:; but you don't exist...I'm walking around outside and it's a beautiful day. The sky is blue and there's a nice breeze. I feel okay but tired. There is a little sadness in me, mostly the loneliness. Trying to look on dating sites but it just seems nothing looks interesting. There's nothing wrong with the guys I see but I'm not interested. I do ( Read more... )

:; I would believe you're still around...How has it been what? 15 or 16 years? And yet it seems as if only yesterday I was home, in Louisiana, smelling the salt sea water that was only miles away. It's strange you know? Sometimes it feels as if it never happened and another days it's as if I was just there. It's a bittersweet thing. Sometimes I ( Read more... )

:; And you know damn well why I hide it...Work is getting quite hectic again because of COVID-19. It's quite interesting how some people still think it's a hoax or not as bad as it seems. Texas is starting to get so badly packed in the ICU that they're having to refuse people. At the Urgent Care I work at we're constantly busy and on the move. Most ( Read more... )

:; Another chance at life...It's July 30th and I just turned 30. It's kind of a bittersweet feeling to be honest. I didn't get to do anything that I wanted to do and that's upsetting but not surprising. It usually happens, but I am grateful for being able to age another day. A part of me sad because I don't feel as if I did much of anything in my ( Read more... )

:; If it's alright with you, it's alright with me.As I stand outside in the blazing Texas heat I wonder why I am wasting time. I know it's sunday,a good day of rest. But honestly I've had to much rest. I am turning 30 this month and what have I got to show with progress? Yes, I have accomplished some things and I am proud of those but I am still ( Read more... )

:; even if we're scared...

I've definitely Fallen a couple of times and here I am again at the bottom. But if there's one thing I've learned that I can pick myself up again. It isn't easy but it's worth it. Self-control and discipline is what I have to focus on. I can do it because I do deserve a good healthy life. I just have to keep going.

:; and the new life begins...

I've been struggling but I'm trying to pull myself back together. A lot of things have been happening with work and I don't like it. It definitely isn't the worst and I'm grateful I still have a job but it wasn't what we asked for. I'm hoping that I come to be comfortable with this so that I can feel okay again.

:; Always lingeringI feel very exhausted today. I've been eating too much I haven't been very productive. I know I need to work out but I probably won't. I should definitely write more too. I just feel so tired... I'm feeling quite unfulfilled and empty lately. I'm feeling like at any moment my life could fall apart. My job isn't exactly stable and ( Read more... )

:; So why can't I be her?I'm really frustrated right now. I've had a weight loss plateau and I even gained 3 lb. I don't look any different and my clothes still fit fine. So it might be muscle. But it's still upsets me. My stomach is still chubby and I fucking hate it. I know it's not a big deal and I'm not obese. But it does make me sad. I'm ( Read more... )

:; We find ourselves...I'm feeling restless. I want to do something but I have no motivation to do anything. But I really really want to do something. I'm walking around the yard because I just can't get the willpower to do anything else. My head hurts and it's muggy and a little chilly outside. I'm excited about my novels and how I'm close to ( Read more... )