Chatpost, ftw.
"Wait, how the fuck do I know if this is recording...? ...Wait, is it recording now? Shit! *sounds of fumbling around, the clearing of a throat, and Mary's trying to pretend that didn't happen*
Uh, hey, you reached Mary! I'm not answering right now, probably because I hate you-- uh, no wait, that's not right, uh, because I'm not here right now. Leave a message!"
(Wanna get in touch with Mary, for some ungodly reason? Well, you've reached her cellphone- put "text" or "voice" in the subject line and she'll get back to you when she remembers!)
Number: (410)678-5572