why she should even care. So what if Ben thought she was a whiney, freckly, annoying sixth year? He was... well, he started it! Whatever it was they were mad about, that is. While she wanted to keep her angry face on, give him the cold shoulder, she knew her eyes were wide and fearful as she looked to Merry for answers.
"Wha'? I don' t'ink he's angry wit ye, lass. He was puttin' on the Temptations when I was leavin'," Merry stated with a snort of laughter, waving his hand to encourage her to move forward.
Avis wasn't entirely sure what was a good sign anymore. Ben could put on records to release his anger, to help him deal with stress, or even (if Avis was lucky) to build up the courage to admit he had been wrong. Or, if things were really as terrible as she was anticipating, to build up the courage to insist he had been right and to tell her their friendship was over.
Deep breaths. Avis Abernathy needed to take deep breaths in order to trudge up the staircase to the seventh year boys' dorm. She sighed as she neared the door, closing her eyes as lyrics drifted out around her - seemingly attempting to slap her in the face with irony.
'I know you wanna leave me, but I refuse to let you go...'
"Please tell me I'm still your Gams!" Avis exclaimed as Ben pulled open the door. Surprised by the unusual greeting, Ben's lips pursed together as his face contorted in confusion. Even though Avis was unaware of the reason for his sending for her, he was convinced she was trying to make everything harder for him. He took note of the new freckle above her right eye before softening his expression.
"Of course you're still my Gams! No matter how many times I tell you.... you persist with asking," Ben stated with a sigh and a shy smile. He stepped aside to let Avis enter, rubbing at the back of his neck awkwardly.
"Well sorry for showing concern! I forgot I'm not allowed!" Avis retorted as she brushed past him and into the room. Not exactly the best reaction for a girl ready to beg forgiveness, but at least the reasons for fighting had been remembered. Apparently it was unacceptable to tell Ben Connelly one was worried about him.
"Avis, I'm not your only friend here," he had said before, lighting a chocolate cigarette and blowing off her 'what if's.
"Thank Merlin for that! Would be pointless to be close to someone who gets all... iffy over everything!" she had spat back, turning on her heel and leaving him behind. Too many times they'd had the same discussion. Once after he'd been hit on by a fifth year, once after she'd mentioned a fit bloke she'd met over the summer, and always with the same conclusion. Ben held her close and claimed he would never do so again for fear of appearing weak, Avis would argue he owed her a mind blowing shag, and neither questioned why so many nothings had gotten out of control.
Now they were back in the same routine, though Avis Abernathy considered herself doomed to be an ex-best mate and Ben Connelly was shakily turning off the record player.
"You're right, you shouldn't be allowed to worry," Ben remarked, shuffling over to his bed and staring at the floor as he sat down.
"You see? That's confusing, Ben! If you'd just say what you mean I wouldn't take things the wrong way! Why shouldn't I be allowed to worry?" Avis asked, frowning as her hair began to frizz. It was too difficult to focus on managing it, so she let it go as she joined him on the edge of the bed.
"Bloody - Avis, I'm trying," Ben responded, placing a hand to his temple for a moment. Avis remained quiet, biting her lip as she watched him. So much for asking for forgiveness before he could speak.
"You shouldn't worry because I'm not going anywhere," he continued, trying to clear up his meaning. For once Avis didn't come back with a hypothetical situation. It was best to accept that for now he was here, at least to avoid another fight.
"I'm sorry, Ben. I'm just... being mardy. I know you're... not leaving," Avis said after a moment, shifting closer to him. She debated giving him a hug, but her hands remained in her lap. She'd not heard why he'd wanted to see her. It could still end up being he wanted to end their friendship and was taking the long route to get to his point.
"No, I'm not. And I've been thinking... we've been fighting a lot, Av. It's not... helping me figure things out exactly," Ben stated, running a hand through his hair.
Avis wanted to hate that move, or so she would call it if they were playing their game... which they weren't. She wanted to get fed up and storm out, or challenge him, but she had no idea what was going on. So, she decided to seriously loathe the curtains instead, glaring at them as she folded her arms over her chest.
"What do you need to figure out?" she asked, biting her lip again to keep herself from crying. Ben would have panicked had he been watching her. Fortunately, he was very intent on tying his shoes.
"I've never been good at this, Av. I've never been able to be there for you like you want me to be. So I've always told myself that you couldn't depend on me and we couldn't be close," Ben explained, looking everywhere but at her. He considered turning the record player back on to drown out the silence, but Avis's jaw returned to its normal spot eventually.
"You can't make all the decisions, Ben! I'm in this friendship too. What if I want to be close? If I want to be close and you want to be close, that's it!" Avis fumed, punching him in the shoulder to get him to look at her.
"Our view of close might be... different right now. It's not that easy, Av, you don't get it," Ben argued, snorting with frustration. He hardly knew what he was talking about. He knew why he was picking fights with her. The problem was that he didn't think she would believe him.
"Tell me! I'll get it if you tell me, please!" Avis begged, lip quivering slightly. Her mind couldn't choose between anger and fear, love and hate. Her hand shot out to grasp his arm before she knew what she was doing.
"I guess... I guess I could show you, but you'd... have to understand something first," he told her nervously, wincing as she grabbed his arm.
Avis's eyes filled with horror. Was he hiding a dark mark? Was he hiding some other friend under his bed? Hell, was he hiding that he was a... squib or a muggle... or.. something? The anxiety was driving her mad. She had to know!
"What?" she asked simply, weary eyes resting on his for a brief moment.
Ben shifted, face slightly pink as their eyes met. Taking a deep breath, he moved closer - placing a hand on her shoulder.
"I am not Jude Law," he stated as calm as possible, given the circumstances.
"Well, of course you aren't, but wha-" Avis started to say, but Ben stopped her with his lips, hand reaching up to cup her face gently. Avis squeaked with surprise, eyes growing wider before they snapped shut. Part of her was screaming that all of this was absurd, but it was violently attacked by the other part of her that agreed this was not Jude Law and she liked it that way. As hard as it was for her to admit that somehow, sometime in the past few months she'd started fancying Ben Connelly of all people, her hands flew to his face in mere seconds as she deepened the kiss.
"I said I'm not a ruddy actor, Avis!" Ben grunted as he pulled back suddenly, not trusting that he'd gotten his point across.
Avis blinked at him for a moment or two, lips still slightly parted and heart racing. They wouldn't make the perfect couple. They would fight, he'd hurt her feelings, she'd scare him by caring, he'd never show affection if anyone but her was around, and yet? She was perfectly happy to know that he was not sodding Jude Law (er, which she would regret thinking later as Jude Law was still marvy and abfab even if he weren't Ben) and he had kissed her. Not to prank Merlin as had been the idea the year before, not to win their game of suggestion and... moves, but just because he wanted to! He wanted to kiss her and she wanted to kiss him and they were kissing in his dorm!
"I know! You don't have to be so iffy about it!" Avis stated, rolling her eyes and pressing her lips to his once more. Ben smiled into her kiss, wrapping an arm around her and pulling her close. Well, as long as they agreed on something... it was a start.
Erm... YAY?!
♥ Ferin
"He just said he wants to see me? That's it?" Avis asked, wringing her hands slightly as Merlin Flanagan sprawled himself out on one of the common room's sofas.
"Tha's righ'! He was starin' at me shirt all barmy an' when I asked him what was wrong... tha's when he sent me t'get ye," Merry informed her with a shrug of his shoulders. Though he knew the two had been fighting more than ever recently, he'd not considered this particular cooling-off period to be any different from the rest. Avis, however, was convinced that this was it. Ben was finally going to tell her that he couldn't deal with her constant cries for attention, her pleas for him to open up a bit more, her general overall mardyness. Perhaps he'd throw in a stomach pudge insult for good measure. She wasn't sure she could handle losing her best mate at the moment.
"If I apologize before he can talk, do you think he'll just... forget that..." Avis asked Merry, completely clueless as to how she should finish her question and why she should even care. So what if Ben thought she was a whiney, freckly, annoying sixth year? He was... well, he started it! Whatever it was they were mad about, that is. While she wanted to keep her angry face on, give him the cold shoulder, she knew her eyes were wide and fearful as she looked to Merry for answers.
"Wha'? I don' t'ink he's angry wit ye, lass. He was puttin' on the Temptations when I was leavin'," Merry stated with a snort of laughter, waving his hand to encourage her to move forward.
Avis wasn't entirely sure what was a good sign anymore. Ben could put on records to release his anger, to help him deal with stress, or even (if Avis was lucky) to build up the courage to admit he had been wrong. Or, if things were really as terrible as she was anticipating, to build up the courage to insist he had been right and to tell her their friendship was over.
Deep breaths. Avis Abernathy needed to take deep breaths in order to trudge up the staircase to the seventh year boys' dorm. She sighed as she neared the door, closing her eyes as lyrics drifted out around her - seemingly attempting to slap her in the face with irony.
'I know you wanna leave me, but I refuse to let you go...'
"Please tell me I'm still your Gams!" Avis exclaimed as Ben pulled open the door. Surprised by the unusual greeting, Ben's lips pursed together as his face contorted in confusion. Even though Avis was unaware of the reason for his sending for her, he was convinced she was trying to make everything harder for him. He took note of the new freckle above her right eye before softening his expression.
"Of course you're still my Gams! No matter how many times I tell you.... you persist with asking," Ben stated with a sigh and a shy smile. He stepped aside to let Avis enter, rubbing at the back of his neck awkwardly.
"Well sorry for showing concern! I forgot I'm not allowed!" Avis retorted as she brushed past him and into the room. Not exactly the best reaction for a girl ready to beg forgiveness, but at least the reasons for fighting had been remembered. Apparently it was unacceptable to tell Ben Connelly one was worried about him.
"Avis, I'm not your only friend here," he had said before, lighting a chocolate cigarette and blowing off her 'what if's.
"Thank Merlin for that! Would be pointless to be close to someone who gets all... iffy over everything!" she had spat back, turning on her heel and leaving him behind. Too many times they'd had the same discussion. Once after he'd been hit on by a fifth year, once after she'd mentioned a fit bloke she'd met over the summer, and always with the same conclusion. Ben held her close and claimed he would never do so again for fear of appearing weak, Avis would argue he owed her a mind blowing shag, and neither questioned why so many nothings had gotten out of control.
Now they were back in the same routine, though Avis Abernathy considered herself doomed to be an ex-best mate and Ben Connelly was shakily turning off the record player.
"You're right, you shouldn't be allowed to worry," Ben remarked, shuffling over to his bed and staring at the floor as he sat down.
"You see? That's confusing, Ben! If you'd just say what you mean I wouldn't take things the wrong way! Why shouldn't I be allowed to worry?" Avis asked, frowning as her hair began to frizz. It was too difficult to focus on managing it, so she let it go as she joined him on the edge of the bed.
"Bloody - Avis, I'm trying," Ben responded, placing a hand to his temple for a moment. Avis remained quiet, biting her lip as she watched him. So much for asking for forgiveness before he could speak.
"You shouldn't worry because I'm not going anywhere," he continued, trying to clear up his meaning. For once Avis didn't come back with a hypothetical situation. It was best to accept that for now he was here, at least to avoid another fight.
"I'm sorry, Ben. I'm just... being mardy. I know you're... not leaving," Avis said after a moment, shifting closer to him. She debated giving him a hug, but her hands remained in her lap. She'd not heard why he'd wanted to see her. It could still end up being he wanted to end their friendship and was taking the long route to get to his point.
"No, I'm not. And I've been thinking... we've been fighting a lot, Av. It's not... helping me figure things out exactly," Ben stated, running a hand through his hair.
Avis wanted to hate that move, or so she would call it if they were playing their game... which they weren't. She wanted to get fed up and storm out, or challenge him, but she had no idea what was going on. So, she decided to seriously loathe the curtains instead, glaring at them as she folded her arms over her chest.
"What do you need to figure out?" she asked, biting her lip again to keep herself from crying. Ben would have panicked had he been watching her. Fortunately, he was very intent on tying his shoes.
"I've never been good at this, Av. I've never been able to be there for you like you want me to be. So I've always told myself that you couldn't depend on me and we couldn't be close," Ben explained, looking everywhere but at her. He considered turning the record player back on to drown out the silence, but Avis's jaw returned to its normal spot eventually.
"You can't make all the decisions, Ben! I'm in this friendship too. What if I want to be close? If I want to be close and you want to be close, that's it!" Avis fumed, punching him in the shoulder to get him to look at her.
"Our view of close might be... different right now. It's not that easy, Av, you don't get it," Ben argued, snorting with frustration. He hardly knew what he was talking about. He knew why he was picking fights with her. The problem was that he didn't think she would believe him.
"Tell me! I'll get it if you tell me, please!" Avis begged, lip quivering slightly. Her mind couldn't choose between anger and fear, love and hate. Her hand shot out to grasp his arm before she knew what she was doing.
"I guess... I guess I could show you, but you'd... have to understand something first," he told her nervously, wincing as she grabbed his arm.
Avis's eyes filled with horror. Was he hiding a dark mark? Was he hiding some other friend under his bed? Hell, was he hiding that he was a... squib or a muggle... or.. something? The anxiety was driving her mad. She had to know!
"What?" she asked simply, weary eyes resting on his for a brief moment.
Ben shifted, face slightly pink as their eyes met. Taking a deep breath, he moved closer - placing a hand on her shoulder.
"I am not Jude Law," he stated as calm as possible, given the circumstances.
"Well, of course you aren't, but wha-" Avis started to say, but Ben stopped her with his lips, hand reaching up to cup her face gently. Avis squeaked with surprise, eyes growing wider before they snapped shut. Part of her was screaming that all of this was absurd, but it was violently attacked by the other part of her that agreed this was not Jude Law and she liked it that way. As hard as it was for her to admit that somehow, sometime in the past few months she'd started fancying Ben Connelly of all people, her hands flew to his face in mere seconds as she deepened the kiss.
"I said I'm not a ruddy actor, Avis!" Ben grunted as he pulled back suddenly, not trusting that he'd gotten his point across.
Avis blinked at him for a moment or two, lips still slightly parted and heart racing. They wouldn't make the perfect couple. They would fight, he'd hurt her feelings, she'd scare him by caring, he'd never show affection if anyone but her was around, and yet? She was perfectly happy to know that he was not sodding Jude Law (er, which she would regret thinking later as Jude Law was still marvy and abfab even if he weren't Ben) and he had kissed her. Not to prank Merlin as had been the idea the year before, not to win their game of suggestion and... moves, but just because he wanted to! He wanted to kiss her and she wanted to kiss him and they were kissing in his dorm!
"I know! You don't have to be so iffy about it!" Avis stated, rolling her eyes and pressing her lips to his once more. Ben smiled into her kiss, wrapping an arm around her and pulling her close. Well, as long as they agreed on something... it was a start.
Erm... YAY?!
♥ Ferin